How many Melbourne players would get a game at any other club?

[ALOTOFDUDES]

Biff.

Brendan Fevola is an interesting case study, Not just sporting wise, but he holds great scientific significance in the world of Primatology.

For those who dont know, Primatology is '.. the study of primates. It ranges from anatomical studies of primate ancestors and field studies of primates in their natural habitat, to experiments in animal psychology and ape language. It has cast an immense amount of light on basic humab behaviors and ancient ancestry of these behaviors...'


In the case of Fevola, scientists have been blown away that this unique primate has the ability to show basic forms of interaction with humans on a scale never seeen before by any ape, orangatung, monkey etc.. He has the most advanced speech ever seen by Primatologists, and while his intellectual capacity is still well below that of a human, scientists believe that this amazing case study may help unlock the secrets to our past.

Scientists have been studying the Fevola lineage for decades, after Brendans grandfather was caught by police stealing bananas at the Coburg Market. If this primate had the ability to find the market, target the fruit seller and consciously take the bananas in the hope of nobody noticing, then surely the sky would be the limit for human-like primate behaviour.

The fact that Brendan has the ability to put on his own jumper, shorts and boots and chase a football around is cause for celebration for world renowned Primatologists, such as Christophe Boesch, Geoffrey Bourne and Marina Cords.

In their 2007 case study entitled 'The Fevola lineage - evolution before our eyes', they marvelled at what was taking place. How could a family of apes develop so quickly in the modern world? It was only 100 years ago that Luigi Fevola (Brendans great grandfather) was the star attraction at the Rome Zoo. To think that he needed bananas thrown to him is almost inconceivable when it was his very own son who changed the face of Primatology on that important day at Coburg market.

Sadly, a lot of the great recent research was undone when Brendan returned to his animalistic ways and was caught urinating in public earlier this year. Primatologists called it a 'kick in the guts' , and wondered if they had jumped the gun.. or were they part of a hoax?

They were given hope again when Brendan made is first appearance on the Footy Show for the year, just weeks after the incident. Scientists tuned in, holding their breath. The KPI required for the go-ahead with their Fevola studies was that this amazing primate must clearly speak a minimum of 5 words from the English language on his first appearance back on the show. They counted 7, and at the National Institute for Primate Research the champagne began to flow.

Hahahah.. it's funny because it's true