Lame Jokes Part 2

[Andrewy]

I was walking down the beach when I heard a swimmer yelling for help with a shark circling him.
I just laughed....I knew that shark wasn't going to help him.

 

[Andrewy]

What's either a really gross animal issue OR an impressive, magical school?


Hogwarts.

 

[Andrewy]

I can cut down a tree only using my vision.

I saw it with my own eyes.

 

[Andrewy]

What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts?

A barberqueue.

 

[Andrewy]

A Big Shout Out to my fingers.

I can count on all of them.

 

[Andrewy]

I used to be able to play the piano by ear, but now I have to use my hands.

 

[Wallaby]

I used to be able to play the piano by ear, but now I have to use my hands.

My Grandfather used to fiddle with his beard.

 

[GreyCrow]

My Grandfather used to fiddle with his beard.

 

[GreyCrow]

I had an operation on my hand and asked the doctor if I would be able to play the piano after

' Of course ' he said

What a fantastic result after never trying to play one

 

[Wallaby]

I had an operation on my hand and asked the doctor if I would be able to play the piano after

' Of course ' he said

What a fantastic result after never trying to play one

When I was a kid, I wanted a watch, but my Grandfather gave me a set of bagpipes.

I said 'But I wanted to know the time'. He said 'Just play the pipes'.

So I did, and the guy next door shouted 'Who's playing the f******* bagpipes at 1am?'.

 

[Andrewy]

I wear a stethoscope so that in a medical emergency I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions.