If I were a betting man, I suggest it will get a mention in Ginni's #1 Biography, regardless of how many press releases the club put out denying involvement from the players.
Vintage Bay Mofra's Bottom 50 for 2023
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TubbsFarquhar
TheBrownDog
Forgot about Gini, #1 will probably be him. I wouldn't be surprised if Mof puts an easter egg in there, something like Harry already featured at #13 given him and Ben are really the same person.
Not saying I believe the press release verbatim - although clearly the Pies believe it’s irrefutable- but in the absence of any concrete evidence to the contrary, the story is maybe one level above Jennifer Keyte and the Galliano bottle on the credibility scale
- Sep 3, 2019
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If it was the whole bottle surely she would of mentioned it on the news being that much of an achievement
Galliano bottle now, its getting worse. The actual story i heard about it was a lot more credible than that.
Don't be naive. Why do you do think Collingwood traded away a prodigious young proven goal sneak talent who was a massive fan favourite if there wasn't any legitimacy to the rumours.
- Sep 3, 2019
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Basically because he did a few things on filed in finals that went against the whole team structure and the races the night before wasnt well received. And his forward pressure is poor. Enter L.Shultz
No doubt Schultz is a upgrade on Ginnipig, but I honestly do believe there was a Stevens/Carey type of tension at the Pies which meant one of the players involved had to go. Personally I think The Pies got rid of the wrong bloke. But time will tell, it always does.
- Aug 18, 2018
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Well that’s how it is with Chinese Whispers… but it was Galliano bottle decades ago. I doubt the version you heard was actually any more true
Naïvety is believing social media rumours, or thinking that being a fan favourite’ makes your job secure… there were plenty of reasons to trade him including as mentioned above plus doing drugs at the training camp. Hawks wanted him and Schultz in sealed his fate. Or do you think Jayden Stephenson was also doing weird shit?
Dinsdale
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Nicely done. Sorry I took your picture punchline a few pages backPlayer 2 - Tom Jonas
Pictured: Did I get the wrong person? It's not unusual...
Likes: Adelaide
Hates: VicBias
Tom Jonas was a Port Adelaide co-captain who then took the reins himself as was the sole captain, including in 2023. This is remarkable as he was somehow an AFL captain but not in his side's 22. It is one of the many reasons Port supporters love Ken Hinkley.
Playing as an undersized tall defender, Jonas often came up short against taller opponents which set the scene perfectly for Port come finals time. This year he was overtaken by so many teammates he was unofficially known as 'caravan'. He managed to play 13 games yet despite being captain he was dropped enough times to co-write Taylor Swift's next album. When he did play AFL he was about at effective as a waterproof tampon which, according to a quick poll of AFL fans on social media, is intrinsically linked to to the most common descriptions of David Koch.
Averaging less than 8 disposals and 2 clangers in 2023, Tom set standards so low that Brent Harvey asked if he was single. He climbed to a whopping 25th at Port Adelaide this year for average contested marks(!)
Eventually he was dropped for finals to add respectability to Port's inevitable losses.
Jonas would retire at the end of the season on 215 games which in fairness is an outstanding effort for a local boy taken as a rookie.
Fun fact: Jonas' debut game was in 2011, a 165 point loss against Hawthorn. I assume Port fans wanted Ken sacked after that game in the mistaken belief he is human and not a scientific hybrid creature made of cockroach, vegemite and discarded vials of Keith Richards' DNA.
Tom, kudos on getting everything out of yourself during your career. Welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2023.
So basically your best mates brothers uncles sister (or as they’re known in Geelong, mum)
Ya reckon??
Ya reckon??
Last edited:
- Oct 25, 2001
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When it comes to sex parties I have a couple of mates into all that and the things they have told me make your hair curl. Pouring a bottle of Galliano down a hose into someone's rear end sounds tame by comparison.So basically your best mates brothers uncles sister (or as they’re known in Geelong, mum)
Ya reckon??
philreich
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It's called butt-chugging n00b
it's also potentially deadly
Wife Charged In Booze Enema Death
Police: Alcoholic Husband Could Not Drink Due To Ulcers, Heartburn
www.cbsnews.com
The fact people do these dumb things doesn't mean >insert name of random celebrity< was involved
The world needs more scepticism
No one ever talks about what a nice guy Tom Jonas is.Player 2 - Tom Jonas
Pictured: Did I get the wrong person? It's not unusual...
Likes: Adelaide
Hates: VicBias
Tom Jonas was a Port Adelaide co-captain who then took the reins himself as was the sole captain, including in 2023. This is remarkable as he was somehow an AFL captain but not in his side's 22. It is one of the many reasons Port supporters love Ken Hinkley.
Playing as an undersized tall defender, Jonas often came up short against taller opponents which set the scene perfectly for Port come finals time. This year he was overtaken by so many teammates he was unofficially known as 'caravan'. He managed to play 13 games yet despite being captain he was dropped enough times to co-write Taylor Swift's next album. When he did play AFL he was about at effective as a waterproof tampon which, according to a quick poll of AFL fans on social media, is intrinsically linked to to the most common descriptions of David Koch.
Averaging less than 8 disposals and 2 clangers in 2023, Tom set standards so low that Brent Harvey asked if he was single. He climbed to a whopping 25th at Port Adelaide this year for average contested marks(!)
Eventually he was dropped for finals to add respectability to Port's inevitable losses.
Jonas would retire at the end of the season on 215 games which in fairness is an outstanding effort for a local boy taken as a rookie.
Fun fact: Jonas' debut game was in 2011, a 165 point loss against Hawthorn. I assume Port fans wanted Ken sacked after that game in the mistaken belief he is human and not a scientific hybrid creature made of cockroach, vegemite and discarded vials of Keith Richards' DNA.
Tom, kudos on getting everything out of yourself during your career. Welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2023.
See 2016 for his pre-emptive attempt at protecting Andrew Brayshaw's face
- Sep 3, 2019
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Like the actual Tom Jones in the picture do the Port supporters throw their undies at him in lust? Or just Ken?
Mofra
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Lifetime achievement award: Jake Stringer
Pictured: Looking like a suburban cricketer who lost a bet
Likes: Students
Hates: School
Jake Stringer peaked at 21 and has been chasing that "student high" ever since.
Nicknamed "The Package" by Brian Taylor, presumably for the same reason Damien Barrett is nick-named "The Purple Headed-Warrior", Stringer famously won AA selection in 2015, was carried to a flag in 2016, and after a 2017 of poor performance on and off the field he was sent packing to a club where his low, low standards would be tolerated... nay, embraced.
Threatening to 'breakout' each year since, Jake is the AFL equivalent of half a lap-dance: you get a little tease and ultimately end up disappointed.
Each 'non-contract' year Jake would rock up to the Hangar looking like he had a busy Christmas delivering presents to school children and then struggle to run games out and, more recently, suffer injury due to not looking after himself. A mid-sized forward with grand designs to become a midfielder, he had two good games in 2023 (both predominantly as a forward) then spent the rest of the year doing his best impersonation of Gary Rohan during finals inside of Mitch McGovern's 2021 body. All up he finished with under 18 games, no September action (again) and in his last game was subbed off as part of a 126 thrashing by the Giants.
Apart from not preparing himself for the AFL lifestyle with the exception of getting absolutely shithouse tattoos, Jake famously 'likes them a little young' (to quote Trump about his good friend, Jeffery Epstein). At Essendon he wears number 25 in a nod to his hero, Leonardo di Caprio. He also likes the NBA, particularly Josh Giddey.
Fun fact: Jake's birthday is Anzac Day, just like Hank Azaria, Al Pacino and Ella Fitzgerald. His favourite food is "lots" and dislikes running, dieting and people who walk on escalators.
As this season is a contract year Jake may actually perform a little bit. Kudos on a lifetime of underachievement and welcome to the Bottom 50 lifetime achievement honour board.
Pictured: Looking like a suburban cricketer who lost a bet
Likes: Students
Hates: School
Jake Stringer peaked at 21 and has been chasing that "student high" ever since.
Nicknamed "The Package" by Brian Taylor, presumably for the same reason Damien Barrett is nick-named "The Purple Headed-Warrior", Stringer famously won AA selection in 2015, was carried to a flag in 2016, and after a 2017 of poor performance on and off the field he was sent packing to a club where his low, low standards would be tolerated... nay, embraced.
Threatening to 'breakout' each year since, Jake is the AFL equivalent of half a lap-dance: you get a little tease and ultimately end up disappointed.
Each 'non-contract' year Jake would rock up to the Hangar looking like he had a busy Christmas delivering presents to school children and then struggle to run games out and, more recently, suffer injury due to not looking after himself. A mid-sized forward with grand designs to become a midfielder, he had two good games in 2023 (both predominantly as a forward) then spent the rest of the year doing his best impersonation of Gary Rohan during finals inside of Mitch McGovern's 2021 body. All up he finished with under 18 games, no September action (again) and in his last game was subbed off as part of a 126 thrashing by the Giants.
Apart from not preparing himself for the AFL lifestyle with the exception of getting absolutely shithouse tattoos, Jake famously 'likes them a little young' (to quote Trump about his good friend, Jeffery Epstein). At Essendon he wears number 25 in a nod to his hero, Leonardo di Caprio. He also likes the NBA, particularly Josh Giddey.
Fun fact: Jake's birthday is Anzac Day, just like Hank Azaria, Al Pacino and Ella Fitzgerald. His favourite food is "lots" and dislikes running, dieting and people who walk on escalators.
As this season is a contract year Jake may actually perform a little bit. Kudos on a lifetime of underachievement and welcome to the Bottom 50 lifetime achievement honour board.
- Sep 3, 2019
- 22,240
- 64,368
- AFL Club
- Collingwood
Favourite food is lots.Lifetime achievement award: Jake Stringer
Pictured: Looking like a suburban cricketer who lost a bet
Likes: Students
Hates: School
Jake Stringer peaked at 21 and has been chasing that "student high" ever since.
Nicknamed "The Package" by Brian Taylor, presumably for the same reason Damien Barrett is nick-named "The Purple Headed-Warrior", Stringer famously won AA selection in 2015, was carried to a flag in 2016, and after a 2017 of poor performance on and off the field he was sent packing to a club where his low, low standards would be tolerated... nay, embraced.
Threatening to 'breakout' each year since, Jake is the AFL equivalent of half a lap-dance: you get a little tease and ultimately end up disappointed.
Each 'non-contract' year Jake would rock up to the Hangar looking like he had a busy Christmas delivering presents to school children and then struggle to run games out and, more recently, suffer injury due to not looking after himself. A mid-sized forward with grand designs to become a midfielder, he had two good games in 2023 (both predominantly as a forward) then spent the rest of the year doing his best impersonation of Gary Rohan during finals inside of Mitch McGovern's 2021 body. All up he finished with under 18 games, no September action (again) and in his last game was subbed off as part of a 126 thrashing by the Giants.
Apart from not preparing himself for the AFL lifestyle with the exception of getting absolutely shithouse tattoos, Jake famously 'likes them a little young' (to quote Trump about his good friend, Jeffery Epstein). At Essendon he wears number 25 in a nod to his hero, Leonardo di Caprio. He also likes the NBA, particularly Josh Giddey.
Fun fact: Jake's birthday is Anzac Day, just like Hank Azaria, Al Pacino and Ella Fitzgerald. His favourite food is "lots" and dislikes running, dieting and people who walk on escalators.
As this season is a contract year Jake may actually perform a little bit. Kudos on a lifetime of underachievement and welcome to the Bottom 50 lifetime achievement honour board.
- Aug 18, 2018
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- Geelong
AHEM
Cats deny Pies in all-time classic to book home prelim - Cats deny Pies in all-time classic to book home prelim
- Aug 18, 2018
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Also, awesome write up Mofra
philreich
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Why would we throw Ken at him?
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