Squad selection on page 4.
Match discussion begins page 9.
Post match discussion begins page 21.
The NAB Cup continues to roll on in 2013, and with it comes that all too familiar pre-season hollowness. It’s kinda footy, but it’s not really. It’s like paying your cover charge at a strip club and being handed a dirty magazine. Technically you’re getting what you paid for, but you just can’t help but think you’re getting ripped off.
Our first round of games was pretty solid. There’s no doubt we were the better of the three sides that took part in those bastardised little games, but thanks to some top draw choking against Geelong, we could only emerge with one win. But the good news is that win was against Fremantle, and although it really doesn’t matter at all, it’s always fun to do. If the derby is their grand final, then surely a NAB Cup derby is at least equivalent to a prelim?
There was a few standout performers from the two games, with Scott Lycett being the clear highlight. The young ruckman has the carrot of a red hot crack at AFL football this season being dangled in front of him, and you could tell. He was running around like the slightly erratic kid at school who’s just had his hat nicked. He marked well, tackled strongly, and was the dominant ruckman in both games. Fair play to him, he looks a long term option for us. Chris Masten continued to enhance his reputation as the greatest pre-season footballer the world has ever seen. The difference is now he seems to be able to carry that form into the real stuff, which is pleasing. Big Turbo McGovern impressed as well, and although he appears more and more vacant each time I see him, he might just be a handy player.
Sharrod Wellingham debuted, looked the goods, and then promptly buggered his ankle. On a f*cking trampoline. Now, while this is a setback for Sharrod and the Eagles on a whole, I can’t help but feel a tinge of relief over this situation. The way I see it, it’s a win for the whole of society over the PC Brigade that are hell bent on destroying the universe. Trampolines nowadays are almost unrecognizable from those wonderful 90’s death traps that I remember. Between the padding, the safety nets and the artificial springs, it’s pretty much impossible for kids of today to hurt themselves. And in all honesty, you haven’t had a childhood until your two fattest mates have double bounced you near enough to over the fence, before you get your leg stuck in that little corner gap between the springs. So kudos to Sharrod for proving that there is still hope for all the little kiddies out there. Just don’t do it again.
So now we’re up against Collingwood, who must feel as if they have just won the lotto with the stroke of luck they’ve received this off season. In any other summer, the Pies fessing up to a severe problem with illicit drugs would surely have been enough to steal headlines for months. Hell, five or six years ago there was a pretty serious threat of a nation-wide earthquake caused by hundreds of thousands of monocles dropping to the ground in disgust when a similar thing happened. But to the Magpies’ rescue came the Government and ASADA, armed with enough hyperbole to make Dwayne Russel seem positively understated (spectacularly good analogy!). And so Collingwood’s little problem has been firmly swept under the rug, probably until the next slow news day when Robbo will sink some schooners and come out swinging.
The game offers the first opportunity for Quinten Lynch to return to Subi, even though I’d say there’s every chance they’ll sit him out. Pretty much every West Coast fan with eyes can see that poor old Lynchy is past it. He’s always been up there with the most uncoordinated professional footballers in history, but last season he seemed to have real trouble controlling where he was putting his legs. The big fella served us admirably, and arguably won us a flag given that in 2006, he was the forward line. But he’s done now. Funnily enough, it’s only now that the Victorian media have fallen in love with Lynchy, and as they keep on saying, “if he kicks 40 or 50 goals, it could win Collingwood a flag”. But he’s not going to kick 40 or 50 goals now, is he? Be serious. He’s been in the news this week because of his deformed pinky finger. If Ian Healy’s fingers look like a bag of Twisties, then Q’s pinky looks like he’s got a Cheezle permanently stuck around the knuckle.
Match discussion begins page 9.
Post match discussion begins page 21.
The NAB Cup continues to roll on in 2013, and with it comes that all too familiar pre-season hollowness. It’s kinda footy, but it’s not really. It’s like paying your cover charge at a strip club and being handed a dirty magazine. Technically you’re getting what you paid for, but you just can’t help but think you’re getting ripped off.
Our first round of games was pretty solid. There’s no doubt we were the better of the three sides that took part in those bastardised little games, but thanks to some top draw choking against Geelong, we could only emerge with one win. But the good news is that win was against Fremantle, and although it really doesn’t matter at all, it’s always fun to do. If the derby is their grand final, then surely a NAB Cup derby is at least equivalent to a prelim?
There was a few standout performers from the two games, with Scott Lycett being the clear highlight. The young ruckman has the carrot of a red hot crack at AFL football this season being dangled in front of him, and you could tell. He was running around like the slightly erratic kid at school who’s just had his hat nicked. He marked well, tackled strongly, and was the dominant ruckman in both games. Fair play to him, he looks a long term option for us. Chris Masten continued to enhance his reputation as the greatest pre-season footballer the world has ever seen. The difference is now he seems to be able to carry that form into the real stuff, which is pleasing. Big Turbo McGovern impressed as well, and although he appears more and more vacant each time I see him, he might just be a handy player.
Sharrod Wellingham debuted, looked the goods, and then promptly buggered his ankle. On a f*cking trampoline. Now, while this is a setback for Sharrod and the Eagles on a whole, I can’t help but feel a tinge of relief over this situation. The way I see it, it’s a win for the whole of society over the PC Brigade that are hell bent on destroying the universe. Trampolines nowadays are almost unrecognizable from those wonderful 90’s death traps that I remember. Between the padding, the safety nets and the artificial springs, it’s pretty much impossible for kids of today to hurt themselves. And in all honesty, you haven’t had a childhood until your two fattest mates have double bounced you near enough to over the fence, before you get your leg stuck in that little corner gap between the springs. So kudos to Sharrod for proving that there is still hope for all the little kiddies out there. Just don’t do it again.
So now we’re up against Collingwood, who must feel as if they have just won the lotto with the stroke of luck they’ve received this off season. In any other summer, the Pies fessing up to a severe problem with illicit drugs would surely have been enough to steal headlines for months. Hell, five or six years ago there was a pretty serious threat of a nation-wide earthquake caused by hundreds of thousands of monocles dropping to the ground in disgust when a similar thing happened. But to the Magpies’ rescue came the Government and ASADA, armed with enough hyperbole to make Dwayne Russel seem positively understated (spectacularly good analogy!). And so Collingwood’s little problem has been firmly swept under the rug, probably until the next slow news day when Robbo will sink some schooners and come out swinging.
The game offers the first opportunity for Quinten Lynch to return to Subi, even though I’d say there’s every chance they’ll sit him out. Pretty much every West Coast fan with eyes can see that poor old Lynchy is past it. He’s always been up there with the most uncoordinated professional footballers in history, but last season he seemed to have real trouble controlling where he was putting his legs. The big fella served us admirably, and arguably won us a flag given that in 2006, he was the forward line. But he’s done now. Funnily enough, it’s only now that the Victorian media have fallen in love with Lynchy, and as they keep on saying, “if he kicks 40 or 50 goals, it could win Collingwood a flag”. But he’s not going to kick 40 or 50 goals now, is he? Be serious. He’s been in the news this week because of his deformed pinky finger. If Ian Healy’s fingers look like a bag of Twisties, then Q’s pinky looks like he’s got a Cheezle permanently stuck around the knuckle.
Dean Cox will probably play in this game, so too will Beau Waters and possibly even Cale Morton. It’s a bit closer to a proper game of footy, and as such it will be a much better way to get a handle on how the squad is sitting at the moment. We gave them a firm bumming at Subi last season, and you’d hope that the team would attack this game with enough intensity to get the job done. Once again, this game doesn’t really matter an iota. In all honesty, if we can get through without any injuries then that probably can be considered a win. Except f*ck that, lets beat these bastards.
