Official Match Thread S33 Round 2 - West Coast Wonders vs East Side Phoenix at the Colosseum (MOTR)

[Chipmunk]

Not sure if joke or serious

 

[damicky]

I'm an annoying mf

This is true

 

[ClarkeM]

I didn't eat them in 2021, I think it was 2008/9. Also I poached them so they weren't roasted.

Your facts are sketchy at best.

Remember that time you tried to peel an unboiled egg?

 

[croweater 41]

Remember that time you tried to peel an unboiled egg?

And succeeded

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

Let's face it. The Phoenicians had a brief blip in history when they had good fleet. That was even before my time.

Admirable Chippy and co have tried to resurrect that ghostly fleet. Still, it is a failed endeavour.

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

And succeeded

Nonsense. it was a shellacking.

** Coat and hat grabbed**

 

[Shermy]

Who said anything about tiny members? I think you're confusing me with Shermy

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

Nonsense. it was a shellacking.

** Coat and hat grabbed**

Wow! You negged me.

 

[Brenton Davy]

ENOUGH!!!!

Throughout the history of music there have been precious few covers that have surpassed the original. There's something quintessential when the writer of the song also sings it; the raw humanity of someone truly inhabiting the lyrics like no other person can. Of course, there are some notable exceptions like Jimi Hendrix taking on Bob Dylan's "All Along The Watchtower" or Nine Inch Nails' "Hurt" being reimagined by Johnny Cash, where the performance somehow transcends the divide between writer and performer.

Disturbed's cover of "The Sound Of Silence" is no such exception.

Put aside for now the fact that the version of the song we all know and love was actually somewhat of a cover itself*, The Disturbed version is the audio equivalent of this painting "restoration":

You can vaguely see what they were trying to do and there is some resemblance
to the original, but it's a tragic example of the Dunning-Kruger effect.​

But let's delve a little bit deeper into what makes this cover such an abomination:

• Does it replace an instrument with a piano to instantly emotionally manipulate a sense of seriousness? Check.
• Is the song slightly slower with breathier vocals to match the cliched template of every trailer for an upcoming shitty TV show**? Check.
• Does it have an unnecessary string section? Check.
• Does the vocal melody change just enough to make stupid people think they've actually made the song "their" song? Check.
• Is there symphonic percussion instead of standard drums to bring the pomposity up to nauseating levels? Check.
• Does it build to a cathartic release that is completely at odds with the original? Check.
• Do you hear the singer push his voice to the limit in a completely transparent attempt at making him seem sincere? Check.

The original song has been saved by the US Library Of Congress for being "culturally, historically, or aesthetically important", a fate that will only be mirrored by the Disturbed version if every physical copy of it ever produced were to be piled together, set on fire and launched out of Earth's orbit; a recording of the world's collective sigh of relief would probably meet that same bar of being "culturally, historically, or aesthetically important".

I could fart a tune that had more emotional sincerity and less self-important grandeur than anything David Draiman produces in this crime against humanity. I would prefer to listen to Crazy Frog dragging his green, webbed fingernails down a chalkboard than ever torment myself to listen to that atrocious worship of banality ever again.

To be completely honest, I'm more disgusted than words can describe that hundreds of millions of people have willingly put themselves through the aural molestation that this song truly is. I feel sick. MannumPower makes me sick. Humanity makes me sick. But I'd rather throw up all over the floor, lick it clean, then vomit again in a continuous Sisyphean eternity if it meant erasing this pathetic excuse for musical reappropration from existence.

* It was originally released as a very simple folk song and didn't make any real impact at all. Then, without either Simon or Garfunkel's knowledge or approval, the producer Tom Wilson remixed the song, adding electric guitar and drums to it for the record label to release, to massive worldwide success.
** Seriously, enough is enough.

ENOUGH!!!!

Throughout the history of music there have been precious few covers that have surpassed the original. There's something quintessential when the writer of the song also sings it; the raw humanity of someone truly inhabiting the lyrics like no other person can. Of course, there are some notable exceptions like Jimi Hendrix taking on Bob Dylan's "All Along The Watchtower" or Nine Inch Nails' "Hurt" being reimagined by Johnny Cash, where the performance somehow transcends the divide between writer and performer.

Disturbed's cover of "The Sound Of Silence" is no such exception.

Put aside for now the fact that the version of the song we all know and love was actually somewhat of a cover itself*, The Disturbed version is the audio equivalent of this painting "restoration":

You can vaguely see what they were trying to do and there is some resemblance
to the original, but it's a tragic example of the Dunning-Kruger effect.​

But let's delve a little bit deeper into what makes this cover such an abomination:

• Does it replace an instrument with a piano to instantly emotionally manipulate a sense of seriousness? Check.
• Is the song slightly slower with breathier vocals to match the cliched template of every trailer for an upcoming shitty TV show**? Check.
• Does it have an unnecessary string section? Check.
• Does the vocal melody change just enough to make stupid people think they've actually made the song "their" song? Check.
• Is there symphonic percussion instead of standard drums to bring the pomposity up to nauseating levels? Check.
• Does it build to a cathartic release that is completely at odds with the original? Check.
• Do you hear the singer push his voice to the limit in a completely transparent attempt at making him seem sincere? Check.

The original song has been saved by the US Library Of Congress for being "culturally, historically, or aesthetically important", a fate that will only be mirrored by the Disturbed version if every physical copy of it ever produced were to be piled together, set on fire and launched out of Earth's orbit; a recording of the world's collective sigh of relief would probably meet that same bar of being "culturally, historically, or aesthetically important".

I could fart a tune that had more emotional sincerity and less self-important grandeur than anything David Draiman produces in this crime against humanity. I would prefer to listen to Crazy Frog dragging his green, webbed fingernails down a chalkboard than ever torment myself to listen to that atrocious worship of banality ever again.

To be completely honest, I'm more disgusted than words can describe that hundreds of millions of people have willingly put themselves through the aural molestation that this song truly is. I feel sick. MannumPower makes me sick. Humanity makes me sick. But I'd rather throw up all over the floor, lick it clean, then vomit again in a continuous Sisyphean eternity if it meant erasing this pathetic excuse for musical reappropration from existence.

* It was originally released as a very simple folk song and didn't make any real impact at all. Then, without either Simon or Garfunkel's knowledge or approval, the producer Tom Wilson remixed the song, adding electric guitar and drums to it for the record label to release, to massive worldwide success.
** Seriously, enough is enough.

So tell me, what do you REALLY think about that song?

 

[por_please_ya]

Let's face it. The Phoenicians had a brief blip in history when they had good fleet. That was even before my time.

Admirable Chippy and co have tried to resurrect that ghostly fleet. Still, it is a failed endeavour.

We're as strong as the Rocinante mate

 

[SM]

East Side Phoenix Official Team Sheet
Round 2 vs West Coast Wonders

B: Red mist - Shermy - thewizardmelon
HB: raskolnikov - eth-dog - daddy_4_eyes
C: Jack The Godfather - Agent93 - Zoops
HF: akkaps - Drunkgoliath - SunsphereParker
F: Milera2Betts - Itsmyshow - MC Bad Genius
FOLL: por_please_ya - Chipmunk - MannumPower
INT: larrikin - 11kgm

CHANGES:
11kgm OUT > INT
jackenny INT > OUT

#RISEUP​

Man, you take NinjaSwan and I out of that team, and.. yikes.

 

[Chipmunk]

Man, you take NinjaSwan and I out of that team, and.. yikes.

I took your spot and we put a rookie in NinjaSwans. Seamless

 

[Brenton Davy]

Man, you take NinjaSwan and I out of that team, and.. yikes.

We only recruit quality

 

[ClarkeM]

I took your spot and we put a rookie in NinjaSwans. Seamless

Seems less*

 

[MP_]

Let's face it. The Phoenicians had a brief blip in history when they had good fleet. That was even before my time.

Admirable Chippy and co have tried to resurrect that ghostly fleet. Still, it is a failed endeavour.

Before your time, I’m pretty sure you witnessed it along with the birth of baby jesus

 

[SM]

I took your spot and we put a rookie in NinjaSwans. Seamless

I mean if you think the captain of the side and me are like for like then my point is probably underlined.

 

[NinjaSwan]

Seems less*

Where is SunsphereParker?

 

[NinjaSwan]

Also thewizardmelon talking a big game and then hiding in the back pocket it seems.

 

[Chipmunk]

I mean if you think the captain of the side and me are like for like then my point is probably underlined.

Well…former SFA Captain and current larrikin holder vs me, plus you’ve got a much higher EPL score than me so far this week, happy with the comparison.

 

[Chipmunk]

Where is SunsphereParker?

He’ll pop in

 

[SM]

Well…former SFA Captain and current larrikin holder vs me, plus you’ve got a much higher EPL score than me so far this week, happy with the comparison.

Ramsey

 

[daddy_4_eyes]

East Side Phoenix Official Team Sheet
Round 2 vs West Coast Wonders

B: Red mist - Shermy - thewizardmelon
HB: raskolnikov - eth-dog - daddy_4_eyes
C: Jack The Godfather - Agent93 - Zoops
HF: akkaps - Drunkgoliath - SunsphereParker
F: Milera2Betts - Itsmyshow - MC Bad Genius
FOLL: por_please_ya - Chipmunk - MannumPower
INT: larrikin - 11kgm

CHANGES:
11kgm OUT > INT
jackenny INT > OUT

#RISEUP​

https://cdn.pastemagazine.com/www/articles/RANDY-MARSH-quotes-internet-pr0n.jpg

 

[damicky]

https://cdn.pastemagazine.com/www/articles/RANDY-MARSH-quotes-internet-pr0n.jpg

Is that why you are a half back flanker?

 

[Chipmunk]

Ramsey

I mean I’m sitting there with 39 and 4 to play which I thought was respectable until everyone kept pulling out 50s and 60s from somewhere. It’d usually be Man U but they played how everyone hoped they would

 

[thewizardmelon]

Also thewizardmelon talking a big game and then hiding in the back pocket it seems.

You witnessed our defense last year Ninja, currently me in the BP has resulted in us being undefeated