Game Day Schofields Shitlords vs. The Carlton Copium Machine @ A literal mud pit because it rained all night and they played Rugby there yesterday

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Mar 21, 2017
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Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Carlton are venturing West for the first time in over 12 months. Their first challenge is finding their way to the airport! It's been 6 long weeks since the Blues had to jump on a silver bird to play their foopy for the weekend. It's the first of many hurdles they face this weekend.

Waiting for them in Perf is the most ****ed weather we've seen for a while. WAFL players yesterday were (probably) wishing they'd packed their flippers instead of their footy boots

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There's been no let-up over night either. I worked nightshift last night and can confirm it pissed down all night long.

It's all good though, Optus Stadium and it's state of the art drainage awaits, it should be pristine and ready for footy.... oh wait they played ****ing RUGBY there last night.

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Well I'm sure that's going to keep the ground in tip top shape.

The final hurdle awaiting the Brave Boys in Blue is an Eagles team with their tails up and nothing to lose.

The Eagles will be playing to keep their coach, Jarrad Schofield, employed. I really hope they win because every other applicant seems to have pulled out for 'family reasons' (translation: I'm scared I'll do badly and be blacklisted from coaching ever again. Zero ticker from any of the flogs.)

As seen in this breathtaking fred here: Bloozers fans have already spent the week injecting pure copium in preparation for the absolute schamozzling the Wiggles are going to give them today. Carlton are fielding no less than six debutants, one of whom is literally named Binns.

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Talk about inspirational!

The Eagles meanwhile have an actual AFL standard forward line, a blonde curly mullet bounding off half back, and 50,000 campaigners in the crowd ready to boo the Blooz every time they touch the ball (all 6 times).

Prediction: Eagles by 34 points, Carlton to get lost on the way back to the airport again, half of Carlton's team to be denied boarding the flight home on account of no one having ever seen or heard of them before.


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Above: Carlton fans watching their fearless players choke yet another finals berth
 
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From June premiers™ to going in as underdogs against Spoon Coast...

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It breaks my heart m8.
 

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Sunday arvo game fair chance Kelli Underwood is scheduled for this one. She is going to get mighty confused with a Cripps on each team.
She gets confused anyway!
 

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a bit like Fages in the coaches box
Not entirely. Fages at least has his favourites that shouldn't be granted automatic selection every week, Kellie just ****s up over everybody.
 
Fages at least has his favourites that shouldn't be granted automatic selection every week, Kellie just ****s up over everybody.

Kellie has never blown a GF 🤷‍♂️


There's one problem with that - she has the same lady bits that I have!

So you’re a self-loathing misogynist?
 

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Game Day Schofields Shitlords vs. The Carlton Copium Machine @ A literal mud pit because it rained all night and they played Rugby there yesterday

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