The Filth Wizard
Just here for the zipline
- Jul 26, 2007
- 94,526
- 166,441
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- Moderator
- #526
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Official Match Thread Season 30 Round 13: Roys FFC vs Gold City Royals at The BJO
- Thread starter FootyGuy13
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Put me down for 5 minutes time. Who can I piss off quickly
How much do I win?
CakeEater
Brownlow Medallist
Rowdy Richard Ayodade
Are you the rather overweight and bald guy at the table closest to the toilet? My female staff have asked me to kick you out for muttering terrible obscenities at them! Calm down mate, this will be your only warning!
TedDougChris
🏆 🦍
- Mar 10, 2007
- 52,545
- 98,136
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- Western Bulldogs
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- Charlton Athletic, Roys FFC
Marlowe
𝓤𝓷𝓽𝓸𝓾𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓫𝓵𝓮
- Mar 12, 2012
- 29,931
- 53,386
- AFL Club
- Melbourne
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- Gold City Royals
No, that's me.
Well quit it and just drink your redheads.
Marlowe
𝓤𝓷𝓽𝓸𝓾𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓫𝓵𝓮
- Mar 12, 2012
- 29,931
- 53,386
- AFL Club
- Melbourne
- Other Teams
- Gold City Royals
My seduction routine may appear abrasive and uncouth but my charms always work. It's like a ballet; a beautifully choreographed dance. Please just allow me the time to get to my next step where I drop my pants and then lunge and honk on the bar maid's chest.
That's disturbing but mildly impressive, I will try it
Marlowe
𝓤𝓷𝓽𝓸𝓾𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓫𝓵𝓮
- Mar 12, 2012
- 29,931
- 53,386
- AFL Club
- Melbourne
- Other Teams
- Gold City Royals
That's disturbing but mildly impressive, I will try it
50% of the time it works all the time.
Worst case it ends with you in remand. But, hey, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Mooch
🏆 🦍
Just call me Bob.
BATs bar bill continues to confound scientists and economists the world over. There are PhD students and tenured professors in university campuses cruncing the numbers trying to come up with a workable theory that won't get them laughed out of uni bars as we speak. I feel for them. It's a lost cause.
Mooch
🏆 🦍
Here here. I'll still watch it of course but I was planning on being there myself until last Saturday.
Kennedy Parker
🎨𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖙🎨
- Moderator
- #538
After overrunning the Swamprats and ending their nine-game winning streak it's nice to have a more relaxed fixture this week as we head over to Old Town, Sweet West to take on the geriatrics at the Roys for nahnah's 100th game. Given we'll be visiting a retirement village I'd expect the week to be rather uneventful, but it's always nice to check up on Mobbs and observe his gradual descent into madness in real-time.
Upon arriving in the Sweet City Retirement Village, I quickly spotted Mobbs frantically typing away on a computer so I went over to greet the league founder with the gravitas he deserves.
'Hey what are you up to mashing the keyboard here you old troglodyte?' I said, 'Did a rational human being school you about how Injuries and Suspensions are a terrible concept again?'
'Of course not!' Mobbs snapped back as he looked like he was beginning a rant, 'I have been spending all of my 3 daily waking hours for the past 9 months to design my ideal version of the Sweet FA and now it's finally complete!?! The code is finished! Now I have a new game to play that is superior to Qooty - I call it FOOTY! Which is short for Fast Qooty, it's a text-based simulation of the Qooty we play in Sweet but I've created a fantasy league in an imaginary world called Australia! I've almost finished simming an entire season, tomorrow I'm going to sim a grand final between the Geelong Cats and the Richmond Tigers!'
'Do you guys have some sort of medication shortage here Mobbs?' I asked, quite bemused, 'Because of all the ideas you've hatched, this is without a shadow of a doubt the stupidest.'
'I don't care what you think about it Kennedy Parker,' Mobbs passionately dismissed my critiques, 'This will be my life's work! The modern Sweet FA has become such a commercialised! I mean... most people are calling the league the "SFA" these days. WHAT RUBBISH. And what's worse, one of the main admin candidates manangatang who most say is the favourite to win the election is proposing to create sub-committees and form some kind of corporate super-structure! I miss the days when the league was focussed on the sport, not all the surrounding pizzaz. By that I mean before all of you knuckledraggers come along! I'm going to spend all my time recreating my world in Minecraft and put together a fantasy league on an online Qooty forum so I can build a competition that lasts as long as the SWEET FA!'
'...Well good luck with that Mobbs, frankly I struggle to imagine what kind of neet would have the time on their hands to enjoy following an RNG app, just so they can roleplay a game that we already have in real life.'
As I got up and left to find the rest of my teammates, I had to ponder how crazy one has to be to think that they could build a community around a text-based random Qooty simulator. I mean what even is the appeal of it? What can people do? Talk shit and brag about a line of random stats that the simulator has spat out that has nothing to do with your own efforts? It's a complete waste of time.
As I turned the corner I found a number of my teammates; spookism, CakeEater, MrPremiership and Blacky gathered around a laptop. They seemed absolutely enthralled with something so I went over to take a look.
'Hey KP! Check this out!' Blacky said, 'Mobbs just showed us a brilliant new game - it's called Footy. We're currently watching the game simulate Qooty in a fantasy league called the AFL. There's my persona Dean Towers taking a mark in front of MrPremiership's persona Ben Stratton ! Isn't this just amazing?'
4: 23.54 {HFF} Dean Towers has taken a strong mark over Ben Stratton
'Of course you guys would be into this...'
CakeEater
Brownlow Medallist
fitzroybowiedog
Diminishing Returns.
- Mar 13, 2007
- 26,015
- 33,740
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- Western Bulldogs
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- FFC, CFC, 76ers, Oilers, Roys FFC
i'm amazed i haven't been dropped yet!
This has got to be my best mid season fade out by far!!
This has got to be my best mid season fade out by far!!
I'm always in remand so nothing new. It's time for your shout now old mate, I'll have a pint of VB and a double Dalwhinnie Winters gold straight up.
Blacky
The King
- May 9, 2006
- 46,816
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- Denver Broncos & Gold City Royals
Hello my old friend
Dingster
Hall of Famer
Word has it players would prefer to miss out than risk taking your bench spot.
Kennedy Parker
🎨𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖙🎨
- Moderator
- #544
Dean Towers is an athletic beast.
Mooch
🏆 🦍
Dingster
Hall of Famer
So I managed to get Marlowe and The Filth Wizard down for a couple of frothies but Kennedy Parker is a ****ing spoil sport! It's piss weak really I'm extending top hospitality and shouting a couple...WTF! There are obviously some people who don't like a drink and that's okay but at least say no thanks.
Marlowe it's your shout campaigner and I Was hoping to see your pick up style!
Marlowe it's your shout campaigner and I Was hoping to see your pick up style!
CakeEater
Brownlow Medallist
Thanks for the invite you campaigner
The Filth Wizard
Just here for the zipline
- Jul 26, 2007
- 94,526
- 166,441
- AFL Club
- North Melbourne
- Other Teams
- Arsenal, Coney Island Warriors
- Moderator
- #549
Watched Borat 2 tonight, it's great.
I invited everyone mate, you just chose to ignore me like Kennedy Parker
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