Official Match Thread SEASON 33 GRAND FINAL: ROYS FFC V EAST SIDE PHOENIX at SFA PARK

[Wosh]

Bloody Hell Clod, some of us are still in an ice bath.

 

[CakeEater]

No need to 'visualise' it campaigner

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Noobz0r, Blacky, MrPremiership, spookism, Smartys Power, Paddles_, brahj, Kapow!!!, ShaunDuggan, CakeEater, Ulahoopski, NTRabbit, The Filth Wizard, BRAB, GreyCrow, Marlowe, nahnah, Easty, grumbleguts

Aah yes the last time you were relevant

 

[TJASTA]

hope both teams lose
neither of them deserve it

 

[Zevon]

hope both teams lose
neither of them deserve it

Promising trash talking effort but needs more pirate accents.

2/10, would not recommend

 

[royboy2]

I would like to officially endorse the East Side Phoenix as my favoured Grand Final team.

 

[Brenton Davy]

INTRO

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I really don't wanna be here but let's just get this over and done with. The Season 33 SFA Grand Final will be contested between perennial s**t-trucks Roys FFC who have somehow managed to fluke their way into the Grand Final and the East Side Rebrands who are a chance to break a 21-season premiership drought.

This is also the first occasion ever in SFA history whereby a grand final will be contested without at least one of the following 6 clubs:

Mount Buller Demons
West Coast Wonders
Fighting Furies
Dragons FFC
Baghdad Bombers
Sin City Swamprats

Prior to this the Roys last contested a grand final in their Season 25 glory where fitzroybowiedog carried them to break a 21-season premiership drought. The East Side (former) Hawks last made the grand final in Season 24 where they were destroyed by the Baghdad Bombers at the end of a controversial grand final week.

But now, let's take a look at how these two teams made it here.

The Story So Far...

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The Roys FFC finished the regular season in 6th spot with a 9 win, 8 loss record with a percentage of 96.8%. Their form was up and down for the majority of the season, never winning more than two wins in a row during the home and away. And when they last 5 out of 7 games most of which by heavy margins between Rounds 9-15 it looked like their seasonal late season collapse is on again. However, big wins against the Wonders and a fading Gumbies outfit cemented their finals place. They avoided their usual finals choke by holding off a late season comeback from the Coney Island Warriors in the elimination final, then fortunately the Roys had a bye in the second week (technically they played the Gumbies but we all know how they go in finals).

And finally, they pulled off an incredible upset, snapping the rampaging Dragons' 8-game winning streak at their home ground with Sterge instrumental in the ruck and a late goal from tigs2010 sealing their spot in the big dance.

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The East Side Phoenix finished the regular season in 4th spot with a 10 win, 7 loss record and a percentage of 100.3%. The East Side have had a funny season where they notch up wins regularly, but their losses have been heavy. After Round 15, the East Side had sewn up a top 4 spot with 10 wins on the board, a couple of late season stumbles against the Dragons and Bears cost them a home qualifying final. Then a tough loss to the Dragons in the qualifying final saw them looking down the barrel. However, they recouped and smacked the Demons, turning the tables on the team that defeated them by 90 points in Round 7. Then they finally overpowered bogey team and historical rivals the Baghdad Bombers to book a grand final berth.

Now they are a chance to repeat the feat of the S25 Roys and S27 Swamprats who respectively broke a 21-season premiership drought in those deciders. Lose and they will have the longest premiership drought record to themselves.

Stats and Charts
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The Roys are generally pretty even across all stages of the game averaging the following differentials across the 4 quarters:
Q1: +0.1
Q2: -0.95
Q3: -0.5
Q4: 0.25

Early on in the season, they tend to have disastrous quarters here and there which will end up as a match-losing fade out. But since Round 16, their performances have been far more consistent across the game which has helped them win games consistently.

Their defense have improved dramatically perhaps due to the contribution of #WOSHMOBBSDING. From R16-PF the Roys have conceded only 75.4 points per game compared to 97.93 points conceded per game from R1-R15. Offence has followed suit, improving from 87.8 points per game to 101.4 points per game. Mooch leading the way with 27 goals in 5 games during that run.

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East Side games tend to take a different pattern, the Phoenix regularly get off to fast starts in games. They are convincingly the best first quarter team in the league; averaging 29.45 points for and only 18.9 points against. They have won 14 out of 20 first quarters this season so an early lead is BAU for the East Side.

However, their offence and defense do not maintain the same intensity as the game goes on. While their average fourth quarter differential is skewed by a 72-point loss in the final quarter against the Demons, but the median differentials for the second, third and fourth quarters are -6, -4 and -2 respectively. So if you're an East Side supporter, you'd be hoping for a good start.

Their average quarter-by-quarter differentials are as follows:
Q1: +10.55
Q2: -2.35
Q3: -1.05
Q4: -5.65

Player To Watch

From the Roys FFC, I will be watching Dingster. Not because I know how he's going in Qooty, but just because he's handsome.

I will also be watching Mobbs mainly to see if anyone puts the TROGLODYTE on his arse. I wonder if I can contract Brenton Davy to run onto the field to give that campaigner a much deserved shirtfront.


From the Phoenix, there are 7 players I actually like playing in the game and they all play for East Side. They are Moondog21, MD, Son of God, Nakia, Cockarfitt, Stabby and Jack The Godfather so hopefully they all have solid performances.

While most in the league can agree that por_please_ya is a pretty horrible woman, there is an equally strong consensus that she is having a ripper of a season in the ruck, averaging nearly 20 disposals, laying 62 tackles in the regular season and kicking a goal a game.

The Verdict

Previewing this game has made me physically ill, seeing two perpetual strugglers in the grand final is like witnessing the proletariat win against the bourgeoisie. Which disgusts me as a member of the ruling elite. This is truly the defining mark of incompetence against NaturalDisaster's job as admin, not giving serial_thrilla the reigns for a day, not an inability to get any meaningful reform in the league done, not letting Committee members flagrantly disregard deadlines, not failing to enforce clear cut rules, not approving nonsensical rebrands. THIS is what makes ND an incompetent admin.

But when it comes down to it, I'd much rather see even a massive campaigner like Agent93 win than witnessing Mobbs experience joy so Phoenix by 103 points, Jack The Godfather to win the Deestroy.

* the Roys, * the East Side, * you all and see you next season.

Captains remember to submit your team sheet by Thursday, 11:59pm AEST.

​

I’m ALWAYS up for a good shirtfront mate!!! Just point me in the right direction!!

 

[Brenton Davy]

Match threads shouldn't open until Tuesday. It is known.

The GF is different. It’s a week long celebration of how shit the other 10 teams have been!!!

 

[Zevon]

Everybody boycott the thread in protest against it even existing this early.

Oh **** I just broke my own boycott

Never mind, carry on then

 

[Brenton Davy]

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Liked and quoted for Rachel Riley content

 

[Wosh]

Rude.

 

[Brenton Davy]

Bloody Hell Clod, some of us are still in an ice bath.

Why???

Resting your overworked index fingers???

 

[Ulahoopski]

No need to 'visualise' it campaigner

View attachment 1428279

Noobz0r, Blacky, MrPremiership, spookism, Smartys Power, Paddles_, brahj, Kapow!!!, ShaunDuggan, CakeEater, Ulahoopski, NTRabbit, The Filth Wizard, BRAB, GreyCrow, Marlowe, nahnah, Easty, grumbleguts

Why? Really, why?

 

[Zevon]

Anyway I seem to remember a heated discussion in our preliminary final match thread about whether the Phoenix are even a real side that actually exists (I think that was the gist of it anyway… somebody feel free to go back and read all 87 pages to confirm)

So hi Phoenix. Are you real? Do you exist??

 

[BRAB]

Hope the Hawks lose. Still the greatest dog act in league history when they delisted me without consent for no reason

 

[eth-dog]

The GF is different. It’s a week long celebration of how s**t the other 10 teams have been!!!

Hmm. I'll accept that.

 

[eth-dog]

Anyway I seem to remember a heated discussion in our preliminary final match thread about whether the Phoenix are even a real side that actually exists (I think that was the gist of it anyway… somebody feel free to go back and read all 87 pages to confirm)

So hi Phoenix. Are you real? Do you exist??

Obviously we exist. Don't listen to Hate.

 

[Jhye Clark 13]

This should be another walk in the park.

 

[I Dont Care]

Good luck to both teams for that thing you did. Of course I will have to go for the Roys, and remember a Phoenix doesn't change it's feathers

 

[TedDougChris]

 

[Chipmunk]

 

[Chipmunk]

Also, how am I going to gatecrash this week?

I didn’t think this through.

 

[TedDougChris]

 

[Chipmunk]

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[TedDougChris]

 

[MP_]

Good luck to both teams for that thing you did. Of course I will have to go for the Roys, and remember a Phoenix doesn't change it's feathers

And a Roy doesn’t change their underwear