Tonga Bob
Call me Ishmael
- Oct 26, 2013
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Hello all and welcome to the thirteenth round of the thirty seventh season of the Sweet FA, I’m your host Chef Bob coming to you live from Ljp86's Lair. This week we see the Dragons host the Coney Island Warriors in a match that will certainly go down in history as an example of simulated football. Qooty I believe they call it. Odd looking concept, but there’s something about it. Almost hypnotic. Tell you what I like though, and that’s scran.
“What the heck is scran anyway, Chef Bob?” I hear you type. A fair and relevant question it is too. It has a few different yet related meanings, but the most common one refers to food of questionable quality. Originating in the north of England and Scotland, it has been popularised in recent times when describing fast food served at sporting venues. And today friends I hijack this week’s match thread opening posts by bringing to you several examples of the food served up at qooty grounds around Sweet, this time from Ljp86's Lair.
Sweet, I give to you…
Ljp86’s Lair is on Beldribilin, which is a fancy name for Dragon Island. They have an imaginary fire-breathing dinosaur thing as a mascot, so it stands to reason that the signature qooty scran is the Dragon Burger. It comes in a Single Dragon (CM12.95) and a Double Dragon (CM21.95) option that has a kick to it, but today I’ve gone with the Single Dragon as I don’t want to put my colon through twice the dinosaur meat. That’s right, dinosaur meat.
Originally an outlet of the Jones’ Good Ass BBQ & Foot Massage franchise, the scran shack at Ljp86’s Lair replaced the deep fryer in the previous off season with a flame griller that they bought from the East Siders when they stopped burning birds. It is activated by the number of dragon gifs posted by the home team, with the idea being that this would replicate the breath of their imaginary mascot. Good for match thread activity numbers, bad for qooty scran (and our retinas).
Here's the Single Dragon Burger:
And like several other qooty grounds in Sweet they also have a pizza option (CM20). Same result.
Finally there’s a sausage roll option (CM12.95, 13.50 with sauce and you REALLY need sauce):
Chef Bob’s Scran Rating:
Regarding the qooty, the Dragons are 9th on the ladder with a record of 5 & 6 and the Warriors are 11th on the ladder with a record of 4 & 7, however the Dragons have won pretty much every match between these teams in 84 years so no reason why that will change – Dragons by 21.
Players to watch out for are [checks notes] Greenery Purple Jesus Bonz (really watch out for this campaigner he’s a menace) pantskyle Piggy Smalls & The Filth Wizard.
Captains please do the needful before midnight WA Bias time this coming Friday 1 (because someone is watching, always they're watching).
Bon Appétit, friends!
“What the heck is scran anyway, Chef Bob?” I hear you type. A fair and relevant question it is too. It has a few different yet related meanings, but the most common one refers to food of questionable quality. Originating in the north of England and Scotland, it has been popularised in recent times when describing fast food served at sporting venues. And today friends I hijack this week’s match thread opening posts by bringing to you several examples of the food served up at qooty grounds around Sweet, this time from Ljp86's Lair.
Sweet, I give to you…
Ljp86’s Lair is on Beldribilin, which is a fancy name for Dragon Island. They have an imaginary fire-breathing dinosaur thing as a mascot, so it stands to reason that the signature qooty scran is the Dragon Burger. It comes in a Single Dragon (CM12.95) and a Double Dragon (CM21.95) option that has a kick to it, but today I’ve gone with the Single Dragon as I don’t want to put my colon through twice the dinosaur meat. That’s right, dinosaur meat.
Originally an outlet of the Jones’ Good Ass BBQ & Foot Massage franchise, the scran shack at Ljp86’s Lair replaced the deep fryer in the previous off season with a flame griller that they bought from the East Siders when they stopped burning birds. It is activated by the number of dragon gifs posted by the home team, with the idea being that this would replicate the breath of their imaginary mascot. Good for match thread activity numbers, bad for qooty scran (and our retinas).
Here's the Single Dragon Burger:
And like several other qooty grounds in Sweet they also have a pizza option (CM20). Same result.
Finally there’s a sausage roll option (CM12.95, 13.50 with sauce and you REALLY need sauce):
Chef Bob’s Scran Rating:
Regarding the qooty, the Dragons are 9th on the ladder with a record of 5 & 6 and the Warriors are 11th on the ladder with a record of 4 & 7, however the Dragons have won pretty much every match between these teams in 84 years so no reason why that will change – Dragons by 21.
Players to watch out for are [checks notes] Greenery Purple Jesus Bonz (really watch out for this campaigner he’s a menace) pantskyle Piggy Smalls & The Filth Wizard.
Captains please do the needful before midnight WA Bias time this coming Friday 1 (because someone is watching, always they're watching).
Bon Appétit, friends!
DRAGONS FFC 
