Society & Culture The BigFooty Guide to getting the non-gender specific person of Your Desire (Part 8)

[Shell]

Worse that can happen is..............

We date, have an awkward convo, have an awkward dinner, awkward conversation about who's place

End up just having a fu** anyway (which in hindsight is what we were both there for) and end up both disappointed.

Never again.

Or as in most cases, just have an awkward date and be working up an excuse to run 30 seconds in.

Or.........another story,

But you're right. Dating sucks. I simply can't be bothered anymore.

Hence why don't ask her out for dinner first up. Drinks or a coffee date ftw. If you are hitting it off suggest a movie/walk/whatever to extend it. Then it could even turn into a meal. If it's awks, can bail early.

 

[Run n Spread]

Hence why don't ask her out for dinner first up. Drinks or a coffee date ftw. If you are hitting it off suggest a movie/walk/whatever to extend it. Then it could even turn into a meal. If it's awks, can bail early.

I did all that. Look I'm just weird. I seriously don't think like most people. To me most people are full of sh** but quid pro quo most people think the same of me.

I don't actually care that much anymore anyways.

 

[Shell]

I think a lot would have to do with being tarnished a "****". Which is another thing that I'm still surprised modern society hasn't caught up with. Everyone likes sex, some more than others. As long as people are being responsible does it really matter how many partners they've had? I'm not talking about going through a full division 4 reserves team but merely hooking up with people on a regular basis. For guys, sex is usually used as a topic to have a laugh about with mates and to take the piss. For some women they still feel apprehensive about discussing it with a group of friends. On open relationships, it'd be hard to say how you'd react until you tried it, which if you're in a long term relationship would cause a lot of people to side with the cautious approach. But you're right, we spend our younger years sleeping with numerous people but then expect to spend 60+ years with the same person and wonder why people cheat.

.

Exactly. No it doesnt matter. I'll admit hearing stories about- to use an example- footy "groupies" who try to sleep with AFL footballers, having orgies, group sex, etc makes me a tad uncomfortable- and definitely not my scene. But if they are into that, big ****ing whoop.

And yeah, I know I've never actually been in an open relationship it is all well and good to theorize how I'd like to be in one, but you never know, I may not be into it at all. Swingers scene- eh probably not. So yeah maybe just random hook ups with a third party, or hiring escorts would be the best "safest" way to go about things- ie. that no one gets hurt. Idk... i'm kinda rambling on here

 

[perthblue]

I did all that. Look I'm just weird. I seriously don't think like most people. To me most people are full of sh** but quid pro quo most people think the same of me.

I don't actually care that much anymore anyways.

and we're meant to believe that a married woman is gonna risk her marriage for a guy like you?

 

[Perth gal]

A married woman from my local cafe hit on me last week. Yes or no?

Normally I would say no.......sort out your issues, work on marriage etc.

But I will be unemployed circa mid next month and have no chance there after, in fact will potentially will never work again and then be condemned to singledom so to speak. So why the hell shouldn't I have a crack? Not like I approached her, I don't know the ins and outs of her relationship and the bro code is frankly a load of bullshit.

You can have a crack. But she's still married. Not sure why you would want to complicate your life ....

 

[2006_Eagles]

A married woman from my local cafe hit on me last week. Yes or no?

Define 'hit on you'

 

[Shell]

You can have a crack. But she's still married. Not sure why you would want to complicate your life ....

Shhhhhhut uuuuuuuup.

I wanna hear the story this thread is kind of dead atm.

 

[DemonTim]

I never understood the logic of "you're not the one in the relationship, so it's fine if you **** that person".

It's not, and it's just an attempt to justify you valuing a root over any emotional damage it may cause.

 

[Run n Spread]

and we're meant to believe that a married woman is gonna risk her marriage for a guy like you?

Yes.

 

[Run n Spread]

I never understood the logic of "you're not the one in the relationship, so it's fine if you **** that person".

It's not, and it's just an attempt to justify you valuing a root over any emotional damage it may cause.

Because you are only guessing. For all you know both partners could be cheating, maybe they were unsure to begin with/fell out of love/are only sticking at it out of duty. Could be hard core swingers in an open relationship for I know. Either way you make a lot of assumptions.

 

[Run n Spread]

Define 'hit on you'

Gave number. I deleted from contacts.

Frankly whatever issues she has are up to her to sort. Not my place to get involved and I'm sure as hell not going to beg her to leave her husband etc etc.

 

[Run n Spread]

You can have a crack. But she's still married. Not sure why you would want to complicate your life ....

I won't (was just an unusual situation as I have never been hit on/approached genuinely before) but will ask this genuinely.

Wouldn't an affair uncomplicate one's life to a degree? In that it is just sex, everyone knows what they are there for and there is no complication or expectation.

I once had a FWB with someone when I was 21 and that was far less complicated and way more fun then some of the dramas I've encountered.

Don't get me wrong relationships can be fun too but there always seems to be unmet expectations and resentment down the track.

 

[MrsEddieBetts]

As someone who has been cheated on before, yeah I get the argument that only the person in a relationship is cheating, but I would never ever be 'the other woman'.

 

[Perth gal]

I think that it's up to you but I would feel like a bit of a dog or loser having sex with someone else's hubby. Surely there are enough single people around.

 

[craigos]

As a one night thing I think it's absolutely fair game from the single person involved, as an ongoing thing it's purely up to the individual but I would personally not be into an ongoing affair.

 

[Doss]

As someone who has been cheated on before, yeah I get the argument that only the person in a relationship is cheating, but I would never ever be 'the other woman'.

Ditto, and ditto. Couldn't be the 'other guy'.

 

[rippersnipper]

I'm too shy to get a single girl to talk to me, a married woman is completely out of the picture

 

[Xtreme]

I wouldn't, it's a bad place to be especially when everything goes pear shape

If you can swear that you won't get emotionally attached/involved then it becomes a maybe. however still dangerous proposition.

 

[Brad Goodman]

Different strokes for different folks. A friend of ours is currently cheating on her partner with a married (with two children) man - struggling to maintain respect for her TBH.

 

[Shell]

While I cgaf if RnS banged the married chick, I personally wouldn't cheat myself.

Am too honest and am the worst liar ever, anyway.

 

[craigos]

Different strokes for different folks. A friend of ours is currently cheating on her partner with a married (with two children) man - struggling to maintain respect for her TBH.

This is what I'd struggle with, if it was my mate I would tell him but I am assuming that your friend is the girl (am also assuming she is a friend of your partners). I'd feel like a proper prick talking to the guy knowing full well his partner is making him look like a chump.

 

[HirdyLannister]

I would tell the person who is cheating to confess to their partner, if they don't I'll tell them.
Wouldn't bother me if I lost the friendship because I would want someone to tell me instead of look like a mug.

 

[Shell]

I'm not sure what I'd do in that situation. Close friend that I saw all the time = probably tell.

Friend I didn't see all the time/ acquaintance= mind my own business.

 

[Smoooothy]

so the past week and a bit, I've hooked up with 3 different women. that's been fun but I feel guilty for actually enjoying myself because while it's great and everything, I can't stop ****ing thinking about my ex...

I really ****ing hope this is temporary

 

[craigos]

so the past week and a bit, I've hooked up with 3 different women. that's been fun but I feel guilty for actually enjoying myself because while it's great and everything, I can't stop ******* thinking about my ex...

I really ******* hope this is temporary

If you have started crying after sex, well that belongs in the AFS thread.