Society & Culture The BigFooty Guide to getting the woman of Your Desire (Part 7)

[woopedazz]

This is kind of similar to the last few posts.
Met this chick while out on the piss on Friday night. Made out with her a few times until stumps when she got a cab with her friend.

So basically, I've texted her a few times, with her responding pretty quickily each time, but she never initiates anything.
She has replied to all of my flirty texts in a pretty good way I thought, until I got a "" on it's own. Short cold replies never seem any good, so I just left it after that.
Seems like she's just stringing me along.

Or perhaps she's waiting for you to initiate you absolute goose. Ask her to meet up within the next few texts or that ship will sail.

 

[I bleed Blue]

Or perhaps she's waiting for you to initiate you absolute goose. Ask her to meet up within the next few texts or that ship will sail.

Correct, correct, correct.

One of my top rules when you meet/hook up with a new girl is "Strike while the iron is hot". Tee up a time to meet up with her ASAP. If you let the texts string on for too long her interest will eventually die off. She may meet someone else out the next weekend who wont beat around the bush so much. The intial attraction may just wear off. She may get board of the flirty (or chit chatty ) texts.

To Dan3490 show some asertiveness, pick up the phone and call her. Be confident and just ask her out to coffee/drinks (NOT A MOVIE).

 

[Dan3490]

Or perhaps she's waiting for you to initiate you absolute goose. Ask her to meet up within the next few texts or that ship will sail.

Yeah, she's obviously trying not to seem easy.

 

[Xtreme]

In line with my previous posts in this thread where i noticed the trend of being given an e-mail address or told to "facebook" her instead of getting a phone number. I've had someone recently say that i should skype her some time..... Bit perturbed by it as i'd have to contact her BEFORE going through skype, no point in me attempting to skype her when she's not even online to begin with.

 

[Papa Juggs]

Getting rejected is fun like that.

Don't make a fool of yourself but don't let girls just brush you off easily. If they want to reject you make them do it decisively.

 

[vealesy]

Weeks have passed. You've been in the friend zone for a while.

I absolutely agree with this.

If you get a number after doing well in the initial encounter, you have about 3 days to close a date. If you leave it longer you are doing one of two things.

1. Showing you cant organise your life within 3 days to free up an hour of your time, ie displaying lower value. Sure, some people are always busy, but if you cant make time for a date, what are you doing thats so damned important?

2. Being timid and unattractive and unassertive, ie displaying lower value.

Stringing things along with hesitation never works out.

IMO.

 

[vealesy]

I don't know. I think the list is a just a bit of a hotchpotch. Some of the stuff is bleeding obvious (don't stare at her **** or call her fat - so that's where I've been going wrong). Some of it sounds like stuff that would make a 14 year old girl swoon but would come off as creepy/weird to anyone else (buy her a cheesy symbol and tell her to think of her every time she looks at it).

muttweed is probably well intentioned but most of it is fairly useless advice. Everyone knows that girls basically want guys who are manly yet caring and gentlemanly and have a great sense of humour. The tricky bit is getting all that stuff in balance. For example, it's all very well to say 'don't be stubborn, let the girl have her way' but nobody respects a doormat. A guy could tick every single one of those 10 boxes and still come off as completely creepy and desperate and unattractive, because it's done in the wrong way.

Honestly I've never really regarded this thread as being about working out what women like in a guy. Most of us already know that. This thread is mostly about how to sell yourself to women. There's different philosophies about that.

Personally I figure that most guys are are already actually what women want, just that they don't really display that very effectively. Often they shoot themselves in the foot by doing stupid stuff that turns a girl off. Good product, crappy packaging. I believe that if guys learn a few basic things about how to more effectively convey the type of person they are to women then they will have plenty of success just by being (basically) themselves. You just have to be yourself in the right way, if that makes sense.

PUAs like rideclutch probably view it a little bit differently. I hope I am not presumptuous in saying that they mainly focus on the packaging - consciously tailoring the things they do in order to be a specific type of person and ultimately bag the girl that ordinarily would be out of their league. Average product, better packaging.

It's probably an oversimplification. Different stuff works better for different people. Me, I could never do PUA stuff because it just doesn't feel natural. To succeed with girls you have to be confident, and my confidence comes from being myself - which is a pretty upfront, blunt guy. Other people are probably more strategic and like the idea of having a strategy and an objective and a plan to get there with women so the PUA approach is good for them. Different strokes.

EDIT: Wow that was a long and rambling post. Kudos if you actually read it.

Good post.

This thread should not be about improving the product, it should be about improving the salesmanship of the product.

To demonstrate you are of high value, you already have to BE high value. There is no witchcraft or magic tricks to hide that forever. Eventually you get exposed as a charlatan.

Ive been single a couple of months now and am looking forward to getting back into dating, but have realised i have been of low value throughout and prior to my last relationship.

Ive quit smoking, started exercising, stopped junk food, etc. I need to BE of higher value to make that sell all the more easier.

Caesar I think you will find most PUA material is based on ideas you yourself represent. They just know how to cash in on AFC's. Its just another "self-help" industry sector. One "style" or "method" is not going to completely solve everything for anyone. Most PUAs would give the same advice as you, just be confident in yourself. Its easier said than done for a lot of people though. To get someone to be able to do that takes guidance, persistence, and discipline. PUA material offers that.

 

[Silent Alarm]

So there's this girl who I have a mutual friend with. I liked one of her comments, and she messages me out of nowhere about it, saying "glad you agree." Basically, we've never even spoken before, so how is this grounds for a private message? Surely it's not. Unless she's interested.

How long until I ask her to hang, or whatever?

 

[vealesy]

So there's this girl who I have a mutual friend with. I liked one of her comments, and she messages me out of nowhere about it, saying "glad you agree." Basically, we've never even spoken before, so how is this grounds for a private message? Surely it's not. Unless she's interested.

How long until I ask her to hang, or whatever?

Dude, go and read some books.

 

[raven echo]

So there's this girl who I have a mutual friend with. I liked one of her comments, and she messages me out of nowhere about it, saying "glad you agree." Basically, we've never even spoken before, so how is this grounds for a private message? Surely it's not. Unless she's interested.

How long until I ask her to hang, or whatever?

If you've never spoken to her before, then you are reading way too much into it.

 

[Mr Gor]

yeah pretty much

**** facebook

 

[frantelle]

So there's this girl who I have a mutual friend with. I liked one of her comments, and she messages me out of nowhere about it, saying "glad you agree." Basically, we've never even spoken before, so how is this grounds for a private message? Surely it's not. Unless she's interested.

How long until I ask her to hang, or whatever?

Chick obviously wants the dick

 

[Stratton_Gun]

So there's this girl who I have a mutual friend with. I liked one of her comments, and she messages me out of nowhere about it, saying "glad you agree." Basically, we've never even spoken before, so how is this grounds for a private message? Surely it's not. Unless she's interested.

How long until I ask her to hang, or whatever?

reckon she could be keen. there is no reason to start the convo otherwise and it would be rude not to reply with something. reply with something to feel out if she's keen

 

[Igloo]

reckon she could be keen. there is no reason to start the convo otherwise and it would be rude not to reply with something. reply with something to feel out if she's keen

Other than, you know, talk?

 

[Stratton_Gun]

Other than, you know, talk?

But if I recall correctly they don't actually know each other. May as well go for it and see if she's keen but do it subtely and tread carefully since you have a mutual friend and don't want things to get messy
Silent Alarm

 

[Silent Alarm]

But if I recall correctly they don't actually know each other. May as well go for it and see if she's keen but do it subtely and tread carefully since you have a mutual friend and don't want things to get messy

Friend is irrelevant.

And I spoke to her, obviously, when she sent me the message. We spoke back and forth, but I could tell the conversation was going dead. I didn't want to drag it on, so I didn't reply after a pretty bland/stunting "yeah, ha." It's all about the next conversation...

 

[Dagless]

Friend is irrelevant.

And I spoke to her, obviously, when she sent me the message. We spoke back and forth, but I could tell the conversation was going dead. I didn't want to drag it on, so I didn't reply after a pretty bland/stunting "yeah, ha." It's all about the next conversation...

Yeah, ha. ^Desperate for the baggin'

 

[Simple Jack]

No wonder I'm single

Igloo

 

[Igloo]

Igloo

Time to step up

 

[raff23]

this might be a bit off topic but whats everyone's idea of moving in with ur missus before your married against your parents wishes?, just come out and say "im moving in end of discussion" and risk alienating yourself or heed their advice and tell ur missus to be patient till the time is right risking the chance it may end the relationship?, i should add i plan on proposing soon so that throws another spanner into the works.

 

[vealesy]

If you need your parents permission to do something, you probably arent mature enough to do it yourself.

 

[ThePuppetMaster]

this might be a bit off topic but whats everyone's idea of moving in with ur missus before your married against your parents wishes?, just come out and say "im moving in end of discussion" and risk alienating yourself or heed their advice and tell ur missus to be patient till the time is right risking the chance it may end the relationship?, i should add i plan on proposing soon so that throws another spanner into the works.

Why do you care what your parents think? It's not their decision to make; so don't take into account their opinion, which seems to be based on some warped principles they have rather than emotion and reality.

 

[raff23]

i

If you need your parents permission to do something, you probably arent mature enough to do it yourself.

im not asking for their permission just their blessing, im of the thinking i should just grow a set of balls and tell them how it is, if were planning on getting married whats the issue?

 

[raff23]

w

Why do you care what your parents think? It's not their decision to make; so don't take into account their opinion, which seems to be based on some warped principles they have rather than emotion and reality.

There old school mate, traditional values when it comes to relationships, seem to think thats how it should be done, maybe in 1960. And atm im living in 2 places at once her joint and my folks house, i have a block of land im paying off as well which is apparently another issue, its really doing my head in as im the only one in the family that doesnt think like that.

 

[Smoooothy]

There old school mate, traditional values when it comes to relationships, seem to think thats how it should be done, maybe in 1960. And atm im living in 2 places at once her joint and my folks house, i have a block of land im paying off as well which is apparently another issue, its really doing my head in as im the only one in the family that doesnt think like that.

i had a mate who was in this boat. you just need to man up and tell them like it or not that it's going to happen. being that you're legally an adult there is nothing that they can do.