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DID YOU KNOW

On average, 80 people shoot at the Goodyear blimp each year.
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In 1471, a chicken in Basel, Switzerland, was accused of being 'a devil in disguise' after laying a brightly colored egg. The chicken stood trial, was found guilty and burned at the stake.​

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A monkey was once tried and convicted for smoking a cigarette in South Bend, Indiana.​

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In France in 1740, a cow was found guilty of sorcery and hanged.​

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In December, 1999 judges in Saudi Arabia sentenced a Filipino man to 6 months in prison and 75 lashes. The offense? Possession of alcohol. He was caught at the airport with two liquor-flavored chocolates in his luggage.​

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A poodle fell from a balcony in Buenos Aires in October 1988. It killed three people. One was struck on the head, the second run over by a bus while watching, the third witnessed the event and died from a heart attack.​

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In 1980, the Yellow Pages accidentally listed a Texas funeral home under frozen foods.​

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Over 11,000 people are injured every year trying out new sexual positions.​

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Expulsions from Scrabble® tournaments are very rare. However, in the United States two players have been expelled for violent play. One thrust a pencil up his opponent's nostril, the other knocked out his female opponent by a blow to the jaw.​

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Leicester police station once received a phone call from a 5-year old boy who reported that his sister was cheating at Scrabble.​

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At age 47, the Rolling Stones' bassist, Bill Wyman, began a relationship with 13-year old Mandy Smith, with her mother's blessing. Six years later, they were married, but the marriage only lasted a year. Not long after, Bill's 30-year-old son Stephen married Mandy's mother, age 46. That made Stephen a stepfather to his former stepmother. If Bill and Mandy had remained married, Stephen would have been his father's father-in-law and his own grandpa.​

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No dry piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times. Try it. :)

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The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American, who produced a 'staggering ****' over a period of 2 hr 12 minutes which was officially measured at 12 ft 2in. The offender is banned from 134 washrooms in his state.​

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Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a fart for an officially recorded time of 2 minutes, 42 seconds.​

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:thumbsu: :thumbsu:
Its actually 9 times. they tested it on braniac :thumbsu:
 
>Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Idiot Awards are
>bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then, is the
>glorious
>winner:
>
>1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
>during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James
>Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the
>barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.....
>
>And now, the Honorable World Dick Head Awards:
>
>2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting
>machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
>insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its
>men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger.
>The chef's claim was approved.
>
>3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
>during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
>had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
>
>4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
>found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
>from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
>incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone
>waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the
>mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and
prone to bizarre fantasies.
>The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
>
>5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
>head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received
>the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how
>close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
>
>6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
>counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
>the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which
>the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
>fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from
the drawer...$15.
>(If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime
>committed?)
>
>7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
>he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some
>booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his
>head at the window.
>The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head,
>knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas.
>The
>whole event was caught on videotape.
>
>8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
>grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
>woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
>Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in
>the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of
>the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied,
>"Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
>
>9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
>Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded
cash.
>The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash
>register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the
>clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated,
>walked away.
>
>A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!
>
>10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on
>a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police
>arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor
>home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted
>to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor
>home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to
>press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
 

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Naked as a Jailbird
Travion Davis, 19, suspected that Los Angeles police would recognize his distinctive clothing if he robbed a bank. So he stripped naked before his July 1993 raid, and made off with $15,000 in two shopping bags. Not surprisingly, the sight of a naked man running down back alleys with bags stuffed full of cash was distinctive enough to attract the attention of sheriff's deputies, who pursued him over several fences before grabbing him (by what we're not told) and taking him into custody.

In A Pinch
In December 1994, Winston Treadway took two live lobsters from a tank in a Boston, Massachusetts supermarket and stuffed them down his trousers. The lobsters fastened onto his manhood and refused to let go. Doctors reportedly said the result was "a do-it-yourself vasectomy" and told him he might never be a father.

Justice Might Be Blind...
Klaus Schmidt, 41, burst into a Berlin bank in August 1995, waved a pistol, and screamed "Hand over the money!" When staff asked if he wanted a bag, he replied "Damn right it's a real gun!" Guessing Schmidt was deaf, the manager set off the alarm, saying later, "It was ridiculously loud, but he didn't seem to notice."
After five minutes punctuated by Schmidt occasionally shouting "I am a trained killer!" police arrived and arrested him. Schmidt then sued the bank, accusing them of exploiting his disability.

...Or Maybe Just Crazy
In September 1994, Manila's "hanging judge" Maximiano Asuncion declared that people convicted of crimes carrying the death sentence should be made to wrestle poisonous snakes inside a giant aquarium open to the public.

Scott Free
Edward Williams of Houston, Texas, was fined $10,000 and given 10 years probation in March 1987. Formerly a storeroom supervisor at Houston's Jefferson Davis Hospital, Williams had been convicted of stealing 79,680 rolls of toilet paper. No one knew for sure what he'd done with the purloined paper.

A Chilling Effect
Joyce Lebrom fainted at a supermarket checkout counter in Berne, Switzerland, in September 1991. Staff thought she'd had a heart attack, but when paramedics arrived they found a stolen chicken stuffed down her bra. The cold from the chicken had caused her to pass out. After recovering in the hospital she was charged with theft.

Back Seat Driver
In the early hours of the morning, in June 1995, Mike Cyprian ducked into a restaurant in Hammond, Louisiana, to make a phone call. He left his car engine running and his nine-foot python lounging uncaged inside. When Cyprian came out of the restaurant he saw his car in a different spot and a man running away.

Driving Miss Daisy
When Patricia Wakelin of Westbury-on-Trym, England, advertised her Ford Fiesta for sale, David Brice, 28, seemed like an ideal buyer. He turned up with his granny and left the elderly woman with her while he took the car for a test-drive. That was the last Wakelin saw of both Brice and her car.
The old lady turned out not to be his granny at all, but someone from an old people's home whom he'd offered to take for a drive. Brice was eventually sentenced to two years in prison for the car theft and a number of other cons in May 1995.

Monkey Business
The owner of a zoo in Coviha, Portugal, dressed his three children in monkey suits and displayed them as "rare Sumatran orangutans," apparently with some success. He was arrested in September 1994.

Mr. Bubbles
Sacramento, California, December 1995: Burglar Brett Woolley, 25, had a stereo and other items from the home he'd broken into, lined up by the front door and all ready to go. He was then struck with the desire to take a bubble bath. He fell asleep in the tub, the owner returned, and the police were called to wake Woolley.

It's a Jungle out There
A burglar who broke into a bakery in Vilblach, Austria, in August 1985, found it something of an alarming experience. As he crept across the office in the dark, he was suddenly attacked by Lola the cockatoo. During the fight, the burglar knocked over a glass tank containing Egor the viper. By flashlight, he saw Egor slithering across the floor and, at that moment, the baker's pet mynah, Peppino, started his favorite imitation: a doorbell. Terrified, the burglar crashed through a window, cutting himself as he escaped. Baker Robert Koloini, roused by the noise, came downstairs to find his office in chaos, but the $3,600 in his safe still intact.

What a Rip-Off!
An uninformed burglar who stole a 300-year-old violin, in September in 1993, returned it to its owner's door in Munich, Germany, with a note complaining that it was out of tune. The violin was actually worth $80,000.

Picture Perfect
While lightening the load of a security van by $160,000 in May 1995, two robbers in Arlington, Texas, foolishly ignored the 23 Japanese tourists nearby. Although none of the visitors spoke English, they silently handed police 39 photos of the getaway car's license plate. The men were arrested soon after.

Damsels of Distress
Purse snatcher Daniel Pouchin ended up in the hospital when he tried to rob two women in a street in Nice, France, in August 1993. The victims were "burly" transvestites who beat him up and left him with broken ribs.

Hansel Seeks Gretel
The shortest trail we know of was left by Lee Hawke of Melbourne, Australia, in June 1993. Hawke's loot included a leaky bag of popcorn which led police, kernel-by-kernel, to his house, next door to the scene of the crime.

Armed and Idiotic
A Thai man was arrested in Bangkok in November 1994 and charged with impersonating a police officer. Using a stolen uniform, he had spent two months posing as a traffic cop in order to extort money from motorists. The trickster finally came unstuck when a senior officer passed by on an inspection tour and he saluted with the wrong hand.

Exercising Their Freedom
In February 1995, prison guards in Calaya were lambasted after six inmates escaped during fitness sessions in the exercise yard. The convicts apparently bounced over the wall using a trampoline.

Fuzzy Logic
In December 1995, Scott Plumley was told by authorities in Pensacola, Florida, that they couldn't shut down neighborhood drug dealers because they lacked evidence. Plumley went down the street, bought a $4 bag of marijuana and called sheriff's deputies to collect the evidence. Instead they arrested him and left him facing a year in jail. "It is illegal to buy drugs for whatever reason," said a police spokesman.

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?
When Elizabeth Howell Boykins, 25, returned to her apartment in Charleston, South Carolina, after a weekend trip in July 1990, she found another woman living there, and wearing her clothes. The intruder greeted Ms. Boykins, took her luggage, and slammed the door in her face.
"I thought I was going crazy," said Ms. Boykins. "The woman took all of my paintings off the walls, and bought a new lamp and a shower curtain and rug for the bathroom."
The police were called, but the stranger insisted it was her apartment. She gave herself away when she misidentified the owner of the apartment building and said that John Wayne was taking her to dinner. She was detained for psychiatric evaluation.

Marching to a Different Beat
In New Zealand, we have the 21-year-old Muppet fan who took a radio station manager hostage in March 1996, because he wanted to hear a song by Kermit the Frog. In fact, he wanted to hear the song Rainbow Connection played non-stop for 12 hours. Police cordoned off the station in Wanganui and evacuated several buildings, when the man said he had a bomb. When the bomb was later found to be fake, the cops stormed the station and arrested him.

Dressed for Success Bob Briggs, 24, owner of a Domino's Pizza restaurant in Independence, Missouri, dressed as a giant red rabbit and stood in the road to attract business. In August 1991, he was knocked unconscious by Bobo the Clown, who was promoting a Pizza Hut across the road. Briggs declined to press charges, which is perhaps unfortunate as it would have made an interesting court case.
 
[SIZE=+1]The title of the World's Stupidest Criminals goes out to two Modesto, CA men who tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine and their bumper still attached to the chain.

Little did they know their vehicle's license plate was still attached to the bumper.
[/SIZE]

dumbcriminal.gif
 
Would they even Know how to Use a Gun. They would probably Shoot themselves in the foot....They stuff everything else up
 

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids)




You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like

sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the

chips and dip coming.

Alan, age 10



No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry.

God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're

stuck with.

Kristen, age 10





WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?


Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.

Camille, age 10





HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?


You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the

same kids.

Derrick, age 8





WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?


Both don't want any more kids.

Lori, age 8





WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?


Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each

other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.

Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)





On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets

them interested enough to go for a second date.

Martin, age 10



WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?


I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers

and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.

Craig, age 9



WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

When they're rich.

Pam, age 7



The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with

that.

Curt, age 7



The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them

and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.

Howard, age 8





IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to

clean up after them.

Anita, age 9 (bless you child)



HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?


There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?

Kelvin, age 8





And the #1 Favourite is........

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?


Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.

Ricky, age 10
 

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Seeing this thread seems to have no purpose, i will tell you im leaving for Vietnam tomorrow morning and wont be active for a week and a bit. Hope the bombers have a win and we get some great signs in the VFL!

Go the dons!!!
 
i have put a thread on the sugestions board to get one going as a sub forum... so we can have heaps of off field /out of season topics... this thread is good but we need a sub forum... so we can talk heaps of diff threads and subjects...

and yes... we should call it the hanger... good thinking..

and i would also like a player watch type of thing as a sub forum.... so we can talk about i single player in each thread.... geelong has one and i like it so why not...

anyone in on this..... if so post yes or no here... the more ppl we get the more chance there is of getting it
 

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