Media TiFmedia Sweet FA Power Rankings - Season 37

[TheInjuryFactory]

TiFmedia Sweet FA Power Rankings - Season 37

Yes welcome back Ladies & Gentlemen to the TiFmedia Sweet FA Power Rankings for yet another season as promised of deep analytical analysis as we once again crunch the numbers and employ critical thought and possibly even some light string theory (and some other shit you probably wouldn't even understand but just know that I'm doing that, and heaps of it, whatever it is) over the Sweet FA landscape as we assess every facet of every player and club across the league to identify precisely who's moving and just who's shaking in Season 37.

The TiFmedia algorithm has been hard at work over the off season let me tell you, and has been fastidiously crunching the numbers these past few weeks to give us the hot off the press, definitive Sweet FA Power Rankings for each club's outlook in Season 37.

But don't just take my word for it, here's what some of the Sweet FA's biggest names and Tandy had to say last season...​

Great work as always, TiF.

Well atleast we didn’t come last.

Well written TIF. Great acknowledgement of tony too. Up the bears

My favorite serious media this season, subscribed.

Agreed - very good.

Gotta hand it to you @TheInjuryFactory

I'm just happy to be an up and comer again

TOTY @TheInjuryFactory and very likely incorporating MOTY in one objective package.
Bravo

So as you have no doubt come to love and admire our complex, state of the art algorithm which tells no lies and leaves nowhere to hide for clubs and players alike, you would now know that we have accurately assessed the quantitative & qualitative value of each club, and applied our patented, real-time Power Ranking for each based on every element of this fearsome, unforgiving competition.

From posting prowess, to leadership, recruitment growth and sustainability to identifying their current long term Qooty form, the TiFmedia Sweet FA Power Rankings are the much anticipated answer to the question of which clubs are thriving, who is surviving and who is absolutely battling to string a coherent sentence together and put it together on the park to boot.

THIS is the only Sweet FA Power Rankings worth consulting for Season 37.

(Unless nahnah does his of course. I always do quite well in that one. Big fan.)

As always... If you disagree with the algorithm, you are wrong.​

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

TiFmedia Sweet FA Power Rankings - End of Season 36

Here's last season's final standings for those playing at home.

​

Media - TiFmedia Sweet FA Power Rankings - Season 36

TiFmedia Sweet FA Power Rankings Season 36 (Yes, I never bloody learn. Here's this season's high effort, low reward club assessing media piece I pump out every f**king season to varying levels of completion. Will i finish it? Your guess is as good as mine) Yes welcome back ladies & Gentlemen...

www.bigfooty.com

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

Season 37 Rankings

#3 - Dragons FFC
#4 - Gumbies FFC
#5 - Ophidian Old Boys
#6 - Baghdad Bombers
#7 - Las Vegas Bears
#8 - Fighting Furies
#9 - West Coast Wonders
#10 - Sin City Swamprats
#11 - East Side Hawks
#12 - Roys FFC
#13 - Gold City Royals ​

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

​

#13 - Gold City Royals

6 months is a looooong time in Qooty.

This time last season, we were gushing about a Royals side sitting at #4 in the rankings coming off a top four finish and a home Prelim final as the next generation at Gold City looked bright having seen a number of their S30 premiership squad move on in recent seasons or hang up the boots. Yet S36 was a particularly challenging one in Gold City, as Cadsky and friends find themselves in dead last to kick off the Season 37 TiFmedia Power Rankings after an annus horribilis, or in layman's terms, horrible anuses. Or anii? Or anus'? Anyway, whatever is the plural of anus, well these guys just had it.

Basically, the Golden Throne is a little less Golden this season, in fact it's not gold at all... it's porcelain. And the Throne? Well it's a throne only in the sense of an 80s Dad announcing loudly he's off to read the paper on 'the throne' which was what he replaced the affectionate term 'crapper' with when he was was about to unleash an unholy destroyation on the solitary family toilet and was feeling a little bit fancy and full of whimsy.

Down 6 places to #10 at the end of Season 36, with a season that saw them only narrowly miss out on a wooden spoon courtesy of the woeful Phoenix and a horror 6 game losing streak at the Eyrie pipping them for the worst win/loss record in the comp in the last round, and the Old Boys' sheer incompetence to manage anything beyond flapping their gums. They've slid even further leading into S37 after key figures at the club failed to fire in S36, and the club hierarchy taking the speculative route with recruitment with just the one known entity recruited in Zevon from the Roys (A good pick up it must be said), the rest of the cavalry being a handful of rookies who at this stage are completely unknown qualities and a couple of journeymen vets speak to a rebuild in full swing.

​

OFF SEASON AT A GLANCE...
Notable Moves

IN:
Zevon
via Roys FFC

OUT:
Nil

Yes, I know the Royals recruited a couple of known entities in Footypie32 & Jhye Clark 13 and both, when up and about, will no doubt bolster a squad in desperate need of some elder statesmen after the losses of spookism, The Filth Wizard, Kennedy Parker, PMBangers et al in recent seasons. However Zevon is certainly the sole headliner here, and at least comes in with some exposed top end form as he leaves a Roys outfit who will be bitterly disappointed to see him go after looking for a long time like the natural successor to the late TedDougChris (you're late mate, where are you? Season's started).

Has Brenton Davy worked out after coming across from the Wonders? Jury's probably still out on that one, those internally would have a better idea but he certainly hasn't made the splash we might have expected at a new club. Is nahnah back? For Cadsky's sake I hope so, has been sporadic at best last season and in top flight has carried the club in recent times along with the ever reliable CakeEater & GreyCrow. hotchilli & grumbleguts seemed to have had nearly seasons in S36 but both are solid clubmen. I'm just listing names now at this point aren't I? Smartys Power is good for a laugh, SarahSmiles is still on a list, wow, I didn't realise until now.

They need more. More consistency, more nahnah, more rookies taking the next step, more Roys up and comers (but the Roys seem to have run out of those now)

Spared the shame of a moral wooden spoon by the Phoenix, they even very nearly succeeded in beating the Old Boys to it despite a 10 point handicap due to their extensive rap sheet at Spotswood. Only a plucky 5 point win against their run of form against the Warriors saw them scrape through to 20 points for the season, mere percentage better than the Phoenix and just two points to the good of the Ophidians who finished on 18 points and a deserved spoon. So when you combine the Royals' terrible Qooty with their list challenges and a light on recruitment phase in the off season and this consigns them to bottom place in the TiFmedia Power Rankings to kick off Season 37.

At least they look to be on the up after the first month of Qooty in S37, as they sit middle of the pack with a 2-2 record as we go to print. Let's hope it's a return to their early S30s form and it gives the club something to rally around as Cadsky has proven before to be a sound leader and capable of rebuilding a club, but no doubt needs some results to go their way in order to entice the glory hunter types who might be wooed by the promise of a key position post.

Individually, the Royals fared little better than they did as a collective. Spearhead grumbleguts finished an also ran in the Fred race in 11th place, with Membling managing slightly better in the Mobbs Medal in equal 7th on 15 votes. The All-SFA side was sans Royal, a stark contrast against 3 selections in Season 35. beez Trophy wise, the Royals failed to secure a spot in the top 20, with captain Cadsky coming in at 22nd overall. In fact, he would be their only selection inside the top 50. Overall the club finished 12th in the league for total beez votes.

I said a similar thing about the Phoenix last season, and while on paper the squad looks better than they performed in S36 and could very well enjoy the deadcat bounce, there's still plenty of opportunity for players seeking a change and/or personal glory at the Golden Throne, and Cadsky has a great opportunity to do it all over again having had some success in this situation while at the Wonders.

I like these guys, I do, but the algorithm gon' algorithm.

Time will tell I guess.

 

[Cadsky]

It took a lot of my life to read all of that

 

[T2B_]

It took a lot of my life to read all of that

It's the first step to recovery.

 

[DragoDelph]

It took a lot of my life to read all of that

TLDR: tif thinks you guys suck.

But not the good kind. The stick vacuum from wish kind.

 

[CakeEater]

Ho Hum, let me guess TheInjuryFactory will rank the Warriors number 1.

then probably the dragons as posting endless dragon gifs is the height of engagement..................

 

[Tonga Bob]

TLDR: tif thinks you guys suck.

But not the good kind. The stick vacuum from wish kind.

Isn't that just a literal stick?

 

[DragoDelph]

Isn't that just a literal stick?

No, there's still some suction. It's just terribly disappointing.

 

[Tonga Bob]

No, there's still some suction. It's just terribly disappointing.

Got ya. So just like CakeEater then.

Ho Hum, let me guess TheInjuryFactory will rank the Warriors number 1.

then probably the dragons as posting endless dragon gifs is the height of engagement..................

Oh sh*t, sorry mate didn't see you there. Boy is there egg on my face!

 

[CakeEater]

Got ya. So just like CakeEater then.


Oh sh*t, sorry mate didn't see you there. Boy is there egg on my face!

Dare i say it, on this occasion your engagement isnt all its cracked up to be then?

 

[Tonga Bob]

Dare i say it, on this occasion your engagement isnt all its cracked up to be then?

That's a good yolk.

 

[Supersuns]

Ho Hum, let me guess TheInjuryFactory will rank the Warriors number 1.

then probably the dragons as posting endless dragon gifs is the height of engagement..................

 

[DragoDelph]

Imagine being upset about something that was optional, that wasn't part of a match thread, and was to celebrate a legend?

 

[Cadsky]

Ho Hum, let me guess TheInjuryFactory will rank the Warriors number 1.

then probably the dragons as posting endless dragon gifs is the height of engagement..................

Probably the Wonders for their animal videos

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

Ho Hum, let me guess TheInjuryFactory will rank the Warriors number 1.

then probably the dragons as posting endless dragon gifs is the height of engagement..................

Probably the Wonders for their animal videos

Finished equal last on wins fellas, had no All-SFA selections and one top ten finish in any of the awards. No one in the top 20 of the beez.

Algorithm hasn't got much to work with I'm afraid.

 

[Cadsky]

Finished equal last on wins fellas, had no All-SFA selections and one top ten finish in any of the awards. No one in the top 20 of the beez.

Algorithm hasn't got much to work with I'm afraid.

Don't let your blind facts get in the way mate

 

[AnUltimateRessie]

It took a lot of my life to read all of that

idk I read something about Brenton Davy being bad or something along the lines and just liked the post. That's all I needed.

 

[Brenton Davy]

​

Has Brenton Davy worked out after coming across from the Wonders? Jury's probably still out on that one, those internally would have a better idea but he certainly hasn't made the splash we might have expected at a new club.

Joint B ‘n F would suggest otherwise…

 

[Cadsky]

Joint B ‘n F would suggest otherwise…

Mate, this is no place for facts. You're going to hurt TIF's feelings.

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

Joint B ‘n F would suggest otherwise…

Mate, this is no place for facts. You're going to hurt TIF's feelings.

 

[AnUltimateRessie]

I can't wait to get unnecessarily angry at 'the algorithm' when the Wonders are listed as anything but #1

 

[Brenton Davy]

Mate, this is no place for facts. You're going to hurt TIF's feelings.

Hurt feelings ratio to username does not compute

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

​

#12 - Roys FFC

Next cab off the rank in the TiFmedia Power Rankings in 12th spot we find the Roys who like the Royals enjoyed a charmed run of success in the early S30s culminating in a famous fairytale premiership in S33, but now the gorillas also find themselves right in the midst of a rebuilding phase of their own.

Premiership heroes Dingster and Wosh have long since moved on, while even the bit part bench warmer types like zackah have emptied their lockers at the BJO post flag. But the greatest void the Roys will need to fill heading into S37 is that of their equal longest serving skipper in club history, TedDougChris after his shock retirement from the game. The saving grace of course being the return of prodigal daddy 'rilla and talisman Mobbs, who returned from an expansion dalliance just in time to pick up the reigns after TDC's hasty and what seemed a quite unexpected exit, but he finds the club's cupboard far poorer than when he left in the afterglow of that glorious premiership.

TDC will be sorely missed by the Roys and the league at large, but in Mobbs we trust.

​

OFF SEASON AT A GLANCE...
Notable Moves

IN:
Nil

OUT:
TedDougChris
Retired

Zevon
To Gold City Royals

Elmer_Judd
Account fired into the sun


It was a summer of surprises at the BJO. But not of the Under Siege: 'Erika Eleniak in a cake' variety. More of the Billy Madison, burning bag of dog shit on your stoop kind unfortunately. Losing TDC has been covered and while it certainly wasn't on many people's S37 bingo card externally, one hopes the Roys had a bit of a heads up it was coming and Mobbs has the support around him internally he will need to rebolster the stocks. The loss of Zevon though is surely a body blow, as from the outside I think many would have had him collared for next in line to finally relieve TDC of his captaincy and allow him a well earned breather. However the lure of a change of scenery to assist Cadsky and co at the Golden Throne was clearly too much to ignore, despite the Roys well and truly requiring his services for S37. Elmer_Judd's comical Icarus moment just tops it off in the end, as the clubman while an acquired taste does/did (rather staggeringly) boast 2 All-SFA berths to their name so the kid can/could play.

But now he can't.

It does look like Mobbs has hit the phones though, as he has called in some favours with the cavalry arriving in the form of several returning players of the unknown quantity variety. A scene I imagine looked quite similar to Matt Damon in Air, as they were using actual rotary phones in that. And that's the nostalgic vision of Mobbs in my head that I like to imagine from time to time. Also, in that analogy that possibly makes Elton Johns Wig by proxy Affleck's Phil Knight? Which again brings a satisfying smirk to my face and makes me feel safe and warm.

On field it was a 50/50 season. Well, more of a 42.9/57.1 season as they finished with a 6 win, 8 loss record to finish Season 36. While we're on percentages, despite a superior percentage, the Roys would agonisingly fall short of a finals berth to the Dees courtesy of the Mount Buller outfit's draw with the Bears and a 3 game losing streak to end the season. A situation I am almost certain that Mobbs had a bespoke meme ready for and which no doubt brought him much mirth at the time.

It was a mixed bag individually, as perennial top flight spearhead Mooch's 54 goals saw him finish on the podium in the battle for the Fred Medal. tigs2010 just squeaked in to the top 10 in the Mobbs Medal with 13 votes in a reasonable effort for a side missing the finals. But again, like the Royals the Roys failed to register a single selection in the All-SFA side at season's end, and only Mobbs (35th) and TedDougChris (37th) managed a top 50 finish for the club.

This time last season I finished crying out for a someone to relieve TedDougChris, but this season I think it's more a case of a few established hands considering a move to the BJO mid season or next to give Mobbs a chop out, or at least a hand with some teamsheets!!