Bluemour Season Blast Off Edition XXXIII

[katmanblue]

Bloomers, pretty sure.

Knickerbockers

On SM-F926B using BigFooty.com mobile app

 

[ESKIE]

He looks like Selwood

 

[TJohn]

He looks like Selwood

Heh Heh. Act’s like him, too. “I’m gunna die cos this bloke’s tryin’ to rip my Head Clean Orf My Shoulders”. Oh, Wait. I’m OK now, Play on”.

 

[teagueyubeauty]

Fk yeah baby, Weiterbot internal programming scan came up100% clear


Sent from my iPhone using BigFooty.com

Urghhh, reboot needed


Sent from my iPhone using BigFooty.com

 

[TJohn]

Had to put up with a sales rep today in me truck for a couple of hours, got to talkin footy. He’s a Weagle, got a mate high up at the Filth. Reckon’s Mcstay already signed up. Might put that on the Rumour File, too. Heh Heh.

 

[Wickzki]

Had to put up with a sales rep today in me truck for a couple of hours, got to talkin footy. He’s a Weagle, got a mate high up at the Filth. Reckon’s Mcstay already signed up. Might put that on the Rumour File, too. Heh Heh.

Not surprised. Was heavily linked a month or so ago now. A few here had posted about it.

 

[TD2010]

Had to put up with a sales rep today in me truck for a couple of hours, got to talkin footy. He’s a Weagle, got a mate high up at the Filth. Reckon’s Mcstay already signed up. Might put that on the Rumour File, too. Heh Heh.

I heard something similar about Petracca going there last year....
They love talking up their powers of attraction

 

[TJohn]

Not surprised. Was heavily linked a month or so ago now. A few here had posted about it.

Wait. What? I’m not the first? Slink’s into the Shadows.

 

[ferrisb]

Visualise this...Ferris there in the control tower cracking joke after joke whilst total chaos on the run way and taxiway....meanwhile thy stuck in airplane waiting half a day for takeoff.

 

[Accidental genius]

View attachment 1436604

I reckon you'd fit right in with the ground crew too........hahaha

Remember, it takes a uni degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one, but never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'Gripe Sheet' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute Descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious..

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last..................
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

 

[Arr0w]

I reckon you'd fit right in with the ground crew too........hahaha

Remember, it takes a uni degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one, but never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'Gripe Sheet' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute Descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious..

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last..................
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

Deadset classic

 

[thylacine60]

I reckon you'd fit right in with the ground crew too........hahaha

Remember, it takes a uni degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one, but never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'Gripe Sheet' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute Descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious..

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last..................
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

Inb4 Magruder claims original gags by Wright Brothers.

 

[GT619]

View attachment 1435507

 

[ferrisb]

I reckon you'd fit right in with the ground crew too........hahaha

Remember, it takes a uni degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one, but never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'Gripe Sheet' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute Descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious..

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last..................
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

I used to develop complex financial models to value companies and then write research reports.

My favourite part of the job was once I had completed the report... Coming up with a pun to squeeze into the report headline. (yeah, no surprises there).

One of my faves was AMP Limited back in ~2007. The stock had just broken through $10 and everyone was bullish. I wasn't a fan, so I titled it 'This AMP isn't going to 11'.

I reckon my readers either had no idea or didn't care. But I loved it, and that's all that mattered

 

[ferrisb]

PS give me my f'ing hammer back!!!

 

[ferrisb]

People pick through rumours and choose what they will believe from the whole quote - 'i'll believe this because it sounds good but i wont believe this because it doesnt sound good'.....

surely you trust all the quote or dont trust any of it....

Its a bit like quoting the media:
1. person says something bad about the blues - 'that guy is an idiot and hates us'
2. Same person says something good about the blues - 'this guy said this, he is so right'

A bit like the umpiring:
1. Miss a free kick to the blues - 'this umpire hates us, always tries to get the other team to win'
2. Same umpire misses a free for the opposition - donuts

This is an amazing post.

Well... half of it, anyway...

 

[sosos]

And "My AMP does go to 11"

 

[myblueroan]

And "My AMP does go to 11"

Too much bloody persepective.

 

[Lace_Out]

I reckon you'd fit right in with the ground crew too........hahaha

Remember, it takes a uni degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one, but never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'Gripe Sheet' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute Descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious..

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last..................
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

There's some gold in there

If I had to pick one as my favourite it would be:

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed



Sent from my SM-G988B using Tapatalk

 

[Gethelred]

There's some gold in there

If I had to pick one as my favourite it would be:

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed



Sent from my SM-G988B using Tapatalk

I'm partial to

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

 

[Bletch]

Inb4 Magruder claims original gags by Wright Brothers.

It's a classic, for sure. Reckon I saw it in email pre-web days. Bit like:

The Plan

In the beginning, there was a plan,
And then came the assumptions,
And the assumptions were without form,
And the plan without substance,

And the darkness was upon the face of the workers,
And they spoke among themselves saying,
"It is a crock of shit and it stinks."

And the workers went unto their Supervisors and said,
"It is a pile of dung, and we cannot live with the smell."

And the Supervisors went unto their Managers saying,
"It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong,
Such that none may abide by it."

And the Managers went unto their Directors saying,
"It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide by its strength."

And the Directors spoke among themselves saying to one another,
"It contains that which aids plants growth, and it is very strong."

And the Directors went to the Vice Presidents saying unto them,
"It promotes growth, and it is very powerful."

And the Vice Presidents went to the President, saying unto him,
"This new plan will actively promote the growth and vigor
Of the company With very powerful effects."

And the President looked upon the Plan
And saw that it was good,
And the Plan became Policy.

And this, my friend, is how shit happens.​

 

[thylacine60]

ok

 

[Arr0w]

Fisher extending by another 2 years, great news

 

[carlton_99]

Fisher extending by another 2 years, great news

Our most improved player imo in 2022. Fantastic news!

 

[carlton_99]

Best media team in the comp...