Past #1: Majak Daw [Part II] - 54 NM games/43 NM goals - delisted end '20 - SSP selection for MFC '21 - retired mid-'22

[bananatigz]

I’d just like to add to the many others in wishing Majak all the very best, hit me harder than I realised when I was awake in the middle of the night thinking about him.

So many of us are able to empathise with his struggle and I wish nothing more than him to get to a point where he is healthy and content, both physically and mentally.

Hope to one day run into him on the street, be able to shake his hand and let him know what an inspiration he will continue to be, not only for the Sudanese community but our wider society at large.

 

[RobZombie]

*sigh* I know Kennett will be the first one to find a way to rort it but for once I don’t care. Just do player welfare outside the FD soft cap.

 

[miss_kate18]

Yes, material success is obviously a big part of it, and it comes to successful sportspeople, but I chose the examples of on-field and relationship successes deliberately. Your point is well made. It's the compounding unhappiness and guilt that people can pile on themselves that spirals out of control, as miss_kate18 put it so well.

The other issue is that people’s well-meaning platitudes can actually do more harm despite it not being their intention at all. Someone who has never been suicidal might say to a depressed person “You have so much to live for, think of your family”. The depressed person doesn’t think that ending their own life will negatively impact upon others - your state of mind becomes, everyone will be better off when I’m gone because they won’t have to deal with me. Reminding a person of their family, successes etc can actually backfire.

In addition, as much as depression and mental illness are becoming more widely understood in the general public, there is still a huge stigma about suicide. People who attempt successfully get called selfish because of the hurt suffered by those left behind. People who attempt unsuccessfully get told it was a “cry for attention” which basically reduces your struggle to a teenager drawing cut marks on their arms with red pen. People question your judgment and your ability to think rationally years after the event, because hey, you’re that person who attempted suicide, as if you’re capable of rational thought.

The very scary thing, and something I’d emphasise for all sufferers of depression who might read this, is that you never know when it might hit you again and it’s so important to stay vigilant about mental wellbeing. It’s also critical that loved ones of people struggling with mental illness seek their own support and don’t try so hard to be strong that they themselves fall apart. If you know someone who has been affected by this news, or you know Majak himself, don’t feel like you need to have all the answers. Just listen. Sometimes all a person needs to hear is “I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It ****ing sucks”.

 

[Val Keating]

Jeez, I re-read this from Goldy in a new light

https://www.foxsports.com.au/afl/it...k/news-story/9a5ee0289f9b491f43ec018c838a8850

I was pretty critical of Goldy during his form slump, on the Sternlook podcast no less. I felt like a piece of shit when I learned what he was going through. I said something like, yeah he’s having family issues but he’s paid to preform so he should just suck it up and preform (I knew he’d split with his mrs but not the demons he was dealing with). Which is pretty rich coming from me. I fell apart in 2014, not depression but panic disorder, that lead to me leaving a very well paid job in construction and it completely turned my family life upside down.

Have nothing but respect for Goldy. It also taught me to not judge people.

 

[Deddy]

I remember meeting Maj at a family day in 2010(or maybe 2011) as a little fella. My mum tells me that I was in absolute awe of him and always says how (even then as a kid) he was humble and had plenty of time for everyone. Watching him grow into the community leading, inspiration he has become has been a privilege. I’ve lost count of the amount of stories I’ve heard of acts of compassion and kindness performed by our Maj.

It’s deeply saddening how the people that are always worrying about the happiness of others often neglect their own.

You’re a beautiful day person Maj and I hope you get the help, love and support you need. My thoughts and prayers are with you now and will be throughout your battle to recovery.

I also hope Maj’s family and friends get the support they need. My mum’s partner committed suicide last year and I’ve seen the impact it can have on friends and family firsthand. It’s important that the support is ongoing because I know in my mum’s case it’s something she struggles with continually and likely will for a very long time. I know Maj and his family will be dealing with this for a long, long time but there is no better Football Club or community than North Melbourne to nurture Majak, the Daw’s and everyone impacted through this dark and difficult time.

I hope anyone on here reading this that is struggling finds the courage to seek help, be it a friend, family members, a professional, a call to lifeline or however. I’m also a PM away if anyone needs someone to listen.

 

[gokangas]

All of this is true, yet who among us has not spent the past 24 hours reading articles, tuning in to club press conferences or just returning here to Big Footy to try to understand what happened and why? The media may well be vultures but they are feeding a monster. And that monster is us.

Worked in the media all of my life and have seen the good, the bad and the ugly. At the end of the day this is a massive news story. Maj is a big public figure. All the media owe anyone is the truth. Sensitivity? Sure. Understand that, but it is big news. There won't be journos dressed as nurses trying to get to him. There won't be photographers hanging out of tress trying to get a pic through the hospital window. Sometimes journos and paps go too far - the industry is not perfect but in most cases the media will respect the level of privacy requested.

 

[kangaspurs]

Worked in the media all of my life and have seen the good, the bad and the ugly. At the end of the day this is a massive news story. Maj is a big public figure. All the media owe anyone is the truth. Sensitivity? Sure. Understand that, but it is big news. There won't be journos dressed as nurses trying to get to him. There won't be photographers hanging out of tress trying to get a pic through the hospital window. Sometimes journos and paps go too far - the industry is not perfect but in most cases the media will respect the level of privacy requested.

Agreed that it's big news, but IMO it's not in the public interest to detail his history of self-harm and the personal events leading up to the tragedy. Those sorts of things should be left for Maj to reveal on his own terms.

 

[DarkPhoenix]

Actually, as I was typing that I got a response:

"Thank You mate. I made it about 20 messages in and started bawling. These are amazing and the support is tremendous. I will be passing all these on when he's ready. Say Thank You to all those amazing people from me him and his whole family. The love shown is just amazing".

Thanks for doing this mate, super appreciated.

Anything as fans we can do to make Maj feel the love, we will do.

 

[Groin guru]

It should be fully funded by the afl, not the clubs.

Exactly. As i said yesterday this should be a gesture by the AFL. Some clubs may not be able to afford full-time staff so the billion dollar machine should show it cares by having 1 full timer working at each club (independent of the AFL too, don't trust them to collect info on players).

 

[ferball]

Seems I guessed wrong

Good on you for giving a fellow human the benefit of the doubt tho.

That's still a great thing to do.

 

[ferball]

That Knight cartoon is exceptional for a supposed 'racist'.

Its ****en bullshit mate.

 

[Nate7]

Its ****en bullshit mate.

Dare I ask what he drew?

 

[Groin guru]

People who attempt unsuccessfully get told it was a “cry for attention” which basically reduces your struggle to a teenager drawing cut marks on their arms with red pen.

That's a very good point. I'm sure people think about that and if anything pushes them more towards doing it or afterwards trying again. That's a terrible thought.

One of the first things my mum said to me when my dad almost did it was "it was very selfish of him. What would I do?".

 

[gokangas]

Agreed that it's big news, but IMO it's not in the public interest to detail his history of self-harm and the personal events leading up to the tragedy. Those sorts of things should be left for Maj to reveal on his own terms.

Don't disagree but we also don't know where the info is coming from. I haven't seen the Australian article. Often these stories are sourced from the families and is info they want out there for whatever reason (not saying this is as I don't know) but it is easy to take a swipe at the media. In most cases they are just reporting the truth. Do they sensationalise stories? yep, sometimes. Do they exaggerate? Yep, sometimes. Do they lie? Rarely!

 

[shintemaster]

I’d just like to add to the many others in wishing Majak all the very best, hit me harder than I realised when I was awake in the middle of the night thinking about him.

Same.

I don't want to make this about us on here but I for one am glad other people are sharing their experiences with this because this has affected me more than I might have expected. Thanks to all those that have been brave enough to share their thoughts from the other side of this. Personally I find it helpful to try and understand what Maj is going through as well as his family and friends.

I don't want to intrude on their privacy but we - as a group - need to take the time to look out for each other and the team as a whole. Can't imagine how tough it would be for everyone. Guess we all just need to be here and ready to help in whatever way we can if need be.

 

[Groin guru]

Don't disagree but we also don't know where the info is coming from. I haven't seen the Australian article. Often these stories are sourced from the families and is info they want out there for whatever reason (not saying this is as I don't know) but it is easy to take a swipe at the media. In most cases they are just reporting the truth. Do they sensationalise stories? yep, sometimes. Do they exaggerate? Yep, sometimes. Do they lie? Rarely!

 

[Contra Mundum]

Exactly. As i said yesterday this should be a gesture by the AFL. Some clubs may not be able to afford full-time staff so the billion dollar machine should show it cares by having 1 full timer working at each club (independent of the AFL too, don't trust them to collect info on players).

Heard Schwatta on SEN - its amazing that welfare officers are the ones that deal with these issues. They need a Psychiatrist at each club or a least a Psychologist.

 

[Billy Not Really]

FWIW, I hope no one seeks to make him a poster boy for anything from now on, and that he can recede back in to some type of "normality" in peace and gain the grounding that he clearly needs in order to move on with his life.

Wholeheartedly agree, I think having that much of a burden to be this constant perfect person as a representative for his community is just a tax on his mental health. It would be on anybody, he simply can't screw up, its too much pressure on him when footy as a career is already too much pressure.

The media and groups of interest need to stop taking advantage of someones good will just because of their skin color or where they come from, its not fair on that individual. I wouldn't envy Majaks position at all, it'd be too much and I'd just feel taken advantage of.

 

[Jughead77]

Hi fellas, hope you don't mind me sharing my story. In 1998 i had the misfortune of driving over the West Gate as a middle aged man was about to take his own life. Myself and another driver tried in vain to persuade him not to jump. He plunged 40m off the bridge. Fortunately(or unfortunately depending on how you see it) he survived. The water was shallow where he jumped and he got stuck in the mud. He suffered spinal injuries as well as various broken bones. I remember speaking to emergency officers at the time who told me that there was usually an attempt every week or fortnight. I am reminded of that incident every time i drive over the bridge, every time i battle my own demons and especially so given what has happened to Majak.

While i am deeply saddened that he got to that point, my overwhelming emotion is one of relief. Relief that he is alive, relief that his physical injuries were not more severe, relief that he has the best medical staff and support behind him to overcome the trauma (mental and physical).

Get well soon Majak. We are all pulling for you son.

 

[Hearts to hearts]

All of this is true, yet who among us has not spent the past 24 hours reading articles, tuning in to club press conferences or just returning here to Big Footy to try to understand what happened and why? The media may well be vultures but they are feeding a monster. And that monster is us.

I haven’t. I am holidaying in Singapore and it has meant a lot to come on here and share grief and confusion with all of you, but I have no interest in what any news outlet has to “reveal”. I’ve been reading about the guidelines for reporting this kind of news and a lot of outlets have just ignored them.

 

[ferball]

Dare I ask what he drew?

Its Groin Guru's avatar below the post you quoted.

Its a noble sentiment, if it was on its own, but no one was there to hold him up and the media outlet it was published in does the ****en opposite of the image.

Its a lie.

Blood sucking media vampires should **** off.

 

[Samsquanch]

Lovely message mate.

I just wanted to communicate to everybody I've been afforded the opportunity to talk today to somebody close to Majak and in the group at hospital with him. I'm not going to be asking any deeper questions as to how he is as I'm very keen to protect Majak's privacy and not pry, however I can say that a lot of your messages over the last couple of days have been compiled and forwarded across in the belief that he will have a chance to read the supportive and heartfelt messages from not only the North board posters but opposition posters that have all stepped in to comment. Yours got in just in time Leo.

We hope that kind of support will provide a spark of encouragement to help with Majak's recovery. Thanks on behalf of us who post here, plus the many more who don't, but who also want to see him back on his feet, both physically and mentally.

Even from the first few games he played, as raw as he was Maj gave us a glimpse of the future. He has done enough of the heavy lifting. I have no doubt that the AFL clubs will all be looking at young athletes from all backgrounds over the next few years, instead of being scrutinized to the n'th degree because of where they came from or the colour of their skin, the followers will see and cheer (or jeer) them for their ability, actions and influence on the field.

Our hearts are with you Majak. You carried that #1 Guernsey wonderfully.

 

[ferball]

Do you reckon the club/his family would be okay with fans sending a get well card for them to pass onto Maj?

I'd love to send him something just to let him know that we're all here for him and behind him in his recovery.

I'm sure the club would open and read it to ensure there is nothing that is of poor taste in it which I'm completely okay with.

You should do it i reckon.

I went in to do my membership and some shopping for the kids today. On the way i brought a card wrote something in it and gave it to the young guy who was behind the desk saying it was for Maj and to get the club to check it out and if it was appropriate and everyone was okay with it to pass it on, otherwise do whatever with it. The guy behind the desk definitely appreciated it.

I think its a good idea, i was gonna do something anyway - maybe flowers or something I didn't know - but after i read your post i brought a card. Cheers.

Maybe if you post it to the club in an open envelope so they can check it out, with a letter to the club saying its for him asking to pass it on if they think its a good idea with both in a bigger envelope then its about as careful and considerate as you can be.

 

[Jindrrk]

Lovely message mate.

I just wanted to communicate to everybody I've been afforded the opportunity to talk today to somebody close to Majak and in the group at hospital with him. I'm not going to be asking any deeper questions as to how he is as I'm very keen to protect Majak's privacy and not pry, however I can say that a lot of your messages over the last couple of days have been compiled and forwarded across in the belief that he will have a chance to read the supportive and heartfelt messages from not only the North board posters but opposition posters that have all stepped in to comment. Yours got in just in time Leo.

Nice sentiment. Good work.

 

[Sopwiths North]

It’s deeply saddening how the people that are always worrying about the happiness of others often neglect their own.

You’re a beautiful day person Maj and I hope you get the help, love and support you need. My thoughts and prayers are with you now and will be throughout your battle to recovery.

I also hope Maj’s family and friends get the support they need. My mum’s partner committed suicide last year and I’ve seen the impact it can have on friends and family firsthand. It’s important that the support is ongoing because I know in my mum’s case it’s something she struggles with continually and likely will for a very long time. I know Maj and his family will be dealing with this for a long, long time but there is no better Football Club or community than North Melbourne to nurture Majak, the Daw’s and everyone impacted through this dark and difficult time.

I hope anyone on here reading this that is struggling finds the courage to seek help, be it a friend, family members, a professional, a call to lifeline or however. I’m also a PM away if anyone needs someone to listen.

Been trying for the last 24 hours now to find words. The only thing that keeps going around in my brain is how much Maj gives. He is always giving, no matter what ever-changing circumstances life was throwing at him. I am heartbroken that he was suffering so much and that he felt so alone that he thought this was the only way out.

You are not alone Maj. And you ARE loved. So very much. It's time for the world to give back to you now. Please get well again.