Alan Jones accused of multiple sexual assaults

[Mick F]

Please no bail, make the pig be inside a jail cell tonight.

Charged when he’s practically dead. By the time his appeals are exhausted he will be. On bail in the interim.

 

[Mick F]

I don’t have understand why he would have been protected for so long though.

There have been several labor premiers of NSW and PMs. It would have been in their interests to take him down, and in the interests of his rival broadcasters.

Also unclear why none of the Balmain players ever clicked him, and why it took until last year for some of the locker room stories to surface.

PMs have zero input/influence on law enforcement and Crown prosecutors.

 

[Black Diamond]

PMs have zero input/influence on law enforcement and Crown prosecutors.

They could obviously stand up to him though.

 

[zumahawk]

This my friends is a win for the good guys.

 

[zumahawk]

Charged when he’s practically dead. By the time his appeals are exhausted he will be. On bail in the interim.

Better late than never.

 

[western royboy]

He’ll go full George Pell/Alan Bond shortly. Wheelchair, oxygen, thousand yard stare.

It is a given - for once I’d like to see the Beaks call the expert quacks to the stand and interrogate their diagnosis

 

[carltonchelsea]

Why is this in the Politics thread?

Would have thought the Crime Board.

Lead attorney for the defence-“Your Honour, it has come to our attention, that a poster going by the moniker of Festerz, a much admired and respected member of the SRP, for his unwavering dedication and commitment and contribution to reason, integrity and fact based values by the community and the majority of posters on this site, posted a thread about Alan Jones and his historical and recent paedophillic crimes, was posted on the Australian political board of the Bigfooty site.
It was duly noted and questioned by MPMonkeys, a poster of not much note to be honest, but, that this thread should have not, I REPEAT, NOT, have been posted in the Australian political board and should have found its way onto their Crimes Board, I hereby state and conclude, albeit it terse, my opening statement”.

Judge- Thumping the now extinct Blue Mountain Ash desk he sits behind, and pounds it vigorously with his weak, pale and soft hands repeatedly-“Is this true, this is OUTRAGEOUS, OUTRAGEOUS I TELLS YA, OUTRAGEOUS and OUTRAGEOUSLY OUTRAGEOUS”.
The Jury-all stand united beyond probability, striking and thumping at any given timber they can reach, chairs, the exquisite courtroom parquetry flooring, the dividing balustrades, stolen from High mountain Victorian Ash An elderly woman jurist grabs an aging jurist gentleman’s 150 year old walking cane, a familial relic handed down to the first son in his lineage, carved from ancient English Oak, a much prized artefact, she begins to chew vigorously through it with her failing false teeth with the flagrant support of the owner and the rest of the Jurors, eventually gnawing through it, hoisting it broken in two perfectly measured halves…..tossing it at the ceiling wailing, “OUTRAGEOUS” and unitedly uncontrollably virulent jurors join the chorus, “OUTRAGEOUSLY OUTRAGEOUS WE ARE”. Like a war cry from a failed Mel Gibson script about a Jewish Amazonian black leopard messiah man crucified by Jewish space lasers in Hawaii during the paleolithic era of the Biden administration.
Realising the temerity of the situation, the Prosecutors rise tall and begin to jump upon their own desk and mimic Tom Cruise, hooting and hollering like ravenous Bonobos screeching and baying for the meagre primate blood of their neighbouring chimpanzees, “OUTRAGEOUSLY OUTRAGEOUS, they took our jerbs, OUTRAGEOUS” they howl, now in need for the flesh of this progenitor of heresy from Bigfooty.
Upon witnessing the orchestra of symphonic primal screeching and howling, the families of the accusers, and accusers themselves, in a parsimonious cacophony of betrayal, leap to their feet in the gallery seats, “OUTRAGEOUSLY OUTRAGEOUS”.

Upon hearing the outrageously outrageous events occurring, Ray Hadley, Ben Fordham, and ScoMo make frantic calls to Prime Minister Anthony Albanese.
Albo, in his calculated wisdom pulls from his 3rd draw down at his home desk, Australia’s nuclear codes and 3 red buttoned activation controller, simultaneously activating dual keys with the help of his immigrant cleaner in his newly acquired premise on the North Shore cliff side Palace.
He hits 1,2,3 in harmonious style, much like his scratching and phase control from his most glorious DJ career.
Nukes rain down on Fitzroy, Brunswick, Collingwood, St.Kilda, Prahran and Melbourne central.

The Courtroom watches the destruction on closed circuit television, there is silence for a brief moment, until the squeals of joy and delight erupt and the entire courtroom all embrace in loving laughter and solidarity.
“We will never surrender to the woke movement and godless heathens, never will a Victorian be Prime Minister again, long live Sydney and the right wing conservative Liberal IPA loving paedophiles, except for Dutton, a true PAL DOG FOOD MAN OF QUEENSLAND IMPERIAL ROYAL COLONIALISM”.

And with that, peace and harmony was restored and bestowed upon us all in the Land down under.