Certified Legendary Thread Awkward Flirting Stories

Remove this Banner Ad

Status
Not open for further replies.
Doss said:
So, alcohol firmly in control, I got out the phone. I sent the longest text I've ever sent. Just basically came completely clean- I was at the point where I'd given up and, in my alcoholic stupor, no longer cared. I expected she would freak out, not reply or send a really awkward reply a couple of days later, and that not only would any chance with her be gone, but likely that even a friendship would be just too awkward.

Nope. Phone vibrates not five minutes later, saying she was glad I had come clean, and that she felt the same.
You freakin' beauty.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I'd say you did luck out. You described me almost to a tee with that story, and have copped the "no reply or send a really awkward reply a couple of days later" a couple times after "hanging out" with a girl about the same number of times as you described and got the same "this is heading to the friendzone territory" feeling.
I'm 20, almost 21 so sounds pretty similar to you.

Although I'd like to think after I got that reply from her like you did I'd be able to make the move the next date though haha.

Congrats man:thumbsu:
 
images


images


images
 

Log in to remove this ad.

The_Answer3 said:
Wow, I'm not sure whether to cheer, lol or cry
Click to expand...

Definitely 'lol at Doss' territory more than anything, especially looking back now. My indecisiveness, as much as I think it can be rationalised in the context of where I was at back then, was just painfully bad.

I got lucky, and really, most of the credit needs to go to S for putting up with it for that long. She says she was pretty sure from reasonably early on that I liked her, but that she had begun to wonder on account of my failure to take action. I on the other hand just could not 'read' her at all.

And hey, I think it does kind of fit the bill- it was definitely quite 'awkward' on my behalf, just perhaps not in the 'funny awkward' manner of most of the stories in here!
 
I was in England last year and met up with a mate (who is English). We went to the football and he's like I haven't seen my cousin (let's call her Emma) in ages, do you wanna see her for a bit. I didn't care, and I'm like whatever, I don't mind. Anyway, we pick her and her friend from their place and we end up at a local pub for a drink. My mate is like this is "Cruyff, he's Australian." She's like, in might I add, a very good Australian accent something like "Throw a shrimp on the barbie, how's Toadie from Neighbours?" Then in her normal accent "I've never fvcked an Australian before." I''m thinking errrrr okay. Her friend introduces herself (can't even remember her name, we'll call her Sarah)

So we get back to their place and my mate says we'll only stay for an hour then head back to his place etc etc, so I figured that would be that and we'd go home (I had to catch a train back to London the next morning). I am still a bit worrisome at this point because if I missed my train I'd be fvcked, it was a 43 pound ticket and I really didn't want to have to buy another one.

So we are all watching TV, my friend and Emma went to get alcohol from the local shop or something. I was left at home with Sarah (who I later found out was keen on me, I think), who was fat and not really good looking. Probably a 0 on the binary scale and maybe a 4 on the normal scale. Would possibly do if drunk. Anyway, they come back with alcohol and we all start drinking. The mood lightens up a bit and my friend asks Sarah to get her **** out. I am sitting there stunned. I don't know what exactly is happening but I am going with it. She did not care that I, a complete stranger saw them. Anyway, the evening wears on and I am eventually convicned that we'll stay the night and leave early tomorrow morning so I can make the train.

We are sitting on a three seater couch. I am on the left hand side, Emma is in the middle and Sarah is beside her and my mate is sitting on the floor. Suddenly everyone disappears (she has a 11 year old boy), mate goes upstairs and I don't know where Sally went. I'm just sitting there minding my own business and all of a sudden she macks me. It takes me by complete surprise. Now I start to think I might get a root. Anyway, everyone comes back and she plonks herself back next to me. We start holding hands, I start rubbing her thighs (she is wearing short shorts and a singlet). I have my arm around her waist and I start trying to reach down in her pants subtly. She starts to pull away, I was thinking it's fair enough as her son was in the room. The hand holding and touching continues. I grab her hand and place it near my **** on top of my jeans. She starts rubbing it over my jeans. Pulls away here and there when son's eyes start to wander. I write on my phone, "shall we walk?" She declines said question claiming they will know we're gone. Anyway, we continue making out and touching each other. I'm pretty sure I just came out and eventually said "I want to heck you." Then it starts to head south for a bit "I have my period." YOU MOTHER****ER. Determined not let to that get in the way of things, I ask her to give me a gobby somewhere. No deal.

Meanwhile, my mate has got blind drunk, with her as well. Sarah went to bed at some point. Anyway the drinking continues. And my friend suggests some strip card game. The game begins. She starts of terribly. Off come the come shorts. Then the singlet. Then the bra. ****. Great rack. Winning. My mate disappears somewhere. We make out some more and I grab her ****. She eventually falls asleep. Night over.

TL;DR. Made out with English milf, **** were out, literally, didn't root her cos she had her rags.
 
Cruyff14 said:
I was in England last year and met up with a mate (who is English). We went to the football and he's like I haven't seen my cousin (let's call her Emma) in ages, do you wanna see her for a bit. I didn't care, and I'm like whatever, I don't mind. Anyway, we pick her and her friend from their place and we end up at a local pub for a drink. My mate is like this is "Cruyff, he's Australian." She's like, in might I add, a very good Australian accent something like "Throw a shrimp on the barbie, how's Toadie from Neighbours?" Then in her normal accent "I've never fvcked an Australian before." I''m thinking errrrr okay. Her friend introduces herself (can't even remember her name, we'll call her Sarah)

So we get back to their place and my mate says we'll only stay for an hour then head back to his place etc etc, so I figured that would be that and we'd go home (I had to catch a train back to London the next morning). I am still a bit worrisome at this point because if I missed my train I'd be fvcked, it was a 43 pound ticket and I really didn't want to have to buy another one.

So we are all watching TV, my friend and Emma went to get alcohol from the local shop or something. I was left at home with Sarah (who I later found out was keen on me, I think), who was fat and not really good looking. Probably a 0 on the binary scale and maybe a 4 on the normal scale. Would possibly do if drunk. Anyway, they come back with alcohol and we all start drinking. The mood lightens up a bit and my friend asks Sarah to get her **** out. I am sitting there stunned. I don't know what exactly is happening but I am going with it. She did not care that I, a complete stranger saw them. Anyway, the evening wears on and I am eventually convicned that we'll stay the night and leave early tomorrow morning so I can make the train.

We are sitting on a three seater couch. I am on the left hand side, Emma is in the middle and Sarah is beside her and my mate is sitting on the floor. Suddenly everyone disappears (she has a 11 year old boy), mate goes upstairs and I don't know where Sally went. I'm just sitting there minding my own business and all of a sudden she macks me. It takes me by complete surprise. Now I start to think I might get a root. Anyway, everyone comes back and she plonks herself back next to me. We start holding hands, I start rubbing her thighs (she is wearing short shorts and a singlet). I have my arm around her waist and I start trying to reach down in her pants subtly. She starts to pull away, I was thinking it's fair enough as her son was in the room. The hand holding and touching continues. I grab her hand and place it near my **** on top of my jeans. She starts rubbing it over my jeans. Pulls away here and there when son's eyes start to wander. I write on my phone, "shall we walk?" She declines said question claiming they will know we're gone. Anyway, we continue making out and touching each other. I'm pretty sure I just came out and eventually said "I want to heck you." Then it starts to head south for a bit "I have my period." YOU MOTHERgoose. Determined not let to that get in the way of things, I ask her to give me a gobby somewhere. No deal.

Meanwhile, my mate has got blind drunk, with her as well. Sally went to bed at some point. Anyway the drinking continues. And my friend suggests some strip card game. The game begins. She starts of terribly. Off come the come shorts. Then the singlet. Then the bra. ****. Great rack. Winning. My mate disappears somewhere. We make out some more and I grab her ****. She eventually falls asleep. Night over.

TL;DR. Made out with English milf, **** were out, literally, didn't root her cos she had her rags.
Click to expand...
So was it Sally or Sarah??
 

(Log in to remove this ad.)

Cruyff14 said:
So we are all watching TV, my friend and Emma went to get alcohol from the local shop or something. I was left at home with Sarah (who I later found out was keen on me, I think), who was fat and not really good looking. Probably a 0 on the binary scale and maybe a 4 on the normal scale. Would possibly do if drunk. Anyway, they come back with alcohol and we all start drinking. The mood lightens up a bit and my friend asks Sarah to get her **** out. I am sitting there stunned. I don't know what exactly is happening but I am going with it. She did not care that I, a complete stranger saw them. Anyway, the evening wears on and I am eventually convicned that we'll stay the night and leave early tomorrow morning so I can make the train.
Click to expand...

At this point I was starting to think this might be a brilliant story about Cruffy rooting a fatty.

Alas it was not :(
 
LouisCK said:
Yep. to me 'S' is blone with hair down just past her shoulders, great chassis, wears tight jeans and a blue sleeveless top. Green eyes, decent rack.
Click to expand...

Blue eyes rather than green, and the hair is a brunette/blonde rather than classic blonde, but pretty much right otherwise. Fairly tall too.

Stratton_Gun said:
Yeh good story but I was wondering who the **** sally was.
and any mention of certain lady problems like that redirects the blood flow back up to the head quicker than you can say "bobs your uncle"
Click to expand...

Said it before and I'll say it again- it's really not that big a deal. Especially if you and the femme in question are familiar and comfortable, and of course if it doesn't bother her. Just put a towel down, break out the latex, and you're good to go.

Although, as I've already shared here, it can go very wrong- but that particular story is also very unlucky for my friend (the girl).
 
Doss said:
Said it before and I'll say it again- it's really not that big a deal. Especially if you and the femme in question are familiar and comfortable, and of course if it doesn't bother her. Just put a towel down, break out the latex, and you're good to go.

Although, as I've already shared here, it can go very wrong- but that particular story is also very unlucky for my friend (the girl).
Click to expand...
computer-close-hulk.gif


ewww
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Remove this Banner Ad

Similar threads

Cruyff14
Shopping Centre Stories
2 3
Replies
52
Views
1K
Ocha905
Ocha905
Frederico_WA
Games & Recreation One ... word ... story ... #1
77 78 79 80 81
Replies
2K
Views
26K
Frederico_WA
Frederico_WA

Remove this Banner Ad

Back
Top