Bay 13 Court: The People of Bay 13 vs STPer18 & Jazny

[Packedlunch]

I think you signed in under the wrong account Jaz, I was speaking to STPer18

 

[A Cut Above]

FFS.... can't log into this forum without having my eyes assaulted by a Lethality AFLX thread yet the one time I ask for him he's nowhere to be found.

 

[Starburns_]

FFS.... can't log into this forum without having my eyes assaulted by a Lethality AFLX thread yet the one time I ask for him he's nowhere to be found.

It's Sunday night too, so it's not like he has an appointment.

 

[STPer18]

FFS.... can't log into this forum without having my eyes assaulted by a Lethality AFLX thread yet the one time I ask for him he's nowhere to be found.

I'd advise that next time you have contingencies in place to avoid publicly humiliating yourself as you've managed to do so wonderfully here.

 

[A Cut Above]

I'd advise that next time you have contingencies in place to avoid publicly humiliating yourself as you've managed to do so wonderfully here.

I have other witnesses you smarmy little ferret. Don't get too comfortable because the blowtorch will be turned on you soon enough.

 

[RedVest4]

Stop derailing my court session flogs!

FFS.... can't log into this forum without having my eyes assaulted by a Lethality AFLX thread yet the one time I ask for him he's nowhere to be found.

His time is up, time to call on another witness or present more evidence

 

[William Wonka]

Its not that weird... we dont troll each other so there wouldnt be much need to go back and forth. How many interactions are there between me and Richoman Tigers?

Which one of his four accounts and his forty eliases are you referring to? Either way dozens more than with 'you' and 'STP'.
Also I know for a fact it would be a significantly higher number than it appears to be due to a certain mega thread no longer existing.

Lets look at you and Wooshette instead.
Firm friends, not trolling each other and with THOUSANDS of interactions.

Not looking good...

 

[STPer18]

I have other witnesses you smarmy little ferret. Don't get too comfortable because the blowtorch will be turned on you soon enough.

Which one of his four accounts and his forty eliases are you referring to? Either way dozens more than with 'you' and 'STP'.
Also I know for a fact it would be a significantly higher number than it appears to be due to a certain mega thread no longer existing.

Lets look at you and Wooshette instead.
Firm friends, not trolling each other and with THOUSANDS of interactions.

Not looking good...

Four pages in and not a single shred of evidence apart from a whole lot of mediocre posters and anoos-sore plonkers trying to ride the coattails of two posters that to be frank this cesspit of a forum doesn't deserve. Give it a big swing next time whackers.

 

[Jazny]

Four pages in and not a single shred of evidence apart from a whole lot of mediocre posters and anoos-sore plonkers trying to ride the coattails of two posters that to be frank this cesspit of a forum doesn't deserve. Give it a big swing next time whackers.

I think we may have trolled these Hawfies too much They are jumping at shadows now

Actual footage of A Cut Above and William Wonka

 

[Wosh]

Which one of his four accounts and his forty eliases are you referring to? Either way dozens more than with 'you' and 'STP'.
Also I know for a fact it would be a significantly higher number than it appears to be due to a certain mega thread no longer existing.

Lets look at you and Wooshette instead.
Firm friends, not trolling each other and with THOUSANDS of interactions.

Not looking good...

We share a love of Elves and gender fluidity.
Besides that I live near the beach, Jaz lives in a treehouse
I drive a mercedes, Jaz rides a bmx
I puff the occasional joint, Jaz sucks down bongs like a dustbuster on steroids
I like Led Zepplin and Pink Floyd, Jaz likes Muse and Daft Punk Yeasayer
I’ve got 12 kids to 7 fathers, Jazny is pure as the driven snow.

 

[craffles]

Get the **** out of the court room Packedlunch

 

[A Cut Above]

His time is up, time to call on another witness or present more evidence

View attachment 461150

Fine you irritating twa... erm Your Honor.



I call upon Bay13's resident self-styled music expert, Plugger35.

Plugger, its long been established in Bay13 folklore that STPer18 AKA AlterRob is a lover of Christian Rock, having admitted to liking Creed among other Jesus bands. To help establish if the identity of Altar Rob and Jazny could be the same person I'd appreciate it if you'd answer these questions for the court:

1. In your expert opinion, does Jazny strike you as someone who may possibly enjoy Christian Rock music?
2. Have you ever known Jazy to comment on musical matters or does he deliberately avoid doing so to avoid making his musical taste known to us?
3. In your estimation, should expressing fondness for Christian Rock be considered a crime against good musical taste and should Bay13 posters guilty of this grave offense be shunned and humiliated?
4. Can you list every Jack who plays for St.Kilda in order of favorite to least-favorite.

 

[Lethality]

It's Sunday night too, so it's not like he has an appointment.

But I have to prepare for tomorrow morning's.

 

[Smeg Head]

STPer18 what are your thoughts on Yeasayer?

 

[Plugger35]

Fine you irritating twa... erm Your Honor.



I call upon Bay13's resident self-styled music expert, Plugger35.

Plugger, its long been established in Bay13 folklore that STPer18 AKA AlterRob is a lover of Christian Rock, having admitted to liking Creed among other Jesus bands. To help establish if the identity of Altar Rob and Jazny could be the same person I'd appreciate it if you'd answer these questions for the court:

1. In your expert opinion, does Jazny strike you as someone who may possibly enjoy Christian Rock music?
2. Have you ever known Jazy to comment on musical matters or does he deliberately avoid doing so to avoid making his musical taste known to us?
3. In your estimation, should expressing fondness for Christian Rock be considered a crime against good musical taste and should Bay13 posters guilty of this grave offense be shunned and humiliated?
4. Can you list every Jack who plays for St.Kilda in order of favorite to least-favorite.

1. Jazny likes Muse who are almost as bad as Christian Rock music these days so it isn't beyond the realms of possibility.
2. Jazny's musical taste is quite well known to people here and in the GD song contest where it's generally considered to be not as good as mine.
3. Yes
4. I like all the St Kilda Jacks equally apart from Jack Lonie because he's a soft diving squib that reminds me of Cyril Rioli and Paul Puopolo.

 

[zackah]

This thread is making a mockery of this board. These proceedings are a ****ing joke. What kind of kangaroo court is this ?

strategy - do your best.

 

[Wosh]

STPer18 what are your thoughts on Yeasayer?

That’s the band I couldn’t think of!

 

[Lethality]

Not enough Hollywood courtroom cliches for mine. Could we please get a few of these done?

1. Judge says 'This is highly irregular'
2. Judge says 'I'll allow it, but make sure this goes somewhere'
3. Surprise witnesses. Porked04 or Alfred would be dramatic returns.
4. Lawyer has a dramatic pause before a lateral change of strategy
5. A jury of some kind

 

[Lethality]

Denizens of the Bay,

We live in a society where our courts operate under the presumption of innocence. However, Bay13 exists outside that system. Here guilt is always presumed and "the vibe" is enough to constitute rock-solid evidence.

With that in mind, it goes without saying that Jazny & STPer18 (AKA Alter Rob) are GUILTY of being the same person and liking his own posts. This trial is a sham and is completely unnecessary, all that's needed to discover the truth is a poll to decide the outcome - let the Bay decide I say!

However, in the interest of feigning some kind of doubt on the issue -purely for entertainment purposes as I already consider the matter to be settled- I hereby call the prosecution's first witness:


Lethality. One of Bay13's oldest and most respected posters, who has observed STPer18 & Jazny closely.

Lethality if you would be so kind as to answer the following questions I believe it would be most helpful.
1. In your considered view, is Jazny & STPer18 the same poster?
2. On a scale of 1-10 how certain are you that they ARE the same poster?
3. Do you have any further thoughts to contribute which will make them seem even more guilty?
4. Will you ever shut the **** up about AFLX?

1. Yes, I first suspected this after noting their similar anti-Hawthorn bias.
2. 8
3. Jazny is a derivation of Kolodjashnij, a Geelong defender. Also one of Jazny's previous usernames was Kolo Cat or 'Anus Cat', cat being the Geelong nickname. "Alter Rob" is short for alternate, which refers to people of ambiguous sexuality, a reference to the Jazny persona. It all fits.
4. Objection, badgering the witness.

 

[Wosh]

Not enough Hollywood courtroom cliches for mine. Could we please get a few of these done?

1. Judge says 'This is highly irregular'
2. Judge says 'I'll allow it, but make sure this goes somewhere'
3. Surprise witnesses. Porked04 or Alfred would be dramatic returns.
4. Lawyer has a dramatic pause before a lateral change of strategy
5. A jury of some kind

It’s the vibe

 

[Jazny]

Not enough Hollywood courtroom cliches for mine. Could we please get a few of these done?

1. Judge says 'This is highly irregular'
2. Judge says 'I'll allow it, but make sure this goes somewhere'
3. Surprise witnesses. Porked04 or Alfred would be dramatic returns.
4. Lawyer has a dramatic pause before a lateral change of strategy
5. A jury of some kind

Zooper objections!

 

[A Cut Above]

Your Honor both my witnesses have expressed an opinion that Jazny & STPer18 are most likely the same poster. I believe all that's needed now is for you to rubber stamp a guilty verdict and allow the jury to vote an appropriate punishment via a poll. This was always going to be open and shut case.

 

[Smeg Head]

Your Honor both my witnesses have expressed an opinion that Jazny & STPer18 are most likely the same poster. I believe all that's needed now is for you to rubber stamp a guilty verdict and allow the jury to vote an appropriate punishment via a poll. This was always going to be open and shut case.

Are you forgetting the ritual sacrifice of a flog before the verdict? I nominate TazHawk15 to take one for the team.

 

[TazHawk15]

Are you forgetting the ritual sacrifice of a flog before the verdict? I nominate TazHawk15 to take one for the team.

How about we sacrifice either that Flog Nic Nat or J.Kennedy.

Not a brutal sacrifice 2015 GF style, just a gentle one.

Not even a 1991 GF style beating to death, just a whipping.

What do you think Smegdick?

On topic, its clear that Jazny and the Handbagger Flog are one and the same.

 

[Redvest5]

Your Honor both my witnesses have expressed an opinion that Jazny & STPer18 are most likely the same poster. I believe all that's needed now is for you to rubber stamp a guilty verdict and allow the jury to vote an appropriate punishment via a poll. This was always going to be open and shut case.

I’ve heard enough, Jazny and STPer18 are:


You are hereby sentenced to removing your Stper18 benny, a night with boydshow painting your nails and you will have to attend Packedlunch’s benny reformation school for those struggling with benny and like whoring addictions. PL will ensure you will get the help you so desperately need over the next 12 to 18 months. At the end of rehab, you will have access to your Jazny account, albeit, without any likes whatsoever.