Off-topic Bay 13 Survivor: Cockburn (2016). We have a winner! (links in OP)

[Dinsdale]

So I'm out, ah well it's a fair cop...

I have lost all competitiveness.

Why didn't you give me your idol then you clown?

sent by shoe phone using tapatoe

 

[A Cut Above]

All aboard! Grab your tickets now folks

#TEAMBENWAH

NTTAWWT

 

[DapperJong]

Who here has used either photoshop or illustrator before and can teach me how to use it better than Benwah and misty?

 

[Dinsdale]

Who here has used either photoshop or illustrator before and can teach me how to use it better than Benwah and misty?

Don't you have Gulags for that? Just practice.

sent by shoe phone using tapatoe

 

[Sainter3and7]

Don't give in... worst comes to worst, draw something by hand and scan it in. Better than nothing.
I imagine the words will be important too.

 

[Kangaroos4eva]

Who here has used either photoshop or illustrator before and can teach me how to use it better than Benwah and misty?

Benwah and Oogac are gods with the shop, Red Mist isn't far behind. Have photoshop the program and if you having trouble with erasing parts of a layer, double the size of the image to make erasing a bit smoother. As for the shoop ideas, l leave that to you.

 

[Packedlunch]

Who here has used either photoshop or illustrator before and can teach me how to use it better than Benwah and misty?

Clearly you are too shy to just ask me directly Dapper!

Download Cut Me In, enjoy.

 

[DapperJong]

Clearly you are too shy to just ask me directly Dapper!

Download Cut Me In, enjoy.

Oh I'm getting super creative on this one. It need PLUG INS.

That's a clue about what my team will be called btw

 

[Packedlunch]

Oh I'm getting super creative on this one. It need PLUG INS.

That's a clue about what my team will be called btw

The creatives?

I think you can do better than that mate.

 

[DapperJong]

The creatives?

I think you can do better than that mate.

No man "the gettings"

Shit bro where is your head at

 

[Allikat]

Who here has used either photoshop or illustrator before and can teach me how to use it better than Benwah and misty?

I could... except you voted me off

 

[Benwah83]

Challenge #16 Entry

I guess I should have prepared a response for this when I wrote the bloody challenge…

Mascot and Team name

I think it’s important that the name and mascot relate back to the heritage of Cockburn, and how it came to be named what it is, as told by Stronzo. So…..

Meet Fireball Ricky, the mascot of the latest AFL franchise - The Cockburn Fireballs

You’ll note that Ricky has in his hot little hands some of the local product – pure Cockburn Coke Beach Sand. Fireball Ricky will do the rounds of the ground before the game, handing out these little satchels of goodness to the men, women and children in the crowd.

Exuberant cheering assured.

Jumper Design

Again, in keeping with how the place came to be known as Cockburn, I’ve kept this pretty traditional. The background of the jumper is a shot of Cockburn’s famous Coke beach, as identified by Allikat.

On the front, there is an artist’s interpretation of that fateful day, when Ricky’s wedding vegetables caught alight.

The socks, again, pay homage to Cockburn’s greatest asset. The aqua symbolising the water, the white symbolising the beautiful beach.

Each white line on each sock is embroided with the head of Jake Carlisle, in honour of his famous visit to our shores.

Inaugural Coach

In what could very well be the biggest coup for the Cockburn Fireballs, we’ve managed to line up, as the coach, the one and only…

JoseMourinho

There are lots of reasons to be excited about this signing. Why Jose for coach? Well:

• We’ve reportedly stolen him out from the grasps of one of the biggest football franchises in the world – Manchester United (correct at time of writing….)
• Weekly Power Rankings for all of the team’s players – the playing list has to know where they stand.
• He’s from Portugal – so he’s spent time living it up down ol’s South America way* – the white powder playground. He’ll know how to get the team up and about with the ‘resources’ available to him.

*That’d be the second Arrested Development reference in this thread, after Mr. Manager…

Inaugural Captain

After all the work we collectively put into finding Trent Cotchin at Cockburn, it just has to be him.

Why Trent?:

• He’s currently scattered all over the island thanks to Dinsdale, so he should come cheap I suppose we better get to work stitching him back together…
• Generally predictable wind conditions at Cockburn Sound.

Marquee Signing

I’ve had a chat to my Spirit Guide and resident Cockburn Lady of the Swamp Jack Watts. He’s agreed that finally, after all these years, it’s time for a fresh start somewhere else!

Why Jack as the marquee signing?

• He has spent a solid pre-season out of the swamp and down at the beach. The levels of energy he’ll be bringing to the field this season will surely get supporters through the gates!
• He handles pressure and expectation well.
• The club has managed to cut him a side deal with Cockburn Cement to help him harden the **** up.

Team to be Removed from the Competition

All sporting competitions are more interesting when teams are evenly matched, and you can never be sure who is going to win on any given day.

The spreading of premierships around the competition is also a good thing. It delivers hope to the great unwashed.

Additionally, Victoria clearly has too many AFL teams. That has been patently obvious for years.

I’ve not yet discussed this with AFLHQ_, but……

Cya Hawthorn. Go and make your own league you greedy campaigners. We don’t need you.

Additionally, the Cockburn Fireballs is now the team of choice for LGBT AFL supporters.

In addition….

To help build the identity of Cockburn:

Pre-game routine:

Each player must kiss ‘Ricky’s Junk Urn' before each game for good luck.

An unfortunate fate awaits any player who fails to do this.

Team song:

Finally, I thought it would be worth coming up with a team song. So, set to the tune of Jerry Lee Lewis’s Great Balls of Fire…

Coke shakes my nerves and rattles my brain​

Too much beach sand drives a man insane
You broke my will, kick me the pill
We’re the Cockburn great balls of fire

Ricky’s junk can’t be fixed just by money
Down at the swamp Jack’s acting real funny
I changed my mind, do another line
We’re the Cockburn great balls of fire

You scored a goal baby, woo, it feels good
Hold me baby, our captain’s vanished from da hood
Winning’s fine, you’ll find that premiership cup is gonna be mine mine mine mine

I chew my nails and I twitch my thumbs
Yes I’m high but it helps me run
Fireballs baby, we’ll drive you crazy
We’re the Cockburn great balls of fire​

 

[DapperJong]

Challenge #16 Entry

Disclaimer: Yes, my mascot is similar in nature to Benwah's. We are both just very sexual people.



INTRODUCING:

THE COCKBURN RUBBER ANAL FISTS

Home strip:

Away Strip:



EVERYONE! MEET YOUR NEW BEST MATE!

RED FIST



Named after my favourite Independent Red mist hahahah have a look at him! What a dude!

COACH:

Clarko!!! Leads by example!!!



POWER OF THE FIST!

CAPTAIN:ME LOL DID YOU SEE MY LATEST QOOTY STATS???

MARQUEE SIGNING:



WHY???

Ah yes, why "Rubber Anal Fists"? Well it pretty much sums up my experience on this island.

To get ahead in this game, you have to fist people. And I've also seen my comrades get fisted all around me RIP royals1922. At times, I've even felt a finger or two up my own hole as certain voting rounds came down to hair-splitting moments. And that bloody SCG security guard would have searched every inch of my nether-regions if I wasn't such the gifted athlete that I am. Many contestants who were voted off WEEKS ago are still feeling the sting in their rim, even though they may deny it, melting away in this thread and in some cases begging to be let back in.

And I want my players and my team to become and on-field fist, whilst also remaining clenched and aware of oppositions fists.

You'll all agree it is a very powerful and iconic brand that everyone will be proud to be associated with.

Whoever wins this will pump their fist up any cavity they can to celebrate.

MARKETING

You know those inflatable sticks that the kids whack together that are stupidly loud? Same thing but with two fists fisting the ever-loving shit out of each other.

Unbearingly loud and obscene!!! The kids will love it!

WHO GETS THE ARSE?

Three questions:

1. Who is Adam Simpson?
2. Who is Shannon Hurn?
3. Will Jack Darling ever recover from embarrassment?

The answer is no one cares. West Coast, see ya m8.

 

[DapperJong]

Can I go to sleep now

 

[JoseMourinho]

Can I go to sleep now

no

 

[Dinsdale]

Can I go to sleep now

werent you already asleep when you wrote it?

 

[DapperJong]

werent you already asleep when you wrote it?

Pretty much

 

[Dinsdale]

no

I forgot one of my mod promises was to banzhammer you until you made your stupid sig smaller.

 

[Red mist]

Challenge #16 entry

Gill looks sure of himself to announce the new AFL team...

THE COCKBURN LAB-RATS!!​

Danky the mascot.

Team strip:


Coach:


He will be completely unaware of what's really going on.

Captain:

After a brief sabbatical probably watching more cricket Jobe is keen to come a cross and don the asterisk.



Marquee Signing:

To get him to 600 games he was keen to join the regime.


Who drops out?


News of PAFC going bankrupt and Koch going up for tax evasion was a tragedy.

 

[Kangaroos4eva]

Challenge #16 entry

View attachment 218500 Gill looks sure of himself to announce the new AFL team...

THE COCKBURN LAB-RATS!!​

View attachment 218502 Danky the mascot.

Team strip:

View attachment 218501
Coach:

View attachment 218508
He will be completely unaware of what's really going on.

Captain:

After a brief sabbatical probably watching more cricket Jobe is keen to come a cross and don the asterisk.
View attachment 218512


Marquee Signing:

To get him to 600 games he was keen to join the regime.
View attachment 218510

Who drops out?

View attachment 218513
News of PAFC going bankrupt and Koch going up for tax evasion was a tragedy.

Love the aged boomer.

 

[Red mist]

Love the aged boomer.

Hehe. I've been sitting on that for a while looking for a place to use it.

 

[JoseMourinho]

Looks like the Turncoat wins immunity!

 

[Benwah83]

Captain:

After a brief sabbatical probably watching more cricket Jobe is keen to come a cross and don the asterisk.
View attachment 218512

#dontheasterisk

 

[Starburns_]

#impunity time.

Tight call between 'Great Balls of Fire', 'Red Fist', and ageing Boomer. But there can only be one winner, and for the overall strength of his entry, once again it is Benwah83.

Having won the final #Impunity challenge, Benwah automatically goes through to the final 2 and decides who goes with him. Benwah you have until 8pm AEDT to vote for the flog you want gawn.

DapperJong Red mist

 

[Packedlunch]

#impunity time.

Tight call between 'Great Balls of Fire', 'Red Fist', and ageing Boomer. But there can only be one winner, and for the overall strength of his entry, once again it is Benwah83.

Having won the final #Impunity challenge, Benwah automatically goes through to the final 2 and decides who goes with him. Benwah you have until 8pm AEDT to vote for the flog you want gawn.

DapperJong Red mist

Benwah83 ...outrageous!!

Surely he was disqualified for this hurtful contribution? I can barely look.