Off-topic Bay Survivor 2017 - Good Bloke Island Edition - Congratulations Richoatthedisco!

[El Dubya]

Lucky lady.
Its a beautiful time of year to be in Corio, with the musky aroma of the mud flats mixing enchantingly with heady scent of the oil refinery.
If you're incredibly lucky you might even spot an Ablett in their natural habitat!

On a good windy day you get a strong whiff of Werribee sewerage farm. Delightful.

 

[William Wonka]

On a good windy day you get a strong whiff of Werribee sewerage farm. Delightful.

I never notice that.
Probably because whenever I'm in Corio I shit myself with excitement.

 

[Art Corvelay]

Red mist Haduken go you pups Ilksy

If not anyone else, then it will be a short and sweet game with the current numbers we have got. I will post the first challenge up on Monday morning.

Sorry mate, not in, don't have time.

 

[Dinsdale]

Bonnie Doon?

been there, very serene.

 

[Kangaroos4eva]

Starting tomorrow. I've hired an outsider contractor to help with the challenges.

 

[bontshow]

Starting tomorrow. I've hired an outsider contractor to help with the challenges.

Looking forward to it, thanks for organising

 

[Morganashlee]

Bonnie Doon?

Currently in Curacao, not quite Bonnie Doon but I’ll take it

 

[Kangaroos4eva]

Good morning ladies, gents, flogs and craffles, welcome to Bay 13 Survivor 2017. This year, you are going to have to outwit, outplay, outflog and outgoo everyone else to be the sole Bay 13 Survivor of 2017. I have already had the sheer delight of putting you flogs and flogettes into teams as you cannot even be trusted to properly organise a root for Candice Warner in a public dunny, let alone individual teams, but don't worry about the tribe names, they'll change later on.

Team Norf:

• El Dubya
• Allikat
• RedVest4
• A Cut Above
• JoseMourinho
• richoatthedisco
• William Wonka
• Floyd
• craffles m7

Team Souf:

• Dawn to Dark
• Chappyuk
• boydshow
• Brain Power
• Lord_Flashheart
• Marklar_33
• Smeg Head
• Stronzo
• Dinsdale

Now before anyone goes anywhere, strategy, our resident legal expert, has a consent and liabilities form for you all to sign. This form excludes Chief, the most stable genius, from any financial penalties due to any foreseeable and long-term mental health damage from being voted or betrayed (Benwah83) off Bay Survivor.


Challenge #1 – What the hell, this isn’t East Geelong?
You awake to discover that you are lying on the edge of a pristine beach, with your view beyond your immediate vicinity blocked by thick jungle and piles of abandoned centrelink appointment cards. You also notice that you have been joined by a man who suspiciously looks like a cross between bombers2003, a dwarf (settle down Cooksen) and Adolf Hitler with a longer mustache, but don't be alarmed, that's just Starburns_. We found him stowing away aboard in the back of the plane from the last edition of Bay Survivor, with the shock of Royals1922 quitting bigfooty after his Bay Survivor exit appearing to have broken the spirit of the wee little tugger's man.


This dump is about as inviting as a Jehovah’s Witness at Tyler Durden007's front door, so it should come as no surprise that no one has bothered to settle here or even name the area. Since this will be your home for the next days/weeks/months, probably days in your case Allikat, you should probably at least make an effort to have it feel that way.


Task

Your task is to name this place. This will be done in the form of a diary entry, it can be as long or as short as you want it to be (examples from last time can be found here). Feel free to cover anything you want in this entry, from the state of your surroundings, to the habits of your fellow castaways, etc. The more humourous and imaginative your entry is, the better, just make sure to include the name.


The Rules
To enter the challenge, you must start with the words: “Challenge #1 entry.”

Once you have posted your entry, it cannot be modified. Mods can see edit histories. I can’t see histories (neither can you boydshow), but I’m sure once Starburns_ regains his bearings, he’ll help out on this one.

If you break this rule or post incorrectly, you will be disqualified from the round.

This round will close at 9 a.m. Thursday AEDT, if you don't enter, you cannot get #impunity. I have given three days for you flogs to complete this challenge. It will eventually go back to two days once the numbers thin.

The Prize

The best 4 entries will be awarded #impunity, which will be based on the quality of the challenge entries, not just the likes and goo-chugging likes of RedVest4's many eliases. Those persons cannot be voted out for round 1. There will be also a losing and a winning tribe, which determines who is available to be voted out.


Good luck and may the odds be ever in your fav…


Good luck, flogs.

 

[ChappyUK]

On a good windy day you get a strong whiff of Werribee sewerage farm. Delightful.

Don't forget the tannery.

 

[Kangaroos4eva]

I forgot the tagging limitation installed by the cost saving Chief, the most stable genius,.

Team Norf

• El Dubya
• Allikat
• RedVest4
• A Cut Above
• JoseMourinho

 

[Kangaroos4eva]

Team Norf Ct...

• richoatthedisco
• William Wonka
• Floyd
• craffles m7

 

[Kangaroos4eva]

Team Souf:

• Dawn to Dark
• Chappyuk
• boydshow
• Brain Power

 

[Kangaroos4eva]

Team Souf ct...

• 
  
  
  • Lord_Flashheart
  • Marklar_33
  • Smeg Head
  • Stronzo
  • Dinsdale

 

[Dinsdale]

“Challenge #1 entry.”

Dear Dairy:
HA! my cunning plan worked, none of the other flogs know I am on the island, and all I had to do to arrive first was to jump out of the plane, forgot my chute but landed ok. The rest are all asleep for some reason, whilst Starbums_ is walking around them, touching them, arranging an arm here, a leg there. Weird.

Anyhow, I know the only way to win this stupid thing is to get #impunity and suck up to the organiser, so I've named this island:

 

[El Dubya]

Challenge #1 Entry:

Waking on the beach I feel dazed, I look to my left and find a comforting face, I know that no matter what I will always be cared for in his loving embrace. Whatever happens next I know I'll be caressed by the best mature age recruit to the AFL in 2017. As I think about this I goo in my pants a little, that's ok, with the apparent lack of food on this desolate isle I will save the protein for later.



In honour of my first experience on the island with my dear friend RedVest4 I will name this place -

Menegoola Island

 

[Kangaroos4eva]

Challenge #1 Entry:

Waking on the beach I feel dazed, I look to my left and find a comforting face, I know that no matter what I will always be cared for in his loving embrace. Whatever happens next I know I'll be caressed by the best mature age recruit to the AFL in 2017. As I think about this I goo in my pants a little, that's ok, with the apparent lack of food on this desolate isle I will save the protein for later.

View attachment 436763

In honour of my first experience on the island with my dear friend RedVest4 I will name this place -

Menegoola Island

I see you have been attending PL's shooping senimars.

 

[El Dubya]

I see you have been attending PL's shooping senimars.

In it to win it.

 

[richoatthedisco]

I always thought of Starburns_ as the Jeff Probst of BigFooty.

 

[Floyd]

 

[Stronzo]

Currently in Curacao, not quite Bonnie Doon but I’ll take it

Awesome!

 

[RedVest4]

Challenge #1 Entry:

flipping great! I’m stuck on this shithole with a bunch of flogs I would never hang out with in real life and the most stubborn flog there is, Starburns_, this should be terrific.

“Now be careful insulting Sparkles, Vesty” A Cut Above and El Dubya said to me quietly, “best not criticise the flog to his face or he’ll arrange for you to be shipped to a bigger shithole than this one - Norf Korea.”

I remember feeling hungry, almost immediately and noticed a delicious looking coconut hanging from a tree.

“Starburns_, that looks like a delicious coconut hanging from that tree over there, you want to grab it for me?” I politely asked.
“I can’t reach it, Vesty” replied Starburns_
“Oh right, well a person of normal height like myself can, so I’ll grab it for us to share”
Starburns_ looked back at me with a glare as I comfortably grabbed the coconut.

“That coconut looks off to me, Vesty” (#Starburnswaswrong)
“I don’t think you’ll be able to open that coconut, Vesty” (#Starburnswaswrong)
“The chances of you not getting sick from that coconut are about as good as another club wanting Motlop, Vesty” (#Starburnswaswrong)

“So fellas, looks like we are here for the long haul, any ideas on what we should call this island?” I asked
“We won’t be calling it Hardwick Island, that’s for sure!” Starburns_ replied
“We won’t be calling it Mistake Island either as you were born there and it already exists, I believe?”

Starburns_ ignored me.
“Careful Vesty! We talked about this...” El Dubya whispered into my ear.
“How about Menegola Island?”
“Go to bed, Vesty” Everyone replied.
“Well it is a dump so it should be called something like Handbagger Island or the Isle of Dank” - A Cut Above said
“How about Obsession Island?” Chappyuk said as he rolled his eyes at A Cut Above.
“Yeah Bosk, you flog!” William Wonka said
“I know... How ab...”
“Fk off Jose!” Everyone shouted at JoseMourinho
“**** this Island” craffles said
“I don’t care what it’s going to be called, but can I have some sort of authoritative role here” boydshow asked.
“BWAAAAAAARK SQUAAAAAWK!!!” TazHawk15 chirped from a nearby tree

It was at this point I knew we weren’t going to get anywhere, so I felt like jumping into the ocean and swimming as far away as possible to get away from these flogs.

All of a sudden, a Skwod of 3 pufferfish named Porked, Alfred and Gray Day jumped out of the ocean onto the beach, a flog by the name of Jade”s appeared from the jungle and another flog by the name of JimmyDE appeared from behind a rock. (It’s more than likely I imagined all of this).

“Oh FFS! I thought I sent those flogs to Norf Korea, what are they doing here?!” Shouted Starburns_

“Ugh” cried William Wonka

You beauty! I thought to myself, maybe this won’t be so bad...

At the top of my voice I shouted “This will now be known as the Isle of Terra!”

“**** the Isle of Terra!” craffles replied

 

[Marklar_33]

Challenge #1 Entry

Uh, what have I done? I was really looking forward to this experience, get out of my comfort zone, live off the land and the sea, meet new and interesting people. Boy, how wrong was I? How did they manage to throw together 17 absolute misfits of society? I’m almost certain I will be eaten in my sleep. They even speak their own language. Sure, I’ve descended here from a much higher class of forum poster, but I didn’t think the IQ plummet would be so severe! There’s even a guy I saw on the boat who had facial reconstruction surgery to resemble his favourite celebrity. I’m not sure who he was going for, but he did say he would miss watching cardoons with his kids. Thankfully, he’s on the other tribe. Anyway, I’ve decided to call this place Suppository Island, cause you can shove it up your arse!

 

[richoatthedisco]

tl;dr

 

[bontshow]

Challenge #1 entry.

After a relatively successful campaign last time, I signed up to Survivor again. Things don't seem so rosy this time though

Kangaroos4eva was previously a key ally, but is now running the game. He might be good for a few challenge awards I guess, but it's a bizarre start he has made calling our location both pristine and a dump!

Chappyuk is on my tribe who I backstabbed last time, as are Stronzo and Dinsdale who were on the other tribe last time and thus allied against me after the merge. There's no Morganashlee to unite against, and there are 5 tribe members I don't know from a bar of soap

I guess I'm the underdog again - everyone wrote me off last time as an unfunny bore who wasn't capable of creating good challenge entries. I ended up in the final 6, and even Starburns_ who would rather swim in a pool of chicken manure than pay me any mind said I was in the top few entries several times

At least there is no Benwah83 or DapperJong to dominate the challenges, and even the revered Floyd has started his campaign with not 1 wall of text, but 4. So a good 10 minutes in MS Paint should see me off to a good start

So for Survivor 2017, K4E has left us at...

 

[Dawn to Dark]

How the **** do I read all that