Vic Best nightspots to go in Melbourne

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Walked in there at 6am once and there was this bald 50 year old bloke who looked like he was straight out of The Sopranos with some old trashy women. Both looked out of it too.

Been in line multiple times too and had the bouncers tell these blokes to piss off and comeback later because they were too old.
Yeah, come back next week when you're younger!
 

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Every single thing I have ever heard about Circus is grotty. Grotty as ****. The most 'normal' story I heard is a friend's mum doing coke next to a prominent cokehead footballer. Again that begs a lot of other questions within it... Drug clubs are some of the worst places on earth, hate this sinister, 'oh aren't we all so cool – everyone here does drugs!' vibe about them too. Dingy holes.
 
Every single thing I have ever heard about Circus is grotty. Grotty as ****. The most 'normal' story I heard is a friend's mum doing coke next to a prominent cokehead footballer. Again that begs a lot of other questions within it... Drug clubs are some of the worst places on earth, hate this sinister, 'oh aren't we all so cool – everyone here does drugs!' vibe about them too. Dingy holes.
It reminds me of Railway in Brunswick and the owner there ended up getting done for selling meth from his office.

Would't surprise me if the same sort of shit is happening at Circus.
 
It reminds me of Railway in Brunswick and the owner there ended up getting done for selling meth from his office.

Would't surprise me if the same sort of shit is happening at Circus.
Ah, classic Railway rumours. Those flew so far and wide I heard the rumour from someone at work who had been to a nightclub about twice in their whole life. Depending on who you ask there were lines going into his office, those busting it were doing secret buys and kept it going on a little too long, you didn't have to pay entry if you bought drugs, now this one that it was meth. The weirdest one I heard was the owner trying to invoke these rules about how many people you were allowed in and what to say – like the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld. All stupid hearsay. Also apparently how it was busted during a Sunday Session.
 
think it's called brickworks or something now and has 'local electronic wizards' playing in the back. can't speak to whether the clientele is still 35 psytrance enthusiasts who probably use the term mother gaia unironically.
 
Brunswick actually has some okay pubs but also has the makings of a shocking night out. Last time I was there the first place we went to was this ramshackle joint that had a picnic table out the back and old disused fridges, and more 'the fridge shat itself last night so we're waiting for someone to come pick it up' rather than rustic 50s fridge reappropriated as an ornament. They were pouring beers into like Crownie glasses they give away at bottle shops. Weird thing is, ended up at the Retreat which I've never been to before and was nicely surprised – it's pretty shabby and hasn't changed since about 1978 inside, all furry wallpaper and extremely dark, but it was a beautiful day and the beer garden was good, food was pretty good and okay priced from memory, and they seemed to be doing a good beer special: think it was Sample IPA for $6 a can?

There's no middle ground there though I reckon.

Aside from that it seems things don't change a huge amount and all the trendy venues are really short lived. I remember being in Manchester and talking to this dude about all the clubs that were popular at the time like My Aeon and shit and within a few months they were dead. It seems the period between being unknown, to really popular, to quiet or out of business is like a year if that.
 
Love Retreat, used to go there heaps in my mid 20s. Surprised you'd not been before SA.

Their cider is top notch.
You venture around that area much anymore? Union Road had a heap of cafés and bars opening, including that awkward beer bar that seemed like it only had a licence for take aways and that seems to only ever have two people in it – but has two people in it at both 8pm on a Saturday and 10am on a Wednesday. Weird there's so few places around there considering the demographic. The Union itself just needs to tidy itself up, get rid of those tacky Fox Footy stickers everywhere, and be a bit less tavern-like and I'd comfortably drink there a bit.
 
You venture around that area much anymore? Union Road had a heap of cafés and bars opening, including that awkward beer bar that seemed like it only had a licence for take aways and that seems to only ever have two people in it – but has two people in it at both 8pm on a Saturday and 10am on a Wednesday. Weird there's so few places around there considering the demographic. The Union itself just needs to tidy itself up, get rid of those tacky Fox Footy stickers everywhere, and be a bit less tavern-like and I'd comfortably drink there a bit.
I don't venture much out at all now. I'm 29 with a mortgage and saving for a wedding, and ever since moving out, we usually have people over rather than going out for a drink. Being cooler too, it's been nice staying in.

As it starts warming up, I'll probably start heading out there again. Really dig Retreat when it's not full of weirdos. Went there for my birthday on a Sunday and there was a ****ing day rave on. Not my scene at all.

Sitting out the front of the Cornish Arms having a parma and a cider on a nice evening is good too.
 

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Ah, classic Railway rumours. Those flew so far and wide I heard the rumour from someone at work who had been to a nightclub about twice in their whole life. Depending on who you ask there were lines going into his office, those busting it were doing secret buys and kept it going on a little too long, you didn't have to pay entry if you bought drugs, now this one that it was meth. The weirdest one I heard was the owner trying to invoke these rules about how many people you were allowed in and what to say – like the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld. All stupid hearsay. Also apparently how it was busted during a Sunday Session.
Rumours?

Mate three people were charged:
http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/dj-owner-charged-after-dance-club-drug-raids-20160420-gob3w3.html
 
More so about how exactly it went down, ie it was on a Sunday and everyone kept carrying on after the police came through, or how it was like lining up for a beer to get drugs. Don't think either exactly happened.
Maybe not exactly: but there is some truth to it.

I don't know if the article I linked has the quotes from the undercover cop but there were definitely queues; not like "getting a beer", but for the purpose of buying bulk amounts- we're not talking a handful of pingers here, and it took months before the under cover was able to get into that position.

I recall reading somewhere the police spent in excess of $10,000 on drugs at the Railway during the investigation. Some crazy figure like that.

Anyway- I highly recommend their pizzas, super cheap and their local brew isn't bad either.
 
Brunswick actually has some okay pubs but also has the makings of a shocking night out. Last time I was there the first place we went to was this ramshackle joint that had a picnic table out the back and old disused fridges, and more 'the fridge shat itself last night so we're waiting for someone to come pick it up' rather than rustic 50s fridge reappropriated as an ornament. They were pouring beers into like Crownie glasses they give away at bottle shops. Weird thing is, ended up at the Retreat which I've never been to before and was nicely surprised – it's pretty shabby and hasn't changed since about 1978 inside, all furry wallpaper and extremely dark, but it was a beautiful day and the beer garden was good, food was pretty good and okay priced from memory, and they seemed to be doing a good beer special: think it was Sample IPA for $6 a can?

There's no middle ground there though I reckon.

Aside from that it seems things don't change a huge amount and all the trendy venues are really short lived. I remember being in Manchester and talking to this dude about all the clubs that were popular at the time like My Aeon and shit and within a few months they were dead. It seems the period between being unknown, to really popular, to quiet or out of business is like a year if that.
Warehouse Project in Manchester is the bees knees
 
Warehouse Project in Manchester is the bees knees
Never been as it only runs like October to November right? I stayed really close to the underpass it's held near and some smackheads gave us the 'we need to call our mate, can we use your phone?' try which has been a plot device on just about every UK series ever. Few good places once you get out of the Northern Quarter but overall it's a great town – I always have a really really good time there. Maybe in my top three or four cities.
 
Never been as it only runs like October to November right? I stayed really close to the underpass it's held near and some smackheads gave us the 'we need to call our mate, can we use your phone?' try which has been a plot device on just about every UK series ever. Few good places once you get out of the Northern Quarter but overall it's a great town – I always have a really really good time there. Maybe in my top three or four cities.
I’m biased as a united fan but the music scene and clobber stores in northern quarter are just awesome
Gorilla is always a trusted venue
I go during winter so warehouse project is pumping one of the best clubbing experiences
 
I’m biased as a united fan but the music scene and clobber stores in northern quarter are just awesome
Gorilla is always a trusted venue
I go during winter so warehouse project is pumping one of the best clubbing experiences
Hah, Gorilla is the one across from one of the O2 venues right? Ritz or Academy I think, went for a few beers there before a show in 'summer.' I usually have stayed around Piccadilly and the Northern Quarter but was good going down that way for a night, found a few decent bars. I went two years ago and the change since then has been pretty interesting – lots of these trendy sort of places popping up, heaps of exposed brick, white tile, and pipes and things like that and as well as the flat white getting a run there (usually served in a glass?) it does seem pretty similar to Melbourne in terms of decor and food. You can actually get some half decent food there now.

Nicest people I've come across too, always have a chat at the shops, girls are really nice and approachable. You can have an opportunistic chat with one of them and they don't get all uppity and assume you're trying to bed them. Wouldn't mind going during the term when there's more people and clubs open.
 
Hah, Gorilla is the one across from one of the O2 venues right? Ritz or Academy I think, went for a few beers there before a show in 'summer.' I usually have stayed around Piccadilly and the Northern Quarter but was good going down that way for a night, found a few decent bars. I went two years ago and the change since then has been pretty interesting – lots of these trendy sort of places popping up, heaps of exposed brick, white tile, and pipes and things like that and as well as the flat white getting a run there (usually served in a glass?) it does seem pretty similar to Melbourne in terms of decor and food. You can actually get some half decent food there now.

Nicest people I've come across too, always have a chat at the shops, girls are really nice and approachable. You can have an opportunistic chat with one of them and they don't get all uppity and assume you're trying to bed them. Wouldn't mind going during the term when there's more people and clubs open.
Looks a lot like Fitzroy these days but its not a bad thing, at least they're opening unlike London where clubs and bars are closing.
Printworks in London looks mint though.
Flat Whites in the UK are more like piccolos here, so a shot of espresso and filled up a little with hot milk which I reckon is perfect, you're right about the food in Manchester these days, I first went in 2014 and really struggled, last year there were burgers joints, proper fried chicken joints, take your pick. The Curry Mile is still best bet through, esp if you visit the Apollo.
I love the Mancunians and the Northern people in general, whether they're from Leeds, Liverpool or anywhere inbetween they'll buy you a beer, they're chuffed to see an Australian visit their city and if you can talk football or music suddenly you're pals for the night.

the girls are super super friendly, there are a lot of gorgeous girls who are humble as and have great banter, at worst they say they're not interested but generally you get a laugh or some conversation before then totally unlike down here
 
Looks a lot like Fitzroy these days but its not a bad thing, at least they're opening unlike London where clubs and bars are closing.
Printworks in London looks mint though.
Flat Whites in the UK are more like piccolos here, so a shot of espresso and filled up a little with hot milk which I reckon is perfect, you're right about the food in Manchester these days, I first went in 2014 and really struggled, last year there were burgers joints, proper fried chicken joints, take your pick. The Curry Mile is still best bet through, esp if you visit the Apollo.
I love the Mancunians and the Northern people in general, whether they're from Leeds, Liverpool or anywhere inbetween they'll buy you a beer, they're chuffed to see an Australian visit their city and if you can talk football or music suddenly you're pals for the night.

the girls are super super friendly, there are a lot of gorgeous girls who are humble as and have great banter, at worst they say they're not interested but generally you get a laugh or some conversation before then totally unlike down here
British curries are so overrated. Had one in Brick Lane last time and it was appalling. About four bits of meat in the whole thing and the curry itself was so bland tasteless I reckon a ready made from Woolies would outdo it. The reviews online were pretty scary, a news article from the Sun was saying a customer was assaulted when he complained about hairs in his food and the price (we were stung like £40 for three curries and a drink each), another one was them regularly skimming customer's cards. Lucky we paid by cash and cut our losses. If I wasn't hungover and kicked up a fuss we would have been in trouble. In the UK the only curry I go for is on chips and cod... that's good.

Leeds is a good town, didn't go to Brudenell Social but apparently the food there is really good and it's one of the best venues in the country for music.

Girls are really trendy there but even the more 'basic' ones are pretty cute. People take a lot of pride in their appearance, whether you like their look or not they care. Nice town. Liverpool is sick too but I've only been there for a few nights.

When you go to those cities though you realise Melbourne nightlife isn't so bad. Even New York is overrated. There are great bands every night for 20 bucks but that's the only difference. Their clubs are average because they're even full on amyl nitrate nights where everyone's in drag and wanting to see Lena Dunham or else they're like frat parties. For a city of like four million Melbourne does pretty well and actually leads the way a fair bit.
 

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Vic Best nightspots to go in Melbourne

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