Vic Best nightspots to go in Melbourne

[NMFCMUFC]

British curries are so overrated. Had one in Brick Lane last time and it was appalling. About four bits of meat in the whole thing and the curry itself was so bland tasteless I reckon a ready made from Woolies would outdo it. The reviews online were pretty scary, a news article from the Sun was saying a customer was assaulted when he complained about hairs in his food and the price (we were stung like £40 for three curries and a drink each), another one was them regularly skimming customer's cards. Lucky we paid by cash and cut our losses. If I wasn't hungover and kicked up a fuss we would have been in trouble. In the UK the only curry I go for is on chips and cod... that's good.

Leeds is a good town, didn't go to Brudenell Social but apparently the food there is really good and it's one of the best venues in the country for music.

Girls are really trendy there but even the more 'basic' ones are pretty cute. People take a lot of pride in their appearance, whether you like their look or not they care. Nice town. Liverpool is sick too but I've only been there for a few nights.

When you go to those cities though you realise Melbourne nightlife isn't so bad. Even New York is overrated. There are great bands every night for 20 bucks but that's the only difference. Their clubs are average because they're even full on amyl nitrate nights where everyone's in drag and wanting to see Lena Dunham or else they're like frat parties. For a city of like four million Melbourne does pretty well and actually leads the way a fair bit.

Oh yeah when I stayed in Shoreditch girls 10am on a Monday morning would all be dolled up and all the guys knew how to dress it was interesting.

Leeds live music wise is probs better than Manchester for bands etc, Manchester has more raves etc

I somehow always avoided chicken shops in the UK, Chicken Connoisseur kicked off the week AFTER I left unlucky it seems so cheap.

Melbourne gets all the acts you really want to see generally, we have a music scene that supports up and coming music, I'm into Techno mostly these days and over the next few weeks Thick as Thieves, Novel etc are bringing out some huge names that command big presence in Berlin/Amsterdam techno scenes.

As you said, run of the mill shitty clubs are in every city, I remember when I first went to London in 2014 I went to some terrible clubs last year I actually did some research and found some good parties, but they arent too different than good parties at Brown Alley etc here.

A good example is I saw Tourist in Oval Space Shoreditch in December, it was a tiny hall like venue, 3 pound pints though which was fantastic, then I saw him at Howler Melbourne in Feb, if anything the Melbourne crowd was getting into it way more and had more energy, venue was a little bigger too

 

[Silent Alarm]

Londoners suck, dreary campaigners walking around everywhere or pretentious rich kids going to Goldsmiths drinking Red Stripe. Red Stripe is maybe the only beer I flat out wouldn't drink, actually tastes like varnish, no joke it's awful. Bad hospitality, really really bad. Second cities are way better across the board in my opinion, and steering this back to Melbourne I think in comparison to Sydney, Melbourne has some good options. Even the layout is better, more variation in pub (though Sydney's inner suburban/suburban pubs are on average way way better than those back in Melbourne).

 

[TBellicious]

Londoners suck, dreary campaigners walking around everywhere or pretentious rich kids going to Goldsmiths drinking Red Stripe. Red Stripe is maybe the only beer I flat out wouldn't drink, actually tastes like varnish, no joke it's awful. Bad hospitality, really really bad. Second cities are way better across the board in my opinion, and steering this back to Melbourne I think in comparison to Sydney, Melbourne has some good options. Even the layout is better, more variation in pub (though Sydney's inner suburban/suburban pubs are on average way way better than those back in Melbourne).

Have you ever thought about writing a book?

 

[Silent Alarm]

Have you ever thought about writing a book?

Yeah but every time I want to take my laptop somewhere to write, I end up ragging on every pub and just stay at home and type it to bigfooty...

 

[BotsMaster]

Anyone go to Asian Beer Cafe on Saturday night?

 

[Silent Alarm]

Anyone go to Asian Beer Cafe on Saturday night?

Funny how they think they're so tough but were drinking the most watered down beer you can get that is still actually beer.

 

[Catfish Alley]

Tsingtao, Beerlao, Bintang?

 

[Silent Alarm]

Tsingtao, Beerlao, Bintang?

Nah it's none of those. Asian lagers can be intensely shitty but some of them are pretty okay and actually serve a purpose – a Singha on a hot day is pretty decent, a Tsingtao is always an obvious option at $5 in Chinatown, Bintang is cheap in Bali etc... this shit is just some home made concoction.

I used to go very infrequently in uni. The beers aren't especially Asian, the decor wants to be (you urinate on manga characters?) but whatever comes out the tap is clearly massively watered down – has no head or carbonation and is about $9 for a jug or something. Obviously you need about 10 of the things to get you half pissed as I doubt it's even 3% alcohol.

Also everything comes in a plastic pint but you never really want to complain about it, because it is the sort of place where they'd be used as weapons.

It makes the faux-British pub across from it seem pretty good.

Absolute shithole. Didn't even know it was popular anymore, used to be amongst eastern suburbs kids.

 

[getthefooty]

ABC is potentially the biggest cesspit in Melbourne.

 

[Silent Alarm]

Transport Bar probably saves it from being the worst place in Melbourne.

 

[PP34]

Anyone go to Asian Beer Cafe on Saturday night?

Funnily enough I was going to pass through Melbourne Central after Derby Day to get some beers, glad I didn’t.

Bouncers are as bad as some of the patrons at ABC. Dickheads looking for fights instead of managing the place like a bouncer should.

The Lion across from it is almost as bad with some of the deadshits I’ve seen in there.

 

[Silent Alarm]

The Lion is bad but it's more boozed up ex-pat Poms drinking after work, middle aged women looking for a root, and hardcore alcoholics. If you want to imagine what a Wetherspoons in the UK is like on a Monday night, go there and pretend the pints are $1.21 instead of $12.10 and you've got most of the experience.

 

[Bomberboyokay]

Asian Beer Cafe and The Lion are both ****ing horrendous. Being in a shopping centre is a giveaway.

 

[ezard15]

Got told twice that I had to sober up on saturday night/sunday morning whilst not being let into Revolver nightclub in Prahran. Was completely sober both times.

Fair enough if they want to maintain their gender ratios but at least be honest about it.

Absolute campaigners.

Completely ruined my birthday celebrations and made me feel/look like a loser in front of my mates

 

[JG22]

Got told twice that I had to sober up on saturday night/sunday morning whilst not being let into Revolver nightclub in Prahran. Was completely sober both times.

Fair enough if they want to maintain their gender ratios but at least be honest about it.

Absolute campaigners.

Completely ruined my birthday celebrations and made me feel/look like a loser in front of my mates

It happens in quite a few venues, they also want to control the look/age of people

 

[ezard15]

It happens in quite a few venues, they also want to control the look/age of people

Yeah agreed.

Better for the bouncer to pretend he thought I was drunk than being told I was too unattractive or uncool I guess




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[PP34]

Got told twice that I had to sober up on saturday night/sunday morning whilst not being let into Revolver nightclub in Prahran. Was completely sober both times.

Fair enough if they want to maintain their gender ratios but at least be honest about it.

Absolute campaigners.

Completely ruined my birthday celebrations and made me feel/look like a loser in front of my mates

First time trying to get into Revs or something?

They are campaigners. There is no logic at all to their system. I have been out of my mind and gotten in with ease a couple of times, having some moderately attractive girls with me probably helped.

The other times I've been more sober and it's a complete lottery if you get in or not. Revs doesn't really care about that ratio stuff to be honest. They're more focused on letting their regulars in and then ensuring the place isn't overcrowded from what I have gathered.

It's the last place I'd consider for birthday celebrations, particularly Sunday morning when it is at its busiest and they knock back every second person. I'm surprised they just didn't give you the members only bullshit. That's typically what they give you if you're sober and don't want you in.

 

[ezard15]

First time trying to get into Revs or something?

They are campaigners. There is no logic at all to their system. I have been out of my mind and gotten in with ease a couple of times, having some moderately attractive girls with me probably helped.

The other times I've been more sober and it's a complete lottery if you get in or not. Revs doesn't really care about that ratio stuff to be honest. They're more focused on letting their regulars in and then ensuring the place isn't overcrowded from what I have gathered.

It's the last place I'd consider for birthday celebrations, particularly Sunday morning when it is at its busiest and they knock back every second person. I'm surprised they just didn't give you the members only bullshit. That's typically what they give you if you're sober and don't want you in.

Cheers, that makes me feel a bit better.

They certainly are campaigners.

I’m not from Melbs originally and have always been in the northern suburbs but thought I would give revs a go as my mate just bought an apartment just around the corner. Won’t be going back.


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[PP34]

Cheers, that makes me feel a bit better.

They certainly are campaigners.

I’m not from Melbs originally and have always been in the northern suburbs but thought I would give revs a go as my mate just bought an apartment just around the corner. Won’t be going back.


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It's alright if you actually get in, it's just a lottery though and I've wasted a fair bit of money and time heading out to Chapel St after being somewhere else prior.

I guess with a place like that they sort of have to be selective with who they let in.

 

[ezard15]

It's alright if you actually get in, it's just a lottery though and I've wasted a fair bit of money and time heading out to Chapel St after being somewhere else prior.

I guess with a place like that they sort of have to be selective with who they let in.

Yeah they definitely have to be selective but telling people that are sober to ‘sober up’ isn’t the best way of doing it I guess.

Problem at that time of night is there are no alternatives apart from one six one which is even worse.


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[sherbrook]

The Lion is bad but it's more boozed up ex-pat Poms drinking after work, middle aged women looking for a root, and hardcore alcoholics. If you want to imagine what a Wetherspoons in the UK is like on a Monday night, go there and pretend the pints are $1.21 instead of $12.10 and you've got most of the experience.

Middle aged women looking for a root are underrated

 

[JG22]

Can you enjoy revs without md?

 

[PP34]

Can you enjoy revs without md?

My first time there I was just on the beers. I just found it a bit weirder than normal clubs, wasn't too bad.

 

[JG22]

My first time there I was just on the beers. I just found it a bit weirder than normal clubs, wasn't too bad.

guess it depends how many you've had

if your blind I'm sure it'd be fine

 

[Wojcinski]

I never had many issues getting into clubs back in the day, I remember once I tried to go to the Duke of Edinburgh on Sydney Rd with my missus and her friend, they wouldn't let me in due to how I was dressed but were more than happy to let the girls in. I told them to get ****ed and the bitch on the door had the nuts to say "well this is why we don't let people who dress like you in, you start fights"

I was wearing a regular collared shirt and blue jeans with black shoes, I had a peak inside and it was standard 2008 era hipster dumpster clothes everywhere. Losers.