Media Bob's Stats - The Free Kick Table For Season 32

[jackster83]

Sounds like the Sweet FA Integrity Department need an investigation into some of the umpiring.

 

[Tonga Bob]

Well nerds, here we are again. Another week of free kick stats that I just know that literally three or four people are waiting on. We're getting towards the pointy end of the season, and all of the awards are still up for grabs which is keeping me interested at least.

Here's the skinny...

• For the second time this season, the Roys and Gumbies played out a draw in their free kick counts! How freaky is that?

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• The second placed Furies could not take advantage of this and take top spot, as they only could only manage a draw themselves against the fifth-placed Bombers;
• The Warriors and Wonders swapped positions on the table. The Warriors took out a meagre 11-9 win over the Dragons, while the 11th placed Royals upset the Wonders;
• Another week, another loss from the Demons. They've dropped from top spot in round 8 to 9th spot now thanks to losing their fifth game on the trot (and 7 of their last 8, with the other one being a draw);
• The other team to have fallen off a cliff are the Bears. Six losses in their past seven games (the other a draw) mean they've gone from 3rd in round 6 to 11th now, a mere 0.36% ahead of last placed Sin City.

Here's a graph showing the ladder movement so far this season:



And here's the individual standings:

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Death, taxes and Supersuns bottling a lead. Yep, Chokey McChokeface has done it again by earning a single free kick to the five that Pugsley picked up, meaning the Bomber butt-sniffer has a four kick lead with three rounds remaining. And with the Bombers facing the freefalling Demons this week, Pugsley could quite possible get double figures in frees for this week. StFly is one kick behind Sunny in third, with Marlowe (who earned seven frees for last week!!) and GWS Goose in 4th & 5th respectively.

The Big Spoon is even tighter. It's the William & Harry show as Royal rookies krakouers85 and Fitzey have come from the clods with eight conceded frees between them to share the lead. They are one kick ahead of both Bradesmaen and Brick Loosener while ant555 and SaintBilly are another two further back.

Three rounds to go nerds, and there's still everything to play for. Fame, notoriety, fake online awards, the whole Magilla. Who wants some???

​

 

[Supersuns]

View attachment 1270188

Well nerds, here we are again. Another week of free kick stats that I just know that literally three or four people are waiting on. We're getting towards the pointy end of the season, and all of the awards are still up for grabs which is keeping me interested at least.

Here's the skinny...

View attachment 1270206

• For the second time this season, the Roys and Gumbies played out a draw in their free kick counts! How freaky is that?

View attachment 1270217​

• The second placed Furies could not take advantage of this and take top spot, as they only could only manage a draw themselves against the fifth-placed Bombers;
• The Warriors and Wonders swapped positions on the table. The Warriors took out a meagre 11-9 win over the Dragons, while the 11th placed Royals upset the Wonders;
• Another week, another loss from the Demons. They've dropped from top spot in round 8 to 9th spot now thanks to losing their fifth game on the trot (and 7 of their last 8, with the other one being a draw);
• The other team to have fallen off a cliff are the Bears. Six losses in their past seven games (the other a draw) mean they've gone from 3rd in round 6 to 11th now, a mere 0.36% ahead of last placed Sin City.

Here's a graph showing the ladder movement so far this season:

View attachment 1270215

And here's the individual standings:

View attachment 1270446​

Death, taxes and Supersuns bottling a lead. Yep, Chokey McChokeface has done it again by earning a single free kick to the five that Pugsley picked up, meaning the Bomber butt-sniffer has a four kick lead with three rounds remaining. And with the Bombers facing the freefalling Demons this week, Pugsley could quite possible get double figures in frees for this week. StFly is one kick behind Sunny in third, with Marlowe (who earned seven frees for last week!!) and GWS Goose in 4th & 5th respectively.

The Big Spoon is even tighter. It's the William & Harry show as Royal rookies krakouers85 and Fitzey have come from the clods with eight conceded frees between them to share the lead. They are one kick ahead of both Bradesmaen and Brick Loosener while ant555 and SaintBilly are another two further back.

Three rounds to go nerds, and there's still everything to play for. Fame, notoriety, fake online awards, the whole Magilla. Who wants some???

View attachment 1270449​

My consistency is unrivalled at this point

 

[Tonga Bob]

My consistency is unrivalled at this point

You truly are the Metamucil of the Sweet FA.

 

[Supersuns]

You truly are the Metamucil of the Sweet FA.

About time I get the respect I deserve.

 

[Tonga Bob]

Some people were born with greatness, some people had greatness thrust upon them, and others just sit there minding their own business as greatness passes them by. This thread is definitely the latter.

We're almost there nerds, so please join me as we sit here together minding our own business...

• For the first time since round nine, we have a new leader (and only the third leader of the season). Despite losing the qooty match by eleventy godzillion goals, the Warriors upset the Roys in free kicks 12-8 which was enough to leapfrog them on the table. However it was the Furies who took full advantage of the upset and, thanks to a 12-11 win over the 4th placed Wonders, have taken the lead in the free kick table with two rounds remaining;
• The Phoenix keep rising, up four positions in the past three rounds to be in the top half of the table for the first time since the opening round;
• The Warriors have the highest ladder variation I have seen for quite some time, as their second place on the free kick table a massive ten places away from where they sit on the qooty table;
• The Deez broke their eight game winless streak, upsetting the erratic Bombers. This leaves the Bears on the longest current winless streak thanks to their 16-19 defeat at the hands of the Gumbies;
• The Swamprats are still last, but are still two points off 10th place so hope is not yet lost for them avoiding the wooden spoon;
• The West Coasters' loss to the Furies means that only three teams can still win the Silver Whistle this season - The Furies, Warriors and Roys;
• And in a nice piece of symmetry, the Demons win means that unless they lose their last two free kick counts by absolutely heaps they are safe from the wooden spoon. The Swamprats, Bears and Royals will fight it out for that 'honour'.

An interesting thing happened in the overall free kick table for all results since the beginning of season 29, or season 1 AB (Anno Bobini):



For the first time in a long time, the Dragons are off the bottom of the overall table!! They've equalled the Bears points total, however their superior percentage has lifted them off the bottom. And in another interesting observation, the bottom five places in the overall free kick table since the beginning of season 29 are occupied by the teams that have won every qooty premiership in that time (Swamprats in s29, Royals in s30 & Demons in s31) along with the two teams on equal points atop this season's qooty table (Dragons & Demons), and the Bears who are just plain trash. So possibly free kicks do not correlate with ultimate qooty success? Hmmmm.....

Meanwhile, here's the individual free kick standing:

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A massive six free kicks received in round 13 by helmeted Gumby StFly sees him join previous leader Pugsley on top of the Little Spoon leader board. The Bomber ball magnet (he just loves licking them) only earned one free kick last week in a choke that would make Supersuns proud. Speaking of the Roys pin cushion, he's dropped to third place after getting three frees. Marlowe is down to 4th after receiving zero love from the qumpires, while Warrior captain TheInjuryFactory rises to 5th place.

Another Gumby has made their move, this time in the Big Spoon leader board, as Brick Loosener conceded four frees to take a one kick lead over Royal baby krakouers85 while sibling Fitzey is another kick behind in third. Bradesmaen was too vanilla to give away any free kicks last week so drops to 4th place, with the group of Bluelegs hotchilli tony and last season's Little Spoon winner Millky95 in fifth place.

I don't know about you nerds but I am literally on the edge of my seat in anticipation for how this all plays out. Which teams and players will join our illustrious honour board?

​

Only time will tell.

Well time, and me.

And the people that post the matches & stats.

And the sim too I guess.

Shut up.

 

[Tonga Bob]

Settle down serial_thrilla, this isn't a team sheet.

 

[serial_thrilla]

View attachment 1274437

Settle down serial_thrilla, this isn't a team sheet.

I was a little taken aback that we are no longer on the bottom of the long-term free kick table.

 

[Tonga Bob]

I was a little taken aback that we are no longer on the bottom of the long-term free kick table.

 

[Tonga Bob]

Happy Friday nerds, and welcome to the penultimate round of free kick analysis.

​

Oh OK. Sorry about that, spooky television actor man.

Happy Friday nerds, and welcome to the second last lot of free kick analysis. Let's start off by going to the table.

​

• Despite losing the qooty match by [checks notes] everything, the Furies somehow eked out a 10-9 free kick victory over the Gumbies to retain top position on the free kick table;
• The Warriors and Roys had more convincing victories, so much so that the Warriors are over 100% for the first time since round four and the Roys have overtaken the Furies for the highest percentage of all teams. This means that the top three teams can still take out the Silver Whistle this season;
• The Gumbies loss, along with the Wonders losing and the Phoenix drawing has meant that the Dragons, despite winning their free kick count over the Bombers by one single kick, rose four places this week from 8th to 4th;
• The Bears' winless steak has extended to nine after falling to the Royals in a result that confirms that the Gold Citizens avoid the wooden spoon;
• The loss from the Las Vegans keeps them alongside the Swamprats (who also lost) at the foot of the table.

So here's the potential results that will determine who ends up on top and on bottom of the table:

• Furies will finish on top if:
  • They beat the Roys and the Warriors don't beat the Phoenix by like 84 free kicks;
  • They draw with the Roys and the Warriors either draw with or lose to the Phoenix;
• Warriors will finish on top if:
  • They beat the Phoenix by 96 free kicks and the Furies beat the Roys by not much;
  • They beat the Phoenix and the Furies either draw with or lose to the Roys;
• Roys will finish on top if:
  • They beat the Furies and the Warriors lose to the Phoenix;
• Swamprats will finish on the bottom if:
  • They lose to the Bombers and the Bears don't lose to the Wonders by over 15 free kicks more than what the Swamprats lose by;
  • They draw with the Bombers and the Bears either beat or draw with the Wonders;
• Bears will finish on the bottom if:
  • They lose to the Wonders and the Swamprats either beat or draw with the Bombers;
  • They lose to the Wonders by over 15 free kicks more than what the Swamprats lose by, and the Swamprats lose to the Bombers
  • They draw with the Wonders and the Swamprats beat the Bombers;
  • They beat the Wonders and the Swamprats beat the Bombers by over 15 free kicks more than what the Bears win by.

Figure that sh*t out nerds!

Now to the individual leader boards:

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In the Little Spoon, Gumby Transformer cosplay lover StFly backed up his six frees for in round 14 with another five received in round 15 to take a two kick lead over Pugsley. Perpetual hard luck story Supersuns could only manage two free kicks and is now five off the lead. Gold Citizen Marlowe is a further free behind after receiving six frees last round in an effort that's a bit too little too late, while TheInjuryFactory rounds out the top five on fifty frees for.

Royalty krakouers85 could only concede one free kick in round 15, but that was enough to join Brick Loosener who failed to trouble the qumpires on top of the Big Spoon leader board. Season 31 Little Spoon winner Millky95 has made a late run for glory, giving away four frees to sit one kick off the lead, while Bradesmaen and Fitzey are both a further free kick in arrears.

It comes down to this nerds - one final chance to earn yourselves a spot in free kick history! Every contest is still open, you absolutely love to see it!! Next time I shitpost at you in here there will be winners and losers. Stay tuned...

​

 

[Tonga Bob]

​

 

[Tonga Bob]

OK nerds, here we go.

Season 32 proved to be the closest season in terms of all three main free kick categories since I started on my bullsh*t. Each one came down to the wire, and single decisions (or in some cases brain farts) meant that the overall lead changed hands several times!!! Gripping stuff!

We'll first look at how the free kick table went.

Coming into round 16 the Furies were on top by percentage only from the Warriors, with the Roys two points back in third but with the highest percentage of the three teams. But halfway through the final quarter, it looked as though the Silver Whistle trophy was heading to Van Cortlandt Park. The Warriors were leading the Phoenix by 12 free kicks to 11, while at the hippodrome the Roys were leading the Furies by 15 free kicks to 13. The live ladder at this stage had the Warriors on 46 points, the Roys on 44 points and the Furies on 42 points. Let's pick up the action at the 12 minute mark of the final term.

4 : 12.27 {lFP} - _Mike_ is swamped. Not much prior opportunity but its holding the ball.
4 : 12.31 {rBP} - Stevi_Tigers signals for his teammates to present.

Stevi_Tigers lays a tackle on _Mike_ , the hippodrome crowd yell "BALLLLLLLLL!!!!" and the qumpire rewards the Furies player. Roys still lead 15-14, but the Warriors are still winning at the Eyrie.

4 : 17.55 {rW} - Its hard and tough but TheInjuryFactory wins possession.
4 : 17.59 {rW} - Tries to handball one-handed! And he's been pinged.

But wait! Warriors captain TheInjuryFactory throws the ball away, tying the free kick count with the Phoenix 12 all. Warriors are back to 44 points, dropping to second place behind the Roys on percentage. Has TheInjuryFactory just dropped the Silver Whistle?

4 : 18.34 {lW} - Good bump as FootyGuy13 kicks - enough that the ball sprays over the boundary.
4 : 18.38 {C} - Agent93 has possession.

It gets worse for the Islanders, as Phoenix veteran Agent93 gives Warrior tyro FootyGuy13 a hip and shoulder, forcing him to kick the ball out on the full. Warriors drop back to third place on 42 points. Roys still on top at the hippodrome...

4 : 18.52 {FB} - No-look handpass to Supersuns.
4 : 18.55 {FB} - He's run a long way - penalised.

...or are they? Elite Roy choker Supersuns clears out his head with a massive brain fart and forgets to bounce the ball!! Absolute scenes at the hippodrome as the free kick count is now tied at 15 all, meaning the Furies go to 44 points and leapfrog the Roys back into first place.

4 : 21.19 {rHFF} - Raveneyes is now off and running.
4 : 21.23 {rHFF} - Too high.
4 : 21.27 {lHBF} - The ball is now with akkaps.

Back at the Eyrie now and the Warriors fall two free kicks behind the Phoenix, as Raveneyes gives akkaps the Big Don't Argue but in doing so whacks him right in the head, conceding a free. 14-12 Phoenix now.

4 : 23.22 {CHB} - toxic has been held out of the contest - the whistle has gone.

Warrior midfielder toxic pulls one back, and it's now 14-13 to the Phoenix. Coney Island still sit in third place, as the qumpires at the hippodrome seem to have put away their whistles.

4 : 23.47 {rHBF} - Lord_Flashheart has been held out of the contest - the whistle has gone.

Hold the phones!! Inaugural Frankston Rover Medallist Lord_Flashheart earns a free kick, and it's all square at 15 all! The Warriors go back to 44 points, back to second place and have one minute and 13 second to find a winning free kick. Can they do it?

4 : 24.08 {lW} - crazywildhorse nearly got done for running too far but he remembers to bounce at last.
4 : 24.12 {C} - He beckons for a lead.
4 : 24.14 {C} - Elton Johns Wig slips at the crucial moment and its marked by Dingster.
4 : 24.18 {C} - Running with the ball is Dingster.
4 : 24.22 {C} - Dingster nearly got done for running too far but he remembers to bounce at last.
4 : 24.26 {C} - Almost a throw to Supersuns.

Meanwhile at the hippodrome it seems certain that the qumpires have stopped trying. They let crazywildhorse run a mile before bouncing the ball, before Dingster nearly gives away three separate free kicks - tripping Elton Johns Wig then forgetting to bounce the ball for a while then chucking it to Supersuns. What even is going on right now?

4 : 24.37 {lBP} - Now SaintBilly has the ball. What can he do with it?.
4 : 24.43 {lBP} - Hands it off to por_please_ya.
4 : 24.47 {lBP} - Almost a throw to larrikin.

Returning to the East Side, Phoenix ruck-for-a-day por_please_ya seems to have thrown the ball to larrikin but the qumpires are distracted by captain Chipmunk getting his nuts out and don't pay a free kick.

=====================================
SIREN SOUNDS FOR THE END OF QUARTER 4
Fighting Furies : 15 free kicks (also 16.12.108)
Roys FFC : 15 free kicks (also 15.12.102)
=====================================

The siren's gone at the hippodrome, and the Furies have done enough to stay above the Roys on the free kick table. But can the Warriors pull a rabbit out of the hat?

=====================================
SIREN SOUNDS FOR THE END OF QUARTER 4
East Side Phoenix : 14 free kicks (also 13.10.88)
Coney Island Warriors : 14 free kicks (also 12.5.77)
=====================================

No they cannot. Time runs out and the Warriors are stranded in second place, leaving the Fighting Furies as the season 32 Silver Whistle winners!!!

​

Meanwhile in another part of Sweet, an equally close contest is underway between the Bears and the Swamprats to see who will take out the wooden spoon. At the start of the day the Sin Citizens were bottom of the table thanks to a lower percentage than the Las Vegans. However, both teams remained true to form and lost their free kick counts by five each to the Wonders and the Bombers respectively, therefore consigning the Swamprats to the wooden spoon for season 32. Sucks to be them, but the day was all about the Furies who cap off a thrilling season with their maiden Silver Whistle triumph. And boy don't they look chuffed with their win?

Bastyy Mister M Tigerturbulance GREENESHOOTS U2tigers TJASTA Ned_Flanders Carson Dial Rioli8217 Elton Johns Wig ImissFrosty Edmund hunt Sterge JackBero Wacky Tiger crazywildhorse Grockadoc Brunswick Trap King Stevi_Tigers tigland Tiger2709 ​

Here's how the table finished at the end of the home and away season:

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In the other two games of round 16:

• The Royals and the Demons played out a dour match, which the Gold Citizens won by 8 free kicks to 4. The combined 12 free kicks was the fifth time in Sweet FA history that a dozen free kicks in total were awarded in a match. The only match where there were fewer free kicks awarded was round 8 of season 23 between the Swamprats and the Wonders (many thanks to Hate for digging that fun fact out);
• The Gumbies slayed the Dragons by 18 frees to 8 to end the season in 5th place, meaning the Dragons drop the four places on the table that they gained in round 15 to finish in 8th.

But wait there's more!

Here's an animated line graph showing how each team moved up and down the table over the course of the season. Please consider!

SFA Season 32 Free Kick Ladder

A Flourish data visualisation by Tonga Bob

public.flourish.studio

And finally, here's how the overall free kick table from season 29 onwards looks:

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Next up we'll take a look at how the individual awards finished up.

 

[Tonga Bob]

Next up we'll look at the Little Spoon award for the player that receives the most free kicks. Heading into round 16, it was Gumby cosplayer StFly with a two kick lead over Bomber ball magnet Pugsley. Roy chokemeister Supersuns was third, Royal jester Marlowe fourth and Warrior shoopsmith TheInjuryFactory in fifth.

I'm gonna be honest with you all. I tried to figure out in the match threads where the free kicks were given to these blokes in round 16, but I couldn't for the life of me figure it out. I asked Mozzie19 & Dingster who posted the matches to see if they knew and, unlike Alec Baldwin, drew blanks. I even had the sheer audacity to wake Mobbs up and ask him. He wanted me to answer his riddles three before giving me some arcane Tale of Yore, but to be fair he did help me with some other stuff so I left him to nap some more.

The upshot of all of this is that receiving free kicks is a shady art that is performed by sleight of hand. And the best people to do it this season were...

In equal tenth place were a couple of veterans in Swamprat ant555 and Royal spookism who finished on 44 frees for apiece, ten kicks off the lead.

In ninth spot is anthropomorphic Demon ape pantskyle who 'earned' a respectable 48 kicks from the qumpires.

In eighth place is Phoenix phlyer por_please_ya who raised her proverbial bat by amassing 50 frees for.

Gumby squatter extraordinaire GWS Goose and Wonders skipper (and Squib Game aficionado) Mozzie19 tied in sixth place with 51 frees each.

Getting to the pointy end, Warriors supremo TheInjuryFactory came home with a wet sail and earned five frees for in round sixteen, but had too much of a gap to cover and finished in fifth place on 55 kicks.

Marlowe has many riches, but a Little Spoon trophy is not one of them as the Gold Citizen finished in equal third place. His three frees in round sixteen meant that he caught up with Roy pin cushion Supersuns, whose brace of frees meant that the two of them tied on 57 frees received.

Like couples on IVF, there's a lot of twins so far in the top 10. Spooky hey?

StFly earned himself four frees in round 16, putting him on a total of 64 free kicks which is six ahead of Pugsley. Was the dirty dog up to the challenge?

​

Only just. The Baghdad Beagle picked up exactly six frees for to join StFly on 64 for the season. And, like last season's Mobbs Medal count, Pugsley tied with a Gumby in first place!!!

WE HAVE JOINT LITTLE SPOON WINNERS!!!!!​

Thankfully the budget at Bob's Statisticsᵀᴹ was able to stretch enough for two Little Spoon trophies. Please charge your glasses and join me in congratulating Pugsley from the Baghdad Bombers and StFly from the Gumbies FFC!

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Next up, we'll see what happened in the Big Spoon count. I'll get to it soon, it may be in a day or three though idk.

 

[StFly]

Trust a mutt to come from behind. Next table will sort you out.

 

[Tonga Bob]

Trust a mutt to come from behind. Next table will sort you out.

That’s pretty ruff mate.

 

[Tonga Bob]

OK I think I've left enough of a pause for pure laziness reasons dramatic effect. It's time to see who took out the Big Spoon award for the most free kicks conceded in season 32.

Coming into the final round of the home & away season, it was Brick Loosener from the Gumbies and krakouers85 from the Royals in front on 26 frees conceded, with Las Vegan Millky95 one kick off the lead and the pair of Bradesmaen from the Dragons & another Royal rookie in Fitzey a further free kick behind.

The Bears have been leaking free kicks in recent weeks which augurs well for the Millkman. The Royals were playing the Demons who have also been giving away plenty of frees. Meanwhile despite the free kick fortunes of the Gumbies & Dragons fluctuating over season 32, opposing captains Barrybran & serial_thrilla treated the game as a mini-Derby and lined up Brick Loosener & Bradesmaen on each other on the wing in an old-fashioned free kick shootout. Let's go to the Round 16 Combo-Commentary to reveal how it all played out...

1 : .18 {rW} - Quick hands to Brick Loosener under pressure.
1 : .24 {rW} - Brick Loosener had the opportunity to offload but is caught and will lose the ball.

Brick Loosener isn't here to f*ck spiders apparently, conceding a free kick within the first 30 seconds of play to take the outright lead.

2 : 7.45 {lW} - Bradesmaen wants to get on with proceedings.
2 : 7.51 {lW} - That was a soft free kick. Brick Loosener has it now.

The moon-faced Dragon Bradesmaen concedes one of his own to pull himself up to equal third place.

2 : 11.01 {rW} - Millky95 is now off and running.
2 : 11.04 {rW} - Millky95 kicks to gain distance but the umpire calls deliberate.

Last season's Little Spoon winner Millky95 finds touch but the qumpires are onto him, meaning the Bear is tied with krakouers85 in second place. The dream is still alive!!

2 : 11:07 {rW} - 4: 15:00 {somewhere else}

​

We're now halfway through the final quarter. Brick Loosener still has a one kick lead from krakouers85 and Millky95 while Bradesmaen is two kicks from the lead and Fitzey is probably too far off now. Read on for the exciting climax, nerds...

4 : 15.55 {rW} - Handpass over the shoulder to Millky95.
4 : 16 {rW} - Millky95 is tackled beautifully by Kangaroos4eva.

The crowd at the Colosseum are baying for the qumpire's blood after they don't award a free to Kangaroos4eva for laying a tackle on Millky95

4 : 16.1 {lW} - Bradesmaen takes a bounce and nearly fumbles it.
4 : 16.16 {lW} - Brick Loosener was tripped.

Bradesmaen somehow trips Brick Loosener while having the ball and concedes a late free to bring him up to equal second.

4 : 22.23 {lW} - Bradesmaen nearly got done for running too far but he remembers to bounce at last.
4 : 22.29 {lW} - Brick Loosener was tackled too low.
4 : 22.35 {rW} - Nobody's checking Brick Loosener.

What the sh*t is going on here? Bradesmaen takes an eternity to bounce the ball, and when the qumpires don't award a free kick against him he runs to Brick Loosener and tackles his legs! Absolute scenes at the House of Gumby as the two wingers are now tied in the lead on 27 kicks. Can someone break free of can someone else catch them?

4 : 23.02 {rW} - Kangaroos4eva upset the marking attempt by Millky95.
4 : 23.08 {rW} - Millky95 assessing what lies ahead of him.
4 : 23.12 {rW} - Kangaroos4eva sews Millky95 up in a fantastic tackle.

That's gotta be holding the ball against Millky95 but no, the qumpires want none of it.

The big-arsed siren blows all over Sweet, and all the games have ended.

Time's up for Millky95 and neither krakouers85 nor Fitzey troubled the qumpires. So the two nerds who played on each other finished on the same number of frees conceded, meaning...

WE ALSO HAVE JOINT BIG SPOON WINNERS!!!!!​

The budget at Bob's Stats has really gone down the crapper but stuff it all, we've got two more trophies to hand out! Let's hear it for the joint winners of the Big Spoon for Season 32, Bradesmaen from Dragons FFC and Brick Loosener from Gumbies FFC!!!

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Here's how the top 10 finished:

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Bradesmaen & Brick Loosener tied in first place on 27 kicks conceded, with krakouers85 & Millky95 a solitary free kick back to tie for bronze. Follically-challenged Swamprat veteran ant555 came home with a wet sail to finish in 5th place thanks to him conceding three frees in round 16. Fitzey stalled to finish in joint 6th with darthmann and hotchilli who all had 24 frees against. GotTheGoodes is the third Sin Citizen to make the top 10, with his 23 kicks leaving him in 9th place, while 10th spot was shared between Gumby great beez, token international recruit from the Bombers CursingFijian and Las Vegas standover campaigner tony. Mazel tov to the lot of you.

Stick around over the next couple of days as I provide free kick summaries for all teams. Or not, idk.

 

[damicky]

View attachment 1286388

OK I think I've left enough of a pause for pure laziness reasons dramatic effect. It's time to see who took out the Big Spoon award for the most free kicks conceded in season 32.

Coming into the final round of the home & away season, it was Brick Loosener from the Gumbies and krakouers85 from the Royals in front on 26 frees conceded, with Las Vegan Millky95 one kick off the lead and the pair of Bradesmaen from the Dragons & another Royal rookie in Fitzey a further free kick behind.

The Bears have been leaking free kicks in recent weeks which augurs well for the Millkman. The Royals were playing the Demons who have also been giving away plenty of frees. Meanwhile despite the free kick fortunes of the Gumbies & Dragons fluctuating over season 32, opposing captains Barrybran & serial_thrilla treated the game as a mini-Derby and lined up Brick Loosener & Bradesmaen on each other on the wing in an old-fashioned free kick shootout. Let's go to the Round 16 Combo-Commentary to reveal how it all played out...


Brick Loosener isn't here to f*ck spiders apparently, conceding a free kick within the first 30 seconds of play to take the outright lead.


The moon-faced Dragon Bradesmaen concedes one of his own to pull himself up to equal third place.


Last season's Little Spoon winner Millky95 finds touch but the qumpires are onto him, meaning the Bear is tied with krakouers85 in second place. The dream is still alive!!

View attachment 1286398​

We're now halfway through the final quarter. Brick Loosener still has a one kick lead from krakouers85 and Millky95 while Bradesmaen is two kicks from the lead and Fitzey is probably too far off now. Read on for the exciting climax, nerds...


The crowd at the Colosseum are baying for the qumpire's blood after they don't award a free to Kangaroos4eva for laying a tackle on Millky95


Bradesmaen somehow trips Brick Loosener while having the ball and concedes a late free to bring him up to equal second.


What the sh*t is going on here? Bradesmaen takes an eternity to bounce the ball, and when the qumpires don't award a free kick against him he runs to Brick Loosener and tackles his legs! Absolute scenes at the House of Gumby as the two wingers are now tied in the lead on 27 kicks. Can someone break free of can someone else catch them?


That's gotta be holding the ball against Millky95 but no, the qumpires want none of it.


Time's up for Millky95 and neither krakouers85 nor Fitzey troubled the qumpires. So the two nerds who played on each other finished on the same number of frees conceded, meaning...

WE ALSO HAVE JOINT BIG SPOON WINNERS!!!!!​

View attachment 1286424View attachment 1286426

The budget at Bob's Stats has really gone down the crapper but stuff it all, we've got two more trophies to hand out! Let's hear it for the joint winners of the Big Spoon for Season 32, Bradesmaen from Dragons FFC and Brick Loosener from Gumbies FFC!!!

View attachment 1286428
View attachment 1286430​

Here's how the top 10 finished:

View attachment 1286431​

Bradesmaen & Brick Loosener tied in first place on 27 kicks conceded, with krakouers85 & Millky95 a solitary free kick back to tie for bronze. Follically-challenged Swamprat veteran ant555 came home with a wet sail to finish in 5th place thanks to him conceding three frees in round 16. Fitzey stalled to finish in joint 6th with darthmann and hotchilli who all had 24 frees against. GotTheGoodes is the third Sin Citizen to make the top 10, with his 23 kicks leaving him in 9th place, while 10th spot was shared between Gumby great beez, token international recruit from the Bombers CursingFijian and Las Vegas standover campaigner tony. Mazel tov to the lot of you.

Stick around over the next couple of days as I provide free kick summaries for all teams. Or not, idk.

Apart from everybody, who said Free Kicks couldn’t be exciting?!?

That was an amazing ride

 

[Tonga Bob]

Apart from everybody, who said Free Kicks couldn’t be exciting?!?

That was an amazing ride

Yep pretty much everyone apart from me. And you now!

 

[Bradesmaen]

Well done Brick Loosener, our rigging of the award worked.

 

[Barrybran]

If you need to elbow someone in the head call Brick Loosener. Any day, any time. Maximum concussion guaranteed.

 

[Tonga Bob]

Hello again. Because there aren't enough ways to skin a cat, here's a table with the free kick differentials for each player (many thanks to serial_thrilla for extracting these from the Font of Statistical Knowledge):

PLAYER             FF    FA   FKD
PUGSLEY             64    11    53
STFLY               64    18    46
MARLOWE             57    12    45
SUPERSUNS           57    15    42
THEINJURYF          55    17    38
GWS GOOSE           51    13    38
POR_PLEASE          50    13    37
PANTSKYLE           48    16    32
MOZZIE19            51    20    31
SPOOKISM            44    14    30
T2B_                39    10    29
TIGERTURBU          39    11    28
A SWALLOW           43    16    27
PHILREICH           40    14    26
ZEVON               32     8    24
SM                  37    13    24
U2TIGERS            29     8    21
ROBR                32    11    21
ANT555              44    25    19
THE HALF B          32    13    19
MISTER M            21     2    19
BRENTON DA          24     6    18
MUDDIEMOOS          33    15    18
GREENESHOO          33    16    17
HAYDO               24    10    14
MILLKY95            38    26    12
FITZROYBOW          24    13    11
RIVIAT              26    15    11
WESTERN ST          14     4    10
MANNUMPOWE          21    12     9
WOSH                25    16     9
CALLUMS_GU          18     9     9
HATE                22    14     8
LARRIKIN            17    10     7
MIKE123             22    15     7
SAUSAGEROL          16    10     6
BROKEN              18    12     6
BEANDIP              7     2     5
COONEY              15    10     5
MITS                11     6     5
ROOKIEPICK          12     7     5
CARSON DIA          10     5     5
AKKAPS               6     1     5
BONZ                 8     4     4
BEEG                11     7     4
DAV                 17    13     4
JT_THE_MAN           9     5     4
ELECTRONIC          20    16     4
HAWKAUSSIE           6     2     4
SNUFFALUPH           7     4     3
HAWKPATROL           3     0     3
LOONERTY             8     5     3
GREYCROW            21    18     3
HEADLESS             8     5     3
LORE                 7     4     3
GROCKADOC            3     0     3
RUNK                 3     1     2
WINDYHILL            5     3     2
MOOCH                9     7     2
DRUNKGOLIA           6     4     2
VANDOHAWK            7     5     2
STRIGOI             23    21     2
RAVENEYES            8     6     2
HEARDY_101           4     2     2
PROPER GAN           9     7     2
SAINTKILDA           5     3     2
EAGLEOZ              8     6     2
THE FILTH            8     6     2
BASTYY               9     7     2
CROWINFIJI           2     0     2
JEZMIESTER           3     1     2
THEDARKDWA           6     5     1
CATSNLAKER           9     8     1
RPCB                 5     4     1
BARRELS              3     2     1
ALLIKAT              9     8     1
GOLUMLESS            6     5     1
SCHMUTTT             1     0     1
HATCHY1992           2     1     1
DERO                 4     3     1
BONE2468             6     5     1
SHAUNDUGGA           9     8     1
HAROLAD             14    13     1
JABBA73              5     4     1
CUZZ09               1     0     1
WALKER_THE           2     1     1
STEVI_TIGE           6     5     1
RU_                  4     3     1
BRAHJ                3     2     1
ARISTOTLE            8     8     0
RED MIST             6     6     0
ITSMYSHOW           10    10     0
CHIEF                8     8     0
TUBBSFARQU           4     4     0
TOUMP ASS            1     1     0
JMOO WAN             8     8     0
PETERSS              2     2     0
CRAFFLES             2     2     0
SWEETD               1     1     0
CRUSTY UND           1     1     0
RFCTIGERAR           0     0     0
LYNCHY04             3     3     0
OK BOOMER            8     8     0
KANE249              3     3     0
ODDHAWK              0     0     0
LICORICEAL           1     1     0
JACKENNY             0     0     0
NEAR KERN            1     1     0
QUIVORIR             1     1     0
SARAHSMILE           4     5    -1
SATARIS              8     9    -1
TEDDOUGCHR           9    10    -1
SERIAL_THR           2     3    -1
FREOFALCON           3     4    -1
MOFRA                8     9    -1
DOCKERDEN5          18    19    -1
BLUEE                2     3    -1
BALLARATBU           7     8    -1
LUKEPARKER           8     9    -1
MC BAD GEN           3     4    -1
NED_FLANDE           5     6    -1
LADY GODAV           2     3    -1
TEST TICKL           3     4    -1
TALKINGFOO           3     4    -1
MIGGS                3     4    -1
POWERRRRRR           9    11    -2
FIRESTARTE          10    12    -2
GREMIOPOWE          10    12    -2
STOODS               6     8    -2
LORD_FLASH          12    14    -2
DINSDALE             9    11    -2
IMISSFROST           8    10    -2
TARKYN_24           13    15    -2
AZAROLE              3     5    -2
WHEREAREMY           2     4    -2
NED RYERSO           2     4    -2
SSWANS2011           8    10    -2
PADDLES_             0     2    -2
MRPREMIERS           7     9    -2
PMBANGERS            4     6    -2
STERGE               9    11    -2
KILROY              13    15    -2
FIZZLER              1     3    -2
SNOZULU              6     8    -2
CHAPPYUK             2     4    -2
DANGER IN            1     3    -2
FROTHIES M           4     6    -2
BL4KE                0     2    -2
MIKE ROSS           15    18    -3
THEWIZARDM          16    19    -3
11KGM                4     7    -3
NINJASWAN            4     7    -3
BRINGBACKT          15    18    -3
DEMONJIM             4     7    -3
GRIMESY87            8    11    -3
BOMBERLEGE           0     3    -3
GRUMBLEGUT           2     5    -3
ULAHOOPSKI           4     7    -3
TIGER2709            7    10    -3
JACKBERO             0     3    -3
TJASTA               0     3    -3
KICKTHETHI           9    12    -3
METALCRUSH           6     9    -3
BOVO                 1     4    -3
ART VANDEL           6     9    -3
VOLBEAT             14    17    -3
COMPACT72            2     5    -3
BRAB                 5     8    -3
CHEZZALENK           2     5    -3
CAMPAIGNER           4     7    -3
TOMMYCASH            6     9    -3
RELAXMAX             3     6    -3
CATS_R_COO          12    16    -4
JACKNAH_8            5     9    -4
AGENT93             13    17    -4
DADDY_4_EY           4     8    -4
RASKOLNIKO           7    11    -4
PIE 4 LIFE           1     5    -4
PIGGY SMAL           3     7    -4
ZACKAH               2     6    -4
TOXIC                5     9    -4
BEINPURPLE           1     5    -4
YAKKER               4     8    -4
JIVLAIN              9    13    -4
DOGS105              8    12    -4
TIGLAND              9    13    -4
CARTERS              1     5    -4
IDON                15    19    -4
SPUDDD               5     9    -4
COLD SOBER           2     6    -4
CACTUS_              6    10    -4
PVF                  8    12    -4
ETH-DOG              7    12    -5
MOORESOME            0     5    -5
ASHMAN OG            6    11    -5
LJP86                9    14    -5
CATS2RISE            2     7    -5
BARRYBRAN            6    11    -5
RODNEY DAN           9    14    -5
KANGAROOS4           6    11    -5
JEZZAJAY             6    11    -5
CLARKEM              6    11    -5
RIOLI8217           11    16    -5
TONY LYNN            3     8    -5
ANTONIO BL          13    18    -5
JOSHWOODEN           2     7    -5
MWPP                 6    11    -5
ANT BEAR             2     8    -6
FREO_4EVA            0     6    -6
CHIPMUNK             2     8    -6
TY24                 1     7    -6
MILERA2BET           9    15    -6
TONGA BOB           11    17    -6
FOOTYGUY13           9    15    -6
BLUELEGS            15    21    -6
VAN_DYKE             9    15    -6
OMGFRIDGE            6    12    -6
NSWCROW              1     7    -6
ELMER_JUDD           5    11    -6
EDMUND HUN           0     6    -6
ELTON JOHN          15    21    -6
BLUEALLTHR          13    19    -6
ANGRYRANGA           4    10    -6
TERRYBULL            8    14    -6
SANTE                3     9    -6
JACKSTER83           6    13    -7
TICKY009             4    11    -7
DINGSTER            13    20    -7
KOHPHI               6    13    -7
THE JESUS            3    10    -7
OSC1                 7    14    -7
MATERA92            10    17    -7
MANANGATAN           0     7    -7
QUADZILLA            3    11    -8
_MIKE_               5    13    -8
DJ75                 7    15    -8
NATURALDIS           5    13    -8
MOGINIE             12    20    -8
CROWEATER            7    15    -8
SMARTYS PO           6    14    -8
DAMICKY             12    20    -8
BRUNSWICK            5    13    -8
THECOACH16           4    12    -8
CURSINGFIJ          14    22    -8
MARKLAR_33           2    10    -8
BLAZE STOR           6    14    -8
HOTCHILLI           15    24    -9
FUMBLER              9    18    -9
LINGUA IGN          12    21    -9
ENGIMAL V3           8    17    -9
FITZEY              15    24    -9
DANCING PO           7    16    -9
CRAZYWILDH          10    19    -9
WACKY TIGE           3    12    -9
HIRDSTHEWO           6    16   -10
POWER RAID           4    14   -10
MOBBS                5    15   -10
ROYBOY2              4    14   -10
MATT_352             4    14   -10
KNIFEY SPO           5    15   -10
PICKITT              2    12   -10
DORY_77              5    15   -10
KRAKOUERS8          16    26   -10
CAKEEATER            5    15   -10
I DONT CAR          10    20   -10
GOTTHEGOOD          12    23   -11
SAINTBILLY          10    21   -11
BONCER34             5    16   -11
BLACKY               6    17   -11
SOGGY2112            6    17   -11
THETICK              7    18   -11
MOO                  3    15   -12
BEEZ                10    22   -12
HERE2TELLY           4    16   -12
ZOOPS                6    19   -13
SHERMY               2    16   -14
BRICK LOOS          13    27   -14
BRADESMAEN          12    27   -15
NAHNAH               6    21   -15
TONY                 7    22   -15
DARTHMANN            7    24   -17

Even thought the top five were the same for both total free kicks received and most positive free kick differentials, Pugsley had six fewer frees against than StFly did. Marlowe had the third best differential, followed by Supersuns and TheInjuryFactory

Bradesmaen and Brick Loosener on the other hand were the only players in the 15 with the most negative differentials to have more than 10 frees for, making them equal second and equal 5th respectively. Sin Citizen darthmann had the lowest differential with -17, with tony and nahnah joining Bradesmaen in second. Shermy joined Brick Loosener in equal 5th thanks to only receiving two (2) free kicks all season.

Coming up next are the End of Season Team Reviews.

 

[Agent93]

Sin Citizen @darthmann had the lowest differential with -17

What a liability that guy is.

 

[Tonga Bob]

OK nerds, here comes the team summaries beginning with the Babylonians. Pretty even season for them. Did well at home, not so well away and free kicks had no impact on their qooty results whatsoever. Pugsley received the equal most kicks while CursingFijian just scraped into the top 10 for frees conceded.

Pugsley RobR iDon CursingFijian HaroLad BLUEALLTHRU Antonio BlueVein Here2tellyouwhy ​

 

[Tonga Bob]

My Wazzas are next. Only just made it to a positive free kick differential late in the season. Where they played had not much impact on free kicks, but their qooty results were certainly impacted by the qumpire's whistle. Individually, it was TheInjuryFactory who troubled the qumpires the most, although The Half Back & The Notorious DAV may have received more love with more s32 games under their belts.

TheInjuryFactory The Half Back DockerDen5215 The Notorious DAV Volbeat FootyGuy13 Moo ​

 

[Tonga Bob]

The Drags had a funny old season. Equal 5th on points but with one of the lowest percentages in the league who copped a hiding away from home and, like the Warriors, had a strong correlation between their qooty results and their free kick results. They did however jump off the bottom of the overall free kick table so there was some positives out of the season. Speaking of, Bradesmaen has already been singled out as a fiend when giving away frees however Strigoi was another culprit. On the flip side, A Swallow and T2B_ were within the top 15 for frees received which is surprising because they are both clumsy as f*ck.

A Swallow T2B_ Strigoi BringBackTheAnchor Bradesmaen fumbler​