Comical Simpsons Quotes as they apply to Footy and Footballers

[GuzzLG]

Blackheart: I've had lots of jobs in my day: whale-hunter, seal-clubber, president of the Fox network, and, like most people, yeah, I've dealt a little ivory.

 

[Burzum]

Burns: What's that you say? You can live without television so long as
you have _beer_?
Homer: [defiantly] That's right.
Burns: [ominously] Wrong. All beer trucks heading towards Springfield
have been diverted...this town will be as dry as a bone. And if
the rest of you beer-swilling tube-jockeys out there have a
problem with this, talk to Homer Simpson.
[The doorbell rings, and Homer answers it]
Barney: [brandishing a gun] Homer, give him what he wants!

 

[RandB]

Bart: “I never thought it was humanly possible, but this both sucks and blows.”

 

[Hard Ball Get]

Rainier Wolfcastle: My eyes! The goggles do nothing!

 

[Dagless]

Rainier Wolfcastle: My eyes! The goggles do nothing!

lol great

 

[raskolnikov]

Homer: "It's true, I'm a Rageaholic.....I just can't live without Rageahol!"

 

[Crimson King]

^ Good one.

 

[Miguel Sanchez]

who's the top bloke?

I'm sure Dylan Howard's never been called that before.

 

[Miguel Sanchez]

Chief Wiggum: That's some nice reckless driving, Mr B.

 

[rupert pupkin 87]

Everyone (at Carlton): Ooh! Aah.
Man 1 (Brett Ratten): What's normal to him amazes us.
Man 2 (Richard Pratt): He will be our new god.
Everyone (at Carlton): Yay!

hahaha that's gold it's fuuny because it is true

 

[GuzzLG]

Bart: I could sure go for 100 tacos right about now.

(In honour of the 100th page).

 

[Ant_]

Police : Can we come in?

Snake : Sorry, pig. We can't make that promise.

 

[Dagless]

Police : Can we come in?

Snake : Sorry, pig. We can't make that promise.

...

 

[Miguel Sanchez]

(this one hurts)

Jimbo: Hey! You're that drunken posse. Wow...can I join ya?

Homer: I don't know...can you swing a sack of door knobs?
Jimbo: Can I?
Homer: You're in! Here's the sack.
Moe: But you gotta supply your own knobs.

 

[AGC]

(this one hurts)

Jimbo: Hey! You're that drunken posse. Wow...can I join ya?

Homer: I don't know...can you swing a sack of door knobs?
Jimbo: Can I?
Homer: You're in! Here's the sack.
Moe: But you gotta supply your own knobs.

Lol how true.

 

[AGC]

Hans Molman: Drinking has ruined my life, I'm 31 year old.

 

[SouthSwans]

(this one hurts)

Jimbo: Hey! You're that drunken posse. Wow...can I join ya?

Homer: I don't know...can you swing a sack of door knobs?
Jimbo: Can I?
Homer: You're in! Here's the sack.
Moe: But you gotta supply your own knobs.

Brilliant.

 

[2 Dogs]

Homer: Hello son. Where have you been?
Bart: Playing with Milhouse.
Homer: NO YOU HAVEN'T! You've been out galavanting around with that floozy of a bigger brother. Haven't you? HAVEN'T YOU? Look at me!

 

[tin can sam]

I won't quote it, but the Chris Masten one is absolute gold.

 

[triplejdude]

Homer: Hello son. Where have you been?
Bart: Playing with Milhouse.
Homer: NO YOU HAVEN'T! You've been out galavanting around with that floozy of a bigger brother. Haven't you? HAVEN'T YOU? Look at me!

HAHA
Gold

 

[Ron The Bear]

A woman is like a beer. They smell good. They look good. You'd step over your own mother just to get one...[glug glug glug]...But you can't stop at one - you want to drink another woman...

 

[MightyFighting]

Woman 1: He a monster!
Woman 2: Run, children!

 

[deedog2]

Homer: We've been together a long time, now. When are we gonna ... you know?Marge: Soon. I just need a few more yoga classes.

 

[deedog2]

Homer: Oh, I get it. When I'm crushing and killing you, you don't like me. But when can save your life, suddenly I'm Mr. Popular.Lenny: Yeah, that's pretty much it.Homer: Woo hoo! I'm Mr. Popular!

 

[deedog2]

Homer: [yawns] I haven't had buffalo in six hours. Marge, how about whipping up some buffalo sausage, huevos buffaleros, and some fresh-squeezed buffalo J.Marge: The buffalo are gone. I think you shot them all.