Dwayne ' shit commentator ' Russell - PART 2 in 3d

[Rich]

I'd like to knuckle Dwayne. And by knuckle I mean beat with a 2-be-4.

'Gives him the Elvis hips' is his new phrase. Heard it in two separate games last week.

Oh dear. Didn’t hear that one, is it a variation of the “shake and bake”?

 

[Hoos]

'Gives him the Elvis hips' is his new phrase. Heard it in two separate games last week.

WTF does that even mean? I think he's getting worse by the game.

 

[Private Hudson]

He’s just taking the piss now isn’t he ? Surely ?

 

[Hoos]

He’s just taking the piss now isn’t he ? Surely ?

I hope he is, but I don't think so. He comes across to me as ignorant, arrogant, and totally oblivious to how ridiculous he sounds.

He was talked up earlier in the season on a Foxtel promo as, and I quote, "the best caller in the game". He probably gets told how great he is every week.

 

[richoatthedisco]

Oh dear. Didn’t hear that one, is it a variation of the “shake and bake”?

The first time I heard it was in conjunction with the shake and bake. "Does the shake and bake, gives him the Elvis hips!"

 

[richoatthedisco]

WTF does that even mean?

It means, "I am a farkwit."

 

[Hoos]

It means, "I am a farkwit."

I haven't met anyone who has heard him, who doesn't think he's a complete f**kwit.

 

[Uncle_Leo]

He must read this thread

Dwayne if you are out there I want a Seinfeld reference in a game this week. I want you to say “That’s gold Jerry! Gold!” When someone kicks a goal and then talk about Gil having dinner with the coaches and ask like Kenny Banya if that counts as the meal. Forget the play just do this so we know you are out there.

Alternatively if someone gets hit in the mouth say “I hope he isn’t an anti dentite”

 

[Dogs Rule]

I'm at the point where if he's commentating I will turn off the TV and listen to the radio call.

He's not even so bad he's good, he's so bad he's a f***wit.

 

[Rich]

He must read this thread

Dwayne if you are out there I want a Seinfeld reference in a game this week. I want you to say “That’s gold Jerry! Gold!” When someone kicks a goal and then talk about Gil having dinner with the coaches and ask like Kenny Banya if that counts as the meal. Forget the play just do this so we know you are out there.

Alternatively if someone gets hit in the mouth say “I hope he isn’t an anti dentite”

When someone gives away a silly free kick, I want to hear “people - they’re the worst...”

 

[Uncle_Leo]

When someone gives away a silly free kick, I want to hear “people - they’re the worst...”

“Jarrad Waite gets it on the wing, so old now he must be thinking about moving to Del Boca Vista”

 

[Wayne Dwop]

He must read this thread

Dwayne if you are out there I want a Seinfeld reference in a game this week. I want you to say “That’s gold Jerry! Gold!” When someone kicks a goal and then talk about Gil having dinner with the coaches and ask like Kenny Banya if that counts as the meal. Forget the play just do this so we know you are out there.

Alternatively if someone gets hit in the mouth say “I hope he isn’t an anti dentite”

Holy crap...don't encourage the fcuking idiot.

 

[Uncle_Leo]

Holy crap...don't encourage the fcuking idiot.

I just confirmation he is reading this and how much we all hate him

 

[TeeKray]

Another commentator (can't remember which one) used shake and bake last weekend. This man is like a disease.

 

[King_Steele]

That’s got cream dripping off it!

 

[mr bagcroft]

I want to drown him in my sack juice.
Drown him in your sack juice Bagcroft!

 

[david addison]

On radio this week somebody suggested to Dwayne that there's no need for more rule changes. The game's in no worse state than it was 30 years ago. It only seems that way because we broadcast every game now instead of one or two. In response, Dwayne says 'the fact that we broadcast every game now means we need to find a way to make every game great.' I say good luck with that.

 

[Chuckie357]

I like that ad on foxtel where they have the cartoons with the commentary and derwayne says “give us the shotgun”

 

[mr bagcroft]

On radio this week somebody suggested to Dwayne that there's no need for more rule changes. The game's in no worse state than it was 30 years ago. It only seems that way because we broadcast every game now instead of one or two. In response, Dwayne says 'the fact that we broadcast every game now means we need to find a way to make every game great.' I say good luck with that.

Yeah thats just pandering to young people these days, who for the majority are a bunch of *********. No attention span whatsoever. Pea size brains. **** em.

 

[SugarShane]

It is App-ness though. I do agree that he's a worm that needs to **** off though.

The family probably just pronounces it like that because they don't want to sound like monkeys. Just like this family I know with the surname Cockshell, they insist it's pronounced "Co-shell". Nah mates, it's ****-shell. You don't get to change the rules of English just because it's embarassing to have **** or ape in your name.

 

[Beerfish]

The family probably just pronounces it like that because they don't want to sound like monkeys. Just like this family I know with the surname Cockshell, they insist it's pronounced "Co-shell". Nah mates, it's ****-shell. You don't get to change the rules of English just because it's embarassing to have **** or ape in your name.

Yep. Went to school with a Mycock who tried to tell everyone it was Myco. Heh. No dice campaigner. I mean ****.

 

[SugarShane]

Dwayne says 'the fact that we broadcast every game now means we need to find a way to make every game great.' I say good luck with that.

So this is why he feels the need to talk up wooden spoon games as if they're prelim finals, and claim that every single game has a goal and mark of the year.

 

[Uncle_Leo]

The family probably just pronounces it like that because they don't want to sound like monkeys. Just like this family I know with the surname Cockshell, they insist it's pronounced "Co-shell". Nah mates, it's ****-shell. You don't get to change the rules of English just because it's embarassing to have **** or ape in your name.

 

[david addison]

It was 2002 I believe that Dwayne first contaminated the Melbourne airwaves. By sheer coincidence these celebrities died the very same year:

Dee Dee Ramone
Dudley Moore
Milton Berle
James Coburn
Billy Wilder
Joe Strummer
Richard Harris
John Entwistle
John Gotti
Peggy Lee
Layne Staley
Spike Milligan
Lisa Lopez
Hansie Cronje
Rosemary Clooney
George Roy Hill
Bruce Paltrow
Robert Urich
Princess Margaret
and last but certainly not least, Linda Lovelace.

It's my understanding that these people learned of Dwayne's fledgling career, and made a suicide pact. They didn't want to live in a world where Dwayne Russell commentates football. They did the right thing. Dwayne needs to apologise for robbing us of such talented people. Especially Ms. Lovelace. I know Dwayne tries to honour her legacy by engaging in sick sexual practices, but it's not enough. If the Pies coach doesn't sue Dwayne for defamation after tonight's effort, I don't know what I'll do. Can't take any more. I've absolutely had it. By the way, this is Mark Brayshaw. Mark is head of the coaches association. He is a spineless, lazy bastard who lets snakes like Dwayne treat coaches like pieces of excrement. If anybody knows what Mark does with all his free time I'd love to know.

 

[Mentallo]

Deeerrrrwayne has also benefited more than anyone from the sad deaths of David Hookes & Clinton Grybas.