Dwayne ' shit commentator ' Russell - PART 2 in 3d

[Interceptor]

Watching your team get smashed while listening to this epic peanut screaming like an orgasmic banshee about it, is the definition of hell.

That's a terrific way of describing the experience
Case in point was Port's 3rd qtr comeback in recent Showdown match.
Belting Port in the last though was a double win -the game and shutting down the guy who had earlier presented a guernsey to a debut player in the Port changerooms

 

[Bristol]

I think the thing is, Russell could be a good caller. Unlike some others here, I think he's got a good voice for commentary. He loves the game, he enjoys studying the history of players, and he certainly has the ability to fill air.

Very true. I met him once at 3AW and we were in a relatively small sound proof room - carpeted floors, ceiling and walls - and his voice was that deep and powerful it still felt like it echoed around the room. His voice is good, if he just kept his commentary simple and made standard comments he'd be the best.

 

[KeithBlight]

Very true. I met him once at 3AW and we were in a relatively small sound proof room - carpeted floors, ceiling and walls - and his voice was that deep and powerful it still felt like it echoed around the room. His voice is good, if he just kept his commentary simple and made standard comments he'd be the best.

So they finally put Dwayne in a padded cell!

That's CRAZYGOOD!

 

[kennerado]

You bet it is!

 

[Sprout]

It's party time!!

 

[cmndstab]

Heard Port assistant coach Hocking on the radio here in Adelaide today. He was talking about the need to shut down opposition playmakers, which he called "the firestarters".

I nearly threw up.

 

[davywap]

Two minutes into the second quarter.

"BIGGEST LEAD OF THE GAME!"

He did that in the Pies vs Port match too, but about 20 minutes into the first quarter. **** I thought Tim Lane was bad.

 

[Gray Day]

I recall a few players 'parting the seas' in the Showdown

Love ya Dwayno

 

[half_back_flank]

"Shorts it, oh it's a poor short"


Will replace 'kick' in his vocabulary very soon and a long kick will be a long short.

 

[MarcusP2]

^ I heard that today and was like wtf. Short is not a noun.

There was a brilliant Dwayne 'shorts it' -> 'got it on the paint' -> 'that's crazy good' chain in the game as well. The man has become a parody of himself.

 

[Beerfish]

There was a brilliant Dwayne 'shorts it' -> 'got it on the paint' -> 'that's crazy good' chain in the game as well. The man has become a parody of himself.

Just needed a "get and go" to complete the set there.

 

[davywap]

yesterday with 5 minutes to go and swans down by about 33 points he says "time now of the essence for the swans". i think by then focussing on next week was now of the essence dwayne-o

 

[handy point]

Chaos ball at Subi already.

 

[brucetiki]

And that same play where he said not quite a 50 but a 45.

Butcher was about 70 metres from goal. Derwayne: 'Shouldn't he have been brought to the goal square' (with sidekick Healy agreeing)

 

[Mentallo]

there has already been a "firestarter" and an "ignitor" at Subi today.

 

[Keys]

Fremantle could be within one game of top spot of they win apparently

He's already said it twice

 

[Sharks On A Plane]

Why the **** is this clown so obsessed with the score right from the outset of the game? His need to force drama from beginning to end is beyond perplexing. Why can't he just let the game develop organically?

I seriously wouldn't be surprised if next week a player kicks the first score of the game and Dwayne informs us that 'That's the biggest lead of the match!!!!!!!111111'.

 

[TubbsFarquhar]

What about when he brought up the Crows overlooking Pav for McGregor? Why not all the other clubs that overlooked him? Absolute clown.

 

[policegetthatman]

When the umpire didn't call the Freo player holding the ball:

"That's one of the decisions of the year!!!"

 

[Eagle Empire]

Although I understand why he has his detractors, I'm of the opinion that Russell has the best voice in the business

 

[Mentallo]

Although I understand why he has his detractors, I'm of the opinion that Russell has the best voice in the business

Thanks Deeerwayne. And you clearly love the sound of it.

He was at his inane best this arvo. I think he might have had a read of this thread before going on air.

 

[TubbsFarquhar]

Although I understand why he has his detractors, I'm of the opinion that Russell has the best voice in the business

That's the frustrating thing. He actually has a very good commentary voice and has potential to be a great commentator but his inane comments, clueless observations and cliches make him unbearable.

 

[The Speaker]

Although I understand why he has his detractors, I'm of the opinion that Russell has the best voice in the business

He does.

Unfortunately he also has to say things with that voice.

 

[Confuscius]

At his idiotic best yesterday

Johnson marking 70+ metres from the goal, wind at his back though I'm not sure how strong the wind was...

"Can he reach it from there!!"

It was obvious that he was never going to 'reach it', Johnson kicks to the pack in front of the goal square, ball comes out to the same area, except Sandilands marks.

"And now he doesn't want to have a crack!"

Well, no, probably because he's 70 metres out on the boundary. Sandilands does the same as Johnson, eventually a free is paid to Port, who kick it out of bounds on the full on the other side of the ground. Ballantyne takes the free, 55 metres out.

"He's kicked from here before!!! It was an opportunity for the game!!! KICKABLE BY HIS STANDARDS!!!"

Well I'm not sure what standards he's using, as Ballantyne missed with the shot he was referencing. Also, 'kickable by his standards' would have to be one of his most overused phrases, I remember he said it about maybe Motlop from Geelong in the preseason, who had the ball tight on the boundary. The same Motlop who had kicked (according to wikipedia) 2 goals up to that point. What standards are you using Dwayne?

Then in the last, my personal favourite, "Cassisi, a tumbler, a little chaos ball". There are different sized Chaos Balls now.

Not to mention his use of 'some more vertical footy'.

All in the space of 10 minutes of play

And I just remembered that in round two he called Leigh Montagna 'Mr Inside 50'.

I feel sick now

 

[muzzington]

I think it's clear he has to tone it down or go completely and utterly over the top. Then people will love him.

"Ryan Crowley throws the ball to the umpire, that's CRAZY GOOD! The umpire throws it in, that is MAJESTIC! He's a Magician!"