Favorite movie quotes

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Originally posted by Jars458
"Yes its true, this man has no d ick" - Bill Murray, Ghostbusters.


"My name is Inigio Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die" - Princess Bride

"Inconceivable" - Princess Bride
Click to expand...

Ah, such classics - I want my Avatar back!! :)

"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is
selling something."

"I don't envy you the headache you'll have when you awake. But in the meantime, rest well, and dream of large women."

Dana: "Do you want this body?"
Venkman: "Is that a trick question?"
Dana: "I want you inside me."
Venkman: "That's not a good idea. From the looks of things, I'd say there are at least two people in there already."

Dr Evil: "That makes me angry, and when Dr. Evil gets angry, Mr.
Bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets
upset....people DIE!!!"

Austin Powers: "I put the 'grr' in swinger baby!"

The Genii: "Enough about you, Casanova! Talk about her! She's smart, fun, the hair, the eyes - pick a feature!"

"Houston, we have a problem"

"Do you really think you have a chance against us, Mister Cowboy?"
"Yippee-ki-yay, motherf*cker!"

"Do you feel lucky punk? Well do ya?"

"Go ahead make my day"

Dr. Emmet Brown: "Then tell me, 'future boy', who is president in the United States in 1985?"
Marty McFly: "Ronald Reagan."
Dr. Emmet Brown: "Ronald Reagan? The actor?! Who's Vice President? Jerry Lewis?"

The Joker: "Wait 'til they getta loada me"
The Joker: "Where does he get those wonderful toys?"

"Who are you?! "
"I'm Batman."

Frank Drebin: "It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day."

Frank Drebin:"The truth hurts doesn't it, Hapsburg? Oh, sure maybe not as much as jumping on a bike with the seat missing..."

Phil Connors: "Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today."

Ferris: "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it."

And an all-time classic ;)

Col. Nathan R. Jessup: "You want answers?"
Daniel Kaffee: "I think I'm entitled."
Col. Nathan R. Jessup: "You want answers?"
Daniel Kaffee: "I want the truth!"
Col. Nathan R. Jessup: "You can't handle the truth!"
 

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"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die."

- Batty in Blade Runner
 
Flying High
"Surely you can't be serious!"
"I am. And don't call me Shirley."

Grosse Point Blank
"I'm not a psychopath; a psychopath kills for no reason. I kill for money!"

Silence of the Lambs
"A census-taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti. ft ft ft ft ft ft"
 
Mad Max

Bubba: "We're here to meet a friend, come in on the train"
Old Man: "Nothing came in on the train except a couple of crates and a coffin"
Bubba: "Our friend"

Onlooker: "Wonder what happened to it? Looks like it was chewed up and spat out"
Bubba: "Perhaps is was the result of an anxiety"

Toecutter: "That there is Candolini and Candolini want's his hand back"
Jessie: "I want my baby, give me my baby"
Toecutter: Tell you what....I'll swap you"

Mad Max 2

Toady: "Greetings from The Humungus! The Lord Humungus! The Warrior of the Wasteland! The Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla!

Wez: "Don't waste him, if he's alive, I want him"

Wez: "YOU! You can RUN, but you can't HIDE!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Good As It Gets

Melvin: "Quit worrying. You'll be back on your knees in no time"

Melvin: "Helen the waitress, Simon the ***"

Receptionist: How do you write women so well?
Melvin: Easy. I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability

Melvin: People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
Mama Ragetti: We could have retired in Hawaii!
Grandpa Gustafson: I have been to Hawaii.
Mama Ragetti: Oh yeah? Which island?
Grandpa Gustafson: Come-on-I-wanna-lay-ya.
Mama Ragetti: I find you disgusting.
Grandpa Gustafson: Well, just as long as you find me!

- Grumpier Old Men

Paul Finch: Grandmotherf***er.
Steve Stifler: Motherf***er.
Paul Finch: Yes, I am!

- American Wedding
 
Paula: So when the French Mustard is between the teriyaki sauce and the sea salt it's offside.
- Bend It Like Beckham

Agent Thompson: You!
Agent Smith: Yes, me.
[turns Thompson into another Smith]
Agent Smith: Me... me... me...
Agent Smith Clone: Me too.

Bane: Oh God!
Agent Smith: Smith will suffice.

Trinity: How about you sample this?
- The Matrix Reloaded

Foley: The sign says shut the f**k up, or can't you boys read? <pointing to "quiet please" sign>
- Out of Sight

Wolverine: Hey, hey it's me!
Cyclops: Prove it!
Wolverine: You're a d*ck.
Cyclops: Okay.
- X-Men

[Deathstrike extends her claws.]
Wolverine: Holy sh*t.
- X2
 

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Originally posted by Scotty's_Girl
I love it when they say that! Very funny! :D
Click to expand...

I love it when Wolverine walks through the metal detector and it beeps, so he shoves his claws into it and Cyclops looks at him and Wolverine retracts all his claws except his middle one. Classic.

Nearly every quote from Con Air on this page.
 
Originally posted by aesop
"Is this some white ****s joke that black ****s don't get? 'Cause I'm not ****ing laughing Nicholas." - Rory Breaker
Click to expand...

ah lockstock. One of the most quotable movies of all time. Once upon a time I could quote pretty much the entire movie verbatim.



"Shotguns.. what, like guns what fire shot?"

"If ya hold anything back, I'll kill ya. If you bend the truth, or I think you're bending the truth, I'll kill ya. If you forget anything I'll kill ya. In fact Nick, you're going to have to work very hard to stay alive. Now do you understand eveything I've said? Good, coz if ya don't, I'll kill ya'

'They're armed? With what?"
" Err, bad breath, colorful language, feather duster... what do you think they're gonna be armed with? Guns, you ***!

"very nice. Whats it for?"
"Don't play innocent with me, Bazza. For spanking."

"Would you like a lolly my son?"
"**** off you nonce!"

"What we need is knives. Big, **** off shiny knives, ones what look like they could skin a crocodile. See the thing about knives is they're quiet, and because they're quiet, people think you're more likely to use them. **** em right good! Guns for show, knives for pros."

"Seems expensive."
"Seems? Well, this seems to be a complete waste of my time. That, my friend, is 900 nicker in any store you're lucky enough to find one in. And you're haggling over 200 pound? What school of finance did you come from Nick? "It's a deal, it's a steal, it's the Sale of the ****ing Century!" In fact, **** it Nick, I think I'll keep it!"

"There's no money, there's no weed. It's all been replaced by a pile of corpses."

And perhaps the greatest quote of all time, the barkeepers cockney spiel

"Rory? Yeah I know Rory. He's not to be underestimated, you've got to look past the distinct facade. A few nights ago Rory's Roger iron rusted, so he has gone to the battle-cruiser to watch the end of a football game. Nobody is watching the custard so he has turned the channel over. A fat man's north opens and he wanders up and turns the Liza over. 'Now **** off and watch it somewhere else.' Rory knows claret is imminent, but he doesn't want to miss the end of the game; so, calm as a coma, he stands and picks up a fire extinguisher and he walks straight past the jam rolls who are ready for action, then he plonks it outside the entrance. He then orders an Aristotle of the most pim pom tiddly in the nuclear sub and switches back to his footer. `That's ****ing it,' says the guy. 'That's ****ing what' says Rory. Rory gobs out a mouthful of booze covering fatty; he flicks a flaming match into his bird's nest and the man lit up like a leaking gas pipe. Rory, unfazed, turned back to watch his game. His team won too. Four-nil."

I'm going to stop now, otherwise I'll still be here next week
 
From Ghostbusters 2


Rick Moranis : "Once I turned into a dog and they helped me"

RM trying to plead the GB innocence in court

And from the original


Venkman " Ok Zuel"

From the original Star Wars

Darth Vader

" A feeling I have not felt since......"

" Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate the men"

" The Emperor is most displeased with your apparent lack of progress"
 
Dark Helmet: Knock on my door! Knock next time!
Colonel Sandurz: Yes, sir!
Dark Helmet: Did you see anything?
Colonel Sandurz: No, sir! I didn't see you playing with you dolls again.
Dark Helmet: Good!

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!

Dark Helmet: What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz? CHICKEN?

Dark Helmet: Who made that man a gunner?
Major: I did sir. He's my cousin.
Dark Helmet: Who is he?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an a**hole sir.
Dark Helmet: I know that! What's his name?
Colonel Sandurz: That is his name sir. A**hole, Major A**hole!
Dark Helmet: And his cousin?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an a**hole too sir. Gunner's mate First Class Philip A**hole!
Dark Helmet: Keep firing, A**holes!

- Spaceballs
 
Full metal jacket has some awesome ones eg.

"I bet you'd suck a golfball through a garden hose... you'd even suck the chrome off a tow ball"

One from southpark movie:

"Carefull... was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart, with a coat hanger? ... when I was still in the womb."
 
Originally posted by Mead
ah lockstock. One of the most quotable movies of all time. Once upon a time I could quote pretty much the entire movie verbatim.



"Shotguns.. what, like guns what fire shot?"

"If ya hold anything back, I'll kill ya. If you bend the truth, or I think you're bending the truth, I'll kill ya. If you forget anything I'll kill ya. In fact Nick, you're going to have to work very hard to stay alive. Now do you understand eveything I've said? Good, coz if ya don't, I'll kill ya'

'They're armed? With what?"
" Err, bad breath, colorful language, feather duster... what do you think they're gonna be armed with? Guns, you ***!

"very nice. Whats it for?"
"Don't play innocent with me, Bazza. For spanking."

"Would you like a lolly my son?"
"**** off you nonce!"

"What we need is knives. Big, **** off shiny knives, ones what look like they could skin a crocodile. See the thing about knives is they're quiet, and because they're quiet, people think you're more likely to use them. **** em right good! Guns for show, knives for pros."

"Seems expensive."
"Seems? Well, this seems to be a complete waste of my time. That, my friend, is 900 nicker in any store you're lucky enough to find one in. And you're haggling over 200 pound? What school of finance did you come from Nick? "It's a deal, it's a steal, it's the Sale of the ****ing Century!" In fact, **** it Nick, I think I'll keep it!"

"There's no money, there's no weed. It's all been replaced by a pile of corpses."

And perhaps the greatest quote of all time, the barkeepers cockney spiel

"Rory? Yeah I know Rory. He's not to be underestimated, you've got to look past the distinct facade. A few nights ago Rory's Roger iron rusted, so he has gone to the battle-cruiser to watch the end of a football game. Nobody is watching the custard so he has turned the channel over. A fat man's north opens and he wanders up and turns the Liza over. 'Now **** off and watch it somewhere else.' Rory knows claret is imminent, but he doesn't want to miss the end of the game; so, calm as a coma, he stands and picks up a fire extinguisher and he walks straight past the jam rolls who are ready for action, then he plonks it outside the entrance. He then orders an Aristotle of the most pim pom tiddly in the nuclear sub and switches back to his footer. `That's ****ing it,' says the guy. 'That's ****ing what' says Rory. Rory gobs out a mouthful of booze covering fatty; he flicks a flaming match into his bird's nest and the man lit up like a leaking gas pipe. Rory, unfazed, turned back to watch his game. His team won too. Four-nil."

I'm going to stop now, otherwise I'll still be here next week
Click to expand...

We grow copious amounts of ganja here, and you're carrying a wasted girl and a bag of fertilizer. You don't look like your average horti-****ing-culturalist.

Alarm bells are ringing.
 
"O.K Ramblers Lets get Rambling" - George CLooney From Dusk til Dawn

"Yippee Ky YaY Mutha****a"- Jon Mclean

DRILL INSTRUCTOR: "I am Gunnery Sgt Hartford your senior drill instructor, From now on you will speak only when spoken too. And the first and last words out of you filthy sewers will be sir. Do You Maggots understand that?"

SOLDIERS: "Sir Yes Sir"

DRILL INSTRUCTOR:"BULL**** I can't hear you, sound of like you got a pair"

"SIR YES SIR"

DRILL INSTRUCTOR: "If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon, you will be a minister of death praying for war, but until that day you are pukes, you are the lowest form of life on earth, you are not even human ****ing beings, you are nothing but unorganised grabastic peices of amphibian ****. Because I am Hard you will not like me, but the more you hate me the more you will learn, that I am hard but I am fair, there is no racial biguitry here, I do not look down on ******s, dykes,wogs or greasers, here you are all equally worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non hackers who do not pack the gear to serve my beloved cause. DO YOU MAGGOTS UNDERSTAND THAT?"

"Sir yes Sir"

DRILL INSTRUCTOR: "BULL**** I CAN"T HEAR YOU"

Soldiers: "Sir Yes Sir"

DRILL INSTRUCTOR: "Whats your name Scumbag"

Black Soldier: "Sir Pvt Brown Sir"

DRILL INSTRUCTOR: "BULL**** from now on you private snowball. Do you like that name?"

Black Soldier: "Sir Yes Sir"


DRILL INSTRUCTOR: "Well there is one thing that you won't like private snowball, they don't serve fried chicken and watermelon on a daily basis in mingemissoles"

Black Soldier: "Sir Yes Sir"

Soldier: "Is that you John Wayne Is this Me?"

DRILL INSTRUCTOR: "WHo sed that, WHO THE **** SAID? WHO"S THE SLIMEY LITTLE COMMON OF **** TWINKLETOED, ********** down here who just Signed his own DEATHWARRANT?...Nobody Huh?..The Fairy ****ing Godmother said it. Out ****ing Standing, I'll PT you all until you ****ing DIE, I'll PT you until you assholes are sucking butter milk. Was it you you scroungy little ****? "

Soldier: "Sir No Sir"

DRILL INSTRUCTOR: "You little peice of **** you look like a ****ing worm, i bet it was you?"

Soldier: "Sir No Sir"

Soldier2: "Sir I said it Sir"

DRILL INSTRUCTOR: "Well no ****?... what have we got here a ****ing comedian, Private Joker, I admire you honesty, Hell I like you, you can come over to my house and **** my sister (Punch) YOU LITTLE SCUMBAG I GOT YOUR NAME I GOT YOUR ASS YOU WILL NOT LAUGH YOU WILL NOT CRY YOU WILL LEARN BY THE NUMBERS I WILL TEACH YOU. NOW GET UP GET ON YOUR FEET YOU HAD BEST UN**** YOURSELF OR I WILL UNSCREW YOUR HEAD AND **** DOWN YOUR NECK.
Private joker why did you join my beloved cause?"

Private Joker: "Sir to Kill Sir"

DRILL INSTRUCTOR: "So your a killer?"

Private Joker: "SIr yes Sir"

DRILL INSTRUCTOR: "Let me see your war face? You got a war face? AHHHHHHH thats a war face, now let me see your war face"

Private Joker: "AHHHHHHH"

DRILL INSTRUCTOR: "BULL**** you didn't convince me let me see your real war face?"

Private Joker "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

DRILL INSTRUCTOR: "You don't scare me work on it"

Private JOker: "SIR YES SIR"

part 2 coming soon
 
LOL. That X-Men quote is an absolute CLASSIC!

Here are some others:

SCOTT "Dad, look what he did!"
DR EVIL "Who did?"
SCOTT "Your stupid, MINI-YOU! He put road kill in my sheet."
DR EVIL "Mini-me don't you ever do that again, you hear me? Don't you ever do that again.
MINI-ME *Twisted sad face*
DR EVIL "Oh, I can't stay mad at you, look at that pornum."


Who could forget the song from "The Sweetest Thing"

Adam sandler's song in the wedding singer "It was all bullsh*t!!!"
Ben stiller's prayer in Meet the Parents was pretty funny too.

:D
 
Originally posted by SoggyBoy
We grow copious amounts of ganja here, and you're carrying a wasted girl and a bag of fertilizer. You don't look like your average horti-****ing-culturalist.

Alarm bells are ringing.
Click to expand...

"Chill Winston"

Since all the best Lock Stock quotes are gone, i'll move onto Snatch:

Cousin Avi: Eight-four carats.
Rosebud: Where?
Cousin Avi: London.
Rosebud: London?
Cousin Avi: London.
Jeweler: London?
Cousin Avi: Yes, London. You know, fish, chips, cup o' tea. Bad food, worse weather. Mary fu**in' Poppins. London!


Cousin Avi: Shut up and sit down you big bald fu**! I don't like leaving my own country, Doug. And, I especially don't like leaving it for anything less than warm sandy beaches and cocktails with little straw hats.
Doug 'The Head': We've got sandy beaches.
Cousin Avi: So, who the fu** wants to see 'em?!


Vinny: What's the matter with that space over there?
Tyrone: It's too tight.
Vinny: "Too tight?" You could land a jumbo-fu**ing-jet in there!


Turkish: We've lost Gorgeous George.
Brick Top: You're going to have to repeat that.
Turkish: We've lost Gorgeous George.
Brick Top: Well, where'd you lose him?! He ain't a set of fu**ing car keys, is he? And, it's not as if he's incon-fu**ing-spicuous, now is it?
 
A Jack Black classic........

(from Hi Fidelity)



Barry: Holy ****e. What the **** is that?
****: It's the new Belle and Sebastian--
Rob: It's a record we've been listening to and enjoying, Barry.
Barry: Well, that's unfortunate, because it sucks ass!
 

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