Society & Culture Favourite Idioms

[DoggyStyle]

Are the Kennedy's gun shy?
couldn't fight his way out of wet paper bag
he's jumping around like a fart in a bottle
The guys is so dishonest he cant even lie striaght in bed
Had it up to Pussy's Bow

I personally like to use either of theese two after having a massive meal;

I'm fuller than a fat girls sock or if therer is a fat girl around I usually go with fuller a Victorian State School

 

[MarcusP2]

Face like a dropped pie or smashed crab are personal faves.

Also 'going off like a frog in a sock' or 'flat out like a lizard drinking'.

 

[Macca19]

We had a bloke I used to work with who talked pretty much constantly in these cockney slang/idioms, to the point where half the time you wouldnt know what the **** he was actually talking about. He could string together 3-4-5 of them in the one long sentence and you'd be left scratching your head trying to decipher what he was on about.

 

[hoianbulldog]

He's all over the place like a fat womans shit.

 

[Northworth]

There was a great episode of Denton where he interviewed taxi drivers... one of them was hysterical

he had a great one
She was as blind as a welder's dog

 

[policegetthatman]

sweaty as a 14 year old discovering pr0n..

 

[Messenger]

Couldn't hit a cows arse with a banjo.

 

[TheStinger]

When i was a kid I was constantly being reminded by my Grandpa after coming in from the backyard to "Put the wood in the hole."

 

[Mancey]

He's all over the place like a fat womans shit.

Usually go a "mad" woman for that one.

"couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat" for a bloke that can't get bat on ball in cricket

 

[Xtreme]

He/She is a french fry short of a happy meal

Has been a routine favorite of mine for 15 years now

 

[Greendude]

After a series of losses - We couldnt beat an egg

 

[Lemma]

He/She is a french fry short of a happy meal

Has been a routine favorite of mine for 15 years now

Haha I have plenty of these along these lines.
A few crayons short of a box
A few buttons short of a remote control
A few sandwiches short of a picnic

 

[Mooster7]

Anyone who thinks a popcorn fart is dry clearly isn't putting enough Tabasco sauce on their popcorn.

My favorite idiom:

"Alles hat ein Ende, nur die Wurst hat zwei."

^ "Everything has an end, but a sausage has two."

****ing Germans. I love them. They wouldn't hurt a fly.

Oh, and "Arbeit Macht Frei."

Heh, heh. Cracks me up.

 

[Gough]

I worked in the kitchens of a pub in England with a guy who used to work in a priory kitchen. He lost his job there when in front of the Mother Superior he asked for someone to pass him a glass of water because he was "dry as a nun's twat".

 

[roostersgal4eva]

I'm off like a brides nightie

As useful as a fart in an elevator

Toey as a roman sandle

He/ she is one French fry short of a happy meal

 

[Hoffy95]

Up & down like a whores drawers.

 

[LANGFORDandSON]

Usually go a "mad" woman for that one.

All over the place like a mad womans hair.

 

[TheStinger]

A science teacher of mine back in high school when a student would have an excuse for why they didn't do their homework or forgot to bring something would say...

"I've heard that more times than I've had hot dinners."

 

[I bleed Blue]

"Shes got a head like a welders bench"

Player x "couldn't get a kick in a street fight'

Player x "wouldn't know if they are using a sherrin or a ross faulkner'

A pig always finds the mud!

Bout as exciting as watching paint dry.

Scarce as racing rocking horse shit

Clear as mud

Tighter than a fishes ass

Better than a kick in the nuts

Cold as a witches tit on the shady side of an iceburg

So hungry I could eat the crutch out of a low flying duck

 

[Flawed Genius]

Busier than a one armed paper hanger with crabs.

As likely to happen as someone pushing a pound of butter up a parrot's arse with a hot needle.

Uglier than a cross between a bulldog chewing a wasp and a rat hiding behind a broom.

Slower than a wet week.

Taking the pigskin bus to Tuna Town.

Taking the Cleveland Browns to the Superbowl.

His elevator stopped going to the top floor a while ago.

Few strawberries short of a punnet.

Few kangaroos loose in the top paddock.

Few ants short of a picnic.

Tighter than a nun's box.

Obviously there's all the cricket ones:

Swinging like a.. rusty gate/Adelaide disco/Indian restaurant's front door in Mumbai/80's couple.

Seen better leaves on a tree.

Seen better blocks in a Lego set.

Seen a better batter in a fish&chip shop.

Couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag.

 

[RedmanWasHere]

Caught between the devil and the deep blue sea.

If someone's fallen over or tripped, I'd say "you fell for that one."

If I'm about to do No. 3's (diarrhoea,) I'd be "unloading the cement truck."

 

[Lemma]

No.3s? What?

 

[Tulip]

She's made a pig's ear out of that one

 

[Tulip]

Happier than a pig in a trough

 

[Gibbsy]

Slow as a wet week

Off like a dirty shirt

About as funny as a fart in an elevator

Cold as a witch's tit

Better than a slap in the face with a wet fish

Rare as hen's teeth

Full as a fat lady's sock

Sticks out likes dog's balls



Would probably use all those semi regularly. Any money I'm forgetting one or two though.