Calm down.
He is merely saying that societal expectation that women should not be subjected to violence relies on a certain expectation of conduct on the womans part as well.
I'm sure we've all seen incidents at clubs where a guy is getting the shit kicked out of him by his gf, scratched, slapped... hair pulled and he is just cowering because their is no socially acceptable recourse for him other than standing there being humiliated. It's not an ideal situation.
The person you have just called a '****ing idiot' was not condoning Gehrig's behavior, and considering you are trying to pain yourself as someone with strong morals and values... you probably should retract it.
Where are you hanging out? I go out a lot but I have never seen what you describe. Never seen a man cowering while his girlfriend kicks the hell out of him, perhaps I've lived a sheltered life.