How many Melbourne players would get a game at any other club?

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Super_Phaser, it is time to ask you for another assessment, please.

On the basis of the many Private Messages that we both received, many Carlton Bay 13 supporters were very appreciative of your generous assessment of their ruck division.

Indeed, I am starting to think that many of them regard you as the Mike Sheehan of Bay 13.

Could I please ask you to turn your powers of analysis to the following players? I think it is in everyone's interests if you provide another objective assessment:
  • Andrew Walker
  • Nick Stevens
Biffinator.
 

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stabler said:
LOL CARLTON! HAHAHAHA SUCK SH!T KREUZER IS A DUD IT MUST BE KILLING YOU THAT YOU DIDN"T TANK THIS YEAR ASWEL! GOOD LUCK WITH DUMBO IN CHARGE OF YOUR SCUMMY RABBLE OF A FOOTBALL TEAM:thumbsu::thumbsu::thumbsu:

end rant
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R u dumb or what. I can't believe a Melbourne supporter is saying this. Look at ur own team b4 u bag other players and clubs. Im sure if you have Kreuzer you wouldn't be saying this ****head:mad:
 
Biffinator said:
Super_Phaser, it is time to ask you for another assessment, please.

On the basis of the many Private Messages that we both received, many Carlton Bay 13 supporters were very appreciative of your generous assessment of their ruck division.

Indeed, I am starting to think that many of them regard you as the Mike Sheehan of Bay 13.


Could I please ask you to turn your powers of analysis to the following players? I think it is in everyone's interests if you provide another objective assessment:
  • Andrew Walker
  • Nick Stevens
Biffinator.
Click to expand...


Comrade, not a problem.

I think my views on their ruck stocks were eboth fair and balanced, and I had quite a few Private Messages from Blues supporters thanking me for helping to educate them on their players.

Now, on to the above player assessments -


Andrew Walker - as a Demon fan, this name sends shivers down my spine. Not cos I fear playing him, but because in 2003 Melbourne had pick 3 and 5, and Walker was touted as a top 5 pick going into the draft. Thank Christ for us that Carltank had pick 2, therefore taking Walker and leaving us to scoop up McLean and Sylvia.

Its hard to assess him cos I havent seen him play in a long time due to his long stint at VFL level where he belongs. But he is slow, unskilled and is about as accomplished a footballer as Saddam Hussein was a people person.


Nick Stevens - 'Butterbean' Stevens has admirably filled the void left by Lance Whitnall down at Blueland. Just when it looked like the Carlton list was going to be missing its token fat guy, Stevens spends a summer scoffing down donuts and Meatball subs like a true champion. Now, Princes Park feels like home again.

On the field, the man is a mess. Two minutes into the game he looks like a drowned walrus begging to be euthanised. He is a shocking footballer, extremely substandard. But I do worry about him, as it is not ideal for someone in the 120-140 kilogram range to be undergoing such strenuous exercise. Not that he covers much ground these days.
 
Saw Shaun McManus on Sunday evening running rings around the Demon...Shit sorry Melbourne young guns. On that alone you would have to think that on that alone most if not any of them would get games at other AFL Clubs.
No offense to Shaun McManus who was an ok player 5 years ago.
 
super_phaser said:
Andrew Walker - as a Demon fan, this name sends shivers down my spine. Not cos I fear playing him, but because in 2003 Melbourne had pick 3 and 5, and Walker was touted as a top 5 pick going into the draft. Thank Christ for us that Carltank had pick 2, therefore taking Walker and leaving us to scoop up McLean and Sylvia.

Its hard to assess him cos I havent seen him play in a long time due to his long stint at VFL level where he belongs. But he is slow, unskilled and is about as accomplished a footballer as Saddam Hussein was a people person.
Click to expand...
I still remember back in the days when i used to just browse bigfooty, how the Carltank fans rated Walker better then McLean and Sylvia:D:D I must admit i was also scared going into the draft S_P, but when Carltank picked Walker with pick two i was very releived. Then i started ROFLing that Walker had just gone pick 2 while Melbourne had just secured McLean and Sylvia. Good times:thumbsu:
 
super_phaser said:
Comrade, not a problem.

I think my views on their ruck stocks were eboth fair and balanced, and I had quite a few Private Messages from Blues supporters thanking me for helping to educate them on their players.

Now, on to the above player assessments -


Andrew Walker - as a Demon fan, this name sends shivers down my spine. Not cos I fear playing him, but because in 2003 Melbourne had pick 3 and 5, and Walker was touted as a top 5 pick going into the draft. Thank Christ for us that Carltank had pick 2, therefore taking Walker and leaving us to scoop up McLean and Sylvia.

Its hard to assess him cos I havent seen him play in a long time due to his long stint at VFL level where he belongs. But he is slow, unskilled and is about as accomplished a footballer as Saddam Hussein was a people person.


Nick Stevens - 'Butterbean' Stevens has admirably filled the void left by Lance Whitnall down at Blueland. Just when it looked like the Carlton list was going to be missing its token fat guy, Stevens spends a summer scoffing down donuts and Meatball subs like a true champion. Now, Princes Park feels like home again.

On the field, the man is a mess. Two minutes into the game he looks like a drowned walrus begging to be euthanised. He is a shocking footballer, extremely substandard. But I do worry about him, as it is not ideal for someone in the 120-140 kilogram range to be undergoing such strenuous exercise. Not that he covers much ground these days.
Click to expand...

im sorry but all you have done is state the obvious. walker is sh''it and stevens is fat
 

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PoidaCat said:
Melbourne will win their next flag before Hawthorn and Fremantle.
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captain_obvious.jpg
 
kreuze_missile said:
I don't think a single player could get a game at any other club in the AFL. Actually, I think a fair few of them would even struggle at VFL level. While no-one can question that they are trying their hardest each week there is not a single player that I would be excited about having if they joined my club. In the history of the AFL has their ever been team with such little talent? Fremantle might be a joke but they have Pavlich and the clanger king Rhys Palmer who may turn out good. The Eagles are a disgrace but Cox is a superstar. Honestly, what good players do Melbourne have? I couldnt even think of one worth listing. Has there ever been a club in worse shape than Melbourne in 2008? With draft concessions almost certainly ruining the draft for the next 5+ years its going to be tough times ahead Melbourne. I predict they will add another 5 spoons to their already massive collection.

Discuss.
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they only have 10 wooden spoons and they are the oldest club in the afl. they also have 12 premierships. look at st kildas history. know what ur talking about before u make a thread like that ********, and remember carlton 2002-2007? there even a disgrace now,cant make the finals with all those number 1 draft picks and judd and fev
 
whelan=legend said:
I still remember back in the days when i used to just browse bigfooty, how the Carltank fans rated Walker better then McLean and Sylvia:D:D I must admit i was also scared going into the draft S_P, but when Carltank picked Walker with pick two i was very releived. Then i started ROFLing that Walker had just gone pick 2 while Melbourne had just secured McLean and Sylvia. Good times:thumbsu:
Click to expand...

Comrades, can I please tell you a story?

The other day I was working down Faraday Street in Carlton with my dog Brutus.

Now Brutus is normally a very well behaved dog - if you know what I mean.

But all of a sudden he yanked me to a stop and dropped a big steamer on the pavement before I could stop him.

This was very unusual indeed. I looked around, and lo and behold I was standing right outside the Carlton Shop on Faraday Street - so Brutus was right on the money.

After tying Brutus to a nearby post - and stepping around the Steamer - I decided to venture in. This was the Monday after their defeat at the hands of the Bloods. The shop was empty.

Now we all know how the Carlton Football Club has prostituted the once renowned John Nicholls Medal over the past few years - just take a look at the Dishonour Roll since 2002.

I was tempted to ask the Matty Lappin weed-like guy behind the counter if I could buy one myself and then use it as Brutus' dog-tag - after all, what isn't for sale at Carlton - but I thought better of the idea as it would probably be made of compound chocolate, as befits its current status.

I also looked if they had model-kits of the Legends Stand on sale but they were out of stock.

I would have bought one of those classy Steve Kernahan T-shirts "we're Carlton - f a r k the rest!" but they only came in size XXXL

So I left empty-handed - but somehow I was none the poorer for that.

If any of you Blues Fans intend to visit the shop over the next few days, watch out for Brutus' Steamer!!!

In the Legends Stand, no-one can hear you scream.

Biffinator.
 
Comrade Super_Phaser, a very famous man long ago once asked the question "What is Truth?"

In terms of our beloved Bay 13 brethren who happen to barrack for Carlton - you are delivering on this question in spades.

Moreover, in light of the Private Messages, they are grateful to you.

Even so, the truth sometimes hurts - perhaps Brutus' Steamer above is pertinent at this point as a metaphor. I am detecting a degree or irritability elsewhere on Bay 13 in terms of the Melbourne-Carlton dynamic.

David Parkin is well versed in September glory. On the record, he has stated that the Blues will not revisit their glories of old while Fevola is in the team.

Could i please have your objective assessment of the Carlton spearhead - in a football and not a cognitive sense?

I will pay bonus points for any gratuitous references to (or photos of) Laura Bonkle.

Biffinator.
 
Biffinator said:
Comrades, can I please tell you a story?

The other day I was working down Faraday Street in Carlton with my dog Brutus.

Now Brutus is normally a very well behaved dog - if you know what I mean.

But all of a sudden he yanked me to a stop and dropped a big steamer on the pavement before I could stop him.

This was very unusual indeed. I looked around, and lo and behold I was standing right outside the Carlton Shop on Faraday Street - so Brutus was right on the money.

After tying Brutus to a nearby post - and stepping around the Steamer - I decided to venture in. This was the Monday after their defeat at the hands of the Bloods. The shop was empty.

Now we all know how the Carlton Football Club has prostituted the once renowned John Nicholls Medal over the past few years - just take a look at the Dishonour Roll since 2002.

I was tempted to ask the Matty Lappin weed-like guy behind the counter if I could buy one myself and then use it as Brutus' dog-tag - after all, what isn't for sale at Carlton - but I thought better of the idea as it would probably be made of compound chocolate, as befits its current status.

I also looked if they had model-kits of the Legends Stand on sale but they were out of stock.

I would have bought one of those classy Steve Kernahan T-shirts "we're Carlton - f a r k the rest!" but they only came in size XXXL

So I left empty-handed - but somehow I was none the poorer for that.

If any of you Blues Fans intend to visit the shop over the next few days, watch out for Brutus' Steamer!!!

In the Legends Stand, no-one can hear you scream.

Biffinator.
Click to expand...

Dear Biff,
I was concerned about the offending pile in Faraday st & thought I would get it cleaned up as there is already plenty of sh*t being dumped on Carlton in BF.
However after viewing the offending dump I was convinced it could not be from Brutus as it was Red & Blue.
I carefully wrapped the offending pile in a green bag & took it to the CSIRO for examination.
The CSIRO was quite stunned & told me that DNA testing proved it was neither from a dog or a human. Being stumped they flew in an expert from the USA who found that the offending dump was from a semi human species called "Melbourneus Cretinus".
The CSIRO further confirmed that the Red & Blue offending dump was actually 85 % of the brain of the semi human species called "Melbourneus Cretinus" that lost it.
Biff as you only have 15% left of your brain could you plese contact the CSIRO an collect the offending Red & Blue dump that spilled out of your ear the other day ?
PS: it is too late to help SP & W=L as they have no brains left whatsover. If you don't collect your brain you will soon post in the same manner as SP & W=L so it is imperative that you collect your brain.
 
CB - all I ask is that posters show a bit of originality and humour, which you have done - so I will give you this one.

Please hang around. I am reasonably sure that Super_Phaser is preparing an ex cathedra encyplical on Brendan Fevola and you will want to hear it and then fall to your knees in awe.

best wishes, Biffinator
 
Biffinator said:
CB - all I ask is that posters show a bit of originality and humour, which you have done - so I will give you this one.

Please hang around. I am reasonably sure that Super_Phaser is preparing an ex cathedra encyplical on Brendan Fevola and you will want to hear it and then fall to your knees in awe.

best wishes, Biffinator
Click to expand...

My dearest Biff.

I would pay a thousand dollars to see Fevola & Super going one on one in a debate/slanging match.
I would not tire of each of them looking slightly sideways, then downwards then look at each other with blank faces & say "I know you are but what are you".
This line would go on for hours & I would be in stitches.
 
Biffinator said:
.

David Parkin is well versed in September glory. On the record, he has stated that the Blues will not revisit their glories of old while Fevola is in the team.

Could i please have your objective assessment of the Carlton spearhead - in a football and not a cognitive sense?

.
Click to expand...


Biff.

Brendan Fevola is an interesting case study, Not just sporting wise, but he holds great scientific significance in the world of Primatology.

For those who dont know, Primatology is '.. the study of primates. It ranges from anatomical studies of primate ancestors and field studies of primates in their natural habitat, to experiments in animal psychology and ape language. It has cast an immense amount of light on basic humab behaviors and ancient ancestry of these behaviors...'


In the case of Fevola, scientists have been blown away that this unique primate has the ability to show basic forms of interaction with humans on a scale never seeen before by any ape, orangatung, monkey etc.. He has the most advanced speech ever seen by Primatologists, and while his intellectual capacity is still well below that of a human, scientists believe that this amazing case study may help unlock the secrets to our past.

Scientists have been studying the Fevola lineage for decades, after Brendans grandfather was caught by police stealing bananas at the Coburg Market. If this primate had the ability to find the market, target the fruit seller and consciously take the bananas in the hope of nobody noticing, then surely the sky would be the limit for human-like primate behaviour.

The fact that Brendan has the ability to put on his own jumper, shorts and boots and chase a football around is cause for celebration for world renowned Primatologists, such as Christophe Boesch, Geoffrey Bourne and Marina Cords.

In their 2007 case study entitled 'The Fevola lineage - evolution before our eyes', they marvelled at what was taking place. How could a family of apes develop so quickly in the modern world? It was only 100 years ago that Luigi Fevola (Brendans great grandfather) was the star attraction at the Rome Zoo. To think that he needed bananas thrown to him is almost inconceivable when it was his very own son who changed the face of Primatology on that important day at Coburg market.

Sadly, a lot of the great recent research was undone when Brendan returned to his animalistic ways and was caught urinating in public earlier this year. Primatologists called it a 'kick in the guts' , and wondered if they had jumped the gun.. or were they part of a hoax?

They were given hope again when Brendan made is first appearance on the Footy Show for the year, just weeks after the incident. Scientists tuned in, holding their breath. The KPI required for the go-ahead with their Fevola studies was that this amazing primate must clearly speak a minimum of 5 words from the English language on his first appearance back on the show. They counted 7, and at the National Institute for Primate Research the champagne began to flow.
 
super_phaser said:
Biff.

Brendan Fevola is an interesting case study, Not just sporting wise, but he holds great scientific significance in the world of Primatology.

For those who dont know, Primatology is '.. the study of primates. It ranges from anatomical studies of primate ancestors and field studies of primates in their natural habitat, to experiments in animal psychology and ape language. It has cast an immense amount of light on basic humab behaviors and ancient ancestry of these behaviors...'


In the case of Fevola, scientists have been blown away that this unique primate has the ability to show basic forms of interaction with humans on a scale never seeen before by any ape, orangatung, monkey etc.. He has the most advanced speech ever seen by Primatologists, and while his intellectual capacity is still well below that of a human, scientists believe that this amazing case study may help unlock the secrets to our past.

Scientists have been studying the Fevola lineage for decades, after Brendans grandfather was caught by police stealing bananas at the Coburg Market. If this primate had the ability to find the market, target the fruit seller and consciously take the bananas in the hope of nobody noticing, then surely the sky would be the limit for human-like primate behaviour.

The fact that Brendan has the ability to put on his own jumper, shorts and boots and chase a football around is cause for celebration for world renowned Primatologists, such as Christophe Boesch, Geoffrey Bourne and Marina Cords.

In their 2007 case study entitled 'The Fevola lineage - evolution before our eyes', they marvelled at what was taking place. How could a family of apes develop so quickly in the modern world? It was only 100 years ago that Luigi Fevola (Brendans great grandfather) was the star attraction at the Rome Zoo. To think that he needed bananas thrown to him is almost inconceivable when it was his very own son who changed the face of Primatology on that important day at Coburg market.

Sadly, a lot of the great recent research was undone when Brendan returned to his animalistic ways and was caught urinating in public earlier this year. Primatologists called it a 'kick in the guts' , and wondered if they had jumped the gun.. or were they part of a hoax?

They were given hope again when Brendan made is first appearance on the Footy Show for the year, just weeks after the incident. Scientists tuned in, holding their breath. The KPI required for the go-ahead with their Fevola studies was that this amazing primate must clearly speak a minimum of 5 words from the English language on his first appearance back on the show. They counted 7, and at the National Institute for Primate Research the champagne began to flow.
Click to expand...

Wow, that was the first time I have seen you write something witty.
Very well written :thumbsu:
 

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