-
AFLW 2024 - Round 9 - Indigenous Round - Chat, game threads, injury lists, team lineups and more.
How many of you flogs have kids?
- Thread starter Duritz
- Start date
- Tagged users None
Shell
Premium Platinum
Why is it selfish to not to want to have kids? I dont think I do (for a number of reasons), but I have devoted like 10 years to educating children, so does that make me selfish? Or perhaps less?
Just shits me this selfish tag.
Just shits me this selfish tag.
- Thread starter
- Banned
- #28
What selfish tag?
Shell
Premium Platinum
- Thread starter
- Banned
- #30
I don't think people who don't have children are "selfish", but what I would argue is that having them makes you acutely aware that you are not the centre of the universe, that the world will march forth with or without you. I'd also argue that, ironically, it also teaches you how valuable your existence is and how it shouldn't be taken for granted. It changes your perspective more than anything else I've ever encountered. Except magic mushrooms that is... They're very altering.
I don't know where you get the selfish thing from.
My daughter & her partner said they didn't want kids a few years ago, now I'm going to be a Grandma in August.
Never say never.
- Thread starter
- Banned
- #32
I don't know where you get the selfish thing from.
My daughter & her partner said they didn't want kids a few years ago, now I'm going to be a Grandma in August.
Never say never.
Mantis, I keep TELLING you, I am NOT your daughter's partner, stop stalking me, sheesh.
Gough
Moderator
- Sep 29, 2006
- 74,229
- 138,648
- AFL Club
- Hawthorn
- Moderator
- #33
Congrats Mantis, other people's kids are always the best sort of kids.I don't know where you get the selfish thing from.
My daughter & her partner said they didn't want kids a few years ago, now I'm going to be a Grandma in August.
Never say never.
Shell
Premium Platinum
I said the media... and in general and then "i dunno". Its just a perception that if you dont have kids, you must "wanna sleep in every day, travel when you want to" blah blah and that makes you selfish for not reproducing.
Imho this earth is over populated and im doing it a ****ing favour!!!! /jk
And congrats.
I will love looking after it & being able to hand it back. I'm just hoping the baby takes after my daughter & drives her as nuts as she did to me.
Shell
Premium Platinum
I love my kids (and by that I mean my students).
I also love saying goodbye to them at 3.25pm each day!! (And end of term even better
)
I think the selfish tag comes from parents who want grand children.
I see no other reason why you would be selfish not to have them.
BEEG
Hall of Famer
- Aug 2, 2007
- 31,698
- 38,742
- AFL Club
- Collingwood
- Other Teams
- Dallas Mavericks
Dead set with all the people on Facebook that just talk about their kids non stop makes me almost not want to have them its horrible
I am 25 been with the mrs 5 years i think 29/30 is a good age to be honest still alot of things i want to do
Plus im to selfish i enjoy doing what i want i do not wnat to be a pearent that palms the kids of to mum and dad or who ever will take them
I am 25 been with the mrs 5 years i think 29/30 is a good age to be honest still alot of things i want to do
Plus im to selfish i enjoy doing what i want i do not wnat to be a pearent that palms the kids of to mum and dad or who ever will take them
Really looking forward to having kids, my partner and I are both keen, but not just yet. Have things to do first.
Older brother had first baby last year and it's awesome being an uncle for the first time and watching the little man grow.
Older brother had first baby last year and it's awesome being an uncle for the first time and watching the little man grow.
- Banned
- #40
No children. But only in my mid-20s. So who knows what the future holds. If I had to 'decide' now I'd chose not too though.
As for the selfish tag I'm not sure how people reason that. They're surely not dim enough to think having children was just about making somebody and it had nothing to do with them wanting to make somebody. So probably women who felt pressured/expected to have children by their husband/parents/society.
That said I can count on one hand the number of people I've met who've ever called not having kids "selfish". Perhaps that will change as I and the social circles get older...
I'd be worried if anyone I knew needed to have children to realise this.
As for the selfish tag I'm not sure how people reason that. They're surely not dim enough to think having children was just about making somebody and it had nothing to do with them wanting to make somebody. So probably women who felt pressured/expected to have children by their husband/parents/society.
That said I can count on one hand the number of people I've met who've ever called not having kids "selfish". Perhaps that will change as I and the social circles get older...
I'd be worried if anyone I knew needed to have children to realise this.
- Thread starter
- Banned
- #41
Obviously you know that you are not the centre of the universe prior, but you more fully understand that after.
Doss
Ass
- Aug 1, 2011
- 75,222
- 112,368
- AFL Club
- Essendon
You might realise it prior to having kids, but it would only be after you've become a parent yourself that you could fully appreciate it because never, ever in your life prior to that will you have had a situation where your needs become as completely subordinate in comparison to someone else.
- Thread starter
- Banned
- #43
Spot on.
To be honest I'd rather not bring children into this shit hole.
To be considered selfish for deciding to abandon the idea of having your own children, is a bit ridiculous when the main reason (besides instinct) behind having children is to fulfill your dream of a fuzzy feeling. Sounds selfish to me.
Then there's the ones that **** up and have kids when least expected, or single mothers. Those are the ones that I respect.
To be considered selfish for deciding to abandon the idea of having your own children, is a bit ridiculous when the main reason (besides instinct) behind having children is to fulfill your dream of a fuzzy feeling. Sounds selfish to me.
Then there's the ones that **** up and have kids when least expected, or single mothers. Those are the ones that I respect.
If anything the most "selfish" thing one can do is having children and then not giving two shits about them. At least people who say they don't want children are not bringing some child into the world just for the sake of it.
- Thread starter
- Banned
- #46
Again, I don't think anyone in this thread is suggesting people who do not have children are "selfish". All I am suggesting is that with children your focus shifts from inward, to outward, and that if you're a willing and good parent you willingly give up a sizable chunk of your own wants and desires, to help fulfill the ones of your children. You give everything you have to them.
Shell
Premium Platinum
Omg, got Supernanny on.
They have 10 kids.
Yeah this ep should change my mind!!!!!!!
They have 10 kids.
Yeah this ep should change my mind!!!!!!!
And that is completely understandable.
I practically raised my niece and nephew, and although I can't share that do-all feeling with you, I understand what is involved.
selfish for not having kids? no
selfish for waiting until you're older so you havent missed out on anything else? maybe
by this i mean that i dont think it's fair to have children when you are say 45+. it might suit you, but as a general rule i dont think it's fair for the kid. if you consider that when they're turning 10 you'll be 55+ and probably too old to go kick the footy in the park, have a hit of tennis, muck around on your bike, all those things that a boy loves to do with their old man.
then of course you're greatly increasing the risk of passing away well before the kids are even close to ready for that kind of crisis.
i reckon as the parent you'd probably regret holding off having kids too for this same reason.
i'm sure there's exceptions to the rule though where it works out great.
selfish for waiting until you're older so you havent missed out on anything else? maybe
by this i mean that i dont think it's fair to have children when you are say 45+. it might suit you, but as a general rule i dont think it's fair for the kid. if you consider that when they're turning 10 you'll be 55+ and probably too old to go kick the footy in the park, have a hit of tennis, muck around on your bike, all those things that a boy loves to do with their old man.
then of course you're greatly increasing the risk of passing away well before the kids are even close to ready for that kind of crisis.
i reckon as the parent you'd probably regret holding off having kids too for this same reason.
i'm sure there's exceptions to the rule though where it works out great.
Doss
Ass
- Aug 1, 2011
- 75,222
- 112,368
- AFL Club
- Essendon
Completely agree with this.
It's why those stories of 60+ year old woman having IVF babies always make me cringe. There's a decent chance they'll be dead before their child is 15.
