Vintage Bay Mofra's Bottom 50 for 2019 - Now featuring the bottom 5 Arnott's biscuits

[3rd Grade Maggy]

It's just the small things:

Knowing that's it Bambi's mum, not ****ing Bambi (you ****ing mumpty beeg)
Just beautiful drive-bys on miwney
Adelaide incest jokes


I come for the countdown, I stay for the nuance

 

[benji2]

On LG-K500 using BigFooty.com mobile app

 

[Dinsdale]

Hogan will have to get a jumper you'd have thought

Do you realise you type the way Bruce Macaveney speaks?

 

[skam85]

Do you realise you type the way Bruce Macaveney speaks?

Wouldn't it have been more like "Hogan, you just feel he's going to get a jumper don't you?"

 

[3rd Grade Maggy]

Wouldn't it have been more like "Hogan, you just feel he's going to get a jumper don't you?"

I'm now only going to post in this thread in a Derwayne voice. Mof really put some shoe into that last one.

 

[Dinsdale]

I'm now only going to post in this thread in a Derwayne voice. Mof really put some shoe into that last one.

how about "Mofra, you really feel he put the boot into that last one dont you?"

 

[The Cryptkeeper]

Not that I suck the chode of Mofra happily, but this is the only thread on BF worth reading.

 

[TedDougChris]

how about "Mofra, you really feel he put the boot into that last one dont you?"

Points off for no references to fire starters....

 

[skam85]

I'm now only going to post in this thread in a Derwayne voice. Mof really put some shoe into that last one.

Mof. Beams... Wingard.... Bottom 50! Epic!

 

[LeverPuller]

Id like to see some odds on that please.

For a friend.

Phill Inn?

 

[ferrisb]

I can't believe fans melt down when one of their players gets named.

It's the bay. Its Mofra. It's a bit of fun. It's perfection.

Nek minnut Mofra names a Carlton player at #48 and I lose my s**t....

I feel like I was one number off winning powerball.....

Player #48 - Eddie Betts

View attachment 735953
Pictured: Stewie Dew looks on jealously as he remembers a time when it was humanly possible to lift him

Ok, consider Bambi's mother well and truly shot. He is one of the most popular figures in the AFL but 2019 just wasn't Eddie's year.

We know the story. An inspired selection by Carlton as a PSD pick, Betts grew up rough before entering an academy in Melbourne run by Phil Krakour which got his life back on track. In a move that makes no sense to this day, Carlton let Eddie go to "save money" which they wisely spent on such luminaries as Kristian Jacksh, Josh Bootsma and Billie Smedts. Eddie became a Crow.

Over the years 'Eddie's pocket' came to mean something different to just 'under the table payments to settle gambling debts'.
It became a staple in any 3 minute video to highlight the best parts of the game. Eddie would go on to make the AA side three years in a row as the best small forward in the game this century who understands what consent means.

However, just as 2017 finished with Tex Walker sitting on an airplane next to an empty seat, so would Eddie's mercurial rise to the upper echelons of the AFL also cease. An interrupted 2018 led to a 2019 where Adelaide ran a pre-season camp that best could be described as more concentration than inspiration. Rumours of player unrest (including Betts) over the events at that camp manifested itself in the Crows having another poor year, and one of the players most impacted was Eddie.

Eddie still managed 37 goals this season, however 12 of those were against a depleted Suns outfit twice. Sensationally, he was dropped ahead of Round 19 which is never good news for a 32 year old who doesn't mind the occasional cheeky pint (not sure what the Adelaide term for a pint is - a transfusion?)
His tackle numbers are also down this year a little and his just seems a tiny bit slower than last year.
It appears that Father Time has finally caught up with him, and from what I understand father-time means something else in some South Australian families.

Anyway there were rumours that Gold Coast were interested in him but Eddie is contracted for next year and everyone wants to see Eddie give it one last shot as a Crow. Fare thee well Mr Betts and welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2019.

 

[halalsnackpack]

Do you realise you type the way Bruce Macaveney speaks?

Nah it's the Triple M faux intellectual vocabulary cross blokeiness

 

[Mofra]

Player #47 - Scott Selwood


Pictured: Scott attempts a hug on his brother Joel, who ducked out of it

Scott Selwood is a former West Coast Eagles Vice-Captain and Acting-Captain who moved to Geelong, missing out on the Eagles' premiership. He won an award in 2012 named after Essendon coach/chemist John Worsfold. 2012 was just after Stephen Dank and the weapon left Geelong to join Essendon. As Joel later said about the whole drama, "I'm shocked to be ducking here".

Scott Selwood was in no way needed at Geelong this year, who had a good season largely without him. He managed two late season games before being dropped after the Fremantle match. Both games were away, making him the only Geelong-listed player to have played exclusively on AFL-standard grounds this year.
It was one of Rossy's last happy weeks, beating Geelong despite losing to them by 133 points a year earlier. In this game Scott had 15 disposals including 6 clangers. Of the 45 free kicks paid for the match Scott was involved in 6 of them. Make of that what you will.

Scott was clearly traded into Geelong just to keep Joel happy, like some sort of 'rugged but slowing down' security blanket. If Geelong really want to put someone on their list to keep a player happy, they would have been far better off drafting Tim Kelly's wife. There's an UN-PC joke in there somewhere about "ducking under some tackle" but before you smash that report button, remember the important thing is I identify as PC.

Fun fact: In 2007 the Selwood family were named ambassadors for Seeing Eye Dogs Australia, which goes some way to explaining Joel's favouritism with the umpiring fraternity.

Anyway good luck and thanks for being part of this years' Bottom 50.

 

[AFDogs]

I forgot this bloke even existed. Should've went to Gold Coast instead.

 

[Dinsdale]

Player #47 - Scott Selwood

"you could say he's only half the ducker player that Joel is, couldn't you"

 

[NSWCROW]

" Tim Kellys wife "

 

[CaptainChardonnay]

I forgot this bloke even existed. Should've went to Gold Coast instead.

Pretty sure they were looking to improve their list at the time and hence why they passed.

 

[3rd Grade Maggy]

He's put thar one right down the stitches.

 

[hawkman]

Esava Ratugolea belongs in this list with his 8 disposals, 6 hitouts and .7 goals a game. Amazingly (although playing for Geelong perhaps not that surprising) he receives 2 free kicks a game so a quarter of his disposals come from free kicks

 

[FISTO]

Scott Selwood is very uninspiring, would look right at home in the Crows vanilla midfield IMO

 

[leobarryustar]

Not that I suck the chode of Mofra happily, but this is the only thread on BF worth reading.

The Cryptkeeper, you really feel like he’d suck the skin off it tonight given half a chance, don’t you?

 

[FurTheWin]

That's a little harsh on SSelwood, who has battled bravely against injury this year, but I understand
Mofra has to include one Geelong player for the sake of balanced journalism
I can't honestly see any other Cats making this list

 

[AFDogs]

Esava Ratugolea belongs in this list with his 8 disposals, 6 hitouts and .7 goals a game. Amazingly (although playing for Geelong perhaps not that surprising) he receives 2 free kicks a game so a quarter of his disposals come from free kicks

He's a monster and 21 years old. Definitely not the criteria for this list. Dude needs time.

 

[Ronnie Baby]

The Cryptkeeper, you really feel like he’d suck the skin off it tonight given half a chance, don’t you?

He's one of the most watchable posters on the Bay, what a delicious young poster is Mofra

 

[leobarryustar]

He's one of the most watchable posters on the Bay, what a delicious young poster is Mofra

Its bendiiiing....