Perfect long term relationships that go sour

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Yakker said:
Hey

Bill Ray

How’s it going with you. No updates for a while
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Hey
I am doing well, scored myself a "8/10" on bumble about 5 months ago (it was grand final eve that we met for coffee - after a few days of chit chat).
She is just fabulous, love her to bits.
lives nearby, her kids are great and similar ages to mine

so yeh, in short, I am as happy as can be. I've come a long way in the last 18 months or so.
 
Billy ray said:
Hey
I am doing well, scored myself a "8/10" on bumble about 5 months ago (it was grand final eve that we met for coffee - after a few days of chit chat).
She is just fabulous, love her to bits.
lives nearby, her kids are great and similar ages to mine

so yeh, in short, I am as happy as can be. I've come a long way in the last 18 months or so.
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That is fantastic news. I recall you had almost given up at one stage

I wish you the best mate :thumbsu:
 
Yakker said:
That is fantastic news. I recall you had almost given up at one stage

I wish you the best mate :thumbsu:
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Thanks. Appreciate your thoughts.

Yep. I was about to delete my bumble profile on preliminary final weekend and she came up and i swiped right.
She was the same- about to delete hers too.
 

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Billy ray said:
Thanks. Appreciate your thoughts.

Yep. I was about to delete my bumble profile on preliminary final weekend and she came up and i swiped right.
She was the same- about to delete hers too.
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Mate that’s awesome. I got to that stage too but I actually deleted all internet dating profiles. Resigned myself to the fact I’d just go fishing for the rest of my life. Then this great chick brought the house next door. 3 years later we couldn’t be happier hahhahaaa.... funny how when you stop looking it works out.
 
Lawyers will take that into account. After that long. The starting point is 50-50.
What was brought into the relationship at the start by both parties is kinda irrelevant. The lawyers will look at what each party earnt and brought to the relationship over the period, and what is fair and just for each party going forward.
Usually men (who earn more and often do not stop working during a relationship (whereas women often stop for a bit to raise kids amd stop earning and also stop putting super away) will get 30% and women 70%). Usually...
But if the situation is reversed in terms of earning capacity and the like there is no reason it cannot and does not go the other way.

My advice- dont get lawyers involved other than an initial consultation and advice to know where you stand. This will cost a few hundred maybe a grand.
And then negotiate a private settlement.
 
ioppolo said:
If shit hit the fan with my partner I'd hope we're both civil enough to split our stuff equally, and keep what's was ours to begin with
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That's exactly what I thought, then she left me, then she went and took 70% of everything. Protect yourselves people.
 
Yakker said:
That's exactly what I thought, then she left me, then she went and took 70% of everything. Protect yourselves people.
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Very sage advice

One of mates wives left him after 3 years , he was totally blindsided by it had no inkling anything was wrong .

He lawyered up on advice straight away and within 48hours her legal team had already requested all of his assetts etc . She even went after one of his properties which had been in his family for generations

If he didn't do that he would have been cleaned right out
 
MEB_ said:
My stepmum left my dad after nearly 17 years together. None of us saw it coming. She's gone back to her homeland and will only communicate via email.
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Sounds harsh and sad. But the only 2 people who really know what goes on in a relationship are the 2 in it. Offer sympathy etc but don't get involved. (Not saying you would is more a generic comment).
 

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deedog2 said:
A lot of people have said it will get a bit better each day...its just not...
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Dont be afraid to not think about her. You dont disgrace her memory by not thinking of her the moment you wake up.

She isnt coming back and emotionally understanding this one point is the key
 
GreyCrow said:
Dont be afraid to not think about her. You dont disgrace her memory by not thinking of her the moment you wake up.

She isnt coming back and emotionally understanding this one point is the key
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It's just totally involuntary...the thing that's kicked my arse the last week is imagining her with other blokes...its just a f*****n nightmare...
 
deedog2 said:
It's just totally involuntary...the thing that's kicked my arse the last week is imagining her with other blokes...its just a f*****n nightmare...
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Do you mind if I ask how old you are? For no other reason than I can adjust my advice. Were you married? Engaged etc? Is this your first serious relationship? Just a bit of context.
 
deedog2 said:
I realize this is my fault... she left me... so it has to be...
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Why does there need to be fault or blame when a relationship ends?

Your partner made a decision that she'd be happier outside of a relationship with you- there's a million and one reasons why that's the case. And you're going to be happier with someone that's actually in love with you, too- as hard as that is to swallow right now.
 
deedog2 said:
Engaged, 34
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Yeah mate, that’s tough. Understand why you’re angry particularly the thought she is with someone else but you need to let that go. At the end of the day she is moving on and it’s without you. There is not a lot you can do about that mate. As hard as it is accept it and move on. You’ve had your time to grieve and be hurt. Now it’s time to heal and move on. Surely you understand that as long as you hold on to her, what she is doing, who she is with etc it does not help you.

I said it in an earlier post, go and talk to a professional, they will help you work through it. If you can’t move on from this you potentially lose a chance at another meaningful relationship with another.
 
It's hard to come out from under the rock we hide under after a long time
I'm poking my head out now and it's scary I tell ya
I met a lovely woman a few weeks back and we had a coffee last week
We both felt a great connection but her ex absolutely cracked it and has made it difficult for her since
Threatening her by using her kids etc etc
He also still lives in the same house as she let him stay coz he had nowhere else to go
I know, weird set up and she has been upfront with that
But she is super nice
Situations are totally different as I don't need to tell my ex squat
We want more time with each other to see where this goes
I'm patient but it's a difficult one
 
ioppolo said:
How old are you?
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Me nearly 35.

It is a strange age to be dating. Most women (not all but still a significant majority) in my range still want to settle down and have kids. And some are baby crazy. Also other factors in my life mean there is always some issue that pops up. Just gets too hard.

As well I need to look at how I plan the rest of my life and whether I plan on making room for someone else or just live on my terms and plan accordingly.

As per the first paragraph while women have a limited time to have kids I also reckon men have a limited time to establish themselves, career, assets, life direction. Once you hit your 30s its not easy to change. You get stuck in a pattern and that is your life path.

Perhaps i need to relocate. Am just stagnant in Melbourne atm. Life is just going nowhere. And yes this has bugger all to do with relationships but no where else to post and just my 2c.
 
Run n Spread said:
Perhaps i need to relocate. Am just stagnant in Melbourne atm. Life is just going nowhere. And yes this has bugger all to do with relationships but no where else to post and just my 2c.
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If I was single I'd get the **** out of Melbourne asap.

It's hard to relocate overseas when you've got a family & a partner with their own career etc. Take the opportunity and see some of the world :)
 

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Perfect long term relationships that go sour

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