Pretty crap stories

[Scallop Industry Thug]

Post stories that arent very interesting or funny, but can't be written off as completely dull either.

For instance, I had to attend this meet and greet today, but forgot to take off my name tag and walked out with it on my jumper. I was walking down the street and a couple of people laughed at me and one stranger said "Hi Real name" and it made me try and remember who she was for at least 30 seconds. Little did I know she was making fun of me and my ever present name tag. I walked all the way to the tram with it in.

See, no lulz but I bet you read right to then end. You were probably disappointed with it overall.

 

[HugeJohnson]

Nah, I'm good.

 

[Toshowyouwhy]

Hi Matt

 

[blues4flag]

I once opened a thread on Bigfooty labelled "pretty crap stories" and it contained a pretty crap story in the opening post. Weird but true.

 

[Scallop Industry Thug]

That's the spirit.

2 star thread so far, which is about right.

Another crap story: I was waiting at the tram stop this morning and this African dude was waiting there with a Coppers stubbie and playing a plastic guitar. I expected him to do something awesome once on the tram but he didnt and followed Yarra Tram conduct and ticketing regulations with aplomb. I didnt hear from him and dont know where he got off.

The end.

 

[adelaide_40]

The other night a person at the movies said hi not knowing who he was I said hi and walked out my friend asked who he was I said I didn't know lit a smoke drove home and went to sleep.

 

[Ben the Gooner]

I like to have a Gatorade bottle (600mL) full of water with me while I study at my desk. Before I went away, I had a fantastic bottle which never gave me grief, but unfortunately I had to throw it out at the airport (it was empty too, mother****ers). I got a new one yesterday, and I just spilled a reasonable amount, but not too much, all over myself and had to change T-shirts, because the other one got too wet.

 

[Scallop Industry Thug]

I like to have a Gatorade bottle (600mL) full of water with me while I study at my desk. Before I went away, I had a fantastic bottle which never gave me grief, but unfortunately I had to throw it out at the airport (it was empty too, mother****ers). I got a new one yesterday, and I just spilled a reasonable amount, but not too much, all over myself and had to change T-shirts, because the other one got too wet.

Cool.

But even if you had spilt too much (and not just a reasonable amount) the story still would have been average.

 

[Ben the Gooner]

Seeing as I'm doing fairly OK at this so-so thread, I'll offer another.

I recently got an iPhone, and having missed the first bill due to being overseas, mailed held at the post office etc., my ability to send texts and make calls was restricted. I could still receive calls and texts, however. So when the bill was paid, I called Optus, telling them so, to get my calls and texts re-instated. They re-instated my calls first, but it took another call to be able to send texts and access data roaming. I thought the fact that the three things aren't all grouped when they're turning off and on is mildly noteworthy, but no more than that.

 

[Tex_21]

I was bumming around at home once and decided I'd go for a walk around the paddock with the dogs. Went to the dam, and skimmed a few rocks (takes me back) and one bounced five times. True story.

 

[NeRFaHoLIc]

Today, after probably doing my Rubik's cube for the millionth time, I finally wore the green side of my green/red/white corner block to the point where it looked completely white. It made doing the cube slightly difficult. So I found a green wrapper from spearmint 5 gum, cut it to the size of a block and glued it onto the green side. Now my cube is complete.

 

[adelaide_40]

Tonight I was playing uno and almost won but the ****er next to me changed the colour so I had to pick up. Then the person reversed and I had to pick up again. then someone made me draw 2 and I got the colour finally but then I got skipped and someone else won.

 

[finbarr]

See, no lulz but I bet you read right to then end. You were probably disappointed with it overall.

I strongly disagree.

5 Stars.

 

[Copulator]

Some girl I picked up invited me back to her house after a night of drinking. We slept in the same bed, but she wouldn't put out. Out of frustration I stole a pair of her worn undies and drove around with them on my aerial, they flapped in the wind tall and proudly.

 

[Scallop Industry Thug]

A few weeks ago I spent about 7 minutes trying to find North's changes for their game against the Dogs but I forgot it was the split round and the game was the next week.

 

[adelaide_40]

The other day I was at the moves and asked for some popcorn as I'm walking to the cinema the bottom of the box falls open and my popcorn spills all over the floor.

I got a free one though so it was ok.

 

[Scallop Industry Thug]

The other day I was at the moves and asked for some popcorn as I'm walking to the cinema the bottom of the box falls open and my popcorn spills all over the floor.

I got a free one though so it was ok.

A fair result for all parties concerned IMO.

 

[Bowski]

I heard a song once when I was around 5 or 6. Loved it ever since even though I had only ever heard it once. This week I was doing some work in a nursing home and it was playing in the room of one of the patients. Got the name of the artist and bought a few of his albums on the way home.
I wasn't impressed.

 

[adelaide_40]

I once did a poo in the toliet.

I'd hate to see where you did the other ones.

 

[Scallop Industry Thug]

I'd hate to see where you did the other ones.

Well those stories sounds pretty cool, and hence don't belong this in this thread.

 

[Invigoration]

I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.

 

[adelaide_40]

Well those stories sounds pretty cool, and hence don't belong this in this thread.

True.

Another boring story: I was playing Goldeneye on my nintendo emulator and couldn't finish this mission so I switched to mario kart.

 

[rofltown]

When I was out for a run the other day I got the headfone cable caught on my hand and pulled it. It broke the left earpiece so last weekend I drove to Chadstone and bought a new pair. The cheapest sony ones I could get which was a $20 pair.

 

[rdhopkins2]

I was reading the interweb the other day and happened apon a post by Mario The Lothario whom I haven't seen round BF in ages. Where is he?

In other news, a cool day today with a little sun. The warmest July on record apparently.

 

[Invigoration]

Here is one that happened to me the other day that was pretty weird.

Okay so at my school we have faculty advisers that are assigned to students according to their last names. The faculty advisers help students with scheduling conflicts, general questions, help with internships/employment, etc. My adviser is named Jess Depew and she's pretty hot. She's like 25 and she's only been at the school a few years. Anyway, I have been looking into getting an internship at a TV station or something over the summer, and the school helps coordinate these things with an internship database that's maintained by the advisers. You log on with your school ID and password and you can browse internships and stuff. I was having trouble logging on to mine so I went to go see Ms. Depew. That's where all the trouble started.

Firstly, I walked into office like 15 minutes early like an idiot and she's in the middle of lunch. So I awkwardly make stupid stall talk until she's finished.

"Oh, hey, what are you eating?"
"Salmon. I love it. I eat it practically everyday."
"Just salmon? That's pretty weird." Why the hell did I say this?
"Oh, well, I don't know. I try to eat healthy, natural foods...you know, like wild berries and honey and stuff."
"Yeah, I like food too." *facepalm*

Man, I was so nervous. Anyway, we finally begin squaring my stuff away. She looks up what I registered with in the beginning of the year. This is when the crap really hit the fan. This is how the conversation went:

"Okay, you're account name is [my name] and your password is ...'depewissexy'..."

Oh damn. I completely forgot that I put that as my password in the beginning of the year. What the hell was I thinking? It was probably the longest 20 seconds of my life before I finally got my balls together to stand up and leave. Just as I walk out the door she says,

"In the future, you might want to bear in mind what kind of things you want keep to yourself."

I was so freaking embarrassed I wanted to kill myself right then and there. I wanted to run the hell out of there and never, ever see her again. But something about what she just said kept me standing in her doorway. I decided to man up and apologize. I turned to her, looked her straight in the eyes, and swallowed my pride. And then, it hit me like a train full of bricks.

She was eating Salmon.

She tries to eat all healthy, natural foods, like wild berries and honey.

She told me that I might want to bear in mind what kind of things I want to keep to myself.

Ms. Depew was a bear disguised as a human.

Immediately, the bear saw that I had seen through its charade. It roared loudly and took a menacing swipe at me. I deftly avoided its claw and sprinted out of the office.