- Aug 2, 2012
- 34,820
- 56,393
- AFL Club
- Geelong
And my favourite from the great man
“The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.” ― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
-
AFLW 2024 - Round 9 - Indigenous Round - Chat, game threads, injury lists, team lineups and more.
Quotes
- Thread starter Shai
- Start date
- Tagged users None
And my favourite from the great man
“The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.” ― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
- Mar 6, 2014
- 41,562
- 39,805
- AFL Club
- Geelong
I love that, too, Fred. I think I quoted it elsewhere on this board a while ago and knew that, if I had quoted it again here, someone would pick me up for having a bad memory.
Last edited:
- Mar 6, 2014
- 41,562
- 39,805
- AFL Club
- Geelong
“If they don’t keep exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
- Thread starter
- #106
Somehow that made me laugh.
- Mar 6, 2014
- 41,562
- 39,805
- AFL Club
- Geelong
When the white missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land. They said 'Let us pray.' We closed our eyes. When we opened them, we had the Bible and they had the land.
~ Desmond Tutu
America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.
~ David Letterman
I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. God dammit, I'm a billionaire.
~ Howard Hughes
After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box.
~ Italian proverb
Men are like linoleum floors. Lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for 30 years.
~ Betsy Salkind
The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats.
~ Jean Kerr
I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage.
~ Zsa Zsa Gabor
~ Desmond Tutu
America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.
~ David Letterman
I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. God dammit, I'm a billionaire.
~ Howard Hughes
After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box.
~ Italian proverb
Men are like linoleum floors. Lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for 30 years.
~ Betsy Salkind
The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats.
~ Jean Kerr
I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage.
~ Zsa Zsa Gabor
- Mar 6, 2014
- 41,562
- 39,805
- AFL Club
- Geelong
I don't believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we're very skeptical.
~ Arthur C Clarke
As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.
~ John Glenn
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat?
~ Steven Wright
America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric.
~ Doug Hamwell
The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone.
~ George Roberts
If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport
~ Jonathan Winters
I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
~ Robert Benchley
~ Arthur C Clarke
As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.
~ John Glenn
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat?
~ Steven Wright
America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric.
~ Doug Hamwell
The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone.
~ George Roberts
If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport
~ Jonathan Winters
I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
~ Robert Benchley
- Mar 6, 2014
- 41,562
- 39,805
- AFL Club
- Geelong
Some beauties from Steven Wright:
1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
3 - Half the people you know are below average.
4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8 - If you want the rainbow, youhave got to put up with the rain.
9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend...... but she left me before we met.
12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?
13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
19 - I intend to live forever... So far, so good.
21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
3 - Half the people you know are below average.
4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8 - If you want the rainbow, youhave got to put up with the rain.
9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend...... but she left me before we met.
12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?
13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
19 - I intend to live forever... So far, so good.
21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
- Thread starter
- #110
It's discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.
Noël Coward
To be without guile is to be free of deceit, cunning and hypocrisy, and dishonesty in thought or action.
Joseph B. Wirthlin
When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life, for your strength. Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason to give thanks, the fault lies in yourself.
Tecumseh
Noël Coward
To be without guile is to be free of deceit, cunning and hypocrisy, and dishonesty in thought or action.
Joseph B. Wirthlin
When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life, for your strength. Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason to give thanks, the fault lies in yourself.
Tecumseh
- Thread starter
- #112
Sorta wondering if I am 1 of these idiots but anyway -
The learner always begins by finding fault, but the scholar sees the positive merit in everything.
Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel
To find fault is easy; to do better may be difficult.
Plutarch
Sometimes you can't accomplish a goal by being careful and polite.
An idiom attributed to Ben Franklin
The learner always begins by finding fault, but the scholar sees the positive merit in everything.
Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel
To find fault is easy; to do better may be difficult.
Plutarch
Sometimes you can't accomplish a goal by being careful and polite.
An idiom attributed to Ben Franklin
- Thread starter
- #113
Humans aren't as good as we should be in our capacity to empathize with feelings and thoughts of others, be they humans or other animals on Earth. So maybe part of our formal education should be training in empathy. Imagine how different the world would be if, in fact, that were 'reading, writing, arithmetic, empathy.'
- Thread starter
- #114
I'm not concerned with your liking or disliking me... All I ask is that you respect me as a human being.
Jackie Robinson
An individual who breaks a law that conscience tells him is unjust, and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for the law.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Jackie Robinson
An individual who breaks a law that conscience tells him is unjust, and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for the law.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
- Mar 6, 2014
- 41,562
- 39,805
- AFL Club
- Geelong
Very wise quotes from some very wise people, Shai!
I've been reading a book called "Shantaram" recently. There are a lot of quote-worthy passages in that book. I'm normally a speed-reader but this book slows me down and makes me want to re-read certain descriptive passages more than just the one time.
"Some feelings sink so deep into the heart that only loneliness can help you find them again. Some truths are so painful that only shame can help you live with them. Some things are so sad that only your soul can do the crying for them."
Gregory David Roberts- Shantaram
I've been reading a book called "Shantaram" recently. There are a lot of quote-worthy passages in that book. I'm normally a speed-reader but this book slows me down and makes me want to re-read certain descriptive passages more than just the one time.
"Some feelings sink so deep into the heart that only loneliness can help you find them again. Some truths are so painful that only shame can help you live with them. Some things are so sad that only your soul can do the crying for them."
Gregory David Roberts- Shantaram
- Mar 6, 2014
- 41,562
- 39,805
- AFL Club
- Geelong
You know the difference between news and gossip, don't you? News tells you what people did. Gossip tells you how much they enjoyed it.
Gregory David Roberts- Shantaram
Gregory David Roberts- Shantaram
- Mar 6, 2014
- 41,562
- 39,805
- AFL Club
- Geelong
- Mar 6, 2014
- 41,562
- 39,805
- AFL Club
- Geelong
- Thread starter
- #119
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
Aristotle
Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.
Confucius
The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.
Sun Tzu
Aristotle
Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.
Confucius
The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.
Sun Tzu
- Thread starter
- #120
Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree.
Martin Luther
It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.
William Blake
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
Isaac Asimov
Martin Luther
It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.
William Blake
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
Isaac Asimov
cats23
Club Legend
Keep forgetting to look in this thread Shai . So glad to see Martin Luther King feature. 
Another by him...
Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.
I have a book by his wife, the beautiful Coretta Scott King, which has some great quotes in it as well...
Homophobia is like racism and anti-Semitism and other forms of bigotry in that it seeks to dehumanize a large group of people, to deny their humanity, their dignity and personhood.
Another by him...
Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.
I have a book by his wife, the beautiful Coretta Scott King, which has some great quotes in it as well...
Homophobia is like racism and anti-Semitism and other forms of bigotry in that it seeks to dehumanize a large group of people, to deny their humanity, their dignity and personhood.
cats_09
Otters United
- Jun 21, 2011
- 64,815
- 136,367
- AFL Club
- Geelong
- Moderator
- #122
Just came across thread - so I hope I'm not repeating some that have already been mentioned. I have a couple of books at home on quotes, and a few that stood out to me for whatever reason are:
- We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars
Oscar Wilde
- It's a sign of your own worth sometimes if you are hated by the right people
Miles Franklin
- One ought every day at least hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and, if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
- We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars
Oscar Wilde
- It's a sign of your own worth sometimes if you are hated by the right people
Miles Franklin
- One ought every day at least hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and, if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
- Mar 6, 2014
- 41,562
- 39,805
- AFL Club
- Geelong
Good work, cats09!
I had read Oscar Wilde's quote elsewhere- but not here. Doesn't matter if there are any repeats (though I'm sure yours aren't)- repeated quotes indicates their popularity!
Just out of interest- what are your quote books? I've got a little pocket book of quotes- might be by Collins- and a bigger one- I'll look the title up later and put it here.
Keep up the good work- I look forward to reading more of your quotes!
cats_09
Otters United
- Jun 21, 2011
- 64,815
- 136,367
- AFL Club
- Geelong
- Moderator
- #124
The main book I have is called "Pocket Positives - more than 100 inspirational quotes to help you get the most out of like". Not sure 'pocket' is the best word to describe the book considering it looks like a novel, but I also have a few other little pocket size books.
- Mar 6, 2014
- 41,562
- 39,805
- AFL Club
- Geelong
Sounds like a great book!
I dug out two of mine- didn't even start looking for the 3rd. It was Collins who published my pocketbook "Dictionary of Quotations"- which actually IS small enough to fit into my pocket. And I found another book of quotations, called "1001 Insults, Put-downs and Comebacks", which is very humorous. I'd forgotten I owned that.
The other book I have is a big, white hardback.
