Preview Richmond v Collingwood - Community Shield Game - IKON Park Tuesday February 27th 6.40pm
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An hour before the action starts so I thought I'd drop this here (completely wrong thread - belongs in the drugs thread probably) to give you good folks something to "mull" over while you wait for the big game...
How long before a rival, drug enabled football code is set up in competition to the AFL ?
It's happened in swimming - James Magnusson is going to dope himself to the eyeballs and try to win $1M by breaking the sprint world record. I don't know if it's the 50m or the 100m freestyle. Does it matter ? Will it count ? Does anyone care ?
The new footy comp will be called the FUAFL otherwise known as the Fkd Up AFL and the participants will be able to smoke joints, snort coke, stick ketamine tablets up their dates (or whatever they do) inject heroin, smoke crack, eat ice, rub methamphetamine into their eyeballs (or whatever they do) sniff petrol and after the game have beers and a Bex and a little lie down.
The FUAFL will be run by CEO Stephen Dank and his trusty sidekick General Manager, The Weapon. James Hird will be the Operations Manager to make sure that the milkshakes are tested and the peptides are lined up in nice rows on the trestle tables for the players when they come into the rooms. Jab Watson will be on hand at the end of the game to give out the Down Low medals, once everyone has come down a bit. Jab will also make the coffees.
Players like Lachie Keefe and the other one from Coll, Joel Smith and Clarrie Oliver will make up the most popular and hilarious team called the Bad Boys (yep you already know their clubsong) and they will enter the ground in Angry Anderson's Batmobile hanging off the sides like a bunch of bogans from (insert your favourite bogan suburb) in a cloud of smoke. The bulk of the team will be made up of drug cheats throughout Australia's illustrious sporting history like the cycling guy Vinnicomb and a whole bunch of other cheaters (insert their names if you can remember them).
The game will start with a huge bag of ha'shish dropped by a crane into the centre circle. Once the bag lands Clarrie and the boys all make a dash for the stash. There no 666 rule and no fkg stand rule, however there is a fall over rule.
Of course they're all off their faces on a bender and they stumble around like stoners trying to find their way to the fridge or hypers on a dance floor or mashers in a mosh pit. Chaos footy is the order of the day. Well done Dimma !
The umpires wear flouro stick flashing light uniforms and of course the whole event is played on a Saturday night beginning at 1am at the G, in the dark with doof doof and Dubstep keeping the good burghers of East Melbourne awake until the wee hours (actual wee) until game is decided by a throwdown of British Bulldog at the break of dawn. Bonus pints (sorry points) for concussions.
Anyone knocking out a bouncer or their former "best mate" with a coward punch gets double pints, (sorry points) and whoever gets the stash bag gets to keep it and take it back to their recently repossessed home as a gift for their despairing and frightened wife and kids sitting in the gutter of their former residence. Steele Sidearse keeping them company in his open at the front "dressing gown".
Spectators and fans are thrilled at the sight of the "playas" either racing around like loons having hallucinations of grandeur and wearing $2K sunglasses and $30K watches and shouting "screw all you mofos" OR crawling around on their hands and knees trying to find a little white pill and eventually eating the "grass".
Some playas try to climb the goal posts but are booed by the crowd for being "de rigueur" whilst other playas try to chat up Eleni Glouftas or the other lady umpire with the nice bottom (apologies to the ladies there for that pithy piece of misogynistic sexism but I was trying to make a point).
There's no "ball", except for dozens of screw bags of H and there's no siren except for the ones going off every five seconds like at a rave (apparently). There are however several playas attempting a "360" which is an effort to snort the entire boundary line in one go. Shame Mumford wins that easily and raises his massive arms in triumph
. The crowd goes bananas and heads to the bar.
The half time entertainment is provided by Charlie Sheen and his band Two and A Half Prostitutes (the half prostitute being the poor woman set on fire at the reinstated St Kilda dwarf throwing after party from last week's match) who seem to have trouble finding their way to the stage and thousands of school kids in shiny costumes are barred from entering the stadium. At least somebody was manning the gates in all the mayhem. FUAFL is an 18+ event. Supposedly.
All in all the FUAFL has a few teething problems (mainly from rubbing the coke around the top of their gums) in the first season but hey, who really gives a smile everyone was off their faces anyway and Hirdy looked like he hadn't aged a day since 2014 so all good. Sunday everyone goes down to the local for a pick me up and to smash some beers and eat a pie. Ahhh, don't you think it's finally time to embrace the culture, the drug culture ?
Yep, they're on a winner...well at least they THINK they are...
I will show myself out....
How long before a rival, drug enabled football code is set up in competition to the AFL ?
It's happened in swimming - James Magnusson is going to dope himself to the eyeballs and try to win $1M by breaking the sprint world record. I don't know if it's the 50m or the 100m freestyle. Does it matter ? Will it count ? Does anyone care ?
The new footy comp will be called the FUAFL otherwise known as the Fkd Up AFL and the participants will be able to smoke joints, snort coke, stick ketamine tablets up their dates (or whatever they do) inject heroin, smoke crack, eat ice, rub methamphetamine into their eyeballs (or whatever they do) sniff petrol and after the game have beers and a Bex and a little lie down.
The FUAFL will be run by CEO Stephen Dank and his trusty sidekick General Manager, The Weapon. James Hird will be the Operations Manager to make sure that the milkshakes are tested and the peptides are lined up in nice rows on the trestle tables for the players when they come into the rooms. Jab Watson will be on hand at the end of the game to give out the Down Low medals, once everyone has come down a bit. Jab will also make the coffees.
Players like Lachie Keefe and the other one from Coll, Joel Smith and Clarrie Oliver will make up the most popular and hilarious team called the Bad Boys (yep you already know their clubsong) and they will enter the ground in Angry Anderson's Batmobile hanging off the sides like a bunch of bogans from (insert your favourite bogan suburb) in a cloud of smoke. The bulk of the team will be made up of drug cheats throughout Australia's illustrious sporting history like the cycling guy Vinnicomb and a whole bunch of other cheaters (insert their names if you can remember them).
The game will start with a huge bag of ha'shish dropped by a crane into the centre circle. Once the bag lands Clarrie and the boys all make a dash for the stash. There no 666 rule and no fkg stand rule, however there is a fall over rule.
Of course they're all off their faces on a bender and they stumble around like stoners trying to find their way to the fridge or hypers on a dance floor or mashers in a mosh pit. Chaos footy is the order of the day. Well done Dimma !
The umpires wear flouro stick flashing light uniforms and of course the whole event is played on a Saturday night beginning at 1am at the G, in the dark with doof doof and Dubstep keeping the good burghers of East Melbourne awake until the wee hours (actual wee) until game is decided by a throwdown of British Bulldog at the break of dawn. Bonus pints (sorry points) for concussions.
Anyone knocking out a bouncer or their former "best mate" with a coward punch gets double pints, (sorry points) and whoever gets the stash bag gets to keep it and take it back to their recently repossessed home as a gift for their despairing and frightened wife and kids sitting in the gutter of their former residence. Steele Sidearse keeping them company in his open at the front "dressing gown".
Spectators and fans are thrilled at the sight of the "playas" either racing around like loons having hallucinations of grandeur and wearing $2K sunglasses and $30K watches and shouting "screw all you mofos" OR crawling around on their hands and knees trying to find a little white pill and eventually eating the "grass".
Some playas try to climb the goal posts but are booed by the crowd for being "de rigueur" whilst other playas try to chat up Eleni Glouftas or the other lady umpire with the nice bottom (apologies to the ladies there for that pithy piece of misogynistic sexism but I was trying to make a point).
There's no "ball", except for dozens of screw bags of H and there's no siren except for the ones going off every five seconds like at a rave (apparently). There are however several playas attempting a "360" which is an effort to snort the entire boundary line in one go. Shame Mumford wins that easily and raises his massive arms in triumph
. The crowd goes bananas and heads to the bar.The half time entertainment is provided by Charlie Sheen and his band Two and A Half Prostitutes (the half prostitute being the poor woman set on fire at the reinstated St Kilda dwarf throwing after party from last week's match) who seem to have trouble finding their way to the stage and thousands of school kids in shiny costumes are barred from entering the stadium. At least somebody was manning the gates in all the mayhem. FUAFL is an 18+ event. Supposedly.
All in all the FUAFL has a few teething problems (mainly from rubbing the coke around the top of their gums) in the first season but hey, who really gives a smile everyone was off their faces anyway and Hirdy looked like he hadn't aged a day since 2014 so all good. Sunday everyone goes down to the local for a pick me up and to smash some beers and eat a pie. Ahhh, don't you think it's finally time to embrace the culture, the drug culture ?
Yep, they're on a winner...well at least they THINK they are...
I will show myself out....
DontArgue4
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Classic 8 point game
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It will be about how the umps give them so many free kicks compared to us no doubt.
Come say hi to the supporters of a real successful club of the modern era (no ump assistance)
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Just sent them an invite as well.
Groupie_
time to return the traditional Richmond yellow
Groupie_
time to return the traditional Richmond yellow
youve got your best shirt on
Groupie_
time to return the traditional Richmond yellow
Cant see collingwood scoring tbh
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Surely theyll get a few gifts in front of goal? Statistically they get the highest proportion of goals from free kicks (52%) compared to the AFL average.
Groupie_
time to return the traditional Richmond yellow
pies fans think we are calling it an umpires flag just because of the umpiring in the grand final. its all year
absolute peasants
actually its far more than all year
free kicks 2017-23
if I had a dollar for how many times the umps got them out of gaol with a soft dodgey free in close games in the last 2 years I'd be as rich as mcchins
the umps are this mobs best friends
absolute peasants
actually its far more than all year
free kicks 2017-23
if I had a dollar for how many times the umps got them out of gaol with a soft dodgey free in close games in the last 2 years I'd be as rich as mcchins
the umps are this mobs best friends
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And deep down they know it lol. They just pretend they don't. But that's OK.
Everyone knows they are gifted frees and they start 6 goals ahead every game before the ball has even been bounced.
I'm just wondering does anyone know the dress code for icon Park and if there is one
Morro
Brownlow Medallist
Some of the comments in here are so embarrassing.
Anyway, win tonight and we win the flag, book mark it.
Anyway, win tonight and we win the flag, book mark it.
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Will this game count as back to back flags for them you reckon?
- Dec 9, 2006
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Being Carltons home, either used car salesman, real estate agent nouveau or grifter chic
Groupie_
time to return the traditional Richmond yellow
or benji veniamin
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Tiges have been dominating in the ressies, just can’t kick straight. McAuliffe is playing off his head as is Clarke.
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Life, death, taxes, 2 red time goals…..
rfctigerarmy
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