Rome vs the Barbarians - Victoria vs South Australia

[Biffinator]

Comrades.

When I read any sort of virulent posting from a West Horshamite, (say, Flying Crow's ATTENTION - Supporters of Most Victorian Clubs"), I can understand how the Roman Legionary Commanders felt twenty one centuries ago as they stood on the western side of the Rhine and looked over the riverbank into the gloom of the primordial Forest.

How many times does one have to chastise these West Horsham barbarians and thereby remind them of their lowly status in the scheme of things ??

Imagine for a second that you are the Legate, say, of the Legio XVI Gallica. Behind you stands civilisation and the warmth of the Mediterranean.

At your command are 5000 odd men, backed up by Auxiliaries and a detachment of Eastern Archers from Palmyra.

On the other side of the Rhine are the forces of darkness, disintegration and hooliganism - in other words, the embodiment of West Horsham.

And here is the futility of it all.

It does not matter how often you cross the Rhine to bring the sword to their lands, you can still hear their ululations in the forest as you return home to the legionary fortress.

Anyone who is consigned by Fate to live in West Horsham has got nothing going for them: neither drinkable water, nor barbers, nor employment prospects, nor any Commodore beyond the VK Copper Rocket. Wayne Weidemann, verily, is their King: Rex Germanorum.

And yet they persist with their drum-banging.

So at such times I can relate, in a way, to the Emperor Caracalla, who rightly added the epithet Germanicus to his titles after his campaign of AD 213 - but it all meant nothing in the end. Have a look at his visage below. To borrow a line from Bruce Springsteen: they're still there, he's all gone.

Biffinator

 

[Damp Squarie]

You should've just posted your point

 

[FlyingCrow]

Comrades.

When I read any sort of virulent posting from a West Horshamite, (say, Flying Crow's ATTENTION - Supporters of Most Victorian Clubs"), I can understand how the Roman Legionary Commanders felt twenty one centuries ago as they stood on the western side of the Rhine and looked over the riverbank into the gloom of the primordial Forest.

How many times does one have to chastise these West Horsham barbarians and thereby remind them of their lowly status in the scheme of things ??

Imagine for a second that you are the Legate, say, of the Legio XVI Gallica. Behind you stands civilisation and the warmth of the Mediterranean.

At your command are 5000 odd men, backed up by Auxiliaries and a detachment of Eastern Archers from Palmyra.

On the other side of the Rhine are the forces of darkness, disintegration and hooliganism - in other words, the embodiment of West Horsham.

And here is the futility of it all.

It does not matter how often you cross the Rhine to bring the sword to their lands, you can still hear their ululations in the forest as you return home to the legionary fortress.

Anyone who is consigned by Fate to live in West Horsham has got nothing going for them: neither drinkable water, nor barbers, nor employment prospects, nor any Commodore beyond the VK Copper Rocket. Wayne Weidemann, verily, is their King: Rex Germanorum.

And yet they persist with their drum-banging.

So at such times I can relate, in a way, to the Emperor Caracalla, who rightly added the epithet Germanicus to his titles after his campaign of AD 213 - but it all meant nothing in the end. Have a look at his visage below. To borrow a line from Bruce Springsteen: they're still there, he's all gone.

Biffinator

Thats actually funny from a guy who lives in NSW

 

[Hugh Jorgen]

Comrades.


On the other side of the Rhine are the forces of darkness, disintegration and hooliganism - in other words, the embodiment of West Horsham.





Biffinator

Don't you mean "the Murray" instead of the Rhine? And the other side of the Murray from Delegate is Victoria, not SA. You're mixing your metaphors too much.

SA makes the best Rhine Reisling outside of Germany, so if we are referencing German geography and culture, it is we who look down on you, Urinator.

 

[Stronzo]

Don't you mean "the Murray" instead of the Rhine? And the other side of the Murray from Delegate is Victoria, not SA. You're mixing your metaphors too much.

SA makes the best Rhine Reisling outside of Germany, so if we are referencing German geography and culture, it is we who look down on you, Urinator.

You cannot look down on someone when you live in the geographical and genetic depression that is South Australia.

It is good that you can hang your hat on your primary production skills, all peasants and peons need something to be proud of.

 

[xamol]

Where the hell is West Horsham?

 

[Orange]

The Romans are history.

The Germanic tribes went on to dominate Europe and spread forth across the globe.

The mullet shall one day be the haircut of choice the length and breadth of this land.

 

[Damp Squarie]

You cannot look down on someone when you live in the geographical and genetic depression that is South Australia.

It is good that you can hang your hat on your primary production skills, all peasants and peons need something to be proud of.

...and we took the 4 points yesterday off of a siamese abberation to the West Coast

 

[Hugh Jorgen]

The Romans are history.

The Germanic tribes went on to dominate Europe and spread forth across the globe.

Good point, Orange. That snivelling Biff-urinator is probably a Celt himself.

 

[oogac]

Where the hell is West Horsham?

I would take a wild guess and say its west of Horsham, east of Eucla

 

[Biffinator]

Good point, Orange. That snivelling Biff-urinator is probably a Celt himself.

Orange, thanks for the history lesson. I appreciate it.

HJ, as you already know, punning is the lowest form of wit. I know you can do better.

Now, here is an image of the Ludovisi Battle Sarcophagus, HJ for your delectation, if not edification.

It pretty much sums up the dynamic between Victoria and the barbarians to the west of the border, with the latter having, as they do, little or no come back by virtue of living in the Hole:

Biffinator

 

[someday-somehow]

Orange, thanks for the history lesson. I appreciate it.

HJ, as you already know, punning is the lowest form of wit. I know you can do better.

Now, here is an image of the Ludovisi Battle Sarcophagus, HJ for your delectation, if not edification.

It pretty much sums up the dynamic between Victoria and the barbarians to the west of the border, with the latter having, as they do, little or no come back by virtue of living in the Hole:

Biffinator

I think you'll find that's a representation of a roman orgy biff.....probably not unlike what goes on 4 out of 7 in most residential dwellings in West Horsham, I noticed a few animals mixed in with mostly men (or women that look like men) so it's probably a failry accurate portrayal.

 

[Hugh Jorgen]

Yeah, but who was IN the sarcophagus? A Roman per chance? Slain by a Barbarian?

South Australia Uber Alles!!!

 

[Biffinator]

I think you'll find that's a representation of a roman orgy biff.....probably not unlike what goes on 4 out of 7 in most residential dwellings in West Horsham, I noticed a few animals mixed in with mostly men (or women that look like men) so it's probably a failry accurate portrayal.

SS, thanks for your perceptive comment. You are dead right.

In West Horsham, to quote Nietzsche, "All gods are dead. Everything is permitted."

Evidence is close at hand: the recent episode of incest, to say nothing of placing fellow bogans in 44 gallon drums in a bank-vault.

Yes, in West Horsham, everything with a hole in it is in danger of becoming a victim in a sexual sense, be it a Roast Chicken from Red Rooters (without the seasoning) or a vacuum cleaner.

Biffinator

 

[Geelong_Sicko]

Yes, in West Horsham, everything with a hole in it is in danger of becoming a victim in a sexual sense, be it a Roast Chicken from Red Rooters (without the seasoning) or a vacuum cleaner.

Biffinator

They don't need seasoning anyway. Not when a West Horshamite's just about to apply the 'special' sauce to his bird...

 

[tribey]

South Australia Uber Alles!!!

Quintilius Varus = Biffinator.

Augustus = Demetriou.

"Biffinator, legiones redde!"

 

[Stronzo]

East Eucla, where "I love you dad" has a whole different meaning.

 

[super_phaser]

WEST HORSHAM LOL

That is gold.

Ill be using that one from now on, thanks Biff

 

[westdog54]

Biff, at times I think that your vast intellect is wasted on bay 13.

It is most certainly wasted on your choice of target for this particular observation.

But one must not complain. For too long the intellectual standards on this board were trawiling aimlessly through the dark ages, and then you came along to kick start Bay 13's glorious renaissance.

Never, ever leave this board.

 

[Hugh Jorgen]

Yes, in West Horsham, everything with a hole in it is in danger of becoming a victim in a sexual sense...

Biffinator

Do you mean like in a ROMAN orgy? Like Caligula?

Where do you get off comparing Victoria to the Roman Empire anyway? The MCG's no Colosseum.

 

[nutcase888]

posted by Biffinator
Comrades.

When I read any sort of virulent posting from a West Horshamite, (say, Flying Crow's ATTENTION - Supporters of Most Victorian Clubs"), I can understand how the Roman Legionary Commanders felt twenty one centuries ago as they stood on the western side of the Rhine and looked over the riverbank into the gloom of the primordial Forest.

How many times does one have to chastise these West Horsham barbarians and thereby remind them of their lowly status in the scheme of things ??

Imagine for a second that you are the Legate, say, of the Legio XVI Gallica. Behind you stands civilisation and the warmth of the Mediterranean.

At your command are 5000 odd men, backed up by Auxiliaries and a detachment of Eastern Archers from Palmyra.

On the other side of the Rhine are the forces of darkness, disintegration and hooliganism - in other words, the embodiment of West Horsham.

And here is the futility of it all.

It does not matter how often you cross the Rhine to bring the sword to their lands, you can still hear their ululations in the forest as you return home to the legionary fortress.

Anyone who is consigned by Fate to live in West Horsham has got nothing going for them: neither drinkable water, nor barbers, nor employment prospects, nor any Commodore beyond the VK Copper Rocket. Wayne Weidemann, verily, is their King: Rex Germanorum.

And yet they persist with their drum-banging.

So at such times I can relate, in a way, to the Emperor Caracalla, who rightly added the epithet Germanicus to his titles after his campaign of AD 213 - but it all meant nothing in the end. Have a look at his visage below. To borrow a line from Bruce Springsteen: they're still there, he's all gone.

WTF are u on about? I would have thought as a Dees supporter u would not want to draw attention to yourself. seriously you guys are as bad as anything Carlton has served up during this decade. As for the two south australian teams, they have both achieved alot more during their time in the AFL than what Melbourne has in the last 40 years.

 

[Biffinator]

Yeah, but who was IN the sarcophagus? A Roman per chance? Slain by a Barbarian?

South Australia Uber Alles!!!

South Australia Uber Alles is a cracker.

HJ, whatever the differences in our hairlines are, I urge you to stay around on B13

Biffinator

 

[Biffinator]

WTF are u on about? I would have thought as a Dees supporter u would not want to draw attention to yourself. seriously you guys are as bad as anything Carlton has served up during this decade. As for the two south australian teams, they have both achieved alot more during their time in the AFL than what Melbourne has in the last 40 years.

Wd54 and SP - thanks for your generous comments.

Now Nutcase888, as the more perceptive dyer-tribe above well knows, the Romans did not always prevail over the barbarian tribes - hence Quinctilius Varus and the XVII, XVIII and XIX legiones in the Teutoburg Forest.

A big 0-3 result. They never actually used those numbers again.

Nor will a VFL Foundation Club - MFC, GFC, CollFC, CFC, Swans, EFC and Sainters - or our federated allies to the West (Eagles and Freo) always triumph over barbarian hordes in the middle of the continent.

Irrespective of transient results that can come and go, the Order of Things still remains, and there is nothing that you or I or Wayne Weidemann can do to alter that.

Biffinator.

 

[nutcase888]

Wd54 and SP - thanks for your generous comments.

Now Nutcase888, as the more perceptive dyer-tribe above well knows, the Romans did not always prevail over the barbarian tribes - hence Quinctilius Varus and the XVII, XVIII and XIX legiones in the Teutoburg Forest.

A big 0-3 result. They never actually used those numbers again.

Nor will a VFL Foundation Club - MFC, GFC, CollFC, CFC, Swans, EFC and Sainters - or our federated allies to the West (Eagles and Freo) always triumph over barbarian hordes in the middle of the continent.

Irrespective of transient results that can come and go, the Order of Things still remains, and there is nothing that you or I or Wayne Weidemann can do to alter that.

Biffinator.

lol i think the romans need to cut their weakest link then. RIP MCF

 

[Biffinator]

Wd54 and SP - thanks for your generous

lol i think the romans need to cut their weakest link then. RIP MCF

Nut888, here is someone you should listen to - the Merovingian from MR and MRev.




He has any number of good lines and his taste in women and wine is exemplary.

Echoing Lucretius, he states to Morpheus, Trinity and Neo: "there is no escaping the nature of the Universe."

Now, with me sitting in Melbourne, and you sprawled somewhere in West Horsham, do I really need to spell out what that means, causality-wise, in the context of this thread?

Biffinator.