fitzroybowiedog
Diminishing Returns.
- Mar 13, 2007
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AFLW 2024 - Round 9 - Indigenous Round - Chat, game threads, injury lists, team lineups and more.
Official Match Thread S19 R1 - Gold City Royals vs Roys FFC @ The Golden Throne
- Thread starter okeydoke7
- Start date
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fitzroybowiedog
Diminishing Returns.
- Mar 13, 2007
- 26,100
- 33,832
- AFL Club
- Western Bulldogs
- Other Teams
- FFC, CFC, 76ers, Oilers, Roys FFC
Marlowe
𝓤𝓷𝓽𝓸𝓾𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓫𝓵𝓮
- Mar 12, 2012
- 29,931
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- Gold City Royals
Coke Vanilla> Pepsi Max.
Coincidently I found vending machine today that served Coke Vanilla which I thought was great because I thought maybe they had discontinued it or something.
timtamWB
Resident Biscuit
Where did you get a torpedo?
What do I think of Chezzalenko Reborn? I think he is a good man. I like him. I got nothing against him, but I'm definitely gonna make orphans of his children
What did you say? Lets put on tuxedos?
What a bench. There, all counted.
Papa Juggs
Hall of Famer
- Banned
- #283
The birds are chirping and the sun is starting to come up over the hills. I awake from my peaceful slumber in the middle of a field a little hazy from the night before. I sit up and brush the grass off me and start looking around for my hat. "Oh shit, where is it?" "Marlowe will not be happy with me". Then I turn around to be greeted by a 7 foot tall minotaur clearing up some of the mess. He grunts at me. "Have you seen my hat sir?" I ask him. He just grunts again shrugging his shoulders as if to say "I dunno". "Thanks anyway" I reply standing up to have a look around. There are a few passed out villagers in the fields with some more cleaning things up and packing away furniture onto ox carts but I don't see my hat anywhere. I see the road isn't far away so I make my way to it. Doesn't seem to be too much traffic this morning but there are some fresh unicorn poop cookies, as good a breakfast as any. I guess I'll follow the golden brick road in the direction of the castles.
Walking in the hot sun for about 15 minutes suddenly a shadow comes overhead. "Some sort of giant bird?". I hold my hand up to the sun to try to get a better look but it's blurry. Then it is coming right for me. I'm not sure what it is, I panic and start running the other direction. It lands behind me so I turn around to have a look. There is a man on the back of a Pegasus, he is wearing a shining suit of golden armour. He steps down off his mount and approaches me. "Good day" I say not quite sure what is going on. The man draws his sword and I gasp in horror. Is this some sort of invader to our land? Come to cut me down in my prime before I even get to play a game for the Royals?
"Only ****ing with you Juggs" says the man sheathing his sword and removing his helmet. "Easty!, you had me going there for a second you bastard". I approach him and give raising me knee to his groin but he blocks the shot. "You don't want to do that" he says revealing revealing his armoured and bejeweled codpiece. "Well that's quite the accessory you have there" I laugh. He laughs back and asks me "What are you doing out here, and where is your hat?". "I'm trying to find my way to the Golden Throne and the hat... well I think I had it last night when we were sitting around the bonfire but my memory is hazy and I really don't know". "Ok I shall help you look for it, Marlowe will not be impressed if you turn up without it". He reaches into a pouch on his belt producing a golden whistle. He gives it 3 sharp blows and another Pegasus descends from the skies already equipped with riding gear.
"I assume you know how to ride?" enquires Easty. "Ummm" "Don't worry Juggs you'll learn quickly". He jumps on his pegasus and I jump on mine. "Ok how do I make it go?" "Just give it a nudge on the reins, like riding a horse". I pull slightly on the reigns and the pegasus launches into a quick gallop before taking off into the air. Easty is quickly along side and we're heading towards Gold City proper. The view is amazing but I'm a bit queazy looking down. I can see the fields, the houses, the castles. There is lakes, rivers and forests and off a long way in the distance snow capped peaks. "That must be where Mt Buller is" I think to myself remembering the club I once captained. I quickly snap out of my sightseeing as Easty is trying to get my attention "HEY JUGGS!!!". "YEAH?" I shout back with the wind in my face. "FOLLOW ME" he says. "I'LL TRY". We swoop down over a large shimmering lake, the water is so clear and the colour a deep blue. For a brief second I think I see a mermaid. Perhaps I'm dreaming but who knows. Easty lands on a rocky beach at the edge of the lake. So now I have to land this thing. I pull back on the reins and I close my eyes. I feel a slight thud as the feet of my ride hit the ground before it trots to a halt. "You can open your eyes now Juggs" says Easty laughing at me. I jump down slightly embarrassed but exhilarated by the flight.
There is a forest just over beyond the rocky beach and on the other side of the lake I can see the tower tops of giant majestic castles. "This here be the Old Dark Forest, it is where you will find The Old Dark Navy's. He is wise old bugger and he can help you find you hat. Once you have found it meet the boss at the Golden Throne." He points out across the lake in the direction of the castles. "You see the highest tower, that one is the Golden Throne. Marlowe will be up there waiting for you." With that he mounts his pegasus and both of them fly away into the distance. Here I am alone again not quite sure where to go so start to wander into the forest. The first thing I see is a small wooden sign nailed to a tree "Private property, trespassers will be drawn and quartered". "Well surely I'm not a trespasser?" I see some golden cobble stones making a path through the trees. "Well I guess everywhere is paved with gold". "Who are you talking to?" a man asks from behind a tree. I look around to see where the voice is coming from. Suddenly I am crash tackled into the ground, I try to fight my attacker off but he has me pinned. He's extremely strong to keep me down, I would give hive a smack in the teeth but he has this grill protecting his face. "I mean you no harm, I'm just looking for ODN" I say wearily. "Ah you must be Juggs" the guys says helping me to my feet. "Blacky's the name, I come from a competition in a far away land called the NFL". He offers his hand for a shake and I oblige seeing he is wearing a strange orange garment with the number 18 on it. "I was told you would be coming this way and we're to travel to the Golden Throne to meet Marlowe together. "Well I have to visit ODN, have you seen his house?". "You must mean that spooky cottage over there" he says pointing to a place that I hadn't seen before but was now clearly visible.
"I guess this is the place". I go to knock on the door when a small sliding flap opens and the voice of an old man snaps "Who goes there?". "It's Juggs" "and Blacky" my companion pipes up. "What's the password?". "Password?, nobody told me the password". "Do you know the password Blacky?" I ask slightly panicked. He thinks for a minute and then he says "stand back" puts his helmet back on and starts charging towards the door. ODN opens the door and Blacky goes tumbling inside the old cottage knocking over chairs a table and an old bookshelf. "Well that didn't go quite to plan". ODN and I laugh at his antics. I can now see the old man is wearing a long dark navy blue hooded robe with a simple golden string around the waist. "Come inside, I hope you're thirsty, I've just whipped up a delightful concoction" he gestures towards a bubbling, steaming cauldron. Blacky stands up from the pile of old books and removes his helmet once again revealing his goofy smile.
We sit down at an old wooden table with a candlestick in the middle illuminating the scene. The place is actually not too bad. There are some old paintings hanging on the old stone walls which is some places looked a bit strange as barely any of the walls are straight here. There is a large desk towards the front of the house with a high back chair beside the windows facing inwards. On the desk are various knick-knacks, old magazines and what look to be vials containing some sort of liquids. "Is this some sort of brewery?" I ask ODN as he pours out some drinks for us from the cauldron over the fireplace. "I'm just a humble old recluse that likes to dabble in a bit of alchemy is all". He sits down at the table handing us our drinks in fine golden goblets. I can now see the liquid is purple through the slight haze of fog coming off the top. I take a swig of my drink and it has quite a kick to it but is somehow ice cold going down. Suddenly I'm seeing stars and rainbows but in an instant the feeling passes. "Wowzor, this drink is magic". "Well it might be a little magical" the old man says smiling as he pulls his hood back for the first time obviously proud of his latest creation. "I was told you can help me find my hat". "You've lost your hat already?". "What hat? I didn't get a hat, Blacky protests". "I shall make you one now he says, I just need something to use as a base. That will do" he says pointing to the helmet on the table. Blacky is cautious and holds it close to his chest. "You do realise qootyers don't wear helmets, are you a real man or not?". "How dare you! he says thrusting the helmet at the old man. "Do what you will".
The Old Dark Navy's pulls out a handkerchief from his pocket and places it over the helmet. He then produces a magic wand seemingly out of thin air and begins to recite an short incantation. "Toppalla, hatticca!!!" he then removes the handkerchief revealing a purple velvet top hot a bit like my own but maybe a few inches shorter. I has the same horse pictures the helmet had and it has an orange band around the middle which matches the colour of Blacky's jersey. "NEATO!!!" Blacky exclaims trying on his new hat. "Now Juggs step into my office" he gestures towards the large desk towards the window.
I sit there across from ODN as he opens a large draw in the desk and produces a crystal ball.
"Now lets find your hat shall we". Suddenly images start to appear. There is a man sneaking off the Roys bus I had confronted yesterday. He must have been concealed by the exhaust fumes. "I recognise that guy, it's 3KZ is Football". There are then some images of him enjoying the banquet and festivities. Then I see myself passed out in the field holding my hat. 3KZ approaches me and snatches it placing it on his own head before scurrying off into the night. "That dirty mongrel!!!" I snarl. "Do you know where he is now?". ODN moves his hands around is fleeting patterns and more images appear. What is shown is quite explicit and ODN quickly waves his hand and the crystal ball goes lifeless. "He's in the red light district" ODN says with a wry smile on his face. "I might have visited that corner a town a few times when I first came to Gold City but not these days. You'll have to take the ferry out across the lake, Mickey should be coming soon."
With that Blacky and I wave farewell to ODN and make our way out back towards the lake. When we get there a steamboat is waiting and a giant mouse is waving at us to come aboard. "Hi guys I'm Mickey Mouse just come up the gang plank and we can get going".
The lake is full of all sorts of strange creatures. I keep an eye out for that mermaid I thought I saw earlier but I can't spot her, I must have been imagining things. After a short while the castles of Gold City start to rise up and we approach a wharf. The place is truly magnificent, I stand on the bow of the steamboat in awe just taking in the scenery. Some of the towers have the flag of the team waving in the wind. I start to think about the impending qooty match in just a couple of days, it's so exciting to finally be able to play again after such a long off season.
We start to disembark and I turn to ask Mickey "You wouldn't know where the red light district is would you?" he just blows a raspberry at me and I take that as a no. Blacky and I wander down the wharf and into the city. "Oh I think I know the way from here, I'm not too interested in the red light district business so I'll leave you to it Juggs". We have a parting fist bump and go our separate ways as I continue into a dark corner of the city which seems a little bit seedier than even that part of town I had found the Inn a couple of days prior. Night is starting to fall as streetlamps come on. I keep an eye out for red lights.
Walking in the hot sun for about 15 minutes suddenly a shadow comes overhead. "Some sort of giant bird?". I hold my hand up to the sun to try to get a better look but it's blurry. Then it is coming right for me. I'm not sure what it is, I panic and start running the other direction. It lands behind me so I turn around to have a look. There is a man on the back of a Pegasus, he is wearing a shining suit of golden armour. He steps down off his mount and approaches me. "Good day" I say not quite sure what is going on. The man draws his sword and I gasp in horror. Is this some sort of invader to our land? Come to cut me down in my prime before I even get to play a game for the Royals?
"Only ****ing with you Juggs" says the man sheathing his sword and removing his helmet. "Easty!, you had me going there for a second you bastard". I approach him and give raising me knee to his groin but he blocks the shot. "You don't want to do that" he says revealing revealing his armoured and bejeweled codpiece. "Well that's quite the accessory you have there" I laugh. He laughs back and asks me "What are you doing out here, and where is your hat?". "I'm trying to find my way to the Golden Throne and the hat... well I think I had it last night when we were sitting around the bonfire but my memory is hazy and I really don't know". "Ok I shall help you look for it, Marlowe will not be impressed if you turn up without it". He reaches into a pouch on his belt producing a golden whistle. He gives it 3 sharp blows and another Pegasus descends from the skies already equipped with riding gear.
"I assume you know how to ride?" enquires Easty. "Ummm" "Don't worry Juggs you'll learn quickly". He jumps on his pegasus and I jump on mine. "Ok how do I make it go?" "Just give it a nudge on the reins, like riding a horse". I pull slightly on the reigns and the pegasus launches into a quick gallop before taking off into the air. Easty is quickly along side and we're heading towards Gold City proper. The view is amazing but I'm a bit queazy looking down. I can see the fields, the houses, the castles. There is lakes, rivers and forests and off a long way in the distance snow capped peaks. "That must be where Mt Buller is" I think to myself remembering the club I once captained. I quickly snap out of my sightseeing as Easty is trying to get my attention "HEY JUGGS!!!". "YEAH?" I shout back with the wind in my face. "FOLLOW ME" he says. "I'LL TRY". We swoop down over a large shimmering lake, the water is so clear and the colour a deep blue. For a brief second I think I see a mermaid. Perhaps I'm dreaming but who knows. Easty lands on a rocky beach at the edge of the lake. So now I have to land this thing. I pull back on the reins and I close my eyes. I feel a slight thud as the feet of my ride hit the ground before it trots to a halt. "You can open your eyes now Juggs" says Easty laughing at me. I jump down slightly embarrassed but exhilarated by the flight.
There is a forest just over beyond the rocky beach and on the other side of the lake I can see the tower tops of giant majestic castles. "This here be the Old Dark Forest, it is where you will find The Old Dark Navy's. He is wise old bugger and he can help you find you hat. Once you have found it meet the boss at the Golden Throne." He points out across the lake in the direction of the castles. "You see the highest tower, that one is the Golden Throne. Marlowe will be up there waiting for you." With that he mounts his pegasus and both of them fly away into the distance. Here I am alone again not quite sure where to go so start to wander into the forest. The first thing I see is a small wooden sign nailed to a tree "Private property, trespassers will be drawn and quartered". "Well surely I'm not a trespasser?" I see some golden cobble stones making a path through the trees. "Well I guess everywhere is paved with gold". "Who are you talking to?" a man asks from behind a tree. I look around to see where the voice is coming from. Suddenly I am crash tackled into the ground, I try to fight my attacker off but he has me pinned. He's extremely strong to keep me down, I would give hive a smack in the teeth but he has this grill protecting his face. "I mean you no harm, I'm just looking for ODN" I say wearily. "Ah you must be Juggs" the guys says helping me to my feet. "Blacky's the name, I come from a competition in a far away land called the NFL". He offers his hand for a shake and I oblige seeing he is wearing a strange orange garment with the number 18 on it. "I was told you would be coming this way and we're to travel to the Golden Throne to meet Marlowe together. "Well I have to visit ODN, have you seen his house?". "You must mean that spooky cottage over there" he says pointing to a place that I hadn't seen before but was now clearly visible.
"I guess this is the place". I go to knock on the door when a small sliding flap opens and the voice of an old man snaps "Who goes there?". "It's Juggs" "and Blacky" my companion pipes up. "What's the password?". "Password?, nobody told me the password". "Do you know the password Blacky?" I ask slightly panicked. He thinks for a minute and then he says "stand back" puts his helmet back on and starts charging towards the door. ODN opens the door and Blacky goes tumbling inside the old cottage knocking over chairs a table and an old bookshelf. "Well that didn't go quite to plan". ODN and I laugh at his antics. I can now see the old man is wearing a long dark navy blue hooded robe with a simple golden string around the waist. "Come inside, I hope you're thirsty, I've just whipped up a delightful concoction" he gestures towards a bubbling, steaming cauldron. Blacky stands up from the pile of old books and removes his helmet once again revealing his goofy smile.
We sit down at an old wooden table with a candlestick in the middle illuminating the scene. The place is actually not too bad. There are some old paintings hanging on the old stone walls which is some places looked a bit strange as barely any of the walls are straight here. There is a large desk towards the front of the house with a high back chair beside the windows facing inwards. On the desk are various knick-knacks, old magazines and what look to be vials containing some sort of liquids. "Is this some sort of brewery?" I ask ODN as he pours out some drinks for us from the cauldron over the fireplace. "I'm just a humble old recluse that likes to dabble in a bit of alchemy is all". He sits down at the table handing us our drinks in fine golden goblets. I can now see the liquid is purple through the slight haze of fog coming off the top. I take a swig of my drink and it has quite a kick to it but is somehow ice cold going down. Suddenly I'm seeing stars and rainbows but in an instant the feeling passes. "Wowzor, this drink is magic". "Well it might be a little magical" the old man says smiling as he pulls his hood back for the first time obviously proud of his latest creation. "I was told you can help me find my hat". "You've lost your hat already?". "What hat? I didn't get a hat, Blacky protests". "I shall make you one now he says, I just need something to use as a base. That will do" he says pointing to the helmet on the table. Blacky is cautious and holds it close to his chest. "You do realise qootyers don't wear helmets, are you a real man or not?". "How dare you! he says thrusting the helmet at the old man. "Do what you will".
The Old Dark Navy's pulls out a handkerchief from his pocket and places it over the helmet. He then produces a magic wand seemingly out of thin air and begins to recite an short incantation. "Toppalla, hatticca!!!" he then removes the handkerchief revealing a purple velvet top hot a bit like my own but maybe a few inches shorter. I has the same horse pictures the helmet had and it has an orange band around the middle which matches the colour of Blacky's jersey. "NEATO!!!" Blacky exclaims trying on his new hat. "Now Juggs step into my office" he gestures towards the large desk towards the window.
I sit there across from ODN as he opens a large draw in the desk and produces a crystal ball.
"Now lets find your hat shall we". Suddenly images start to appear. There is a man sneaking off the Roys bus I had confronted yesterday. He must have been concealed by the exhaust fumes. "I recognise that guy, it's 3KZ is Football". There are then some images of him enjoying the banquet and festivities. Then I see myself passed out in the field holding my hat. 3KZ approaches me and snatches it placing it on his own head before scurrying off into the night. "That dirty mongrel!!!" I snarl. "Do you know where he is now?". ODN moves his hands around is fleeting patterns and more images appear. What is shown is quite explicit and ODN quickly waves his hand and the crystal ball goes lifeless. "He's in the red light district" ODN says with a wry smile on his face. "I might have visited that corner a town a few times when I first came to Gold City but not these days. You'll have to take the ferry out across the lake, Mickey should be coming soon."
With that Blacky and I wave farewell to ODN and make our way out back towards the lake. When we get there a steamboat is waiting and a giant mouse is waving at us to come aboard. "Hi guys I'm Mickey Mouse just come up the gang plank and we can get going".
The lake is full of all sorts of strange creatures. I keep an eye out for that mermaid I thought I saw earlier but I can't spot her, I must have been imagining things. After a short while the castles of Gold City start to rise up and we approach a wharf. The place is truly magnificent, I stand on the bow of the steamboat in awe just taking in the scenery. Some of the towers have the flag of the team waving in the wind. I start to think about the impending qooty match in just a couple of days, it's so exciting to finally be able to play again after such a long off season.
We start to disembark and I turn to ask Mickey "You wouldn't know where the red light district is would you?" he just blows a raspberry at me and I take that as a no. Blacky and I wander down the wharf and into the city. "Oh I think I know the way from here, I'm not too interested in the red light district business so I'll leave you to it Juggs". We have a parting fist bump and go our separate ways as I continue into a dark corner of the city which seems a little bit seedier than even that part of town I had found the Inn a couple of days prior. Night is starting to fall as streetlamps come on. I keep an eye out for red lights.
3KZ is Football
🏆 🦍 RZSS Curator of Sticks and Stuff.
- Jun 17, 2008
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Hey Juggalo Balla I've still got the hat by the way. I'll bring it to the game on Sunday.
Speaking of Sunday, I was thinking I might slip a few of these into the Roys' drink bottles, but knowing them as I do, I don't think anyone would notice any difference.
Speaking of Sunday, I was thinking I might slip a few of these into the Roys' drink bottles, but knowing them as I do, I don't think anyone would notice any difference.
Papa Juggs
Hall of Famer
- Banned
- #286
Hey Juggalo Balla I've still got the hat by the way. I'll bring it to the game on Sunday.
Speaking of Sunday, I was thinking I might slip a few of these into the Roys' drink bottles, but knowing them as I do, I don't think anyone would notice any difference.
Not if I don't meet up with you before the game. The story is still ongoing, I just need a break from all the typing. I'm sure we'll meet up soon and have our own little adventure together
The birds are chirping and the sun is starting to come up over the hills. I awake from my peaceful slumber in the middle of a field a little hazy from the night before. I sit up and brush the grass off me and start looking around for my hat. "Oh shit, where is it?" "Marlowe will not be happy with me". Then I turn around to be greeted by a 7 foot tall minotaur clearing up some of the mess. He grunts at me. "Have you seen my hat sir?" I ask him. He just grunts again shrugging his shoulders as if to say "I dunno". "Thanks anyway" I reply standing up to have a look around. There are a few passed out villagers in the fields with some more cleaning things up and packing away furniture onto ox carts but I don't see my hat anywhere. I see the road isn't far away so I make my way to it. Doesn't seem to be too much traffic this morning but there are some fresh unicorn poop cookies, as good a breakfast as any. I guess I'll follow the golden brick road in the direction of the castles.
Walking in the hot sun for about 15 minutes suddenly a shadow comes overhead. "Some sort of giant bird?". I hold my hand up to the sun to try to get a better look but it's blurry. Then it is coming right for me. I'm not sure what it is, I panic and start running the other direction. It lands behind me so I turn around to have a look. There is a man on the back of a Pegasus, he is wearing a shining suit of golden armour. He steps down off his mount and approaches me. "Good day" I say not quite sure what is going on. The man draws his sword and I gasp in horror. Is this some sort of invader to our land? Come to cut me down in my prime before I even get to play a game for the Royals?
"Only ******* with you Juggs" says the man sheathing his sword and removing his helmet. "Easty!, you had me going there for a second you bastard". I approach him and give raising me knee to his groin but he blocks the shot. "You don't want to do that" he says revealing revealing his armoured and bejeweled codpiece. "Well that's quite the accessory you have there" I laugh. He laughs back and asks me "What are you doing out here, and where is your hat?". "I'm trying to find my way to the Golden Throne and the hat... well I think I had it last night when we were sitting around the bonfire but my memory is hazy and I really don't know". "Ok I shall help you look for it, Marlowe will not be impressed if you turn up without it". He reaches into a pouch on his belt producing a golden whistle. He gives it 3 sharp blows and another Pegasus descends from the skies already equipped with riding gear.
"I assume you know how to ride?" enquires Easty. "Ummm" "Don't worry Juggs you'll learn quickly". He jumps on his pegasus and I jump on mine. "Ok how do I make it go?" "Just give it a nudge on the reins, like riding a horse". I pull slightly on the reigns and the pegasus launches into a quick gallop before taking off into the air. Easty is quickly along side and we're heading towards Gold City proper. The view is amazing but I'm a bit queazy looking down. I can see the fields, the houses, the castles. There is lakes, rivers and forests and off a long way in the distance snow capped peaks. "That must be where Mt Buller is" I think to myself remembering the club I once captained. I quickly snap out of my sightseeing as Easty is trying to get my attention "HEY JUGGS!!!". "YEAH?" I shout back with the wind in my face. "FOLLOW ME" he says. "I'LL TRY". We swoop down over a large shimmering lake, the water is so clear and the colour a deep blue. For a brief second I think I see a mermaid. Perhaps I'm dreaming but who knows. Easty lands on a rocky beach at the edge of the lake. So now I have to land this thing. I pull back on the reins and I close my eyes. I feel a slight thud as the feet of my ride hit the ground before it trots to a halt. "You can open your eyes now Juggs" says Easty laughing at me. I jump down slightly embarrassed but exhilarated by the flight.
There is a forest just over beyond the rocky beach and on the other side of the lake I can see the tower tops of giant majestic castles. "This here be the Old Dark Forest, it is where you will find The Old Dark Navy's. He is wise old bugger and he can help you find you hat. Once you have found it meet the boss at the Golden Throne." He points out across the lake in the direction of the castles. "You see the highest tower, that one is the Golden Throne. Marlowe will be up there waiting for you." With that he mounts his pegasus and both of them fly away into the distance. Here I am alone again not quite sure where to go so start to wander into the forest. The first thing I see is a small wooden sign nailed to a tree "Private property, trespassers will be drawn and quartered". "Well surely I'm not a trespasser?" I see some golden cobble stones making a path through the trees. "Well I guess everywhere is paved with gold". "Who are you talking to?" a man asks from behind a tree. I look around to see where the voice is coming from. Suddenly I am crash tackled into the ground, I try to fight my attacker off but he has me pinned. He's extremely strong to keep me down, I would give hive a smack in the teeth but he has this grill protecting his face. "I mean you no harm, I'm just looking for ODN" I say wearily. "Ah you must be Juggs" the guys says helping me to my feet. "Blacky's the name, I come from a competition in a far away land called the NFL". He offers his hand for a shake and I oblige seeing he is wearing a strange orange garment with the number 18 on it. "I was told you would be coming this way and we're to travel to the Golden Throne to meet Marlowe together. "Well I have to visit ODN, have you seen his house?". "You must mean that spooky cottage over there" he says pointing to a place that I hadn't seen before but was now clearly visible.
"I guess this is the place". I go to knock on the door when a small sliding flap opens and the voice of an old man snaps "Who goes there?". "It's Juggs" "and Blacky" my companion pipes up. "What's the password?". "Password?, nobody told me the password". "Do you know the password Blacky?" I ask slightly panicked. He thinks for a minute and then he says "stand back" puts his helmet back on and starts charging towards the door. ODN opens the door and Blacky goes tumbling inside the old cottage knocking over chairs a table and an old bookshelf. "Well that didn't go quite to plan". ODN and I laugh at his antics. I can now see the old man is wearing a long dark navy blue hooded robe with a simple golden string around the waist. "Come inside, I hope you're thirsty, I've just whipped up a delightful concoction" he gestures towards a bubbling, steaming cauldron. Blacky stands up from the pile of old books and removes his helmet once again revealing his goofy smile.
We sit down at an old wooden table with a candlestick in the middle illuminating the scene. The place is actually not too bad. There are some old paintings hanging on the old stone walls which is some places looked a bit strange as barely any of the walls are straight here. There is a large desk towards the front of the house with a high back chair beside the windows facing inwards. On the desk are various knick-knacks, old magazines and what look to be vials containing some sort of liquids. "Is this some sort of brewery?" I ask ODN as he pours out some drinks for us from the cauldron over the fireplace. "I'm just a humble old recluse that likes to dabble in a bit of alchemy is all". He sits down at the table handing us our drinks in fine golden goblets. I can now see the liquid is purple through the slight haze of fog coming off the top. I take a swig of my drink and it has quite a kick to it but is somehow ice cold going down. Suddenly I'm seeing stars and rainbows but in an instant the feeling passes. "Wowzor, this drink is magic". "Well it might be a little magical" the old man says smiling as he pulls his hood back for the first time obviously proud of his latest creation. "I was told you can help me find my hat". "You've lost your hat already?". "What hat? I didn't get a hat, Blacky protests". "I shall make you one now he says, I just need something to use as a base. That will do" he says pointing to the helmet on the table. Blacky is cautious and holds it close to his chest. "You do realise qootyers don't wear helmets, are you a real man or not?". "How dare you! he says thrusting the helmet at the old man. "Do what you will".
The Old Dark Navy's pulls out a handkerchief from his pocket and places it over the helmet. He then produces a magic wand seemingly out of thin air and begins to recite an short incantation. "Toppalla, hatticca!!!" he then removes the handkerchief revealing a purple velvet top hot a bit like my own but maybe a few inches shorter. I has the same horse pictures the helmet had and it has an orange band around the middle which matches the colour of Blacky's jersey. "NEATO!!!" Blacky exclaims trying on his new hat. "Now Juggs step into my office" he gestures towards the large desk towards the window.
I sit there across from ODN as he opens a large draw in the desk and produces a crystal ball.
"Now lets find your hat shall we". Suddenly images start to appear. There is a man sneaking off the Roys bus I had confronted yesterday. He must have been concealed by the exhaust fumes. "I recognise that guy, it's 3KZ is Football". There are then some images of him enjoying the banquet and festivities. Then I see myself passed out in the field holding my hat. 3KZ approaches me and snatches it placing it on his own head before scurrying off into the night. "That dirty mongrel!!!" I snarl. "Do you know where he is now?". ODN moves his hands around is fleeting patterns and more images appear. What is shown is quite explicit and ODN quickly waves his hand and the crystal ball goes lifeless. "He's in the red light district" ODN says with a wry smile on his face. "I might have visited that corner a town a few times when I first came to Gold City but not these days. You'll have to take the ferry out across the lake, Mickey should be coming soon."
With that Blacky and I wave farewell to ODN and make our way out back towards the lake. When we get there a steamboat is waiting and a giant mouse is waving at us to come aboard. "Hi guys I'm Mickey Mouse just come up the gang plank and we can get going".
The lake is full of all sorts of strange creatures. I keep an eye out for that mermaid I thought I saw earlier but I can't spot her, I must have been imagining things. After a short while the castles of Gold City start to rise up and we approach a wharf. The place is truly magnificent, I stand on the bow of the steamboat in awe just taking in the scenery. Some of the towers have the flag of the team waving in the wind. I start to think about the impending qooty match in just a couple of days, it's so exciting to finally be able to play again after such a long off season.
We start to disembark and I turn to ask Mickey "You wouldn't know where the red light district is would you?" he just blows a raspberry at me and I take that as a no. Blacky and I wander down the wharf and into the city. "Oh I think I know the way from here, I'm not too interested in the red light district business so I'll leave you to it Juggs". We have a parting fist bump and go our separate ways as I continue into a dark corner of the city which seems a little bit seedier than even that part of town I had found the Inn a couple of days prior. Night is starting to fall as streetlamps come on. I keep an eye out for red lights.
WTF is this? If I wanted to read a book I'd go to the library.
Blacky
The King
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Beautiful, Juggs.
Is there a roof on our stadium? because we are going to raise it.
Is there a roof on our stadium? because we are going to raise it.
3KZ is Football
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3KZ is Football
🏆 🦍 RZSS Curator of Sticks and Stuff.
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Freakie
Cool cool cool
10k Posts
Pantskyle
Brisbane Lions - Tom Rockliff 2012 Player Sponsor
Brisbane Lions - Tom Rockliff 2011 Player Sponsor
Brisbane Lions - Todd Banfield 2010 Player Sponsor
They are steins not juggs. You've slipped since you left!
I initially thought this was going to be an inappropriate post.
The Old Dark Navy's
Moderator
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- #292
Juggalo Balla ... that is actually my house.
By the way my crystal balls say we are going to win this one. Watch the bookies reframe the market.
By the way my crystal balls say we are going to win this one. Watch the bookies reframe the market.
Mobbs
A Large Portion, Yes
Broken is shit and can go **** himself.
Mobbs
A Large Portion, Yes
Prolly forgetting Fanning ... and even Fred Hughson kicked 60 odd goals when he started for Fitzroy, before heading to the backline to captain and coach basically everybody in the world.
3KZ is Football
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Mobbs
A Large Portion, Yes
They don't let retired players captain. I'm lucky they let me play.
I notice there are some peaces missing ...Hey Juggalo Balla I've still got the hat by the way. I'll bring it to the game on Sunday.
Speaking of Sunday, I was thinking I might slip a few of these into the Roys' drink bottles, but knowing them as I do, I don't think anyone would notice any difference.
3KZ is Football
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Great post! You've still got it!
Papa Juggs
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It doesn't take me long to find the place. Not very conspicuous at all with a red light and the sign "Ye olde brothel" out the front. I open the front door and I'm suddenly confronted by the scent of perfume, it's very lavish inside. Many areas are partitioned off by colourful fabric curtains and the light is quite dim. Every now and then you see a silhouette of something or other that seems quite erotic but I guess that's what you can expect in a place such as this. I'm immediately accosted by a few of the ladies. They're well dressed if not dressed very much. Golden necklaces and bracelets with sparkling jewels hanging from their ears. "It's Juggs" one of the ladies says recognising me and giving me a kiss on the cheek. The other ladies do the same one says "Choose me my handsome Juggalo", another says "You'd make a strong and wise administrator". This gets my attention immediately and I wave the other girls away. "Oh so you know about the politics of the SFA?". "I'm not just a pretty face you know", "ah um", I'm taken aback by assuming this girl must not have a brain because of her chosen profession. "Come with me she says" taking my hand. Suddenly I remember what I'm actually doing here and I say "I'm looking for 3KZ is Football, he has my hat". "All in good time" .
We're now walking together up a staircase to the upper rooms where things get even more lavish. We pass through a curtain into a private room. There is food and drink on a small table and a large 4 poster bed made with white silk sheets with no less than 10 fluffy pillows. There are a few candles littered around the room providing a flickering glow. The girl pours us both a glass of wine, hands me one and then toasts me. "To gold city becoming a force to be reckoned with". It is smooth and refreshing, almost too good to be in a place like this. I sit down on the side of the bed and I ask "You know my name, so what's yours?". "I'm not actually one of the working girls here, I heard that you would be here so I've come to intercept you to see what you're like". I'm one of the princesses I'm sure you've heard about. "A princess? oh my. I didn't think I'd be meeting one of you so soon." "You know I'm not actually here for the services" I say half truthfully embarrassed. "Oh you're cute, so have you heard Marlowe has made you FF for the first game of the season on Sunday". "Awesome!!". "Be sure to kick plenty of goals, the people here in Gold City have high hopes for you after our last FF didn't really work out so well. Just having an Alfie doesn't make you elite any more". "I'm not just a pretty face either you know" I quip back at her. "Come on sit down I don't bite". She sits down on the bed next to me and I look into her eyes. "So are you going to tell me which princess you are or should I just guess?" "You'll find out soon enough". "I don't mind a little mystery in my romance".
It is just then I hear some commotion coming from downstairs. "Excuse me for a moment my dear" I say to the princess heading down the staircase to see what is going on. There is 3KZ is Football pleading for credit from the madam. "Sorry sir if you're out of money we can't help you". "There you are!" I say grabbing him leading him out the door. "Lets step outside for a moment". "Now where is my hat?". "It had it just a minute ago, I was going to give it back I swear". "GO ON" I snarl at him grabbing his collar. "A girl snatched it off me, she said it didn't belong to me and she would return it to the rightful owner". "What girl?" "The one I saw you heading upstairs with, did you give her a good seeing to?". "No I didn't for your information". He starts to sob "That hat was so lavish, I wanted it for myself. Please can you tell me how to get one?". "You know exactly how, denounce the Roys and join Gold City". It was so simple but could he abandon the Roys? I let him go and he slumps down against the wall. I go back inside to find the girl that supposedly has my hat. There is my hat on the bed but no girl, I'm elated to find my hat but disappointed the princess has run off. There is a note inside my hat "we shall meet again young prince, kick me a bag on game day".
I head back outside to find 3KZ is Football still down there alone with his thoughts. "On your feet mate" I say putting my hand out to help him up. "Do you want to come to the Golden Throne with me?". "****in Oath" he replies his eyes lighting up. We head off in the direction of the highest towers in town.
We're now walking together up a staircase to the upper rooms where things get even more lavish. We pass through a curtain into a private room. There is food and drink on a small table and a large 4 poster bed made with white silk sheets with no less than 10 fluffy pillows. There are a few candles littered around the room providing a flickering glow. The girl pours us both a glass of wine, hands me one and then toasts me. "To gold city becoming a force to be reckoned with". It is smooth and refreshing, almost too good to be in a place like this. I sit down on the side of the bed and I ask "You know my name, so what's yours?". "I'm not actually one of the working girls here, I heard that you would be here so I've come to intercept you to see what you're like". I'm one of the princesses I'm sure you've heard about. "A princess? oh my. I didn't think I'd be meeting one of you so soon." "You know I'm not actually here for the services" I say half truthfully embarrassed. "Oh you're cute, so have you heard Marlowe has made you FF for the first game of the season on Sunday". "Awesome!!". "Be sure to kick plenty of goals, the people here in Gold City have high hopes for you after our last FF didn't really work out so well. Just having an Alfie doesn't make you elite any more". "I'm not just a pretty face either you know" I quip back at her. "Come on sit down I don't bite". She sits down on the bed next to me and I look into her eyes. "So are you going to tell me which princess you are or should I just guess?" "You'll find out soon enough". "I don't mind a little mystery in my romance".
It is just then I hear some commotion coming from downstairs. "Excuse me for a moment my dear" I say to the princess heading down the staircase to see what is going on. There is 3KZ is Football pleading for credit from the madam. "Sorry sir if you're out of money we can't help you". "There you are!" I say grabbing him leading him out the door. "Lets step outside for a moment". "Now where is my hat?". "It had it just a minute ago, I was going to give it back I swear". "GO ON" I snarl at him grabbing his collar. "A girl snatched it off me, she said it didn't belong to me and she would return it to the rightful owner". "What girl?" "The one I saw you heading upstairs with, did you give her a good seeing to?". "No I didn't for your information". He starts to sob "That hat was so lavish, I wanted it for myself. Please can you tell me how to get one?". "You know exactly how, denounce the Roys and join Gold City". It was so simple but could he abandon the Roys? I let him go and he slumps down against the wall. I go back inside to find the girl that supposedly has my hat. There is my hat on the bed but no girl, I'm elated to find my hat but disappointed the princess has run off. There is a note inside my hat "we shall meet again young prince, kick me a bag on game day".
I head back outside to find 3KZ is Football still down there alone with his thoughts. "On your feet mate" I say putting my hand out to help him up. "Do you want to come to the Golden Throne with me?". "****in Oath" he replies his eyes lighting up. We head off in the direction of the highest towers in town.
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That should be served blue, although I will tolerate rare if someone else is paying.
Who needs okey's self-centred tl;dr posts when we have Juggs who writes awesome tl;dr stories?
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