Official Match Thread Season 38, Second Qualifying Final: Coney Island Warriors v East Side Hawks at Van Cortlandt Park

[philreich]

I just remembered - I hate Sixty Minutes:

4 : 23.21 {rHFF} - por_please_ya says 'Goals are fun and I'm having one'.
Coney Island Warriors : 13.5.83
East Side Hawks : 14.5.89

 

[Callums_Guns]

I might watch Sixty Minutes, and then come back and post the rest.

Please do let’s wait for por_please_ya

 

[Tarkyn_24]

In b4 smothered off the boot, walked down the field for Filth to kick twelve consecutive goals in the last 70 seconds

 

[Tarkyn_24]

In b4 smothered off the boot, walked down the field for Filth to kick twelve consecutive goals in the last 70 seconds

…is something someone that doesn’t have a clue about how CLUTCH por_please_ya is might say

 

[philreich]

4 : 23.25 {C} - Two-handed smash out of the ruck by spudmaster.
4 : 23.32 {rW} - Tonga Bob does some crumbing and is away.
4 : 23.39 {rW} - spudmaster on the end of this.
4 : 23.41 {lHFF} - His kick covers more height than distance.
4 : 23.45 {lHFF} - Zoops gets a timely fist to the ball.
4 : 23.49 {lHFF} - toxic breaks a tackle and is off.
4 : 23.53 {lHFF} - toxic sells the dummy and helps himself to a bounce.
4 : 23.57 {CHF} - He elects to use Dinsdale and kicks in that direction.
4 : 24.01 {CHF} - The ball spills free.
4 : 24.06 {CHB} - haydo is now off and running.
4 : 24.1 {CHB} - PhenomenalV1 receives his handpass.
4 : 24.14 {rHBF} - Zoops screaming for the ball - and he is heard.
4 : 24.18 {rHBF} - But he picks out toxic.
4 : 24.22 {rHFF} - Barrybran breaks a tackle and is off.
4 : 24.27 {rFP} - Quick hands to Piggy Smalls under pressure.
4 : 24.31 {rFP} - He has a shot from nowhere.

 

[Riviat]

As discussed philreich, cheque is in the mail

 

[AnUltimateRessie]

please give me a draw

 

[Callums_Guns]

4 : 23.25 {C} - Two-handed smash out of the ruck by spudmaster.
4 : 23.32 {rW} - Tonga Bob does some crumbing and is away.
4 : 23.39 {rW} - spudmaster on the end of this.
4 : 23.41 {lHFF} - His kick covers more height than distance.
4 : 23.45 {lHFF} - Zoops gets a timely fist to the ball.
4 : 23.49 {lHFF} - toxic breaks a tackle and is off.
4 : 23.53 {lHFF} - toxic sells the dummy and helps himself to a bounce.
4 : 23.57 {CHF} - He elects to use Dinsdale and kicks in that direction.
4 : 24.01 {CHF} - The ball spills free.
4 : 24.06 {CHB} - haydo is now off and running.
4 : 24.1 {CHB} - PhenomenalV1 receives his handpass.
4 : 24.14 {rHBF} - Zoops screaming for the ball - and he is heard.
4 : 24.18 {rHBF} - But he picks out toxic.
4 : 24.22 {rHFF} - Barrybran breaks a tackle and is off.
4 : 24.27 {rFP} - Quick hands to Piggy Smalls under pressure.
4 : 24.31 {rFP} - He has a shot from nowhere.

Too late

 

[philreich]

4 : 24.34 {rFP} - Didn't look good off the boot - a minor score.
Coney Island Warriors : 13.6.84
East Side Hawks : 14.5.89

 

[FootyGuy13]

I just remembered - I hate Sixty Minutes:

4 : 23.21 {rHFF} - por_please_ya says 'Goals are fun and I'm having one'.
Coney Island Warriors : 13.5.83
East Side Hawks : 14.5.89

 

[Tarkyn_24]

4 : 23.25 {C} - Two-handed smash out of the ruck by spudmaster.
4 : 23.32 {rW} - Tonga Bob does some crumbing and is away.
4 : 23.39 {rW} - spudmaster on the end of this.
4 : 23.41 {lHFF} - His kick covers more height than distance.
4 : 23.45 {lHFF} - Zoops gets a timely fist to the ball.
4 : 23.49 {lHFF} - toxic breaks a tackle and is off.
4 : 23.53 {lHFF} - toxic sells the dummy and helps himself to a bounce.
4 : 23.57 {CHF} - He elects to use Dinsdale and kicks in that direction.
4 : 24.01 {CHF} - The ball spills free.
4 : 24.06 {CHB} - haydo is now off and running.
4 : 24.1 {CHB} - PhenomenalV1 receives his handpass.
4 : 24.14 {rHBF} - Zoops screaming for the ball - and he is heard.
4 : 24.18 {rHBF} - But he picks out toxic.
4 : 24.22 {rHFF} - Barrybran breaks a tackle and is off.
4 : 24.27 {rFP} - Quick hands to Piggy Smalls under pressure.
4 : 24.31 {rFP} - He has a shot from nowhere.

I have forensically examined this commentary for how the Wazzas cheated and I am happy to report that I am retiring

 

[Tarkyn_24]

4 : 24.34 {rFP} - Didn't look good off the boot - a minor score.
Coney Island Warriors : 13.6.84
East Side Hawks : 14.5.89

Ruh roh

 

[philreich]

4 : 24.43 {FB} - With the ball is Shermy.
4 : 24.47 {FB} - No-look handpass to PhenomenalV1.
4 : 24.51 {FB} - A wild handball - but luckily Tadpole was well placed to clean up.
4 : 24.55 {FB} - Quick hands to PhenomenalV1.
=====================================
SIREN SOUNDS FOR THE END OF QUARTER 4
Coney Island Warriors : 13.6.84
East Side Hawks : 14.5.89
=====================================



Match Over!

 

[Tonga Bob]

I hate everyone and everything.

 

[AnUltimateRessie]

by golly! It's a 7 point play!

 

[Tarkyn_24]

Nice win and all but Filth kicked more goals than me so I demand a resim

 

[Tarkyn_24]

Or a coup

 

[AnUltimateRessie]

Well done Phawks

 

[philreich]

So the Hawks prevail in a thriller while the Warriors get to use their second chance next week.

 

[Tarkyn_24]

A coup with infinite resims

 

[Tadpole]

 

[FootyGuy13]

Coney Island Warriors : 13.5.83
East Side Hawks : 11.5.71

=====================================
SIREN SOUNDS FOR THE END OF QUARTER 4
Coney Island Warriors : 13.6.84
East Side Hawks : 14.5.89
=====================================

 

[philreich]

AFTER-MATCH SUMMARY :

CIW SENIORS Vs ESH SENIORS
CIW               2    0        6    2        10   4        13   6    84       
ESH               4    2        6    2        9    4        14   5    89       
CIW        HO  K  M  H  T  FF FA G  B   Dt  ESH         HO  K  M  H  T  FF FA G  B   Dt
brian_muz   0  3  0  1  1  0  2  0  0    9  Shermy       0  5  2  7  0  0  1  0  0   32
Raveneyes   0  2  3  5  0  0  2  0  0   19  Biggie       0  6  6  6  1  0  1  0  0   49
Reginald P  0  0  1  2  0  0  1  0  0    4  Loonerty     0  2  2  5  0  0  0  0  0   22
zackah      0  8  7  6  1  0  0  0  0   61  Zoops        0  7  6  7  1  1  1  0  0   55
TubbsFarqu  0  5  4  13 1  0  1  0  0   54  haydo        0  8  4  4  1  0  0  0  0   48
Freofalcon  0  9  9  8  1  2  0  0  0   76  eth-dog      0  6  4  4  3  0  1  0  0   47
Tonga Bob   0  18 13 14 1  0  3  0  0  116  RU_          0  6  5  7  0  2  1  1  0   52
pantskyle   0  11 3  7  3  0  1  0  0   65  boncer34     0  17 6  14 0  2  0  0  0   99
FootyGuy13  0  12 7  13 5  1  3  0  1   96  Callums_Gu   0  11 7  15 0  1  1  1  0   88
Barrybran   0  7  4  7  0  0  1  1  0   50  por_please   0  9  1  6  1  0  4  1  2   42
Dinsdale    0  10 9  10 3  0  1  1  0   92  Itsmyshow    0  7  5  5  2  0  1  1  0   57
toxic       0  7  2  2  1  1  0  2  1   49  Giant Stri   0  7  4  3  1  0  0  2  1   56
Piggy Smal  0  3  0  0  0  0  0  1  2   17  The Majest   0  3  0  0  1  2  1  2  1   25
The Filth   0  6  1  0  0  1  0  5  1   53  Tarkyn_24    0  3  1  0  1  1  0  3  0   35
brahj       0  2  0  1  1  0  0  1  1   19  Riviat       0  3  0  0  2  0  0  2  1   30
spudmaster  5  12 0  9  3  0  1  0  0   68  Tadpole      5  5  0  4  0  0  0  0  0   28
Ocha905     0  13 0  7  6  4  1  2  0   90  Phenomenal   0  13 0  11 3  4  0  0  0   77
TheInjuryF  0  5  0  13 6  3  1  0  0   65  TY24         0  3  0  9  7  4  0  0  0   59
Mesc        0  1  3  2  0  1  0  0  0   17  larrikin     9  6  0  8  3  1  1  1  0   59
Paracleet   0  1  1  2  0  0  0  0  0   10  SM           0  5  1  2  0  0  0  0  0   22

            CIW   ESH
Hitouts   : 5    14 
Kicks     : 135  132 
Marks     : 67   54 
Handballs : 122  117 
Tackles   : 33   27 
Frees For : 13   18 
Frees Ag. : 18   13 
Smothers  : 0    0 
Ironouts  : 6    10 
Inside50  : 23   13 
Goals     : 13   14 
Behinds   : 6    5

GOAL BY GOAL :

First Quarter :
1.2 - Rushed behind to ESH - ESH by 1 point(s).
10.15 - Goal to The Filth Wizard (CIW) - CIW by 5 point(s).
15.38 - Goal to larrikin (ESH) - ESH by 1 point(s).
18.01 - Goal to Tarkyn_24 (ESH) - ESH by 7 point(s).
18.36 - Goal to Callums_Guns (ESH) - ESH by 13 point(s).
22 - Goal to The Filth Wizard (CIW) - ESH by 7 point(s).
23.57 - Goal to Tarkyn_24 (ESH) - ESH by 13 point(s).
24.55 - Rushed behind to ESH - ESH by 14 point(s).

Second Quarter :
5.19 - Goal to The Filth Wizard (CIW) - ESH by 8 point(s).
7.28 - Behind to The Filth Wizard (CIW) - ESH by 7 point(s).
7.57 - Goal to toxic (CIW) - ESH by 1 point(s).
11.38 - Goal to The Filth Wizard (CIW) - CIW by 5 point(s).
13.33 - Goal to Giant Strides (ESH) - ESH by 1 point(s).
15.04 - Behind to FootyGuy13 (CIW) - scores level.
17.26 - Goal to Riviat (ESH) - ESH by 6 point(s).
18.3 - Goal to Ocha905 (CIW) - scores level.

Third Quarter :
7.08 - Goal to The Filth Wizard (CIW) - CIW by 6 point(s).
8.45 - Behind to Piggy Smalls (CIW) - CIW by 7 point(s).
9.13 - Goal to brahj (CIW) - CIW by 13 point(s).
10.46 - Goal to The Majestic (ESH) - CIW by 7 point(s).
11.46 - Behind to por_please_ya (ESH) - CIW by 6 point(s).
12.13 - Goal to Tarkyn_24 (ESH) - scores level.
15.24 - Behind to por_please_ya (ESH) - ESH by 1 point(s).
17 - Goal to toxic (CIW) - CIW by 5 point(s).
19.42 - Goal to Barrybran (CIW) - CIW by 11 point(s).
20.31 - Behind to toxic (CIW) - CIW by 12 point(s).
22.25 - Goal to Itsmyshow (ESH) - CIW by 6 point(s).

Final Quarter :
6.08 - Behind to Riviat (ESH) - CIW by 5 point(s).
8.01 - Goal to Ocha905 (CIW) - CIW by 11 point(s).
9.26 - Behind to brahj (CIW) - CIW by 12 point(s).
10.19 - Goal to RU_ (ESH) - CIW by 6 point(s).
14.22 - Goal to Piggy Smalls (CIW) - CIW by 12 point(s).
15.51 - Goal to The Majestic (ESH) - CIW by 6 point(s).
16.28 - Goal to Dinsdale (CIW) - CIW by 12 point(s).
17.24 - Goal to Riviat (ESH) - CIW by 6 point(s).
19.22 - Goal to Giant Strides (ESH) - scores level.
23.25 - Goal to por_please_ya (ESH) - ESH by 6 point(s).
24.38 - Behind to Piggy Smalls (CIW) - ESH by 5 point(s).

TIME ON GROUND :

CIW
toxic                0 (On) 11.4 (Off) 22.29 (On) Total : 89%
Raveneyes            0 (On) Total : 100%
Mesc                 0 (On) 63.54 (Off) Total : 63%
zackah               0 (On) Total : 100%
TubbsFarquhar        0 (On) Total : 100%
Freofalcon           0 (On) Total : 100%
Tonga Bob            0 (On) Total : 100%
pantskyle            0 (On) Total : 100%
FootyGuy13           0 (On) Total : 100%
Barrybran            0 (On) Total : 100%
Dinsdale             0 (On) Total : 100%
brian_muz            0 (On) 22.29 (Off) 31.08 (On) 33.53 (Off) 63.21 (On) Total : 61%
Piggy Smalls         0 (On) Total : 100%
The Filth Wizard     0 (On) Total : 100%
brahj                0 (On) Total : 100%
spudmaster           0 (On) Total : 100%
Ocha905              0 (On) Total : 100%
TheInjuryFactory     0 (On) Total : 100%
Reginald Perrin      0 (Off) 11.4 (On) 31.08 (Off) 63.54 (On) Total : 55%
Paracleet            0 (Off) 33.53 (On) 63.21 (Off) Total : 29%

ESH
RU_                  0 (On) 18.13 (Off) 55.1 (On) Total : 63%
Biggie               0 (On) Total : 100%
Tadpole              0 (On) 5.52 (Off) 18.13 (On) 55.23 (Off) 57.2 (On) Total : 85%
Zoops                0 (On) Total : 100%
eth-dog              0 (On) 52.44 (Off) 67.36 (On) Total : 85%
SM                   0 (On) 67.36 (Off) Total : 67%
Loonerty             0 (On) 15.1 (Off) 50.26 (On) Total : 65%
boncer34             0 (On) Total : 100%
Callums_Guns         0 (On) Total : 100%
por_please_ya        0 (On) Total : 100%
Itsmyshow            0 (On) Total : 100%
Giant Strides        0 (On) Total : 100%
The Majestic         0 (On) Total : 100%
Tarkyn_24            0 (On) Total : 100%
Riviat               0 (On) Total : 100%
larrikin             0 (On) 57.2 (Off) Total : 57%
PhenomenalV1         0 (On) Total : 100%
TY24                 0 (On) Total : 100%
haydo                0 (Off) 5.52 (On) 50.26 (Off) 52.44 (On) Total : 91%
Shermy               0 (Off) 15.1 (On) 55.1 (Off) 55.23 (On) Total : 83%

Total :  3600               Average :  90

MATCH-UPS :

• In a comparatively small-fry arm wrestle, eth-dog either broke even with Barrybran or vaguely bested him - it was hard to tell. - 30m from 69 to 99.
• While both players struggled to make an impact, Barrybran came out tops over the brave SM. - 54m from 4 to 58.
• In a resume-material performance, The Filth Wizard was easily the winner in the clash with Biggie. - 92m from 7 to 99.
• While not all all one-way, boncer34 did very well against pantskyle. - 94m from 3 to 97.
• While not all all one-way, Tonga Bob came out tops over the brave Callums_Guns. - 96m from 2 to 98.
• While the match-up was a bit of a side-show, it could be argued that Dinsdale had the better game against eth-dog - although there was very little in it. - 44m from 4 to 48.
• While the match-up was a bit of a side-show, haydo and Dinsdale were well-matched - there was no victor. - 46m from 53 to 99.
• While very slim pickings for both players, FootyGuy13 had the better of Loonerty. - 15m from 0 to 15.
• In an enthralling contest, RU_ had the better of FootyGuy13. - 36m from 61 to 97.
• In a solid performance, FootyGuy13 won the bout with Shermy. - 39m from 15 to 54.
• Bordering on a training run, por_please_ya's bum will be a bit sore after having it solidly kicked by Freofalcon. - 98m from 0 to 98.
• In an epic battle, zackah did very well against Giant Strides. - 92m from 2 to 94.
• While not all all one-way, TubbsFarquhar had the better of Itsmyshow. - 97m from 0 to 97.
• In a resume-material performance, larrikin exposed spudmaster's frailties. - 75m from 0 to 75.
• While very slim pickings for both players, Piggy Smalls did very well against Loonerty. - 46m from 53 to 99.
• In a comparatively small-fry arm wrestle, Mesc and The Majestic were evenly matched. - 62m from 1 to 63.
• In an epic battle, Ocha905 did well against PhenomenalV1. - 100m from 0 to 100.
• In an epic battle, Paracleet and Riviat had an epic contest. - 18m from 42 to 60.
• While overall a quiet day for both players, haydo massacred Piggy Smalls. - 25m from 9 to 34.
• While the match-up was a bit of a side-show, Tarkyn_24 either broke even with Raveneyes or vaguely bested him - it was hard to tell. - 81m from 1 to 82.
• While very slim pickings for both players, The Majestic came out tops over the brave Reginald Perrin. - 25m from 65 to 90.
• While overall a quiet day for both players, brian_muz's bum will be a bit sore after having it solidly kicked by Riviat. - 18m from 74 to 92.
• Neither having much reason to brag, brahj was slightly more polished than RU_. - 4m from 9 to 13.
• While overall a quiet day for both players, I'm not sure that what brahj did to Shermy should be entirely legal. - 43m from 56 to 99.
• Neither having much reason to brag, Tadpole did very well against brahj. - 1m from 35 to 36.
• Toe to toe throughout, Tadpole and spudmaster were well-matched - there was no victor. - 43m from 57 to 100.
• In an epic battle, TY24 did well against TheInjuryFactory. - 96m from 0 to 96.
• While very slim pickings for both players, Zoops had the better of brian_muz. - 10m from 4 to 14.
• While the match-up was a bit of a side-show, toxic did well against Zoops. - 67m from 32 to 99.

 

[spudmaster]

Please accept an updated version of The Path To Triumph, courtesy of the future.

View attachment 2175437

 

[Dinsdale]

4 : 24.43 {FB} - With the ball is Shermy.
4 : 24.47 {FB} - No-look handpass to PhenomenalV1.
4 : 24.51 {FB} - A wild handball - but luckily Tadpole was well placed to clean up.
4 : 24.55 {FB} - Quick hands to PhenomenalV1.
=====================================
SIREN SOUNDS FOR THE END OF QUARTER 4
Coney Island Warriors : 13.6.84
East Side Hawks : 14.5.89
=====================================



Match Over!