clogwearer
Idiot Savant
I've been reading bigfooty a lot lately because the further away from Australia I am, the more I miss my footy. I've learned a lot from the people who post here, and this is what I've come to realise as season 2008 draws closer. The following teams cannot win the premiership this year.
Adelaide – a team on the slide. Getting older, their premiership window has slammed shut on Neil Craig's fingers and they will need to rebuild before they are a threat again. Lucky to finish 8th in 2007 and won't win the flag before 2011.
Brisbane – no defence. Don't believe the stats that showed only four other teams conceded less points in 2007. If its posted on bigfooty it must be true, and with that in mind, its hard to see a team with no backline, an overrated/aging midfield and only one forward winning the flag in 08. Will be a threat in 2011.
Carlton – Have picked up Judd and are looking forward to the return of Stevens, but with only those two plus Kruezer and Fev in the team, they'll struggle to beat sides that field 22 men every week, even with Setanta a'helpin' out (hey, it could have been worse...could have been a Setanta's Little Helper joke). Just miss the finals, will tank 2009 and 2010 in order to be cherry ripe for a crack in 2011.
Collingwood – form young team of 2007 and only missed the Grand Final by 5 points and/or a couple of minutes, depending on who you listen to. By Collingwood standards however, this is an underachievement. Grand Finals are there to be lost but you can't lose them if you're not in them. Look for them to improve and go that one step further in 2008. Genuine premiership threat by 2011.
Essendon – lost the only half decent player they ever had when Hird retired at the end of last season. Have only four pensioner-aged stars left, no players aged 24-28 and no young talent. It's going to be a tough next 150 years for the Bombers with their current list. Won't recover before 2011.
Fremantle – bookies have them second favourites for the flag this year and that's a sure indication that they'll play true to form and miss the finals again. With a spine consisting of Pavlich, they'll have to run it down the flanks more often than not to give him time to catch up to himself and other sides will work this gameplan out and shut them down. Might be a chance for the flag in 2011.
Geelong – Premiership hangover year. First of 40 odd hangover years, until they finally win it again in 2051. Get your money on Gary Ablett IV for the norm smith that year though. Could bounce back with a one-out-of-the-box year in 2011.
Hawthorn – Got buddy close this year, and they'll get buddy close again next year. It'll be buddy frustrating for their supporters though, to have so much talent and just not be able to get the buddy job done. 2011 could be the Hawks' year.
Kangaroos – The figures don't lie. Lost 2 of three finals by a combined total of over a thousand points and just don't have the talent on the park to compete with the big boys. Losing Archer will leave a shinboner shaped hole in their defence that'll prove hard to fill, even after shoehorning Petrie into the backline. Pressure of playing 4 home games in Oslo will also take its toll as the season goes on. Will struggle to remain in the competition by 2011
Melbourne – Neitz to suffer a serious Advanced Hair injury will hurt their forward line, Robertson to lose two fingers to frostbite after a mid-winter screamer attempt and Brad Green to finally get that Man U contract, seriously testing the depth of their list this year. Rebuilding for 2011.
Port Adelaide – Lost the big one by 100+ points last year. Nowhere near it, especially if a strong wind blows the Hoff away. If they strap him to Tredrea they might have a chance of both players being effective but it still won't be enough to get them to the big one. Will play finals, genuine premiership chance by 2011.
Richmond – Terry Wallace said it first. 2011. 9th in 2008 and solarium share prices to drop.
St Kilda – despite some amazing trading/drafting that will see the G-Train return and a gardener from Perth filling the ruck role vacated by Grant Thomas, the Aints will live up to their reputation and suffer a string of serious injuries that will leave supporters of other clubs wondering why the St Kilda fitness program is still being run by Mr. Bean. Look for Koschitzke to be hit by a falling meteorite in Rd 4 and return for season 2011.
Sydney – The blu-tack that was stuffed into Adam Goodes' knee joints three years ago will finally harden and backfire on the club, and Barry Hall's back will finally give out under the continual weight of 5-6 defenders hanging off it. Their list is so old that Bud Tingwell still gets along to see some of his schoolmates play for the Swans, and their premiership window has rusted shut. May be able to prise it open again by 2011.
West Coast – one of the few teams left in the league with substance, although rumour will continue to suggest that the substance is in fact illegal. Clearing out Judd and Cousins will hurt, as Big Cox will be left with nobody to palm his balls to after the Perth taxi drivers' association refuses to transport Kerr to the ground on match day. 2011 will be their year.
Western Bulldogs – Can't win a premiership until they draft or trade somebody over 5 foot 8 into the team. The Japanese men's basketball team is taller than the Bulldogs, although the non-contact nature of their sport will contrive to make them less than ideal pre-season training partners. Loss of Chris 'Roger Ramjet' Grant will hurt morale, and the retirement of Luke Darcy will see the Bulldogs' average player height drop to just above that of the Lithuanian Dwarf Tossing team. Solid drafting should see some height return to the team by 2011.
For what it's worth, I don't think Fitzroy or University will be much show either. It'll be a lean 2008 for footy fans. And that's what I learned from bigfooty.
Adelaide – a team on the slide. Getting older, their premiership window has slammed shut on Neil Craig's fingers and they will need to rebuild before they are a threat again. Lucky to finish 8th in 2007 and won't win the flag before 2011.
Brisbane – no defence. Don't believe the stats that showed only four other teams conceded less points in 2007. If its posted on bigfooty it must be true, and with that in mind, its hard to see a team with no backline, an overrated/aging midfield and only one forward winning the flag in 08. Will be a threat in 2011.
Carlton – Have picked up Judd and are looking forward to the return of Stevens, but with only those two plus Kruezer and Fev in the team, they'll struggle to beat sides that field 22 men every week, even with Setanta a'helpin' out (hey, it could have been worse...could have been a Setanta's Little Helper joke). Just miss the finals, will tank 2009 and 2010 in order to be cherry ripe for a crack in 2011.
Collingwood – form young team of 2007 and only missed the Grand Final by 5 points and/or a couple of minutes, depending on who you listen to. By Collingwood standards however, this is an underachievement. Grand Finals are there to be lost but you can't lose them if you're not in them. Look for them to improve and go that one step further in 2008. Genuine premiership threat by 2011.
Essendon – lost the only half decent player they ever had when Hird retired at the end of last season. Have only four pensioner-aged stars left, no players aged 24-28 and no young talent. It's going to be a tough next 150 years for the Bombers with their current list. Won't recover before 2011.
Fremantle – bookies have them second favourites for the flag this year and that's a sure indication that they'll play true to form and miss the finals again. With a spine consisting of Pavlich, they'll have to run it down the flanks more often than not to give him time to catch up to himself and other sides will work this gameplan out and shut them down. Might be a chance for the flag in 2011.
Geelong – Premiership hangover year. First of 40 odd hangover years, until they finally win it again in 2051. Get your money on Gary Ablett IV for the norm smith that year though. Could bounce back with a one-out-of-the-box year in 2011.
Hawthorn – Got buddy close this year, and they'll get buddy close again next year. It'll be buddy frustrating for their supporters though, to have so much talent and just not be able to get the buddy job done. 2011 could be the Hawks' year.
Kangaroos – The figures don't lie. Lost 2 of three finals by a combined total of over a thousand points and just don't have the talent on the park to compete with the big boys. Losing Archer will leave a shinboner shaped hole in their defence that'll prove hard to fill, even after shoehorning Petrie into the backline. Pressure of playing 4 home games in Oslo will also take its toll as the season goes on. Will struggle to remain in the competition by 2011
Melbourne – Neitz to suffer a serious Advanced Hair injury will hurt their forward line, Robertson to lose two fingers to frostbite after a mid-winter screamer attempt and Brad Green to finally get that Man U contract, seriously testing the depth of their list this year. Rebuilding for 2011.
Port Adelaide – Lost the big one by 100+ points last year. Nowhere near it, especially if a strong wind blows the Hoff away. If they strap him to Tredrea they might have a chance of both players being effective but it still won't be enough to get them to the big one. Will play finals, genuine premiership chance by 2011.
Richmond – Terry Wallace said it first. 2011. 9th in 2008 and solarium share prices to drop.
St Kilda – despite some amazing trading/drafting that will see the G-Train return and a gardener from Perth filling the ruck role vacated by Grant Thomas, the Aints will live up to their reputation and suffer a string of serious injuries that will leave supporters of other clubs wondering why the St Kilda fitness program is still being run by Mr. Bean. Look for Koschitzke to be hit by a falling meteorite in Rd 4 and return for season 2011.
Sydney – The blu-tack that was stuffed into Adam Goodes' knee joints three years ago will finally harden and backfire on the club, and Barry Hall's back will finally give out under the continual weight of 5-6 defenders hanging off it. Their list is so old that Bud Tingwell still gets along to see some of his schoolmates play for the Swans, and their premiership window has rusted shut. May be able to prise it open again by 2011.
West Coast – one of the few teams left in the league with substance, although rumour will continue to suggest that the substance is in fact illegal. Clearing out Judd and Cousins will hurt, as Big Cox will be left with nobody to palm his balls to after the Perth taxi drivers' association refuses to transport Kerr to the ground on match day. 2011 will be their year.
Western Bulldogs – Can't win a premiership until they draft or trade somebody over 5 foot 8 into the team. The Japanese men's basketball team is taller than the Bulldogs, although the non-contact nature of their sport will contrive to make them less than ideal pre-season training partners. Loss of Chris 'Roger Ramjet' Grant will hurt morale, and the retirement of Luke Darcy will see the Bulldogs' average player height drop to just above that of the Lithuanian Dwarf Tossing team. Solid drafting should see some height return to the team by 2011.
For what it's worth, I don't think Fitzroy or University will be much show either. It'll be a lean 2008 for footy fans. And that's what I learned from bigfooty.
