chargers 09
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Society & Culture The BigFooty Guide to getting the woman of Your Desire (Part 7)
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DrVanNostrand
Premiership Player
I want Stephanie Brantz. Help.
Had a bit of a headscratcher happen the other week...
...Had the Adelaide United season launch dinner in town a couple of weeks ago. Went along with a friend I had met at AU games through my brother and we had a great night there being "fancy as ****" (as she put it). I had met up with her a few times beforehand and found her great fun to be around, if a bit loony and quite good looking. Anyway, night goes on and we're getting drunk and end up hooking up several times during the night, with her sneaking in first and making the move after casually (albeit drunkenly) elbowing me in the nuts as she leaned across me to get get someone else's attention. Didn't think much of it then, but it planted a festering ****ing timebomb in the back of my skull for the following week. After leaving it be for a week I quizzed her about it last weekend, asking if it was a "drunk" thing or would she have done it sober. Turns out it was just a drunken thing and she felt like kissing me cos I'm "a lovely person" and that I shouldn't read much into it. She also went into a spiel about not being ready for any sort of relationship right now. Fair enough, but after the fact I found this odd as I hadn't mentioned anything about relationships and all that hoo haa. Oh well...
Viewed on its own, that's fair enough, no? However, she's always come across as flirty whenever we've been around each other, grabbing my arm, holding hands and stuff beforehand...which is probably where I got my mixed signals from. Spoke to a mate about this last night and he seemed to think I had fecked up by brining up the hookup and not her. I probably would have followed his advice if it wasn't for the fact that drunk shenanigans never happened for me before, so I was in unknown waters here and decided to make a call on it
.
We managed to clear it all up, and still keep in regular contact and all. Don't think I've landed myself in the "Let's Just Be Friends" zone completely so it may not be the end of this one.
...Had the Adelaide United season launch dinner in town a couple of weeks ago. Went along with a friend I had met at AU games through my brother and we had a great night there being "fancy as ****" (as she put it). I had met up with her a few times beforehand and found her great fun to be around, if a bit loony and quite good looking. Anyway, night goes on and we're getting drunk and end up hooking up several times during the night, with her sneaking in first and making the move after casually (albeit drunkenly) elbowing me in the nuts as she leaned across me to get get someone else's attention. Didn't think much of it then, but it planted a festering ****ing timebomb in the back of my skull for the following week. After leaving it be for a week I quizzed her about it last weekend, asking if it was a "drunk" thing or would she have done it sober. Turns out it was just a drunken thing and she felt like kissing me cos I'm "a lovely person" and that I shouldn't read much into it. She also went into a spiel about not being ready for any sort of relationship right now. Fair enough, but after the fact I found this odd as I hadn't mentioned anything about relationships and all that hoo haa. Oh well...
Viewed on its own, that's fair enough, no? However, she's always come across as flirty whenever we've been around each other, grabbing my arm, holding hands and stuff beforehand...which is probably where I got my mixed signals from. Spoke to a mate about this last night and he seemed to think I had fecked up by brining up the hookup and not her. I probably would have followed his advice if it wasn't for the fact that drunk shenanigans never happened for me before, so I was in unknown waters here and decided to make a call on it
. We managed to clear it all up, and still keep in regular contact and all. Don't think I've landed myself in the "Let's Just Be Friends" zone completely so it may not be the end of this one.
- Jul 23, 2010
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- Hawthorn
If you didn't hit it that night, you're never hitting it imo.
- Thread starter
- #280
Well, as long as you think so, but I got half way through your post and said "Friendzoned". I mean:
...is pure friendzone. If you're interested in dating her or something, you're gonna have to pull right back, and gradually escalate your sexual 'attitude', if you like, to drop that 'lovely guy' persona. Frankly it's a messy job, and you could end up losing her friendship as a result.
Otherwise I'd just take her drinking again, enjoy the moment, and save the memories for a wank bank
- Jul 23, 2010
- 5,804
- 4,235
- AFL Club
- Hawthorn
And if it wasn't at the time it is now when you took her to out, got her drunk, she started constantly touching you, kissed you and then you failed to capitalise.
Well, as long as you think so, but I got half way through your post and said "Friendzoned". I mean:
...is pure friendzone. If you're interested in dating her or something, you're gonna have to pull right back, and gradually escalate your sexual 'attitude', if you like, to drop that 'lovely guy' persona. Frankly it's a messy job, and you could end up losing her friendship as a result.
Otherwise I'd just take her drinking again, enjoy the moment, and save the memories for a wank bank
True enough. Looking back on my post again I can see how I've ended up there.
My luck with women is an utter ****ing curse. Anything good that happens since my last girlfriend has systematically managed to go to shit or land me in the friendzone no matter what I do (or don't do). I guess the "not completely" was the optimist in me. She has been texting me pretty regularly since the talk (much to my phone bill's disgust )I'm sort of ambivalent about the whole thing. Before that night I didn't think much of her beyond mates, but events since have messed my head around a wee bit. Will take your advice and drop off the radar for a while and try to assess shit for what it is.
- Thread starter
- #283
She's probably fairly open with her sexuality, hence the casual flirting and general vibe you'd get from her, but unfortunately if you haven't laid the groundwork in place, you're just setting yourself for disappointment.
We've all been there, so don't stress. She seems like a cool chick if she's into sports, so maybe don't **** with that situation now, but in future for any other chick, once you've built some nice rapport, and she knows a bit about you, don't be scared to pull the trigger and bring some form of sexual or physical escalation in. Whether it's just a topic, or you become more touchy-feely in a non-sexual way, it's a positive signal. If you're constantly finding yourself friendzoned, I'd say it's because you build far too much comfort/rapport with a chick before indicating you wouldn't mind sticking in her arse (so to speak).
Better to go too early and have her think you're a jerk (recoverable) than too late and being that 'nice guy'
We've all been there, so don't stress. She seems like a cool chick if she's into sports, so maybe don't **** with that situation now, but in future for any other chick, once you've built some nice rapport, and she knows a bit about you, don't be scared to pull the trigger and bring some form of sexual or physical escalation in. Whether it's just a topic, or you become more touchy-feely in a non-sexual way, it's a positive signal. If you're constantly finding yourself friendzoned, I'd say it's because you build far too much comfort/rapport with a chick before indicating you wouldn't mind sticking in her arse (so to speak).
Better to go too early and have her think you're a jerk (recoverable) than too late and being that 'nice guy'
chargers 09
Premiership Player
Here's an interesting question, Does anyone find vans (the shoes) attractive on girls?
I used to hate it, now I'm a big fan.
I used to hate it, now I'm a big fan.
Who is looking at their feet?
Amen.
I can't think of any situation when I would. Mainly because vans only go with a certain outfit/style which doesn't really attract me...
Igloo
Not a mod
The only girl I know who wears Vans is my sister, so no. lol.
What, jeans?
Pants in general
well played
I absolutely love jeans and boots season by the way, there's just something about a girl with great legs and ass in some boots with a small heel
btw, I thought chargers was talking about these
If not, I'm probably showing my age...
Jeans can really highlight a great arse.
Sneakers just aren't very girly. I have to confess, I prefer girly girls.
chargers 09
Premiership Player
Yeah jeans. Oh well, each to their own.
JCore
Team Captain
- Jan 6, 2010
- 363
- 182
- AFL Club
- Carlton
On Friday night I was hanging out with a bunch of mates for a 17th birthday. Along the way we met up with some of the birthday guy's friends, of which included a pretty cute girl that took my fancy. Anyways, after meeting her we flirted pretty much the whole night, holding hands, cuddling up a bit etc. Later on, around 1am, two of the mates from the goup and myself walked her home. We continued the whole holding hands, cuddling, etc thing until we reached hers. At the front of hers she and I made out for a fair a bit before I said goodnight and continued walking with my two mates home.
Anyways, I'd given her my number earlier in the night and she texted me pretty quickly after I'd left. The next morning we had some pretty general conversation (eg. from her end "Have a good night?" and that kinda stuff) before I told her my phone was going flat and we'd talk later.
That afternoon as the initial message I said something along the lines of "So on Mondays I usually from mine to basketball. How about this Monday I leave a little earlier and come by yours on the way? We can hang out or do whatever we want What do you think? " To which I've yet to get a reply.
Now, I'm not entirely sure how to proceed after getting no reply. From what I see there are two options:
1. Don't send another message and wait for a reply that may not come
2. Send "Hey, I've gotten an invite somewhere else for tomorrow afternoon, so I need to know whether you're up for hanging out or not. It's totally cool if you're not, no hard feeling or anything, but I just need a yes or no."
Or option 3 if you guys can think of something much better which is probably easily possible.
(just for info I'm 17 and living in a small country town. Oh and, I was drinking during the night, but by 12am-ish I'd sobered up a fair bit and she wasn't drinking at all)
Anyways, I'd given her my number earlier in the night and she texted me pretty quickly after I'd left. The next morning we had some pretty general conversation (eg. from her end "Have a good night?
" and that kinda stuff) before I told her my phone was going flat and we'd talk later.That afternoon as the initial message I said something along the lines of "So on Mondays I usually from mine to basketball. How about this Monday I leave a little earlier and come by yours on the way? We can hang out or do whatever we want
What do you think? " To which I've yet to get a reply.Now, I'm not entirely sure how to proceed after getting no reply. From what I see there are two options:
1. Don't send another message and wait for a reply that may not come
2. Send "Hey, I've gotten an invite somewhere else for tomorrow afternoon, so I need to know whether you're up for hanging out or not. It's totally cool if you're not, no hard feeling or anything, but I just need a yes or no."
Or option 3 if you guys can think of something much better which is probably easily possible.
(just for info I'm 17 and living in a small country town. Oh and, I was drinking during the night, but by 12am-ish I'd sobered up a fair bit and she wasn't drinking at all)
Do you like her or want to bang her? Putting that wink after the whatever we want may have ruined your chances.
And wait.
And wait.
JCore
Team Captain
- Jan 6, 2010
- 363
- 182
- AFL Club
- Carlton
Yeah, I figured as much. I'd just woken up after catching up on sleep from the night before and wasn't really thinking completely. Don't really like her that much. Definitely not interested in a relationship with her. So, bang her.
If you don't care if you don't bang her go with your other plans option, but without sounding pushy.
JCore
Team Captain
- Jan 6, 2010
- 363
- 182
- AFL Club
- Carlton
Alright mate. Guess I'll go with "Hey, I've gotten an invite somewhere else for tomorrow afternoon, but I'd really prefer to hang out with you instead if you want to. It's totally cool if you're not up for it, I just need to know so I can get things sorted.
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