Autopsy The famous 2024 Whipping Boy Thread

[sr36]

And the fly talking post game to the players...I was told that he was inspirational...All he was doing was sucking up to some of the useless spuds like dean...the fabulous chase down tackle was the result of the freo guy losing control of the ball....hello hello anyone home?

Jesus. Fly has no ****ing idea.

When are we going to get a real coach?This is how it's done.

 

[Markfs]

That poor interviewer. How far into the spud video did you get. 30 seconds was enough for me. I'm not sure if spud is the right term. They seemed less animated than that.

i made it to the conclusion of the first part and then i checked that I was halfway through and then hit the kill button. I'm not sure but the media dept might be trying to slow down membership recruitment

 

[Markfs]

Jesus. Fly has no ******* idea.

When are we going to get a real coach?This is how it's done.

the fly would apologise for months if he spewed...

talking about the fly...i think that I saw caroline wilson say that he has got arrogant etc because he didnt acknowledge the opposing team in a game earlier in the season....and now he DOESNT STOP acknowledging opponents...

he says how wonderful they are...how talented...how much fun they are to watch...how he would like to coach them etc etc....biggest load of sucking up that i have seen from any coach in history.

 

[Chameleon75]

Have you seen his recruiting? Pretty obvious that he answers to the name of Jason.

I remember the first time someone asked me if I was “chasing”.

“Chasing? I’m just having a piss mate”

I had no idea what he was on about.

 

[Fat Jesus]

Jesus. Fly has no ******* idea.

When are we going to get a real coach?This is how it's done.

Thanks for letting me know bro.

 

[sr36]

I remember the first time someone asked me if I was “chasing”.

“Chasing? I’m just having a piss mate”

I had no idea what he was on about.

I think if you track our recruiting you can see when Dekka went from smoking heroin to injecting it.

2016 - Sam McLarty

 

[sr36]

Is anyone else gluing extra glass to their whips due to the likelihood of Nathan Krueger playing this week? It's welting season.

 

[Pie eyed]

As a toothless, tattooed, former mullet wearing and forever scarred victim of 1970 GF I dare.

Love your self description.
From a victim of the 1977 GF draw, replay and the 2010 GF draw.

You're true Collingwood supporter royalty.

 

[sr36]

Jesus. I just discovered there's something called the midseason draft. You used to just have one day a year where Dekka got to live out his fantasy life of being an Irish farmer and went out and harvested spuds.

Now it seems like he's harvesting spuds all year round. The horror of the National draft. The whole humiliating preseason where a whole bunch of rejects put on Collingwood jumpers and now this shit.

 

[Markfs]

who...ilrod swigg? it seems that wright is away and derek is back in charge of recruiting... is he from some unknown sport in some nordic wasteland? has he at least got a basic grasp of the english language?

 

[Sea fog]

who...ilrod swigg? it seems that wright is away and derek is back in charge of recruiting... is he from some unknown sport in some nordic wasteland? has he at least got a basic grasp of the english language?

You know he is back in charge when 1 of the recruits has roots elsewhere. This time he mined Seth Efrica.

 

[Markfs]

You know he is back in charge when 1 of the recruits has roots elsewhere. This time he mined Seth Efrica.

yeh i saw that foggy...he's looking for a cox clone...i'm afraid that he might have one...i'm not sure that i'll be able to withstand that seth african accent if he actually gets a game and does an interview...

of course derek could have picked a footballler but where's the challenge as he would say...the kid's got two arms and two legs hopefully

 

[Vicky Park]

Jesus. I just discovered there's something called the midseason draft. You used to just have one day a year where Dekka got to live out his fantasy life of being an Irish farmer and went out and harvested spuds.

Now it seems like he's harvesting spuds all year round. The horror of the National draft. The whole humiliating preseason where a whole bunch of rejects put on Collingwood jumpers and now this shit.

You’re so negative. The drafts are gold because we get to listen to the Dekka interview afterwards, and him droning on in his monotone voice, his tone and pitch never changing.

I couldn’t care less about his insights into the qualities of the boys he’s just drafted - it’s his overview that I need. I record the interviews and play them back at bedtime to help me sleep. It’s like a footy version of ASMR - Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response.

 

[Markfs]

You’re so negative. The drafts are gold because we get to listen to the Dekka interview afterwards, and him droning on in his monotone voice, his tone and pitch never changing.

I couldn’t care less about his insights into the qualities of the boys he’s just drafted - it’s his overview that I need. I record the interviews and play them back at bedtime to help me sleep. It’s like a footy version of ASMR - Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response.

I just watched the interview. I didnt manage to make it all the way through. Derek gave that "Lurch" smile when asked about the foreign kid's hobbies and then he got excited and it was too much for me.

Just a word about Darcy's progress in his career. We all see his work in the saudi's commercial which is shown all the time on the Pie site. You only have to contrast his engaging easy going demeanour to the stiff wooden performance by Crispy. I like Crispy in a lot of ways but he's been in the system for a long time, and he's still hopeless. Surely we delist him at the end of the seaso and get someone with some acting experience. The new foreign kid is a step in the right direction. Not that any of this helps our football, but we wont be winning a cup for a while so we'll need something to pull in the fans.

 

[Vicky Park]

I just watched the interview. I didnt manage to make it all the way through. Derek gave that "Lurch" smile when asked about the foreign kid's hobbies and then he got excited and it was too much for me.

You’re mistaken. Dekka never gets excited. Perhaps the smile you refer to is a facial tic? He is getting on a bit.

 

[Markfs]

You’re mistaken. Dekka never gets excited. Perhaps the smile you refer to is a facial tic? He is getting on a bit.

neither did lurch...maybe its a generational thing i'm talking about....the slight upturn of the lip...the almost discernible rise in intensity in the eyes. He loves his boys when they speak foreign languages and have long histories in operating theatres and rehab...

derek has poked his head into the fresh air with the passing of graham wright....he will spread his wings later in the year when he deals a final blow to our list.

 

[sr36]

You’re so negative. The drafts are gold because we get to listen to the Dekka interview afterwards, and him droning on in his monotone voice, his tone and pitch never changing.

I couldn’t care less about his insights into the qualities of the boys he’s just drafted - it’s his overview that I need. I record the interviews and play them back at bedtime to help me sleep. It’s like a footy version of ASMR - Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response.

You probably fell asleep too early, did he mention upside due to lack of exposure to elite pathways theory - the whole drafting blokes because they were shit juniors who didn't get picked for good teams theory.

Or December birthdays? What a stupid theory. Jesus was a December birthday and he turned the other cheek. He was soft. No mongrel whatsoever.

 

[Markfs]

You probably fell asleep too early, did he mention upside due to lack of exposure to elite pathways theory - the whole drafting blokes because they were shit juniors who didn't get picked for good teams theory.

Or December birthdays? What a stupid theory. Jesus was a December birthday and he turned the other cheek. He was soft. No mongrel whatsoever.

just in line with club policy, muhammad was born on 29th August and wasnt drafted...Krishna was born on 31st July and also wasnt drafted for that reason...

 

[Vicky Park]

You probably fell asleep too early, did he mention upside due to lack of exposure to elite pathways theory - the whole drafting blokes because they were shit juniors who didn't get picked for good teams theory.

Or December birthdays? What a stupid theory. Jesus was a December birthday and he turned the other cheek. He was soft. No mongrel whatsoever.

I think Derek’s time is up.

He is no chance of putting together a premiership list. He is bereft of ideas.

I heard he rang that former Pie, Ben Reid, who was prematurely bald and always in hospital, and asked for a recommendation on who we should draft.

WTF! Disaster will come of this. Dekka is the recruitment guru, not some old Pie hack who coaches the Manangatang Thirds.

 

[Timmy from Thomastown]

I think if you track our recruiting you can see when Dekka went from smoking heroin to injecting it.

2016 - Sam McLarty

McLarty wasn’t much of a player

But he sure played a mean pinball.

 

[Markfs]

I think Derek’s time is up.

He is no chance of putting together a premiership list. He is bereft of ideas.

I heard he rang that former Pie, Ben Reid, who was prematurely bald and always in hospital, and asked for a recommendation on who we should draft.

WTF! Disaster will come of this. Dekka is the recruitment guru, not some old Pie hack who coaches the Manangatang Thirds.

i'm not sure if derek ever had goals that included putting together a premiership list...although i will acknowledge to his fans out there that he assembled a group of footballers who lost the grand final. Something that a number of past collingwood recruiters have achieved quite easily. I think he has always championed the chronically injured footballer, the overseas footballer, the handicapped footballer, the marginalised footballer and the despised footballer. He is the champion for minorities and that's why he remains at the club as football manager, head recruiter, list manager, head strategist, and overall mentor. (info acquired from linksys)

 

[sr36]

I think Derek’s time is up.

He is no chance of putting together a premiership list. He is bereft of ideas.

I heard he rang that former Pie, Ben Reid, who was prematurely bald and always in hospital, and asked for a recommendation on who we should draft.

WTF! Disaster will come of this. Dekka is the recruitment guru, not some old Pie hack who coaches the Manangatang Thirds.

I think he's stooped to clairvoyants. Some drunken Romanian lady has told him that an African ruckman called Roo would be the answer to his big man issues. Two African ruckman who call themselves Roo - this shit can't be a coincidence. Just as it's no conincidence that Dekka has recruited another complete dud. Although the other African Roo at least had some mongrel - this one just has an incredibly embarassing website.

 

[Markfs]

The race to whipping boy status has been thrown open with the loss of players. Guys like WHE are looking like a million bucks when they're compared to blokes like sullivan and dean. Sullivan does remind me of a younger version of tom mitchell but without the ball getting skills. Dean should be able to get a job as a wich's hat for next year's training sessions.

 

[Markfs]

I know this is sacrilege but I have to put a vote in for jesus. He's been on the nose all year and much of the last part of last year.

I know that much of his work cant be faulted. His inner city work. His work with communities. His broadening of the magpie church to include the underprivilaged, the down-trodden, the helpless and the hopeless, the marginalised and those cast adrift from society. His media work is faultless.

Unfortunately, his footy is on the nose....severely. He has been reduced to his comical figure that spends his time telling the backline what they should be doing and then prompting forgetting to follow his own advice.

It is with no great pleasure that I nominate Jesus....and just hope that sometime between now and the end of this year, he rises up, ascends to his previous heights and gets a bloody kick.

 

[Yearofthe]

I know this is sacrilege but I have to put a vote in for jesus. He's been on the nose all year and much of the last part of last year.

I know that much of his work cant be faulted. His inner city work. His work with communities. His broadening of the magpie church to include the underprivilaged, the down-trodden, the helpless and the hopeless, the marginalised and those cast adrift from society. His media work is faultless.

Unfortunately, his footy is on the nose....severely. He has been reduced to his comical figure that spends his time telling the backline what they should be doing and then prompting forgetting to follow his own advice.

It is with no great pleasure that I nominate Jesus....and just hope that sometime between now and the end of this year, he rises up, ascends to his previous heights and gets a bloody kick.

Been saying it all year. As overrated as they come.

I wish he was sent to centre half forward.