Confidential Report. 1.3.2010
Code Name: Phantom Menace.
Aim of mission: Track down BF operative Wonna33 and establish his movements since going underground following BF FOTY Award, circa October 2009. Report back to senior members of Bay 13 as to his possible whereabouts and his actions since ceasing his long-winded and garbled communiques. Establish what link (if any) there was to his cessation of communiques and any technical issues Wonna33 was encountering at the time with RAM modules in his PC. Attempt to establish whether an offer of an additional RAM was received by Wonna33 from fellow members of BF for the purposes of increased output of communiques, and whether Wonna33 was able to fit additional RAM to PC in time. Ascertain why Wonna33 broke contact with main base at BF, and whether he has attempted to open up line of communication with main base via the use of code names and aliases. Interrogate any and all BF operatives who you believe might be:
a) Wonna33 concealed under an alias.
b) Operatives who may have some knowledge of Wona33's whereabouts.
c) Other operatives posting under an alias or aliases.
d) Aiding and abetting Wona33 in concealing his whereabouts.
Confidential Report. 10.3.2010
Code name: Phantom Menace.
Reporting Field Officer: D.B. Swannie
Report Summary: I, D.B. Swannie report the following:
At 0800hrs today I and two field officers (names deleted) set up a clandestine Rendition centre along the Illawarra escarpment in a cave located near a bottle shop. At 1000hrs our first suspect was brought into Sydney Airport, placed in a van, and brought to us. We secured him and began our interrogations.
Transcript of Interrogation:
DBS: For the purposes of this interview, I note that in this cave is myself, two operatives (names deleted) and one BF poster who has been brought here for questioning (sound of muffled abuse in the background). I will now remove the hood from the detainee's head (hood removed). Could you please state your Big Footy name?
Detainee: Why don't you go f**k youself you misserable troll!
DBS: Thank you. I would like the records to show that the detainee has positively identified himself as Mr Rude.
Mr Rude: Cut to the chase you miserable flog!
DBS: Thank you Mr Rude, you've already positively identified yourself for the purposes of this interview. Can you tell me what knowledge you have of a poster by the name of Wonna33?
Mr Rude: A Melbourne poster, quite legendary. FOTY if I remember rightly, troll.
DBS: According to CP07, you joined BF around the same time Wonna33 disappeared, is that right?
Mr Rude: You taking the word of a multiflog like him! (Mr rude then begins to become quite offensive. The hood is placed back on his head, and he is taken to an adjacent cave for some enhanced interrogation techniques).
Advanced waterboarding technique No 5 was used (a hose is inserted into the anal cavity and water is forced up and into the canal, causing extreme discomfort for most recipients.) Mr Rude was given 30 minutes of technique 5, but upon realizing that it was having the opposite desired effect, technique 5 was discontinued. Mr Rude was placed in a cell, with a laptop and access to BF, while our next strategy is considered.
END OF REPORT 10.3.2010
Code Name: Phantom Menace.
Aim of mission: Track down BF operative Wonna33 and establish his movements since going underground following BF FOTY Award, circa October 2009. Report back to senior members of Bay 13 as to his possible whereabouts and his actions since ceasing his long-winded and garbled communiques. Establish what link (if any) there was to his cessation of communiques and any technical issues Wonna33 was encountering at the time with RAM modules in his PC. Attempt to establish whether an offer of an additional RAM was received by Wonna33 from fellow members of BF for the purposes of increased output of communiques, and whether Wonna33 was able to fit additional RAM to PC in time. Ascertain why Wonna33 broke contact with main base at BF, and whether he has attempted to open up line of communication with main base via the use of code names and aliases. Interrogate any and all BF operatives who you believe might be:
a) Wonna33 concealed under an alias.
b) Operatives who may have some knowledge of Wona33's whereabouts.
c) Other operatives posting under an alias or aliases.
d) Aiding and abetting Wona33 in concealing his whereabouts.
Confidential Report. 10.3.2010
Code name: Phantom Menace.
Reporting Field Officer: D.B. Swannie
Report Summary: I, D.B. Swannie report the following:
At 0800hrs today I and two field officers (names deleted) set up a clandestine Rendition centre along the Illawarra escarpment in a cave located near a bottle shop. At 1000hrs our first suspect was brought into Sydney Airport, placed in a van, and brought to us. We secured him and began our interrogations.
Transcript of Interrogation:
DBS: For the purposes of this interview, I note that in this cave is myself, two operatives (names deleted) and one BF poster who has been brought here for questioning (sound of muffled abuse in the background). I will now remove the hood from the detainee's head (hood removed). Could you please state your Big Footy name?
Detainee: Why don't you go f**k youself you misserable troll!
DBS: Thank you. I would like the records to show that the detainee has positively identified himself as Mr Rude.
Mr Rude: Cut to the chase you miserable flog!
DBS: Thank you Mr Rude, you've already positively identified yourself for the purposes of this interview. Can you tell me what knowledge you have of a poster by the name of Wonna33?
Mr Rude: A Melbourne poster, quite legendary. FOTY if I remember rightly, troll.
DBS: According to CP07, you joined BF around the same time Wonna33 disappeared, is that right?
Mr Rude: You taking the word of a multiflog like him! (Mr rude then begins to become quite offensive. The hood is placed back on his head, and he is taken to an adjacent cave for some enhanced interrogation techniques).
Advanced waterboarding technique No 5 was used (a hose is inserted into the anal cavity and water is forced up and into the canal, causing extreme discomfort for most recipients.) Mr Rude was given 30 minutes of technique 5, but upon realizing that it was having the opposite desired effect, technique 5 was discontinued. Mr Rude was placed in a cell, with a laptop and access to BF, while our next strategy is considered.
END OF REPORT 10.3.2010
