The Hunt for Missing Posters..Where are they now?

[Biffinator]

Comrades Big Easy & Mofra, thanks for the support but it is clearly Panzer II Pride Week here on the Bay and who am I to rain on the parade?

Bandwagon2007 & Big Bad Pam, I wanted to apologise to you formally. I should be more mindful of your insecurities as Bay 13 cannon-fodder.

Mindful of my evil ways, what if I were to create a new persona, Biff Lite, and start penning the following threads? Would that ease your concerns?

• Club XXX is shit
• Player XXX is shit
• Player XXX is gay
• When players shit themselves, Version 2 – in homage to your masterpiece, Pam. OMG, it has been moved! What a travesty!
• When did your club last win a premiership?
• Things that have happened since XXX won a premiership

Perhaps I am like King Canute trying to hold back the tide. Is it time to capitulate – as the two of you have instrinically – to the Law of the Lowest Common Denominator?

Biffinator.

 

[Grimreepah]

Biff is a Bay13 legend. His personal hatred towards me fills me with a sense of pride to be acknowledged by the great man. His elegant prose in his trolling of my club is a joy to watch and leaves me with a yearning for more. I won't have a bad word spoken about him.

 

[Jumbo]

Where did mad dog go?

 

[Tyler Durden007]

Anyone sighted Neville Bartos? Been gone a while from the Bay

 

[db swannie]

CONFIDENTIAL REPORT 11.3.2010

Code name: Phantom Menace.

Reporting Field Officer: D.B. Swannie

Report Summary: I, D.B. Swannie report the following:

At 0800hrs today my two operatives (names deleted) informed me of the delivery of another suspect, again brought in by plane from Melbourne. We checked on the status of Mr Rude in annex 1, whose main concern seemed to be the condition of Liam Jarrah's shoulder and what draft concessions were being handed out next season for the lower placed clubs, and so we left to pick up suspect 2.

We picked up suspect 2, who was in a large hessian sack secured at the top. Let the records show that during our drive back suspect 2 made odd, muffled references to building materials, and a female called “Ruth”. Will investigate the possible link to Wonna33 and “Ruth” later.

Transcript of Interrogation:

DBS: For the purposes of this interview, I wish to confirm that in this room is I, Agent DB Swannie, two operatives, and one Big Footy poster, who has just been brought here from Melbourne this morning. (Hood is removed from detainee's head) Can you please state your Big Footy name please?

Detainee: Awww, god, this place stinks! What a bloody shithole, I must be in Sydney! Do all the houses look like this? Your an idiot mate if you-

DBS: Don't you mean, “You are”?

Detainee: Ah shit, another Big Footy bloody pedant! For god's sake don't you know who I am? I am one of the most important intellectuals on BF, which I'd have to say is quite some cross to bear you Sydney baffoon!

DBS: The word is “buffoon”, and please let the records show that the detainee has positively identified himself as BigBadCam.

BBC: Look I know you are a bit stupid, because you are from Sydney, no further roof needed-

DBS: You mean “proof” don't you?

BBC: That's what I said, or what I meant to say, but I pressed send in my head before- oh never mind...Look, where was I? Yes, you are stupid, being from Sydney, and I am quite an intellectual, so this conversation may be a little difficult for you to follow, but do try.

DBS: Firstly a question. Do you know the whereabouts of Wonna33, he was FOTY in 2009, a poll that was-

BBC: I'm very familiar with that poll, you cretin. I started it, well, I was going to start it, but I didn't press- anyway, where was I? Yes the Hawthorn football club is nothing more than a mardi gras procession – you'd know about one of those, wouldn't you, living in this shit stain city – of hapless homosexuals whose shorts perfectly mirror the predicament they find themselves in, ipso factum, that they defecate whilst their shorts are still on, hence the colour brown representing two things – this is called humour you Sydney Mardi Gras merchant, so pay attention – one, the colour of a football team, and two, the colour of faeces, which as you probably don't know, is German for shit...

(NOTE: At this point of the interview I and my two operatives left the room. The tape recorded transcript of what BBC said whilst nobody was in the room will be available later, once all the transcribing has been done. We decided on an immediate course of action. Firstly, that under no circumstances would we use Advanced Waterboarding technique No 5 on BBC, and decided instead on trialling the “Clockwork Orange” technique. This involves strapping the suspect into a seat in front of a large plasma screen tv (with the suspect's eyelids pinned back), and replaying on a loop for an indeterminate period of time a devastating moment in the suspect's life. In the case of BBC it was decided to use the final 3 minutes of the elimination final versus the Swans in 2005. Throughout the viewing a reel of Wonna33's posts will be played at high volume into headphones with Pink as a backing track.)


BBC:...Yeah stupid, so there's this priest and an altar boy, and in my script the altar boy looks suspiciously like Sam Mitchell, and I'll be playing the priest-

DBS: Excuse me BBC, but due to the fact that you are unwilling to co-operate with us regarding Wonna33, we will need to place you under a more intense form of interrogation-

BBC: It won't hurt, will it? I mean, it may hurt, what I mean to say is that it could hurt...well, that if it did hurt, mmm must not press send, must not press send-

DBS: Don't worry, it's more psychological than physical-

BBC: Oh. Well I've read Freud anyway, stupid, so I know all about that...

Interview terminated and BBC placed in annex 2, where loud screams and cries were heard coming from soon after. Mr Rude is in a state of shock over Jurrah's shoulder and we are considering terminating his rendition.

END OF REPORT 11.3.2010

 

[Ant_]

Anyone sighted Neville Bartos? Been gone a while from the Bay

He lost the bet in the bet your bigfooty life thread. Perhaps staying away for its duration?

 

[Mofra]

db swannie wisely interviewing the Bay 13 flog community first, as they'd be the posters with the closest ties to Wonna. So many interviewees to choose from.

 

[Biffinator]

Biff is a Bay13 legend. His personal hatred towards me fills me with a sense of pride to be acknowledged by the great man. His elegant prose in his trolling of my club is a joy to watch and leaves me with a yearning for more. I won't have a bad word spoken about him.

Grimreepah, you are so much on my "To Nail List, 2010" it is not funny.

You are the King of Spades in my "Iraqi Most Wanted Pack of Cards", ranking up there with Fremantle Uber-Flog Sonson. But when have I ever trolled your club? I like the Lions.

Biffinator.

 

[lions_den]

gibbs2yarran

whatever happened to that spark..?

Posting under another name perhaps??

Me and 10 Essendon flogs made a bet and the little prick got an 11 month beat down.

 

[Grimreepah]

Grimreepah, you are so much on my "To Nail List, 2010" it is not funny.

You are the King of Spades in my "Iraqi Most Wanted Pack of Cards", ranking up there with Fremantle Uber-Flog Sonson. But when have I ever trolled your club? I like the Lions.

Biffinator.

So just as my admiration for you is reciprocated with hatred towards me, my dislike for the Demons is reciprocated with 'a soft spot' for the Lions? How wonderfully odd.

I am honoured to reach King status, and the prospect of being nailed by you certainly is tantalising... or was that a carefully laid trap that I just fell into? It seems I am still coming to terms with the depths of you.

 

[Bigeasy]

Grimreepah, you are so much on my "To Nail List, 2010" it is not funny.

You are the King of Spades in my "Iraqi Most Wanted Pack of Cards", ranking up there with Fremantle Uber-Flog Sonson. But when have I ever trolled your club? I like the Lions.

Biffinator.

Whatever happened to that pack of cards? Where are BBC and CP2007 in your deck? I am assuming the Jokers?

 

[el jefe]

What makes you think that the rest of us prefer your childish and simplistic threads? Who do you think gets the most reaction? Why do you feel the need to attack Biff? Seems to me Biff knows exactly how Bay 13 works whilst you...well let's just say you are out of your league here Pammy.

So true.

Whatever happened to that pack of cards? Where are BBC and CP2007 in your deck? I am assuming the Jokers?

I'd say he'd be the blank card which you always forget to take out of the deck.

 

[BigBadCam]

Wow Biff. You use big words and you're so cool. Will you be my friend?

 

[CharlieMortdecai]

Wow Biff. You use big words and you're so cool. Will you be my friend?

Never mind mate, master the five letter words first and you can gradually work your way up.
I thought it was very brave of you to tackle "loquacious" earlier and while the usage is questionable, the spelling is spot on.

 

[Bandwagon2010]

Wow Biff. You use big words and you're so cool. Will you be my friend?

Big Bad Cam dont let that Clowninator get to you. he makes a habit of picking on the dumbies what a bully he is but anyone can chow down on the easy meat

Come down to the Corio Bay Roadhouse anytime and have a creamy soda on the house. and keep posting those pearler threads they are swell

 

[Chewy]

Wow Biff. You use big words and you're so cool. Will you be my friend?

almost as cringeworthy as some of your loquacious threads.

As far as flogs go, you're pretty high on the list Biffinator.

BigBadCam puts down his mildewy bong for a few minutes and looks up the word "loquacious" in his thesaurus

Where is that thread about self-pwnage?

I only opened this thread to see if anyone knew where Mr Lizard had gone, but to my surprise, I see that the uber-flog, BigBadCam is sledging our comrade Biffinator and typing out whole sentences.

 

[Ant_]

I only opened this thread to see if anyone knew where Mr Lizard had gone,

Yeah haven't seen him for a while now.

 

[CharlieMortdecai]

I only opened this thread to see if anyone knew where Mr Lizard had gone, but to my surprise, I see that the uber-flog, BigBadCam is sledging our comrade Biffinator and typing out whole sentences.

Ironically, he is sledging Biffinator for typing out whole sentences. Apparently Bay 13 is not the place for complete sentences - they are simply a tool used by those with a high school education to big-note themselves while denigrating those who struggle with literacy. Biff will be first against the wall when the revolution comes.

 

[Spartan]

Top thread.

May i suggest other members of the MFB may know of W33's current location? Members of the MFB board such as cannons and Whelan=Fail surely must know where he is.

 

[Ant_]

Is he still a mod over at TAE?

 

[Axel.]

Have you found Wonna yet?

 

[db swannie]

Have you found Wonna yet?

2 interrogations down, no definite leads yet. More renditions later perhaps...

 

[Mr Rude]

Not bad for a dumb bastard swannie.

I laughed, was much better than i had anticipated. If you really want to interview me and not make shit up id be happy to assist you in your inquires and helping what i think is a promising thread along.

 

[db swannie]

Not bad for a dumb bastard swannie.

I laughed, was much better than i had anticipated. If you really want to interview me and not make shit up id be happy to assist you in your inquires and helping what i think is a promising thread along.

Once I'm finished with BigBadCam in annex 2 I may get back to you, that is if you're feeling better in annex 1...

 

[Mr Rude]

db swannie wisely interviewing the Bay 13 flog community first, as they'd be the posters with the closest ties to Wonna. So many interviewees to choose from.

Thanks Mofra. Love you too.