The Worst Football Jargon

[Looney]

"Quality Opposition" - I start to dry reach every time i hear this.

 

[Footy_Tiger]

Cant stand it when they say "bounce down".

 

[Joelong]

"turf toe"

To be fair it is a bit easier than saying “Metatarsalphalangeal joint sprain.”

 

[dread and might]

Haven't read whole thread, but I can't stand: "Meterage"

 

[Boppo]

Soda. Just stop.

 

[Footy_Tiger]

To be fair it is a bit easier than saying “Metatarsalphalangeal joint sprain.”

Hahahahahaha that's seriously funny, I cant even say the word.
So Turf Toe it is lmao

 

[Profit]

"X-factor" - code for "indigenous, can get 3 touches a game and maybe kick a goal if no opponent within 20 metres".

"Dukes" - pure Taylor-ism. Also pure undiluted horseshit.

"Clunks it" - Another instant executable offence in a just world.

"Catch" - No excuse for this. Ever.

Cannot stand these. As for the bold, what is the origin of 'dukes'?? I have a pretty good grasp of anatomy and this doesn't make any sense to me at all

 

[Madison]

I don't know why a lot of these are that annoying. I barely even notice these sayings. Hopefully I don't start because of this thread.

I do however, hate the following. "Your Abletts, Bartels, Judds, etc", "Your Collingwoods, Geelongs, West Coasts etc".

There's only one of each! It irks me.

 

[kidkenobi]

I don't know if these qualify as footy jargon, but it's definitely footy language that is popular among players/commentators which I hate.

"He's not working hard enough for mine". - just hate it, it's not even a saying, it's the worst.

"Yeah he played fantastic today". - IT'S FANTASTICALLY

"He really come out strong in the second half". - IT'S CAME

seriously people, learn2english

 

[Boppo]

Cannot stand these. As for the bold, what is the origin of 'dukes'?? I have a pretty good grasp of anatomy and this doesn't make any sense to me at all

Dukes is a great term. Pretty sure most on here will know they refer to your hands As in put up your dukes when fighting, its not very obscure at all.

People like BT and Commetti have enough cred for mine to create footyisms, let's face it without these types through the years there would be no words at all.

 

[tropicaltiger]

To be perfectly honest - So many coaches and players say it when getting interviewed. What do they think we are idiots.....
Its usually all just crap and spin, Like when Cloke has 3 kicks and 1 handball and kickes 2 behinds and Buckley says "I thought Clokey presented well and worked very hard and was crucial to our structures I thought he was great for us to be perfectly honest".

 

[Cleavy]

To be fair it is a bit easier than saying “Metatarsalphalangeal joint sprain.”

depends if it's joints or ligaments I guess

 

[Contra Mundum]

Quarterback, shot clock, structure up

 

[lincsPJ]

"closing speed"

he's just a faster runner than the bloke he's chasing....

 

[MarkJohnson#1]

"young kids" or "kids" - they are not children for **** sake

 

[mad_monkey_j]

I was watching the soccer the other night and one of the commentators said "Spain literally passes a team to death". I spat out my beverage. Thankfully it's not just in the AFL where the commentators can't grasp the English language...

 

[believe_it]

WTF is this "chaos ball" everyone keeps mentioning?

Its a rune that respawns from a sack in front of the gnome stronghold. Get past the guard troll to collect the rune then speak to the flag wizard. Once he casts a spell it can then be used as a defensive strike .

 

[Merapi]

scoreboard pressure easily. its such a ******* shit obvious piece of terminology. its just plain dumb that if you dont hit the scoreboard you are not putting pressure on the opposing team and are allowing them an opportunity to hit back

Agreed - that was the first one that came to mind. A quick google and I found this quote:

‘We all love to win but what we are saying is the last thing you see is consistent scoreboard pressure, it is all the things before that.’ Melbourne coach Mark Neeld after the Demons’ Round 4, 2012, loss to the Bulldogs by 21 points.

http://scoreboardpressure.com/scoreboard-quotes/

What?

 

[Quivorir]

"closing speed"

he's just a faster runner than the bloke he's chasing....

Thank you, was having an argument with someone about this earlier in the thread I believe.

 

[Hens Hall]

Can't be bothered reading the whole thread but has anyone mention...

"Kicks from the impossible angle..."

 

[Footy_Tiger]

Anything blight says.
He may be a specialist commentator or what ever they call it.
Just shut up and talk about what is happening in the game now, stop blabbering on about something that happened that was slightly similar 30 years ago and isn't even relevant now anyway.

 

[Noidenous]

"Quality Opposition" - I start to dry reach every time i hear this.

I don't know who started using this particular piece of 'social jargon'. It's 'retch'. Some idiot simply mixed it with 'heave' and voila... a new phrase for yokels was born.

retch (rɛtʃ, riːtʃ)

—vb
1. (intr) to undergo an involuntary spasm of ineffectual vomiting; heave
2. to vomit

—n
3. an involuntary spasm of ineffectual vomiting


Notice how the phonetics don't use an elongated 'ee' or 'ea' sound, hence the usage of t?

If you're retching, why feel the need to qualify it with 'dry'? You either retch or succeed in vomiting.

 

[TonyT]

Everything Dwayne says:

Can get and go
It's a spear! (wtf?)

 

[kirbatron]

probably already menioned but when players/coaches say 'come' instead of 'came'

i.e he come up from the bush or he come from inside 50

 

[Dinsdale]

its probably already been said somewhere in the previous 10 pages, but I hate how "punching" the ball became "fisting" the ball...whoever started that trend deserves a punch in the head