The Worst Football Jargon

[big footy cyril]

--- is the most improved player this season.
Im pretty sure there's been about 867 different MOST improved already by just round 10.

 

[Captivating]

"For mine" makes me cringe every time I hear it

This wins....close the thread.

 

[TheTrademark]

None of Bruce's "irony" is actually irony. They are actually just occurrences, circumstances, happenings or associations... maybe even coincidences at best!!

 

[Cyclonus]

Ahem.
I would consider that "Eevan" is not the normaly way of pronouncing Ivan in English.

Ivan is pronounced this way in Croatian, hence Maric receiving this pronunciation. Other Slavic languages (example Russian) may be responsible for variations in pronunciation. I'm guessing some commentators don't understand this difference. Surely by the end of the year they would have corrected this.

 

[Bardo State]

None of Bruce's "irony" is actually irony. They are actually just occurrences, circumstances, happenings or associations... maybe even coincidences at best!!

This one shits me up the wall

"Gee isn't it ironic that (insert random stat that isn't even remotely ironic)"

I get the people that mix irony with coincidence but they are not even close

 

[SaintsSeptember]

Ivan is pronounced this way in Croatian, hence Maric receiving this pronunciation. Other Slavic languages (example Russian) may be responsible for variations in pronunciation. I'm guessing some commentators don't understand this difference. Surely by the end of the year they would have corrected this.

Oh so a school teacher upon reading a name from the role must then determine the nationality of the student before pronouncing his/her name in the correct local dialect. ( My point; the comentators are not paid to be linguists ).
The name Peter is pronounced differently in parts of Europe but in Australia it will be "Pee ter"
Ivan is the same IMO.

 

[Black Diamond]

This is my, ahem, 'favourite' McAvaney moment this season.

 

[Cyclonus]

Oh so a school teacher upon reading a name from the role must then determine the nationality of the student before pronouncing his/her name in the correct local dialect. ( My point; the comentators are not paid to be linguists ).
The name Peter is pronounced differently in parts of Europe but in Australia it will be "Pee ter"
Ivan is the same IMO.

Don't be so dramatic. Of course the local pronunciation is a viable option. Once the true pronunciation is known, however, people should adopt it. It's fine calling him Eye-van Mar-ick at first, but surely they will come to learn of the correct pronunciation in time. If it continues next season, you'd wonder how they haven't been schooled on the correct version.

 

[Richo83]

This is my, ahem, 'favourite' McAvaney moment this season.

This is my main gripe with Bruce, he clearly has favourites, and frequently goes overboard in his love of certain players (Rioli, Judd) or teams (Carlton). He makes little if any effort to remain unbiased.

You can pick on commentators for using jargon, but when they act like a bunch of giddy teenagers meeting their favourite rock stars for the first time, it's embarrassing.

 

[Byron_Clanger]

He is one of the best ______ in the game

 

[vonn]

Not that big of a deal but :

'He took that with strong hands'
As opposed to what? Weak hands? Moderately strong hands?

'Strong Mark'
Is the mark strong in that it has physical strength? Can it overpower and shut you up?

 

[Chops_a_must]

None of Bruce's "irony" is actually irony. They are actually just occurrences, circumstances, happenings or associations... maybe even coincidences at best!!

Alanic perhaps?

 

[The Edukator]

scoreboard pressure easily. its such a ****ing shit obvious piece of terminology. its just plain dumb that if you dont hit the scoreboard you are not putting pressure on the opposing team and are allowing them an opportunity to hit back

 

[Trojan90]

Cometti using WWE references. "like John cena at wrestle mania".

 

[BrunoV]

Anything to do with the defensive aspects of a player is almsot exclusively BS.

It is not to say that certain players are not defensive, it is that a lack of defensive accountability or effort (or however you want to phrase it) is overwhelmingly used as an excuse to pot a bloke you don't like or you think is too old; or who how you want to detract from.

A few recent examples spring to mind (and get at a general misunderstanding of [typically] slow inside players). I've heard Ralph and some other second rate journos talk about Jobe Watson's defensive efforts increasing with his rise to elite status; and last week there was that sh1t about Shane Tuck being sprouted by Hardwick and co*.

I'll confidently tell you that Watson's (and slightly less confidently tell you the same about Tuck) first and almost only form of defence is to attack (i.e. win the ball). He is still too slow to do any useful defensive running which is why he gets forward to kick goals quite regularly*. I have a pretty strong feeling that the same is true of Sam Mitchell. These guys lay lots of tackles but their overal contribution as defensive players is, I feel, very misnuderstood.

A few other examples come to mind but I will leave it at this. There was constant criticism of Bachar Houli while at Essendon for his lack of defensive work and yet Courtney Dempsey was no more defensively solid but assured a game each week (not that hindsight says that losing Bachar really hurt).

I would go to town on the use of the phrase "game plan" and structures but I don't have the hour I need to do it properly.




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* Do not take this as criticism of the players in anyway. Wason is still easily our best player and a genuine champion of the competition (there are only so many 30 [10 to 15 contested] possession, two goal games you can play). Tuck has been leading clearances, tackles and contested possessions from the moment he entered Punt Road.

 

[Portmanteau]

Problem I've noticed is they aren't bringing in professional announcers anymore, they are all ex coaches, ex players etc that are taught how to commentate and dribble shit. Not sure why this is, but you listen to any premier league game and the professionalism of Martin Tyler, Clyde Tildsley and the like leave these blockheads for dead.

[/thread]

Vale Clinton Grybas.

 

[Quivorir]

Blinkers. "he has his blinkers on"

Wtf does that even mean?

 

[Black Diamond]

Blinkers. "he has his blinkers on"

Wtf does that even mean?

A racehorse wears blinkers and runs fast in a straight line.

 

[Quivorir]

Okay. After googling racehorse blinkers it makes perfect sense. Thanks.

 

[Billyc]

"Spread."

They used to call it running.

 

[misha12321]

saying teams are 'within' a certain amount of points when they are actually that exact amount of points behind

 

[Black Diamond]

It annoys me when commentators say "Team X leads by 5 goals to 3". Surely it should be "...leads by 2 goals"? After all, "leads by" implies a margin rather than an actual scoreline.

 

[Cleavy]

"turf toe"

 

[MCG-Unit]

"X-factor" - code for "indigenous, can get 3 touches a game and maybe kick a goal if no opponent within 20 metres".

"Dukes" - pure Taylor-ism. Also pure undiluted horseshit.

"Catch" - No excuse for this. Ever.

These right there - with no 3 being the worst ever.....

 

[Black Diamond]

The sad reality is all footy commentators are utterly obsessed with introducing new and terrible jargon into commentary, whether it makes any sense or not, or is even part of the English language (a lot isn't). A short list of comments that make me want to kill people (especially Brian Taylor and Dwayne Russell):

Yeah, I know. I did start this thread after all.

"X-factor" - code for "indigenous, can get 3 touches a game and maybe kick a goal if no opponent within 20 metres".

"From the paint" - anyone who says it should be shot. Without exception.

"Structures" as well as "Important to our structures" - the latter means "he's a shit defender and a shit forward, but if we put 10 guys around him we can pretend he's a good footballer".

"Dukes" - pure Taylor-ism. Also pure undiluted horseshit.

"Clunks it" - Another instant executable offence in a just world.

"Catch" - No excuse for this. Ever.

"Shot on goal" - This. It is a shot AT goal. AT GOAL - AT GOAL - AT GOAL. When was the last time you saw a ball land on a goal you sheepminded morons?

Major lulz at all of these. Great post.