Roast We are the equivalent the worlds 2 worst shits having a shit Warning includes club criticisms

[DJ75]

What did you expect for an offseason coaching announcement for the woman's team?

The last home game got 3,800 people to it. No matter how much money you throw at it the masses just aren't going to care.

The masses DID care. Then the AFL started screwing around with it.
We are a football club yes? We are meant to win football games.
We have the core of that successful team still there. We are (theoretically) still in the hunt for premierships.

I'd expect better that Strachan FFS.

 

[MRB37]

Dew and Rutten would have taken over as forward coach and potentially a senior assistant role. Burns would have remained backline and senior assistant.

The microscope has to be put on Scott Burns as well as many others.

Correct me if I’m wrong but he was in charge of the defense in the years we conceded the most points in the league. Meanwhile, the forward line was the highest scoring in the league.
Rahilly leaves, we try for Dew and Rutten to replace him. Instead Homsch is promoted to backline coach and Burns moves to forward coach.

Now our forward line looks like an absolute shambles and our backline has improved dramatically.

I’d also question how much he provides as a senior assistant.

The report in the pre-season was we approached Rutten and Dew. Both wanted the senior assistant role, we said "Sorry, we got Burns as 2IC", so they said "I'm not interested in moving sideways". We asked Nigel Lapin and Jude Bolton too, turned down by them as well, so they did the 'ol "promote from within" deal.

Our backline hasn't really "improved dramatically" either. They're holding their own, overall we're like 2 points better off a game defensively.

 

[Matman23]

The report in the pre-season was we approached Rutten and Dew. Both wanted the senior assistant role, we said "Sorry, we got Burns as 2IC", so they said "I'm not interested in moving sideways". We asked Nigel Lapin and Jude Bolton too, turned down by them as well, so they did the 'ol "promote from within" deal.

Our backline hasn't really "improved dramatically" either. They're holding their own, overall we're like 2 points better off a game defensively.

Definitely the wrong decision.

Our defense is in a much better place than 12 months ago under Burns.
Keane, Worrell, Nank and Michalanny have really stepped up.

 

[MRB37]

Definitely the wrong decision.

Our defense is in a much better place than 12 months ago under Burns.
Keane, Worrell, Nank and Michalanny have really stepped up.

I dare say that's mostly through experience and not necessarily any magic Hombsch has or Burns doesn't.

It's the one area of the ground we pretty much totally developed around youth and amazingly it's actually improving!

 

[Checksider]

I dare say that's mostly through experience and not necessarily any magic Hombsch has or Burns doesn't.

It's the one area of the ground we pretty much totally developed around youth and amazingly it's actually improving!

Maybe a bit harsh on Hombsch/Burns here, but hopefully the lesson of backing in the kids gets through.

Our midfield is crying out for it! The silver lining to this cluster**** of a season that I’m hoping for, is opportunity to some young mids who can show a bit leading into next year.

 

[AFC979810]

The masses DID care. Then the AFL started screwing around with it.
We are a football club yes? We are meant to win football games.
We have the core of that successful team still there. We are (theoretically) still in the hunt for premierships.

I'd expect better that Strachan FFS.

Did they? Or was it just a short term novelty propped up by the AFL throwing a chunk of money at it to promote it.

 

[Slippery Pete]

The masses DID care.

They cared when it had novelty value, and that’s all it was ever going to have to anyone with more than two brain cells.

 

[Slime Roy]

'Emergency Meeting @ West Lakes'

Nix: I just heard welness guru Emma Murray on SEN, you know she was at Richmond in the dynasty...now she's at the Swannies during THEIR 'Rebuild!'

WE really need something like that, a woman, so they'll let their guards down but a mind-coach to really un-pack their worries..any ideas?

Kels: Godden's Sister went to a shrink once...

Nix: Bingo-Bango! THAT'S our Girl..pop past pay-roll after '1-min-match' committee.

Kels: Done & Donner!

 

[Slime Roy]

Just thinking about Laird and Crouch's stats and I am reminded of Robert Harvey from the Saints now a coach. Blight came in and said let Harvey get his 30+ stats he does nothing with them. Nix the idiot thinks getting 30+ from these 2 is great football. Delusional prxxk he is.

Hughie Greenwood said it best, in response to a (grammatically poor) sledge from our esteemed footy director

"WOW, imagine someone from the Crows valuing disposals over impact"

That was five years ago.. after he was delisted for being "too old (28) and not part of our next premiership side"

 

[DJ75]

They cared when it had novelty value, and that’s all it was ever going to have to anyone with more than two brain cells.

ok grandad. Is that also why the Matildas keep on selling out the stadiums?

 

[AFC979810]

ok grandad. Is that also why the Matildas keep on selling out the stadiums?

What does the Matilda's selling out a stadium have to do with the fact that nobody cares about AFLW?

 

[Slippery Pete]

ok grandad. Is that also why the Matildas keep on selling out the stadiums?

What the hell do the Matildas have to do with anything?

Average crowd at AFLW matches last season was 2,868. Source: https://www.austadiums.com/sport/comp/aflw/crowds

Where are all these “masses” of people interested in this competition?

Were they captured by aliens?

 

[AFC979810]

What the hell do the Matildas have to do with anything?

Average crowd at AFLW matches last season was 2,868. Source: https://www.austadiums.com/sport/comp/aflw/crowds

Where are all these “masses” of people interested in this competition?

Were they captured by aliens?

They are SANFL spillovers.

 

[MatthewB]

final report will be, everything is fine, no changes needed

 

[Slippery Pete]

final report will be, everything is fine, no changes needed

Press conference will be on a Saturday at 3pm

 

[rocket18]

final report will be, everything is fine, no changes needed

This moron is having an oxymoron.

Can Wayne please explain how you can conduct a thorough review of the football staff and structure but Nicks job is already declared safe before the review starts.

What happens if this 'thorough' review concludes Nicks should go?

Sounds like one of those review where you start with the result you want and then work backwards.

What a joke of a football club we are.

 

[MsTopG]

final report will be, everything is fine, no changes needed

"Thorough". That's a laugh. It will amount to Silvers probably seeing nicks in the carpark and asking "How's it all going Nicksy?" "Great Timbo, I'm backing them in mate. Things will turn soon, at least we get a top 3 pick again. I'm sure Hamish won't **** it up this time. Seeya Timbo"

 

[jackster83]

final report will be, everything is fine, no changes needed

Yep.

We'll blame injuries and our inexperienced players.

 

[maxlilly]

final report will be, everything is fine, no changes needed

Silvers is doing a full football dept review in one week.
If Nicks is safe, he has obviously been white anting someone to take the heat off himself.

So after 5 years, Silvers is going to look into staff performance
My bet is Hamish has been the target and he will be replaced by... checks note, someone already at the club.

 

[cleanhands]

final report will be, everything is fine, no changes needed

 

[pjcrows]

No, now!

Ha! Sorry... busy day.

Fifteen minutes before the Semi against Sydney at the SCG he threw the gameplan out the window. "Walking out there tonight, I reckon the plan won't work... so, first option is to kick. Second option, kick. Third option, have a think about it, and kick. If you handball backwards you can get the f*ckin' Greyhound home and book your holiday early".

This was in late rounds of 2017, when the Crows were flying. He also said "If anyone is going to beat Adelaide in the Grand Final it's Richmond". A few of us chuckled (this is obviously before Richmond's first flag and they were perennial finals chokers). He said "Lock down the corridor on that big ground and we're no good".

Again, the rest is history. Good times!

 

[1970crow]

This moron is having an oxymoron.

Can Wayne please explain how you can conduct a thorough review of the football staff and structure but Nicks job is already declared safe before the review starts.

What happens if this 'thorough' review concludes Nicks should go?

Sounds like one of those review where you start with the result you want and then work backwards.

What a joke of a football club we are.

Hopefully it's not the same Tim Silvers that sits on both the football strategy and list management committees. If it is, it's no wonder the outcomes are already available.

 

[1970crow]

Yep.

We'll blame injuries and our inexperienced players.

Numerous factors outside of our control.

 

[pjcrows]

So the review about club decisions will be done by the bloke who makes the off-field decisions, and before the review has happened he's already made a judgement about the guy who makes the on-field decisions.

Seems legit.

 

[adelaidecrows]

final report will be, everything is fine, no changes needed

Bahahahahaha

So, how can you have a legitimate thorough review of the football department if the head coach is not being reviewed? lol. So when they conduct the review is it going to be like this.

Silvers 'so this programme we are running here isn't working, tell me about it'
Assistant coach 'well Nicksy..'
Silvers 'I'm going to stop you right there, this isn't about Nicks. But tell me who designed it and why did it come about?
Assistant coach 'So Nicksy..'
Silvers 'I see you are not cooperating with this line of inquiry!'

Silvers 'VB Thanks for coming in, so ive had issues with other assistant coaches not answering questions. We are a professional club and I'd like you to perhaps be more cooperative especially being an ex captain.'
VB: 'No problems'
Silvers 'so this programme we are running here isn't working, tell me about it'
VB 'well Nicksy..'
Silvers 'I'm going to stop you right there, this isn't about Nicks. But tell me who designed it and why did it come about?
VB 'So Nicksy..'
Silvers 'I thought you'd be better than the rest'

Board: 'Whats the conclusion of the view'
Silvers 'The assistant coaches are the problem'