Discussion The Random Discussion Thread

[StFly]

So, got a call yesterday 40mins before my shift ended; "Hey so we had a slot open up, can we install your things tomorrow instead of 2 weeks from now?". Me; Sure.

As I like having security doors that actually secure things instead of merely looking the part, so quicker is better and I am only sad I can no longer take my angle grinder to the door that failed me. Regardless...

He pops around at 11am, sweet I get a sleep in as usually up at 5:30am, winning! You think my body clock let me? FML.

So he starts with the flywire, as why do the door only when you have house flexing and tears and things on wire on the windows also, so there's me moving things from in front of windows, in front of doors so you know, updates can happen whilst he is unloading all the goodies I paid for.

Legit as soon as I sat back down so he could work and turn the tv on for music channel, my lower back went; "what is this activity, you're arthritic and I didn't have 4 weeks to prepare for this AND it's winter." so suffice to say, I tried standing up and it took me multiple attempts so I could shuffle in front of my heater.

So I am chatting with this guys as he installs the doors all "I am sad you just pulled that door off as I can no longer beat the shit outta it for failing me" and "lookit my nifty inner door handle job with you remarking how uneven that rail is to stroke my ego" meanwhile I am disguising that if the chair I am leaning on shifts I am going down with the ship.

So he gets to one window and "so it seems they cut this 1.5mm shorter than it needs to be" so on the phone, hoping for an alt flywire to arrive, and by the time everything else is done, there is the last piece of the puzzle, and I would be happy but...

Randomly, I can now walk around, but if I twist at the hip at all r if the body thinks I am moving too fast, my legs turn to jello and my lower back screams at me to sit TF down.

tldr, I had toast for lunch as toasters are portable to the floor, what did everyone else have? Oh and FML, pop plants are heavy and delayed onset of owwies.

 

[Pakenhamsaint]

Olympics around the corner.

May as well give Roy & HGs The dream a run again

 

[PoppedCorn]

i watched some stuff of theirs about a week or so ago

battered sav and hello boys gets me every time lol

 

[True Believer]

Me t

i watched some stuff of theirs about a week or so ago

battered sav and hello boys gets me every time lol

Me too, love the dream!!

 

[Sully111]

Saw a homeless guy asleep with his dick hanging out today.

My girlfriend and I walked past him and she looked at him and said "ewww". I thought FMD that's cold, haven't you ever seen a homeless person before... you don't look at them and say ewww. Then I saw his dick. I was quite relieved that my girlfriend isn't heartless and that her ewww was justified.

 

[StFly]

Saw a homeless guy asleep with his dick hanging out today.

My girlfriend and I walked past him and she looked at him and said "ewww". I thought FMD that's cold, haven't you ever seen a homeless person before... you don't look at them and say ewww. Then I saw his dick. I was quite relieved that my girlfriend isn't heartless and that her ewww was justified.

And then you thanked god that you wore pants and the zip hadn't failed, and also that the ewww didn't awaken the beast for a closer view.

 

[Brian Oblivion]

100 curses to use on your friends, work colleagues, enemies, your family, Cairnsman / gringo2011 etc.



100 x Curses

1. Change to Hermaphrodite or change gender randomly constantly
2. Cannot eat, mostly throws up
3. Animals all grow sick near you
4. People you meet hate you
5. Desperately try to mate as often as possible, increasingly desperate and weird
6. Any meat you try to eat becomes animated and crawls around like slugs
7. Any plant matter you try and eat turns rotten
8. You always get sexual diseases and spread it to every lover
9. Possessed – an hour a night you get up to no good and don’t remember what you did
10. Horrible crimes and accidents keep happening near you by coincidence
11. Love Is Blind – embracing a love object like a goat, elderly prostitute or virgin priestess
12. Nobody loves you and you constantly moan about lack of love annoying everybody
13. Boats always leak when you are in them
14. You lose control of your bladder when talking to opposite sex
15. Uncontrollable diarrhoea and vomiting when meeting new people
16. Holy symbols repulse you if wielded by believer
17. Children attack you on sight
18. Birds attack you in swarms daily
19. A ghost baby attaches itself to you, crying, weeping and haunting you and your fellow inhabitants with illusions and nightmares
20. You are doomed to fall in love with a dangerous or inaccessible person, possibly married already or sworn to chastity with a powerful family and followers to stop your advances
21. You believe the lice on your body are a tiny civilisation and you are their god, you tell people about this often
22. You only eat worms or grubs
23. You will not do anything without astrology reading or divination by some roadside hustler
24. You become a left handed if right currently and the reverse case also
25. You’re a fanatical masturbation fan
26. Secret police everywhere are intrigued by you and your success
27. Police think you look like your up to no good
28. You criticise everyone's clothing, personal style, haircut and grooming choices as often as possible
29. A single bizarre magic being torments you every full moon
30. Horrible digestive emissions – you stink up the place, ruin toilets and everyone hates you
31. Compulsive smoker – constantly using a pipe and smoking at all times – must smoke something constantly or you go into coma
32. Alcohol makes you ill and stupid (even more so)
33. Doldrums – Sailing ships won’t move with you aboard
34. Someone who looks just like you came and killed some locals – perhaps the mob will solve this problem ?
35. Constantly mistaken for a criminal – you look like trouble
36. Flies love you and probably frogs too
37. Liar Liar! – people don’t believe any of your stories, friends stories mentioning you sound bad, merchants fear you are a con man or robber
38. Offend Everybody – People misinterpret your words and explode into violence
39. Birds shit on you constantly
40. Lonely ghosts and spirits bug you out of boredom and for something to do
41. Dogs love humping your leg, they talk about how hot it is to other dogs
42. Everyone you kiss finds you repulsive and wants to be sick after
43. You find everything hilariously funny, laughing loudly at the wrong time
44. Doppelgängers causes you problems everywhere you go
45. Tentacle polyps grow on you
46. Old friends and loved ones forget you ever existed
47. Your nose swells and leaks phlegm constantly
48. You believe what everyone says no matter how stupid it is
49. Hooves – your feet become hooves, cloven or split - your choice
50. You can never find your way home
51. You think ugly people are beautiful and vice versa
52. You wake up in strange bed every morning
53. Only fools and children believe you
54. Barks like a dog, can hear self speech unchanged, everyone else thinks you barking mad
55. An older/younger version of you hunts you - who knows what will happen if you kill them ?
56. Sewerage tastes like delicious candy to you, you have no shame in pursuit of this yummy treat
57. Your teeth all fall out
58. Your fingernails and toenails fall out
59. You change bodies with your next lover
60. Androgyny - people are uncertain of your gender so you keep getting invited to wrong parties
61. You sleepwalk to deadly locations like a graveyard or a cliff
62. Your smile looks horrible and cruel and scares people
63. You grow a beak like a chicken or duck
64. You eat everything you kill or at least have a bite if pressed for time
65. Your thumbs disappear
66. Everyone thinks you are an idiot
67. When your enemies meet each other they become friends and allies
68. Unnatural attraction to animals rather than humanoids
69. Your pets hate you and become aggressive and attack you on sight
70. Irrational fear of poisoning, everyone is out to get you
71. You cant refuse a request for help
72. You cant keep a secret, blab about everything to everyone
73. All music, poetry, art and natural beauty does nothing for you
74. You seek out most the decadent, corrupt and depraved companions for horrible parties
75. You lose an inch in height a day till bug sized, stuff does not shrink
76. Poltergeist gropes members of opposite sex near you all the time causing you much trouble
77. Give everyone unwanted, untrue medical advice in patronising manner until you lose all your friends - obsess and always talk about health, crazy diets and strange exercises
78. Visited by sky spirits in bed at night, now you want to tell everybody about them and the humiliation they heaped on you
79. You cant refuse a bet, constantly lose and go broke
80. You believe you can speak any language but you can’t
81. Irrational fear of plants and fungus
82. You grow tentacles or crab claws for hands
83. Wherever you stay ghosts awaken
84. You fall in love with and marry horrible person, you only see best in them
85. Everyone thinks you are making sexual advances to them
86. Everyone thinks you are an idiot
87. You cannot hear without a huge ear trumpet
88. Your arms grow longer till knuckles drag on ground
89. All doors lock themselves when you approach
90. All animals howl in your presence
91. You sing instead of talk
92. Birds tell everyone your personal business
93. Everything you kill appears as a tattoo on your body
94. Only you can hear animals all making personal comments about you, starts to drive you crazy
95. You discover you were born with a tail and your mother sends it to you in a jar
96. Tools and items you need are never where they’re meant to be
97. You are compelled to only eat stolen food
98. Addicted to vice including, sex, drug addiction, alcoholic, prone to lewdness and running with crazy gangs of like minded often privileged hooligans
99. Black thumb – you cannot grow food
100. You follow St Kilda in the AFL

 

[DemurePrincess]

So, got a call yesterday 40mins before my shift ended; "Hey so we had a slot open up, can we install your things tomorrow instead of 2 weeks from now?". Me; Sure.

As I like having security doors that actually secure things instead of merely looking the part, so quicker is better and I am only sad I can no longer take my angle grinder to the door that failed me. Regardless...

He pops around at 11am, sweet I get a sleep in as usually up at 5:30am, winning! You think my body clock let me? FML.

So he starts with the flywire, as why do the door only when you have house flexing and tears and things on wire on the windows also, so there's me moving things from in front of windows, in front of doors so you know, updates can happen whilst he is unloading all the goodies I paid for.

Legit as soon as I sat back down so he could work and turn the tv on for music channel, my lower back went; "what is this activity, you're arthritic and I didn't have 4 weeks to prepare for this AND it's winter." so suffice to say, I tried standing up and it took me multiple attempts so I could shuffle in front of my heater.

So I am chatting with this guys as he installs the doors all "I am sad you just pulled that door off as I can no longer beat the shit outta it for failing me" and "lookit my nifty inner door handle job with you remarking how uneven that rail is to stroke my ego" meanwhile I am disguising that if the chair I am leaning on shifts I am going down with the ship.

So he gets to one window and "so it seems they cut this 1.5mm shorter than it needs to be" so on the phone, hoping for an alt flywire to arrive, and by the time everything else is done, there is the last piece of the puzzle, and I would be happy but...

Randomly, I can now walk around, but if I twist at the hip at all r if the body thinks I am moving too fast, my legs turn to jello and my lower back screams at me to sit TF down.

tldr, I had toast for lunch as toasters are portable to the floor, what did everyone else have? Oh and FML, pop plants are heavy and delayed onset of owwies.

Wrap yourself in cotton wool now STAT

 

[StFly]

Wrap yourself in cotton wool now STAT

Would be my choice "coming through bitches, get outta my way"

 

[Jayman15]

Steven Baker takes the points against Brodie Holland

Brodie Holland

Age

45

Ht

181cm

Wt

81kg

Pos.

Mid

Career

Season

Last 5

D

15.6

4star

K

10.2

4star

HB

5.4

4star

M

4.0

4star

T

1.8

4star

No current season stats available

D

10.8

3star

K

8.6

4star

HB

2.2

2star

M

3.0

3star

T

1.0

3star

in debut boxing bout

Former Saints tagger and Pies hard man go toe to toe in brutal boxing fight

Both former AFL stars Steven Baker and Brodie Holland were looking fatigued by the end of the fight, with the former Saint winning by…

www.theroar.com.au

 

[StFly]

"And even though it was only 3x 2 minute rounds, both men were absolutely buggered."

Though yeah, dog act to throw a knee early in the first by Holland there.

 

[SaintsSeptember]

Not sure how you'd beat Baker, punching him would only make him want more.

 

[BigPowerForward]

YouTube auto generated subtitles still has a few bugs to iron out

 

[StFly]

YouTube auto generated subtitles still has a few bugs to iron out
View attachment 2027705

Well given they get abused by creatures like bees for pollination, subtitles check out as factual.

 

[Sully111]

Narita airport was brutal last night. Took 3 hours to get out of the airport.

 

[gringo2011]

Narita airport was brutal last night. Took 3 hours to get out of the airport.

Airports are ****ed since covid.

 

[DemurePrincess]

Narita airport was brutal last night. Took 3 hours to get out of the airport.

Did you have a beer at least

 

[DemurePrincess]

Airports are ****ed since covid.

Especially for impatient people! (Like me!)

Like seriously! Why the **** do you want me to remove my ****ing belt going through security?

I want to go away ffs so I’m not straggling no ****ing pilot!

 

[True Believer]

Airports are ****ed since covid.

Depends on the airport. I got out of Manila airport last week in about 5 minutes, through international at Tullamarine in about 10 minutes, and got out of Dallas airport about 8 weeks back in about 3 minutes!

 

[dudeintheswamp]

Especially for impatient people! (Like me!)

Like seriously! Why the **** do you want me to remove my ****ing belt going through security?

I want to go away ffs so I’m not straggling no ****ing pilot!

User name checks out.

 

[DemurePrincess]

User name checks out.

Ha ha hardy ha ha!

 

[Sarcoidevo]

Narita airport was brutal last night. Took 3 hours to get out of the airport.

I went through Haneda last year .... had a connecting flight 3 hrs out of the domestic terminal later and after 2hrs I had to jump the customs line .... it was brutal alright

You think Japan airports would be state of art but it was 1980s like

 

[Pakenhamsaint]

I went through Haneda last year .... had a connecting flight 3 hrs out of the domestic terminal later and after 2hrs I had to jump the customs line .... it was brutal alright

You think Japan airports would be state of art but it was 1980s like

It took my mate and his family about an hour to get through Haneda last year.

 

[SaintsSeptember]

I went through Haneda last year .... had a connecting flight 3 hrs out of the domestic terminal later and after 2hrs I had to jump the customs line .... it was brutal alright

You think Japan airports would be state of art but it was 1980s like

Japanese can be way more conservative than you'd think.
Dealing with Toyota used to be very frustrating.
"You have to use Kanban".( Japanese for "card" ). "No we use computer".

 

[gringo2011]

Japanese can be way more conservative than you'd think.
Dealing with Toyota used to be very frustrating.
"You have to use Kanban".( Japanese for "card" ). "No we use computer".

I haven't been to Japan for 8 years or something but the airports are quite old school unless they've upgraded. Even a lot of the train carriages are immaculate but look like they are from 1970. They used to have taxis that looked like 1980s Toyota Coronas still then.