-
AFLW 2024 - Round 10 - Chat, game threads, injury lists, team lineups and more.
A biped norf fan walks into a bar...
- Thread starter SwampCreature
- Start date
- Tagged users None
- Thread starter
- Banned
- #102
Matthew Hayden walks into the bar and orders a heap of shots.
Cut shots, sweep shots, pull shots, scoop shots, the lot. He is putting them away with ease, at times as good as anyone in his generation.
He moves from the bar outside to the deck. He makes that old, dusty deck his own, mastering the sweep shot like very few drinkers before him.
Suddenly bigfooty poster PaddyO walks up beside him.
"Mate what are you doing?" he says. "You're no good."
The crowd gathered to watch Hayden's feat is incredulous.
"What are you on about PaddyO?" a voice calls out. "This is, statistically, some of the best drinking we've ever seen."
"Lol," says the delusional and unpopular PaddyO. "Anyone could do these shots on a deck like this. Especially all these sweep shots."
"Sweep shots don't count."
PaddyO is attacked and carried out of the bar by the crowd. He is thrown outside and vows to never return.
Everyone at the bar buys a copy of Hayden's book. He invites everyone to his house the next day for a barbecue.
Cut shots, sweep shots, pull shots, scoop shots, the lot. He is putting them away with ease, at times as good as anyone in his generation.
He moves from the bar outside to the deck. He makes that old, dusty deck his own, mastering the sweep shot like very few drinkers before him.
Suddenly bigfooty poster PaddyO walks up beside him.
"Mate what are you doing?" he says. "You're no good."
The crowd gathered to watch Hayden's feat is incredulous.
"What are you on about PaddyO?" a voice calls out. "This is, statistically, some of the best drinking we've ever seen."
"Lol," says the delusional and unpopular PaddyO. "Anyone could do these shots on a deck like this. Especially all these sweep shots."
"Sweep shots don't count."
PaddyO is attacked and carried out of the bar by the crowd. He is thrown outside and vows to never return.
Everyone at the bar buys a copy of Hayden's book. He invites everyone to his house the next day for a barbecue.
sikm8
All Australian
- Jun 12, 2011
- 715
- 1,322
- AFL Club
- Geelong
Freofalcon
Born from an egg on a mountain top
- Jun 20, 2011
- 27,129
- 59,070
- AFL Club
- Fremantle
- Other Teams
- West Perth, Hajduk Split, West Ham
An Eagles supporter walks into a bar to watch an Eagles away game.
He walks out at three quarter time.
He walks out at three quarter time.
- Jun 29, 2014
- 2,788
- 4,102
- AFL Club
- North Melbourne
- Other Teams
- AFL ASIA Myanmar Fighting *****
EFA
oogac
Norm Smith Medallist
Jose walks out of a bar and along a path into a forest.
Hears a noise behind a tree. Goes over and has a look and it was the Big Bad Wolf.
"My what big ears you have" said Jose ... The Wolf got up and ran off.
So Jose staggered a little further along the path, and hears a noise behind a rock
Goes over to investigate and sees the Big Bad Wolf again.
"My what big eyes you have" said Jose ... The Wolf got up and ran off again.
So Jose proceeded along the path and sees a shrub shaking from side to side
Goes over to check it out and sees the Big Bad Wolf again.
"My what big teeth you have" said Jose.
To which the Wolf replied ... "F#$% off Jose, cant you see I'm trying to have a shit!"
Hears a noise behind a tree. Goes over and has a look and it was the Big Bad Wolf.
"My what big ears you have" said Jose ... The Wolf got up and ran off.
So Jose staggered a little further along the path, and hears a noise behind a rock
Goes over to investigate and sees the Big Bad Wolf again.
"My what big eyes you have" said Jose ... The Wolf got up and ran off again.
So Jose proceeded along the path and sees a shrub shaking from side to side
Goes over to check it out and sees the Big Bad Wolf again.
"My what big teeth you have" said Jose.
To which the Wolf replied ... "F#$% off Jose, cant you see I'm trying to have a shit!"
Tom Boyd walks in to bar and is told to piss off your dirty money is not welcome here
Stronzo
Hall of Famer
Then wat happens?
Catscratch
Cancelled
- Jul 30, 2015
- 6,708
- 8,720
- AFL Club
- Richmond
- Thread starter
- Banned
- #112
I dunno? He turns on his PC and posts 35+ times a day on bigfooty?
He's not invited to Matty Hayden's BBQ, that's for sure.
Rusty Cohle
Senior List
- Mar 11, 2014
- 166
- 646
- AFL Club
- West Coast
Adam Goodes walks into a bar.
Swans have to hire a minder to keep Adam from getting himself into trouble.
Swans have to hire a minder to keep Adam from getting himself into trouble.
JoseMourinho
Not A Manager
The Wolf should be shitting in the designated shitting forest.
- Thread starter
- Banned
- #115
Bryce Gibbs walks into a bar. As he approaches the barman accidentally drops a glass he is drying.
The glass drops with a crash. Bryce dives beneath a table to hide and refuses to leave until his mum arrives to pick him up.
The glass drops with a crash. Bryce dives beneath a table to hide and refuses to leave until his mum arrives to pick him up.
- Aug 12, 2013
- 10,124
- 11,373
- AFL Club
- GWS
Cyril walks into the bar and the barmen says,"Ladies lounge that way".
Catscratch
Cancelled
- Jul 30, 2015
- 6,708
- 8,720
- AFL Club
- Richmond
After the Hawks and Tigers clash, Bruce Mcavaney walks into every bar, licking his lips, searching.... delicious "RIOLI"..... delicious"CYRIL"....delicious"MAURICE"...delicious.
Nathan Bock's girlfriend "walked into a bar".
Domestic violence is not funny and if you like this you're a terrible person.
Domestic violence is not funny and if you like this you're a terrible person.
LiterallyNobody
Cancelled due to poster being a Campaigner
30k Posts
10k Posts
Cake Connoisseur
SFA Daffodil Day Fund Raiser
Harry Potter Fan
Song Contest Winner - 5+ Rounds
Shiny Penny
- Jul 26, 2006
- 35,635
- 32,226
- AFL Club
- St Kilda
A ****ing big footy poster ****ing walks into s ****ing bar and says:
"Hey barman you ****ing campaigner, gimme a ****en drink"
The barman turns to him and says "that'll be five doll-"
"I don't ****ing care how much it ****ing is!" Screams the bigfooty poster, "just gimme a ****ing drink and put on my ****ing tab you ****ing dumb campaigner!!!"
He then launches into a rant about how everything is shit and his football team sucks balls and never accomplished anything, each speech laced with expletives.
Eventually the police come along and escort him out of the bar.
"Hey barman you ****ing campaigner, gimme a ****en drink"
The barman turns to him and says "that'll be five doll-"
"I don't ****ing care how much it ****ing is!" Screams the bigfooty poster, "just gimme a ****ing drink and put on my ****ing tab you ****ing dumb campaigner!!!"
He then launches into a rant about how everything is shit and his football team sucks balls and never accomplished anything, each speech laced with expletives.
Eventually the police come along and escort him out of the bar.
- Jun 30, 2014
- 10,169
- 5,513
- AFL Club
- Essendon
- Banned
- #121
Begs for a hand out or
isamedthegiants
Club Legend
- May 3, 2016
- 1,528
- 1,720
- AFL Club
- GWS
- Banned
- #122
A Fremantle Fan, a Collingwood fan and a Giants fan are sitting at the bar.
They all order a drink.
The Collingwood fan skols his pint throws the glass in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots it saying; "Back home glasses are so cheap we never drink from the same glass twice"
The Freo and Giants fans look impressed.
So the Freo fan skols his pint, throws it in the air and shoots it saying; "Back home we have so much sand to make the glasses so we never drink out of the same glass twice, either"
The Giants fan was shocked, as was the bar keep. So he skols his pint, pulls out his gun and shoots the Collingwood and Freo fans and said, "No bastard ever wants to have more than 1 drink with a Freo or Collingwood fan"
They all order a drink.
The Collingwood fan skols his pint throws the glass in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots it saying; "Back home glasses are so cheap we never drink from the same glass twice"
The Freo and Giants fans look impressed.
So the Freo fan skols his pint, throws it in the air and shoots it saying; "Back home we have so much sand to make the glasses so we never drink out of the same glass twice, either"
The Giants fan was shocked, as was the bar keep. So he skols his pint, pulls out his gun and shoots the Collingwood and Freo fans and said, "No bastard ever wants to have more than 1 drink with a Freo or Collingwood fan"
- Thread starter
- Banned
- #123
Cyril Rioli walks into a bar, trips over a stool, knocks over a tray of drinks and kicks a woman in the face as he falls.
Bruce McAvaney is sitting in the corner watching, as he follows Cyril everywhere.
"Oh, look at Rioli," Bruce commentates. "He's so creative. He totally meant that. Nobody else on the bar could do something like that. Sublime skill."
Bruce begins to masturbate under the table.
Bruce McAvaney is sitting in the corner watching, as he follows Cyril everywhere.
"Oh, look at Rioli," Bruce commentates. "He's so creative. He totally meant that. Nobody else on the bar could do something like that. Sublime skill."
Bruce begins to masturbate under the table.
Packedlunch
Brownlow Medallist
A suns fan backed into a bar...
Travis Cloke goes to the bar to catch up with his teammate and misses the door.
