Vintage Bay Diary of a Welching Flog - A True Story Containing a Real Life Grand Final Parade Welch

[Plugger35]

He's taking the Micky Malthouse out of us now!

Who has a family BBQ on the day before the GF? Most people have a BBQ on the actual day of the game.

 

[Stan_Darsh72]

Could be a Korean BBQ on Bourke St maybe?

(Those poor Amstaff puppies!)

There was one near bourke street mall that was very good.

Not sure if they accept WelcherCard however

 

[Freofalcon]

Officers Starburns and BigJoey rounding up suspects for a lineup.

 

[Benwah83]

Instead of landing on the tyres, he had landed inside. He was trapped inside a 9ft rubbery cone. He looked around but it was helpless; there was no way out. Anger and frustration boiling over, he screamed at the top of his lungs "D/H!!!!!!" It certainly most definitely had not been a Goodyear for the Croatian Tiger.....

 

[Benwah83]

Also, what's this about a family barbecue on Friday?!?!

Poor excuse - it's going to be 25 degrees in Melbourne on Friday. If he drops his dacks at the parade he'll be able to get his own sausage sizzle going

 

[Gray Day]

Just quietly, I've received word that WelchyBlues is also a button masher

I guess we shouldn't be surprised

 

[Higgins2Waite]

A new passage is out!!!

 

[Gray Day]

Poor Croat Tiger

I gonna go out and rattle some tins down Arden St so we can buy him a new battery for his Huawei, who's with me?

 

[Gray Day]

DVB denies being a button masher.

 

[GWBogan]

Hopefully he reveals his banger and mash on the day.

Then divvied for real.

 

[JoseMourinho]

As he disappeared into the shadow, the parrot above the nearby building squawked....

Bwark! I don't remember signing up to your shit story, Peace Out THawk! SQuawk!

 

[boondy]

Sexiest woman in the history of time.

yeah but nuh each to their own . I married a strawbery blonde supermodel but thats the thing variety the spice of life

 

[boondy]

Awfully kind of you but no need to friend, I'm just glad you're enjoying the story

If you really wanted to I believe the Hawks posters have devised an automatic like button

the like button is the only way I know I havent missed an instalment . Go Eagles go sgio

sorry to be naive what is a button masher . ( my guess is its someone who reports posts )

 

[Gray Day]

the like button is the only way I know I havent missed an instalment . Go Eagles go sgio

sorry to be naive what is a button masher . ( my guess is its someone who reports posts )

A button masher certainly is someone who likes to report posts.

Examples of well-known button mashers include DTRAIN87/dymot and Bayer_

 

[richoatthedisco]

yeah but nuh each to their own . I married a strawbery blonde supermodel but thats the thing variety the spice of life

This episode of The Muppet Show awoke a certain 6-year-old to the knowledge that he was a man and she was a WA-WA-WOAH-MAN!, and that was Good.



Here's the lovely Raquel doing a duet with none other than Suzi herself (or is it Boomer's missus?).

 

[Catscratch]

Just quietly, I've received word that WelchyBlues is also a button masher

I guess we shouldn't be surprised

Welcher, button masher, drop kick the list goes on and on.........

 

[Packedlunch]

Just quietly, I've received word that WelchyBlues is also a button masher

I guess we shouldn't be surprised

Who mashed the button on him being a button masher?


Nttawwt

 

[Red mist]

Awesome.

 

[Porked04]

Hai DaVillaBlues

24 hrs to go Flogbucket, what a journey this past week has been! Your trip to Japan, engagement to Sooz, the night behind bars; it's been quite a ride my flogwallah friend

I wrote you this little sonnet to commerate this special week:

There once was a Flog called DaVilly
Who made a bet that was very silly
He said the statement was a fib
When in fact he was really a great big squib
And too embarrassed to expose little DaWilly



Peace Out in T minus 24hrs, P04

 

[Gray Day]

Who mashed the button on him being a button masher?


Nttawwt

There is suspicion around how long a certain elias lasted

 

[royals1922]

Welcher, button masher, drop kick the list goes on and on.........

D/H also

 

[Yidaki]

Welchers have a higher tendency to button mash. Likewise, button mashers have a higher tendency to welch.

 

[Jevy]

"She sat on the couch and began to cry as Matthew Capuano won a ruck clearance."

Another cracker.

 

[Higgins2Waite]

i got dobbed in for a poo picture of hird the turd ( original eh ) , despite erasing after 1 minute 3 minutes later a mod was on my case and I was depleted 4 points , so a masher dobbed me in ahh now i know a new bay word .

can points be loaned? I'm willing to take donations!

 

[Porked04]

10.35pm, Thursday 31st September, 2015

Black Flog was drawing on all his powerful floggiful senses to find him. He was vital to his plans to change and revolutionise the Bay. It had just past 10.35pm, time was of the essence....

--

She lugged her watch back into the car. The timepiece took up the whole back seat of her Lexus. They were tired and exhausted. However they couldn't shake the feeling that the man they met early indeed was the one everyone was looking for. Motivated to prevent a Crime against the Bay, they ventured back into the city....

--

He moved with stealth precision through the night time dark. He logged on to his account; and was disheartened by the immense weight of the criticism. He was polling worse than Bayer at a Strip Club. He ducked across the road and made a reverse-charge call to the third lady in his life; or second now that he had ended his affair with the car wreck - his mum. Their conversation was routine, she chastised him for not calling, doing his chores, being a flog; the usual nagging he commonly received.

"Look mum will ya shut up D/H for a sec?" he said when he could no longer take it.
Shocked, his beloved mother responded "Excuse me, what did you just say to your MaVillaBlu....."
"Sorry Ma, look I got some grouse news. Me and Sooz have got engaged!"
She gasped in delight, "Really, oh dear that's wonderful! Congratulations sweety, I'm so excit....... hang on a minute, you haven't knocked her up have you? She was looking more pudgier than usual last time I checked."
"Nah Ma, it's nothing like that. Listen can we round up all the DaRellies and have a BBQ tomorrow at yours?" he asked.
"Of course, I'll make SPAM sliders and SPAM and potato salad; oh it will be a wonderful day! Tell Sooz she's more than welcome to bring Brad Scott over, I've never actually met him yet."
"Yeah whatever. Listen Ma I gotta go. Peace Out." he replied

The plan was in place. He had no intention of going to the BBQ; he felt no remorse welching on that. He made an update to his Profile:

Will be at a Family Barbeque on Friday, so won't be able to attend the Grand Final Parade. Peace out

--

Ace Taxi's were a 24/7 operation. Andy was thus accustomed at driving through the night. He agreed to drop the two St Kilda gentleman back at the Diner. "I could do with a late night snack of fush and chups Cookie bro" the St Kilda man said to his friend. Andy dropped the men at the Diner and returned to the city in the hope of picking up a few night time flogs on their way home.

--

Her opponent sunk the eight-ball, ensuring that she was defeated for the third time that day. He rankings had slipped outside the Online Pool Top 100. She cried, she hadn't heard from the Croatian Tiger or the man with A Cut Above his head. Even though she was angry at him, she missed his floggish company, stories about Manchester City and cuddling up to his skeletal spindly body. "It's like I'm hugging a bag of goalpost" she used to tease him. She hoped that she would see him soon.....

--

His feet were screaming with pain, he had been walking around for hours. He saw the Taxi and put out his arm to hail the vehicle. It was Ace Taxi Company; a reliable outfit he had used in the past.

"Where to mate?" the driver Andy asked.
"Anywhere, I just wanna sit back and Peace Out for half an hour" he said rubbing his temples.
"That kinda day huh? Tell me about it, I'm a Carlton supporter, twenty bloody years of it" Andy said, making light conversation.
"Me too, I truly believed Mick that we wouldn't lose a game all year" replied the passenger.
"Conned us both he did. So who's your tip for Sat'day mate?" Andy asked.
"To be honest I couldn't give a f*** about it. I've been more worried about tomorrow" he let slip.
Andy's ears perked up, "why would you be worried about tomorrow? The Parade is a day of festivity."
"Oh nothing, forget I even said it" he replied, trying to cover his tracks.
"Listen, you're not DaV......" Andy enquired.
"Sorry mate, you have the wrong person" he said, not enjoying the direction of the conversation.
"Yeah, that's it" Andy began "you're that uber flog that made that Parade bet aren't you?"

The car pulled to a stop at the red light at the intersection. In that instant, he unbuckled his seatbelt told Andy to pleasure himself sexually in a less polite manner, and escaped from the Taxi, welching on paying.

From the top of the tall Gum Tree on the sidewalk, a Parrot squawked two screeching squawks......



To be continued.....




EDIT That awful moment when you realise there is no such date as September 31st